question to all crossdressers and partners

[stephani oneil]

My wife came back home the other day and showed me what she had purchased. She had bought a false moustache and beard, hairy chest. In the other bag was a prosthetic penis and testicles. In the third bag she showed me various items of mens clothes. She told me she had spent several hundred pounds on our credit card, but told me this was because part of her neede to express herself as a man and she wanted to be known as "Sid ". This of course is a scenario, but how would you really react?

[j9113]

I would be fine with that. I have spent all my life accepting pepole for who they are. We all want to be accepted so in order for the change we all desperatly want we must accept all. :2c: :happy:

[Mistybtm]

I have no problem with it she can be the he and i will be the her.
:thumbsup:

[Toyah]

Its very simple crossdressing is not real its not a lifestyle (here we go I am gonna get the nutters here), Being TS is a lifestyle CDing is not its a hobby. If she really wanted to dress as a guy from time to time as I do like a woman that would be OK but if she said I want to be Sid and be full time then out the door she would go as I would if I wanted to be full time.

[Kate Simmons]

I would be surprised to say the least because my wife is a real girly girl and I wouldn't take it seriously. Maybe she is trying to prove a point to me? Even if she put it on and pretended to be a guy, it wouldn't last. She loves her womanhood too much. Still, something like this would be a shock to a lot of guys if the shoe were on the other foot.:happy:

[Kelly,R]

I agree with Toyah,well said

[horice 3]

I, actually can see Stephani's point, it not that i wouldnt accept it, but it would be a shock and It would present all sorts of emotions and questions to me especially if they wanted to be intimate when dressed. I know I say that I accept diversity, but this would certainly push my bounderies

[Karren H]

I'd freak out, cry, ask her all kinds of questions, threaten to leave and take the children with me if she didn't stop and throw them away that instant and promise to never ever do it again.... That's the truth...

That's why I'm not surprised when my wife acted simularily... and don't blame her one bit ...

Karren

[Nicole]

Happy to have inspired this thread. ;)

I'd react with surprise, shock, denial, hurt feelings, distancing myself, slowly coming back, gradual understanding, and finally acceptance... and quicker if 'he' was good in bed. :devil:

[battybattybats]

Umm... if I feel that I am, for example, 60% male 40% female and need to express myself accordingly as male 60% of the time and female 40% of the time... wouldn't that be a lifestyle too? I don't understand why, just becasue one doesn't want to be the other way permanantly it should just be relegated to a hobby. I'm pretty sure gender is a spectrum, not just one or the other and I'm definately not at either end but somewhere in between.

And yep, If my GF did that I'd be supportive. I might want her to keep her Feminine side but I wouldn't ask her to, though I'd express how I felt, because I respect that it's her body, her choice, her right. If she wanted to be like that some of the time, fione. SRS? Fine too. I love her for who she is on the inside, while the outside is attractive it's what's inside that counts.

"You can morally claim no right that you do not freely allow to all others"

[Raychel]

I would support her the best that I can. She would still be the person that I married, no matter how she dressed. Lthough there would certainly not be any sexual attraction there, Just as she has very little attraction to my dressing.

[Joy Carter]

Hmmm. Maybe if she called her self Francesco, I'd be with it.:D

[TxKimberly]

My wife came back home the other day and showed me what she had purchased. She had bought a false moustache and beard, hairy chest. In the other bag was a prosthetic penis and testicles. In the third bag she showed me various items of mens clothes. She told me she had spent several hundred pounds on our credit card, but told me this was because part of her neede to express herself as a man and she wanted to be known as "Sid ". This of course is a scenario, but how would you really react?

Well,

At first it took me a moment to realize where you were going with this and I thought your wife had done this to show YOU how it felt.
OK, so for an answer that is as honest as I can be. I would love it if we were talking about a way for her to "dress up" and go out with me. One reason my wife will not go out with me is because we have no fear of someone recognizing ME, but my wife is fair game if she is with me.
On the other hand, if she wanted to dress like this ALL of the time I would not be pleased at all, but then this is not what I do to her either. I dress rarely these days and never at home.

