Gotta a ? - How do I tell her?

[Mya Summers]

Are they're any CD's that are married to a GG that know you are a CD? And how do they react to it+? Do they look at you different or do they accept you for who you really are? If anyone can help me out w/this topic I would really apreciate it.

[Dixie]

My wife has always known, it is one of the things she loves about me (playing with Dixie).:heehee:

[Mya Summers]

How did she act when you first told her about it? And does she let you do it all of the time? To bad your wife and my wife couldn't talk to one another so my wife could learn to accept me for who I am.

[Lori SC]

Mya,

There are a lot of us who are married (or have girlfriends) that know everything there is to know about us and CD.

Just look in the past posts for all sorts of stories about telling wives and girlfriends and their reactions. There are a number of GGs who post here, and the GGs have their own special section, if your SO wants to talk to other GGs.

In my case I told my wife rather than her think I was having an affair over the internet. Her initial reaction? Shock is probably the best way to describe it.

We didn't talk for about 24 hrs. It was pure hell. Then slowly, it got better. But only becasue we did a Lot, I mean a lot, of talking about it.

After about 6 months she was relativly comfortable with my CDing and attended a convention with me.

She is pretty supportive now, but if I never CD again, she would not miss it one bit.

Hugs, Lori

[Mya Summers]

Thank you for replying back to me on this, but how do I go about and tell her that I found a place for CD'ers w/out causing any problems?

[Byllie]

My wife has known for over a year, and supports my exploring my femme side, but she prefers not to join me in the exploration.

[Gisele]

My fiance knows.

We have been together since the Sept 11 attacks. We met due to a friend of ours that worked at the same hospital as we did. Jenn and I clicked really quick.
We did the usual dates and all. She was living with a woman that had a daughter that loved to steal things from Jenn. So being a typical guy I said why not move in with me.
At that point I was CDing alot being home alone. I did think that would help me quit some what. WRONG! All of my feeling were there still.
So, now at that point we have been together for about 3 months. I had to tell her! I had the feeling that she would understand me. One night when we were laying in bed talking I just came out with it.....My belly was doing flip flops big time.

I got the usual questions..like why and how long but never was asked if I was gay. I think I proved that to her quite a few times:D I just was honest and told her everything. I also let her know that I am still a man and will always be there for her. We talked for hours and I was just amazed on how she reacted. She said "it's just the way you are" and "that I am ok with it".

Before she moved in I had tossed alot of my fem things out. I didnt want her to find out before I told her. So afte the talk I started out buying panties and hose. Then I have worked up to wigs and breast forms and a ton of clothes.

Now we have been together for almost 6 yrs and we are lovers and best friends and a big plus we are girlfriends. We go out as girls would do and have a ball. She fully supports me and gets me. When we go out she is always looking for something for Beth.

I would not trade her for anything ever! I have had one other GF that I told her that I like panties for the comfort thing. She was cool with it but never knew about my CDing. I am glad that relationship is over. That is a loooong story.

So I can say to you that I have someting great in my life and I can only hope all of the girls here that don't, will soon too. I know it is a lonley life style cause of the FEAR of the unknown in telling you SO about you. I really don't know where I would be if I didnt have her and told her. That is scary for me to think of.

I think you sould just come clean with her. Sit her down and tell her to hear you out and give her all of the info that you can so she can see for her self.

All I can say is that you need to be prepared for anything! I dont know your wife so I cant tell you how she will react. Some loose everything and most gain ground. I was just one of the lucky ones that got everything.

Let us know what you decide and I hope anything that I said can help you out.

:hugs: Beth

[susie evans]

my wife has known since before we got married and that was 36 years ago and still going

:love: susie

[Joy Carter]

I told my wife the first month we were married. But she lived in denial for the past thirty seven years. It wasn't a shock that I wanted to be more true to my feelings last year that upset her. It was that I gave in to how I felt about my self that up set her. You know we are the "strong" one's in the realationship.

