Is Crossdressing An Addiction?

[Cindi Johnson]

Having recently read two good books about addiction, William Moyer’s “Broken” and James Frey’s “A Million Little Pieces”, I’ve noticed many parallels between my crossdressing and chemical addiction. For example:
--like an addict. I’ve often felt overwhelmed by a desire to CD;
--like an addict, some of my greatest highs (exhilarations) and lowest lows (depressions) have been associated with CD;
--like an addict, I often have vivid dreams involving CD;
--like an addict, I’ve spent large sums on CD, for clothes, shoes, wigs, some laser & electrolysis, a few nips and tucks, and sometimes even for girl-drugs purchased from online UK pharmacies;
--as with addiction, CD has negatively affected my career, mostly via opportunities not pursued because CD would, if discovered, have cause major problems;
--addiction affects marriage, and similarly, CD weighed heavily upon my marriage. At times my wife had difficulty in seeing me as a person rather than a CD;
--I’ve been single now for a decade, as CD foils my chance of creating a new life with a new love. After all, what woman wants “damaged goods”? In a similar manner, addicts have difficulty forming close relationships;
--like many addicts, I’ve attempted to use writing as a means of treating my CD, posting CD stories to Fictionmania and Nifty.

So am I an addict? Is there a cure? What are your thoughts?

After I post this to the message board, I’ll slip into my jean skirt and my pale lavender top, select a cute pair of shoes to wear, carefully apply eyeliner, mascara and lipstick, and then, after putting large hoop earrings through my pierced ears and a bracelet on each wrist, I (now a near-female) will sling my purse-strap over my shoulder and head out the door and into the world. First I’ll stop in Dallas at a Starbucks to buy coffee and pastry and, as always, my heart will skip a beat when the barrista addresses me as “ma’am”. I’ll sit there and enjoy my coffee as I read the newspaper, my legs carefully crossed in feminine fashion. Next, a trip to the supermarket to stock up on groceries. Maybe, before heading home, I’ll stop by Ross and look for the perfect skirt. We’ll see.

Yes indeed, I suspect I’m an addict!

[battybattybats]

You know, I find I could give almost the same answers for most of those replacing drawing for crossdressing.. except the effect on jobs and relationships which is, I suspect, because art is generally considered socially acceptable.

Neither art nor crossdressing is doing any harm to my pancreas, veins, lungs or sinuses though.

[DonnaT]

Can't you say the same thing about it being a compulsion?

I would say it's more like a compulsive disorder than an addiction. Because we, many of us anyway, were "hooked" the very first time we CDed. Addicts don't usually get hooked until they've tried something several times.

But, for some, it could very well be an addiction.

As for it being a compulsive disorder, we do not know for sure.

[Ermintrude]

An interesting question.

I'm addicted to tobacco (unfortunately). One thing I've noticed about this is that, generally speaking, I don't smoke because it makes me feel good, I do it to stop feeling bad. :sad:

I've never been addicted to anything else, though - so I don't know if other addictions are the same.

[marie354]

I don't consider it a disorder at all. I used to though, but after reading more about it here and other places on the 'net, I've discovered that I'm no more abnormal than anyone else.

Everyone has their passions.
Whether it be how they dress or their favorite place to ride the waves. Whether you like cabin cruises or a simple fishing trip.
Whether you like long elegant gowns or the 'hot' look.
It makes no difference who you are, or where you are. People are people.

I do like CDing more & more, it seems, as time passes, and I'm getting better at it as well.

I have have fought addiction back in the mid-eighties and have never compared my cross-dressing to addiction. They, IMO, are just not the same.
:hugs:

[Kate Simmons]

Addiction? Not in my book, Hon. A form of expression most assuredly. An addiction is something you like very much and sometimes have no control over. Basically, it controls you, you do not control it. I think it's a question each one of us has to ask ourselves and answer though as it's not the same for everyone. I think most of us here have at least moderate if not total control over it. If not, it's something to think about, especially as to what extent it affects our friendships and relationships.:happy:

[Eva Diva]

Good question. To answer it, you need to know what defines addiction. In standard addictions, like alcohol or tobacco, there is no particular pull to the substance until you start using it and pass a threshold of use. Then, the substance itself alters the brain, and you need to continue using it to prevent negative feelings are physical responses.
Crossdressing seems to be different from that model in a very important way. Most - or many - crossdressers seem to be drawn to female clothes at a very early age. Many posts here will support me there. In those cases, addiction doesn't really fit. No one dreams of drinking alcohol at seven years old.
The purging phenomenon that gets talked so much here seems to describe addictive behavior, but I think compulsion fits better than addiction. And the source of that compulsion is another matter entirely.

[Karren H]

No.... It's a sport..... or a hobby.... or a life style choice.... and i can quit any time I want to.... I just don't want to!!!

Karren

[Staci G]

drugs in 1979, I have never stopped crossdressing that long..Nor do I have any lingering desire to do any kind of drugs including smoking which I quit in Aug of 2005.. I have purged like many have done but it always comes back stronger than ever. I dont think it is an addiction more like an addition.

I have told myself many times I can quit anytime I want to, but Staci doesn't believe me..

[Minerva Morgan]

I think that the concept of addictive behaviour is certainly valid. Bringing this point up is extremely valuable as it requires us to evaluate our actions more critically in that light. In some posts, for example, I have seen possibilities of estrangement with SO's due to insistence and disregard for the SO's emotional well-being. There is also the question of spending too much money. As an addiction, crossdressing cannot be said to be entirely harmless.
As for the term, 'compulsive disorder', I believe crossdressing is compulsive, but need not be a disorder. By facing the possibility that it is addictive (and Cindi's comparison certainly indicates it can be) one can exercise prudence and restraint with a view to avoiding the harmful aspects. Consideration should also be given to whether one has other addictive traits; in other words, has an addiction-prone personality.
I believe it is generally conceded that crossdressing usually has no cure. This is true of other addictions. If, for example, one is an alchoholic, they are an achoholic for life regardless of the last time they took a drink. On the other hand, it is quite alright to crossdress and drive; just watch which pumps you are wearing and apply the make-up at home, not in the car.