Kim

[TxKimberly]

... and quicker if 'he' was good in bed...

ROFL - I suppose that might be a perk!
kIM

[suchacutie]

If this was the start of her CDing, I'd smile and help her (as she helps me), but we'd have to talk about the name (she chose mine, so it'd only be fair if I chose hers!).

If this had been going on for a while we'd have to talk about trust issues.

If this was to be full time, then we'd have bigger issues that would probably not be reconsilable.

tina

[kimberly_f37]

Go with the flow !!
You are You and she except you for being CD M/F and why can't she be Cd F/m and you except her !!

It be a little strange to have a wife come home and show you all these things that makes a man !!!


Have A Great Day Girls ! :hugs:

Kim

[Leah B]

I doubt most people would be "Just okay" with this scenario. Unless the exchange rate has changed, several hundred quid is a LOT of money. I'd be pissed that there was no discussion. I wouldn't be pissed about her gender exploration, seeing as how I can relate, but the money? The method of discovery? No good.

I'd also try to reconceive myself as at least bisexual, or maybe hetero with one exception (being "him" in man-mode). Failing that, I'd try to accept "him" as a buddy during CD times. Or conveniently enough, I could be his girlfriend, since I've got a second gender anyhow. Hell, that'd be pretty cool actually.

But if I wasn't a CD also, I'd have to settle for one of the former options. I suppose a break-up could occur too, but I have a feeling I'd come around. Mind you, it might take time, and it might be difficult, but I think I would.

[CaptLex]

She told me she had spent several hundred pounds on our credit card, but told me this was because part of her neede to express herself as a man and she wanted to be known as "Sid ". This of course is a scenario, but how would you really react?
Just one question, Stephani, would this be a part time thing or a permanent change? That answer would determine how people would react and whether they'd be able to accept it. BTW, I've never seen chest hair in a bag - where do you buy that? :D

[jennie06]

I would have to be understanding. There may be shock at first just as they go through when we drop the bomb on them but I would get over it. I'm pretty open minded about things, so much so that he or she may as well get ready to get on the wrong end of the mower, change the oil in our cars, and such as that (only fair right). If your gonna be a guy then be a guy all the way, besides that means I can take a break from doing ALL the guy things.

[Dixie]

OOHHHH!! I would be totally fine especiaclly if he was good in bed, :sigh: I hope you don't think any less of me right now:heehee:

[Minerva Morgan]

I would be extremely shocked! Then I would ask her to put the stuff on, and show me; a sort of fashion show. Then I would coo at her and tell her she was soooo butch, flutter my eyelashes and try and seduce her. But . . . that's only because I am what I am, and know what I know now. One thing I do know now is that it would have taken her a great deal of courage for her to take such a step and that she needs my support and understanding.

Love

Minerva

ps

I might try to get her to adopt another name other than Sid. I would also try to get her to mow the lawn.

[Tamara Segunda]

Interesting. Nearly two dozen answers and scarcely more than a passing mention of love -- yours for her, or hers for you. If that ingredient is in the mix, a couple can accommodate themselves to a lot of things; if it's not...well, a pair of panties or a fake mustache can be enough to blow a rickety relationship apart.
.......Tamara Segunda.

[MsJanessa]

Its very simple crossdressing is not real its not a lifestyle (here we go I am gonna get the nutters here), Being TS is a lifestyle CDing is not its a hobby. If she really wanted to dress as a guy from time to time as I do like a woman that would be OK but if she said I want to be Sid and be full time then out the door she would go as I would if I wanted to be full time.

Probably CDing is less of a hobby and more of a compulsion or obsession---playing golf or fishing is a hobby---and although there are obsessive fishermen and golfers, most can stop if they want to---not the same with most cders---just take look at all the posts from those who have "purged" and then started again.