[racquel]

I told my s/o before the relationship was serious and she was o.k with it.Had fun buying me stuff and shopping,and that was twenty-three years ago(next month).Be honest about everything if you love her and expect the relationship to last.Honesty is paramount.:2c:

[Sheri 4242]

Mya,

I told my wife about the time that I knew we were getting really serious and I realized I would be asking her to marry me. To me, that's the best time: before you're married -- in fact, before your engaged -- when you are starting to see where the relationship is going. If you will check previous threads, you'll see we have discussed this subject many, many times -- especially since there have been many GGs who didn't know for one year into the marriage, two years, three, and on and on. Some, as you'll see, still don't know, and some didn't find out until the marriage was ten, twenty, or thirty years old. You'll also see many debates on how a lot of GG's react upon learning they are married to a CD whom they have been married to for years (Often not a pretty sight!)

In the main, if you'll take the time to research the site (many of the previous threads), you'll find out that many of us are married -- and that how our respective wives have (or have not) accepted CDing varies greatly -- from no acceptance or tolerance, to some tolerance, to fully supportive and encouraging!

You'll also see that many GG's regularly post here! Your SO would be most welcome b/c this is the best site I have ever found for open dialogue, education, edification, and debate!!! Encourage your SO to get on here so that she can ask anything that may be particularly weighing on her mind. There is even a GG-only section to help facilitate a SO opening up to just her sisters!

To quickly answer some of your other questions: I am free to dress whenever I want at home -- and occassionally in public. I am glad I told my wife before we got engaged -- it helped a great deal! My wife had some natural questions b/c CDing was relatively unknown to her before me. She's a real gem (and I know how lucky I am) b/c she is not only accepting, but she is very encouraging!!! I don't even own any men's underwear anymore -- always underdress in panties. My wife says I have three times as many bras as she has -- and I definitely have her beat in number of skirts and dresses. I always dress when going to bed, too. We get a laugh out of it, b/c I dress for bed in nighties, and she dresses for bed in t-shirts. Go figure! (But, hey, truthfully, that is how she is most comfortable, and vice-versa!) Anyway, hope this helps! Feel free to ask any other questions you might have!!!

[Sandra]

Hope you don't mind me answering here


I'm married to Nigella and have been for nearly 20 years, known about the CDing for 19 a half years. I found it hard at first because I just didn't understand the whole CD thing and things were pushed to quick for my liking, but through talking and support forums and taking things slow we have got to where we are now, which is her CDing 24/7 and I mean 24/7 she has no male clothing at all. To me she is still my husband she just like to wear female clothes and I fully support her in that.

[Suzie S.]

Hi Mya! :happy: I'm married also, and my wife accepts my cding. I'm a late bloomer to cding, the development of my dressing started after we had met. We did a lot of talking and exploring together. After 12 years of marriage, and a lot of patience and understanding on both our parts, it is at a level that is comfortable for us both.

[Teddie]

My wife has know since the 1st year of our marriage. I should have told her before, as she is 100% accepting and enjoys my feminine side. She makes CDing fun.

[sami1952]

My so has known about it for around 18 years,it acts the same as before she knew.

[TxKimberly]

Yepper,

Been married 20 years and STILL don't kno wwhy she puts up with me.
She's OK with it, not thrilled, not appaled, but OK.

Kim

[DAVIDA]

I knew Jean for 11 years before we got married. I told her when I asked her to marry me. Her response was "so". It is 16.5 years later and she is the one that helped me to come to terms with CDing.
I dress all the time at home. We have had the pleasure to go to Atlanta twice since December and meet with girls and their SOs at the local Tri Ess meetings.
Jean has also said to make reservations for the Southern Comfort event comming up!:heehee:

[SandyR]

I have been married 23 years. She found out about it last October. I would not recomend this approach, although lucky for me she is very acepting and we just take it slow. She said "I always knew something was different". So see, I don't think we can hide it.

Hugs...

