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View Full Version : Cding vs transgender....



JustmeBear
06-01-2004, 02:35 PM
Over the last month I have learned so much about cding..I have also come to learn alot about transgender...

So I was curious....and I feel that being that there is a difference..I think since they have a forum for male to female cding here and they have a forum for female to male forum that they should also have a forum for transsexuals....

Jenny-B I hope you do not mind me "quoting you"

But she brought up a good point

"We are crossdressers and find it interesting to sit on the fence and every once in a while jump over to see
what it is like on the other side. It is easy to go back if things get
uncomfortable and resume our "normal" gender roles"
Which I feel is a great point!!!!!!!!
Which also brings me to say....My "girlfriend" can not do that....you know being that she lives her life as a woman.....

I might be way off on this but I figured it couldn't hurt to ask for a Transgender Forum

I have suggested this sight to my girlfriend and she wont visit and yeah it could mainly be because of it being a cding forum "only"
So maybe get a few opinions and see how everone feels about this

Erica
06-01-2004, 02:43 PM
Well I think its a good idea, after all some of us might end up being transgendered at some point, I know ive thaught allot about a sex change. Then again I can't really see there being too much difference in the forums. I mean most of us already see ourselves as girls what real difference does it make if we have the surgery to back it up or not as long as we are understanding accepting and suportive of one another right? And by al means I think we should encourage transgnderd people, infact any people who are interested in the female way of life to join the site.

What do the rest of you girls think

JustmeBear
06-01-2004, 02:58 PM
Erica

I can understand that most of us think of ourselves as girls..
Well let me ask all of you...
Do any of you girls..live your life as a woman 24/7-365?

Does everyone know that you do this? ( friends, family.co workers, neighbors etc????

My girlfriend lives her life as a woman..she goes to work as a woman,,,she goes shopping as a woman....her neighbors know her parents know..her friends know....and so forth.....

As with me....my girlfriend knows and a few of my family memebers know...My neighbors don't have a clue..my co-workers could never guess ....

Since I was little I have always thought if only I was a boy..then there have been points in my life as an adult..where I have cought myself saying..If only I was a man....
I have wrestled with the thought of having a sex change..I do not know if I would ever,,but the thought has always been there...

But again..there should be a place for tg as well as cd

Julie
06-01-2004, 03:04 PM
By my personal definition I say all crossdressers are transgendered but not all transgendered persons are crossdressers. I see transgendered as anyone who has a mind body conflict of gender. I could be a transsexual or a crossdresser. Since I've never been clinically diagnosed I can't say which I am. There have been plenty of times I wished I could become female. In fact there are long terms in my life when I was totally devastated I never would. What does that make me? It doesn't matter.

Mel, your gf is one of us no matter what her viewpoint. There are varying degrees of crossdressers here from fetishistic CDs to transsexual CDs but we all share a common bond in that we have crossed the gender lines and go against the grain of society's myopic view on what a male can and can't do.

Categorizing us into smaller and smaller groups by using more specific guidelines does nothing to advance our cause. That cause is to lift the transgender stigma we presently live under. Your gf can help by becoming active in support of that.

Julie

Erica
06-01-2004, 03:12 PM
oh I agree whole heartedly, I wwas only trying to say that there doesn't necissarily need to be a seperate forum for transgendered people does there? coudn't we just expand what we all ready have a little to compensate for the transgendered community? The only way that I am different from a transgendered person is that I don't have the courage yet to ste out of my comfort zone and become a woman yet because there is no going back and I a scared thatpeople will not accept it. I am quite envious of transgendered people that way. maybe we could create a combined forum for CD'S and transgendered people, what does your girlfriend think? Does she only want to tak to other transgendered of is she interested in talking to the more undecided or scared of us as well?
I think if the site could be adapted to include more transgendered people it could also be benificial to the rest of us I know I'd love to talk to some people who have already been through that as I am seriously considering hormone threapy or maybe even a full sex change myself.

Erica
06-01-2004, 03:18 PM
Julie once again youve hit the nail on the head. All us girls are lucky to have access to your wisdom.

newfemale
06-01-2004, 03:55 PM
Well, I do live as a girl 24/7 365, and only my friends and family know, everyone else thinks I am female! :) I go to bed as a female, and wake up as a female. I haven't been a man for 4 years!