[Michelle 51]

Well in real life a women can cross-dress and not hide like we have to so you probaly would have seen it coming way off .With us it can blind side our wive's or partner's out of the blue .One day they have a man .The next he's standing there in a dress saying hey this is who i am.Sorry i hid it from you but....................... Justabit

[Rachel Morley]

Well as a matter of fact apart for the prosthesis part, my wife Marla GG has an alter ego called "Mark". She's dressed up as "Mark" several times now (just for fun of course) :D ... so it;'s not the same as where you are coming from. She blogged about too (with pictures) if you want a take look click HERE (http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-4wJUrx08erREtjl3CGIxmQ--?cq=1&p=1120)

[Melanie R]

I know at least two couples where the wife is a female to male CD and the husband male to female CD. They seem to exist with few problems in the relationship. In one of the couples the wife dresses as a woman at work but as a man away from the job. One Halloween my wife dressed as a man complete with beard and went with Melanie to a club. The bubble was burst when the waitress told my wife that she did not make a very convincing man. She thought we were two lesbians out for Halloween.

I do find it difficult to understand how many CD's want understanding and acceptance from their wives but if the shoe was on the other foot would have a problem accepting their wives crossdressing.

[Melissa A.]

That prosthetic thingy, does it work?;)

Hugs,

Melissa:happy:

[BobbieCD1944]

...
In the other bag was a prosthetic penis and testicles. .... but how would you really react?

"Hey, Sid, Wanna test out your new toy? How would you like me to be dressed? Shall we dress up and go to the Embers tonight?...."

Ok.. that sounds like too humorous or even sarcastic reply.. but... I'm one of those crossdressing kinky guys, who'd love to have a kinky domme lady SO. Being able to play together in all sorts of scenarios would be a big part of the fun in our relationship.

My big issue, and perhaps a deal breaker, would be similar to what I have read from many of the GGs here.. they want "their man" around.. they didn't sign on to be in a relationship with a girl.. I don't want to CD 24/7 and do not want a full time guy in my life.

heh.. I can imagine it now.. I'm dressed a little frilly, doing the dishes.. and she walks in... toy at the ready.......... ok.. I'll stop now.....

Relationship should be about love, about sharing, and I hope I'd be up to sharing in her fantasies as much as I'd hope she would share in mine.

[EricaCD]

Obviously, this question is not fairly asked of us as we are not exactly a representative audience. So I think the fair way to answer this question is to try--REALLY try--to imagine my feelings about this if I were not a crossdresser.

In that case, no doubt I would be very shocked, concerned. Knowing me I would be desperate for as many facts as I could learn. I would probably insist that she discuss her needs as a cd more than she does with me. That said, I love her and I do not want to spend my life with anyone else. I think it's fair to say that I would have a long path toward acceptance, but hopefully would have the wisdom not to make any rash pronouncements until I had an opportunity to begin down the path of understanding.

As a CD, of course, I would still be surprised and a little concerned. However, so long as she kept herself within the same conceptual bounds that we have mutually settled on for me, I would of course be fine with it.

[Angie G]

Scared s__tless hun :hugs:
Angie

[Kerrie Sifton]

First comment is hairy chest...eeewww, but then i dont like hairy chests, then the thought is what is she attempting to do. At present mine is already in pant suits, and loafers, cotton dress shirt, thus shey is part way there except for the prosthesis and the moustache

Tamaras. response was also appropriate, as at present we need to go back and evaluate what relationship we are in and why do we want to stay and make it work. Any relationship is definitely worth the effort to keep. It depends on the efforts of each to do so.
:2c:

[monalisa]

All is fair in love but it could prove very interesting when she decided to use her penis. Only fair if you want to be a woman and may be something alot of GG's may start doing in the future to see how we react and respond. The high heels are on the other foot.

[Sally2005]

I would react by saying, "that's okay, I have to tell you something about me :D too".

[Carin's Wife GG]

up for some fun????



Louise.