SandyR

[Staci G]

just like we are all different, my wife is no where near accepting of Staci (which I have enough postings regarding the subject) I am happy for those that have a SO that accepts or even tolerates the CD side of them, Good luck I hope you have a open minded wife that is willing to at least try to research the whys and whatfors

[Stephanie@MtG]

Been married for 5years, wife is no way supporive of my needs to express my femme side, i am one of the unlucky ones it would seem, would love to go shopping with her and try in new clothes, but i have to do it in private which makes me feel like i am doing something wrong, i know i am not, i'm just being me, but i feel a little guilt when i dress

[stacie]

My wife knows and accepts it. But when I came out to her I did it in little steps. Didn't want to over load her.

[Sheila]

I found out about ny partners cding 2 1/2 years into our relationship .... my initial reaction was of hurt and anger............ but not because he cdd but because he lied to me over and over again ............. 9 months later i am an active member here............ still with him and love him more today than the day I first met him or found out about his cding....... am not entirely comfortable with Claire but that is because we don't actually get much time for Claire to be .......... family commitments and lack of space are really restricting my DH dressing at the moment and have done for the past few months. To me she was a part of the man I fell in love with I just didn't know it at the time.

If you decide that you are going to let yopur wife know about your cding it may be a good idea to have this site written down for her to explore if she wants to, you could also search for srticle sto print out explaining what cding is and waht it means........... please don't forget to include views from wives and how they reacted ....... she will probably need to know that she is not alone.

if She is not comfortable with viewing the publoc forum just PM any of the GG's and I am sure many of us would be willing to email with her (myself include)

good luck hun

[kay2]

I don't do wig, make-up, or forms - but everything else is fair game. I was always open with my SO from the start. Her reaction was excitement at being able to borrow some of my clothes! But then, we share an attitude that many social norms are rather arbitrary.

I have a metric that I find essential, though some might find it harsh. TOTAL HONESTY about it, at least from the time you begin to get serious about each other; if you are going to begin making commitments to each other, you need to know what you are committing to. If she is not okay with it, then I believe the relationship is in for trouble. She need not be "into" it - just as you might not be into her interest in gardening or whatever. But if it is not okay, you will live under a pall, and it is likely that there will be other issues that will leave you with an ache in your heart. Getting to "okay with it" might even involve visits to a counselor together.

My best hopes for you.

[Dixie]

I never had to tell my wife, she started dressing me in lingere when we were dating. I love my wife she helps me to be all the woman I can be as often as is possible sorry I couldn't be of more help. :hugs:

[Mitch23]

came out after 11 years - not recommended - as others have said total honesty is the only way. still working through - sometimes accepting, sometimes intolerant, genuinely can't understand it - thinks i'm confused but still married and still love each other!

mitch

[Mya Summers]

Thank you all for your answers, even though my wife has known about my CDing since our first year of marriage she still isn't very comfortable w/it, but I hope in time that she will. Also last night while I was cooking her supper for her I just came out and told her that I found a sight for CDer's, needless to say it didn't go over very well at first, but I told her that she could get on here and talk to some of the other SO's and talk w/them and ask them Questions. she passed on it but I know her she will be curious and start getting on here herself. However I did not dwell on the conversation but just a minute b/c I did not want to make her anymore distant from it than what she already is. I CD when she is at work, and on occasions she will let me CD when we clean the house together, but I will not do it when my children around for I don't want to mess w/ their heads and confuse them b/c they are young very young.
Again thank you for the replies, the help and the warm welcomes. I feel that this is my home away from home. You girls are so helpfull and kind. Hope everyone has a good day. I'm gonna run and get some smokes and come back home and slip into something more comfortable:D . Bye for now.

Hugs and Kisses,
Luv Mya

[Angie G]

My wife of 38 years knows for the last 2 years and is accepting we go shopping for Angie and I dress Monday-friday around the house :hugs:
Angie

[Mya Summers]

wow you waited a long time to tell her but atleast she accepts you for who you truly are and lets you do it and go shopping for Angie. I hope that wife will get better at it and do the same for me.