CDKathy
06-01-2004, 04:56 PM
I believe what Julie is saying is that this forum is already open to the entire spectrum of the transgender community. And the post from newfemale is evidence that we already have at least one and probably more transsexuals participating.

Please don't get confused by the terminology. We are ALL transgendered. And we are ALL discriminated against by society in general. But, as Julie pointed out, there are varying degrees of being transgendered from the fetishistic CD at one end of the scale to the transsexual at the other. Most of us here are somewhere in between those two.

I also agree with Julie that instead of labeling and classifying into smaller and smaller groups, we all need to work together to understand the Who, What and Why of our personalities. Only together do we have any hope of changing society's view of our lifestyle.

I applaud Mel's girlfriend for her conviction that she is doing what is right for HER life. Like Julie, I too have pondered the question of whether I should go for the complete change. I am now convinced that would be wrong for me. What I need to do is to work on incorporating the best traits of my female personality with the best traits of my male personality so that both sides can become one and live as one. But to do that will require society to change its view of what it is to be MALE as well as what it means to be FEMALE. The current "rules of society" are obsolete in the 21st century and I would like to live to see them change.

For that to happen, we need everybody's viewpoint. We need everyone's help.

Mel, I am convinced that I would derive tremendous benefit from hearing your girlfriend's viewpoint. I'm sure many others here would agree.

But the final decision to join us is her's to make and I will respect that decision whatever it may be.

JustmeBear
06-01-2004, 07:32 PM
Well see that's what I try to tell her.....
I have learned so much from this place it is amazing..it has made me want to explore myself even more as a man....

I do not consider myself tg because I do not do it all the time..however my girlfriend says that I am...and she does because I have had a few things done..IE breast reduction.....

But I married someone that wasn't accepting of me and I hide it for along time and just recently again have started....and I love it and I am glad I have found this forum!!!!

eleventhdr
06-01-2004, 10:30 PM
Yes i do know and understand I myself think about it a lot sometimes becoming a real girl sure would be very different but nothing i do not think i could not handel really. Aa lot of us are confused on this issue really and for now are content to just be cd's or dress as often as we can and be girls then I just wish sometimes that i had been born female as i have in many more past lives then male oh well this will come to pass yet aain I can hardly wait for those times once agai. But for now until i might make a decision on this i will be male cd transgenerd as much as i can for now Thank's Jay Suzy Ann!.

Stelli
06-01-2004, 11:38 PM
Just an opinion.

(Cross) Dressing is personal expression. The reasons may be various from sexual excitement to the transsexual needs but also for some other needs (eg acting, art social etc.). Cross gendering is mind process of having opposite gender needs. Transsexual is body process of having sexualy bound needs. In this light I can see that cross dressing is applying archetypes of dressing to the particular needs of the personal expression. The reason is purely subjective.

I find my dressing fitting multiple purpose in my life that touch any of definitions. I feel sometimes unconformtable as male. Sometimes I feel unconformtable as female. Sometimes I feel conformtable as either. Sometimes I feel I have no sex at all. Sometimes I do it for visual pleasure. Sometimes for emotional pleasure. Sometimes it is purely understanding what gender role I wish to be. For the sexual pleasure - of course too. Would I change sex? Possibly not, not because I would not wish to change it, but because I find it too risky and too tedious and dressing fits the need. And I do not feel myself to be either proper male or proper female so changing for the sake of being of other sex is not enough of a reason to me. But I understand deeply when someone feels inapropriate in his/her body. I do feel inappropriate in my body sometimes. I understand that this may go as far as wanting to be other sex to the point that it is not worth living life if that is not fulfilled. Luckily in pas t 30-40 years medical technology made it possible. It is still requiring quite of resources to do it but it can be done.

We all here at different stages somewhere there. We all have experience of not being understood enough in our lives. So what the heck, we share our needs and understandings here. And being forgiving to selves to be what we want to be we are forgiving to all of us for being whatever you desire to be.

Justmebear, welcome again here. We love you. Be with us!

Gabrielle
06-02-2004, 04:43 PM
Well, I had wanted to post here, but I was struggling on what I wated to say. So I held off. But coming back here and reading Stelli's post, I must say that she expressed my thoughts and then some.

You certainly have a way with words Stelli. Thanks!