[DawnRodgers]

Halleluyah.:hugs: :hugs:

[TxKimberly]

Well as a matter of fact apart for the prosthesis part, my wife Marla GG has an alter ego called "Mark". She's dressed up as "Mark" several times now (just for fun of course) :D ... so it;'s not the same as where you are coming from. She blogged about too (with pictures) if you want a take look click HERE (http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-4wJUrx08erREtjl3CGIxmQ--?cq=1&p=1120)

Holly Smokes - Marla did a good job there, all the way down to the attitude in the eyes! lol
Kim

[DonnaT]

Don't know if I could get passed the beard and mustache, as I don't like hairy faces, but I would have no problem with the rest, and think I could find ways to make the arrangement quite enjoyable.

[stephanie100]

Fine nio problems in fact mmm what a nice idea. She accept Stephanie So why should i not accept her as a man there are reasons that would NEVER happen.

[Sheila]

My wife came back home the other day and showed me what she had purchased. She had bought a false moustache and beard, hairy chest. In the other bag was a prosthetic penis and testicles. In the third bag she showed me various items of mens clothes. She told me she had spent several hundred pounds on our credit card, but told me this was because part of her neede to express herself as a man and she wanted to be known as "Sid ". This of course is a scenario, but how would you really react?


I feel the question is unaswerable.............. as much as we like to think we can predict our reactons to certain situations in life we never truely know how we would react until we are in the given situation

[Dixie]

OH I KNOW HONEY, THIS IS A FANTASY FULFILLED, several times over and yes she was good HeeHee:heehee:

[stephani oneil]

Hi, thanks for the replies. They were what I expected from a diverse group of people who have themselves probably been marginalised because of who they are. I believe most of us would accept to varying degrees if there was open, receptive communication, mutual respect and hopefully some love and understanding. The most difficult part for me would not be accepting "Sid" because as many have identified role play might be fun, but what I would find difficult is the fact that they had gone out themselves, bought all the goods, spent a good amount of money and not took my feelings into account. This I feel was the real issue for me and I just wondered what other people would identify as the plus and negative implications to this scenario. Thanks Stephani.

[StephanieH]

:D I'd be upset - sounds like she spent too much money. Could've gotten that stuff a lot cheaper at the thrift store or off the internet! :rolleyes:

[featherelizabeth]

wooohoooo!

[Sally24]

I honestly don't know! Especially if you posit that I was a non-CDing straight guy in the marraige. I suspect I could handle it, maybe even have a little fun with it. But I'm not sure I would do as well as my own wife has done with me. You can never be sure about yourself until you're there at ground zero and it's happening to you. Just like to think that my brain can walk the walk as well as talk the talk about accepting and love.

[mskilmer]

I would be perfectly alright with it and ... SEVERAL HUNDRED POUNDS?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I would be SHOCKED, but only because my wife has told me she does not want to dress as a man. If I didn't know that, I think I would accept it after the initial shock. I've spent money on my compulsion, why shouldn't she? as long as she doesn't spend the grocery money.

Kim

[KewTnCurvy GG]

I am soooooooooooo not into boi stuff so that would never happen.

I have always been comfortable in my gender.

Kew

[Bonnie D]

I would be okay with it if everything was as they are now. I've always thought she would make a better husband and me, a better wife. As far as the money, I couldn't complain because I did exactly that. I've spent a lot of money on clothes, etc. while closeted that she never knew about. After that we would have budget to be fair. The prosthetic would be fine since I've been with men before and I've used 'toys'.

Bonnie

[Jammie Lyann]

Ok Im not sure how I would react if I were not tg/cd , how ever that is not the case, if my SO desided to come home one day an tell me this, I would be ok with it , how ever I hate hair so I would not want to see the beard, an hairy chest, about the other thing well , just have to find out :D , my X wife had no problems with it , any how If I was in to the same sex relationships, he would have to be Femme in nature LOL BIG IF
IVEY

[trannie T]

I went to a transgender event recently. I made friends with a lesbian who was wearing a huge handlebar mustache. When I noticed that she had applied some hair to her chest I laughed and told her I'd just spent half an hour shaving mine.

[kwebb]

..don't need a shrink's diagnosis, yesterday suicidal over this and now on top of the world ready to go all femme and bend over for my wife who has now assumed a male persona. She has no problems with it whatsoever as long as she gets the male back afterwards. I need to work on maintaining this mindset.

My wife has no problems strapping it on either. She has alot less guilt that I do and accepts the femme side more than me most of the time. In fact, she is the one who took me to the novelty shop (me sweating and pacing) for the strap-on. Let's be real here. She was completely ready to get it and ready for me to give it up. I should count my blessings and stop worrying about it and beating myself up over this.

But my guilt runs so deep with this I'll be knocking myself for 'bringing her into this sin', as it were.

You see she revealed to me she had some sexuality issues before we were married , and yes, she knew and encouraged my CD too, prior to the walk down the isle. The problem though, is within me, my own lack of self-acceptance. And the church, trying to sadle the both of us with this enormous guilt. I wished I could just let go and enjoy this.

She also described this power she got when she assumed the aggresive position. And she likes it. I'm the one that's got issures with it, prolly cuz' I want out of the closet so much.

It seems like this would be the perfect scenario. But alas, socialization has got me in a tizzy over it. Dang, why can't I let go and just enjoy it?

[Mistybtm]

..don't need a shrink's diagnosis, yesterday suicidal over this and now on top of the world ready to go all femme and bend over for my wife who has now assumed a male persona. She has no problems with it whatsoever as long as she gets the male back afterwards. I need to work on maintaining this mindset.

My wife has no problems strapping it on either. She has alot less guilt that I do and accepts the femme side more than me most of the time. In fact, she is the one who took me to the novelty shop (me sweating and pacing) for the strap-on. Let's be real here. She was completely ready to get it and ready for me to give it up. I should count my blessings and stop worrying about it and beating myself up over this.

But my guilt runs so deep with this I'll be knocking myself for 'bringing her into this sin', as it were.

You see she revealed to me she had some sexuality issues before we were married , and yes, she knew and encouraged my CD too, prior to the walk down the isle. The problem though, is within me, my own lack of self-acceptance. And the church, trying to sadle the both of us with this enormous guilt. I wished I could just let go and enjoy this.

She also described this power she got when she assumed the aggresive position. And she likes it. I'm the one that's got issures with it, prolly cuz' I want out of the closet so much.

It seems like this would be the perfect scenario. But alas, socialization has got me in a tizzy over it. Dang, why can't I let go and just enjoy it?

You have the wife i have been looking for!!!!! you are so lucky to have a wife like that.

[Joanne f]

If you want and expect people to except you as you are and the things that you like doing ,it is only right that you do the same for other people, so i would have to say that i care enough about my wife to support her in what ever she wants to do , after all she has done that for me.







joanne

[kwebb]

Right, I should be jumping for joy instead of singing the blues like I do.

[CaptLex]

It seems like this would be the perfect scenario. But alas, socialization has got me in a tizzy over it. Dang, why can't I let go and just enjoy it?
That's a question only you can answer - maybe not right now, but you may benefit from some counseling. Guilt is the hurdle there - you have to find help to get over it, if you can't do it yourself. But until you get over your guilt, you won't be able to just relax, accept yourself and enjoy your life (at least this part of your life). Seriously . . . get help. You deserve to be happy. Good luck.

[Rebecca_Annette]

my partner's second husband was gay, her first husband was an a-hole, she's had three same-sex (lesbian) relationships, she still regards herself as bi-sexual, I cross-dress.

I don't think I'm in any position to offer any criticism to what anyone chooses to do....

[rose382832]

my SO has supported me through my change why should i not support her through hers.(plus we would make a nice couple when we go OUT.

[Amanduhrob]

I'd say..."Goose, ya big stud!!! Take me to bed, or lose me forever."


Then I'd say, "well, if I have to be clean shaven, so you you....lose the stache."