Love

Minerva

[Carin]

Way to go Cindi. Ask all the right questions, then go shopping. :D

The concept of "Disorder" is an evolving one. The DSM originally classified Homosexuality as a disorder because it met those same criteria. "Socially disruptive" is as much a reflection on social evolution as it is a reflection on ones personal traits.

Based on the divorce statistics, Love and the Institution of Marriage could be classified as a disorder in today's society.

Long live the evolution! We shall fight until the last tube of lipstick is set free. :battingeyelashes:

[Melissa A.]

...And here I thought it was just a very expensive hobby. Ya mean that feeling in the pit of my stomach when I think about being Melissa isn't just passionate excitement for my hobby??

Hugs,

Melissa:happy:

[Eva Diva]

I think it was back in the Sixties, there was an anti-smoking commercial on television. It was an animated cartoon of a pair of hands, one holding a cigarette, and an ashtray on a table. The voice says "I'm not an addict, I can quit any time I want to". To prove the point, the hand puts the cigarette down into the ashtray. The voice says "See?"

About three seconds later, the hand picks up the cigarette again. :eek:


Really, I can quit any time I want to. :D


I think the more relevant question is "Is crossdressing a compulsive behavior?" and if it is, isn't that a bad thing by definition?

[Kate Simmons]

Ergo my reason for finding out my motivation. Even though some say they don't care and it's just who they are, I want more and want to know why. I did find out BTW in case anyone is interested.:happy:

[Missy]

ok if it is an addiction there should be a 12 step program for it
I am powerless over crossdressing

Missy

[Dixie]

whocares it's fun!!!!:heehee:

[NewBetty]

Ergo my reason for finding out my motivation. Even though some say they don't care and it's just who they are, I want more and want to know why. I did find out BTW in case anyone is interested.:happy:

OK, sweetie...I'm interested; tell tell!

[charlie-50]

Im shure theres any number of chemicals being released into the body by our brains that make cding feel good to us. as to what those are we need someone with more smarts and degrees than what i have...crossdressing an addiction man i shure hope so, cuz i want more...cp...:D

[SandyR]

Na.....Its just a part of me, and "hey its fun!".....

SandyR

[featherelizabeth]

an addiction I cannot feed enough with only clothing.......



cheers, dears.....
f.

[Deanna2]

Saying you are a CDer means that you wear women's clothes. I don't wear women's clothes - I wear my clothes which just happen to be of a femme style.

I do wear some femme gear all the time, but I don't think I'm addicted.

[Melinda G]

It's kinda like the mob. Nobody gets out!:D

[Lisa Golightly]

Depends why you do it. Speaking for myself... I'm just a bit of a girl.

[battybattybats]

Is breathing an addiction? Is love a compulsion?

Where can the line be drawn? I could stop eating forever, but is that a good idea? Is food an addiction? Firstly why are addictions bad?

Well some are bad because they do harm. I do not believe crossdressing causes harm, sure some people feel emotionally upset or hurt by it but I do not believe they are harmed by it. On the other hand being denied the freedom to CD is I believe to be harmed. the two are not equal. Just as a man who found that his son was gay or his wife wanted her own job would feel upset, slighted or hurt he was/is not harmed but was he to enforce heterosexuality on the son or keep the wife barefoot and pregnant at the kitchen sink those people would most assuredly be harmed.

Are there any sociologists or psychologists who think it's an addiction? And are they free of bias? I'm not sure that it's the sort of thing unqualified people can determine for absolute certain. Still it doesn't seem to me it's an addiction or a compulsion. I think it's a natural drive. That makes a big difference for me.

[Lisa Golightly]

Are there any sociologists or psychologists who think it's an addiction? And are they free of bias?

They're addicted to nailing people into category boxes ;)

[kerrianna]

CDng an addiction?

No...this forum is though. :D

[Sheri 4242]

Where can the line be drawn?

Are there any sociologists or psychologists who think it's an addiction? And are they free of bias? I'm not sure that it's the sort of thing unqualified people can determine for absolute certain. Still it doesn't seem to me it's an addiction or a compulsion. I think it's a natural drive. That makes a big difference for me.

Wow!!! Very well said!!! The unbiased data is increasingly supportive that it is pysiological/genetical. Therefore, you cannot draw a line and say hey, at this point it is an addiction, or at this it is an habituation, or at this it is a compulsion.


Depends why you do it. Speaking for myself... I'm just a bit of a girl.

Sandy R says it best (below) -- it is, for most, a part of us and does not qualify as an addiction, habituation, or compulsion!!! "I'm just a bit of a girl," is one way of saying what many feel: we have an undeniable feminine side to our very being!!!


Na.....Its just a part of me . . .

SandyR


Im shure theres any number of chemicals being released into the body by our brains that make cding feel good to us.

Actually, it seems it may start it our mother's womb during the period known as the hormone bath. This theory, long subscribed to by a number of us, is now "under the microscope" (no pun intended), as MRIs of the brain are presenting some impressive supportive evidence!!!


Way to go Cindi. Ask all the right questions, then go shopping. :D

The concept of "Disorder" is an evolving one. The DSM originally classified Homosexuality as a disorder because it met those same criteria. "Socially disruptive" is as much a reflection on social evolution as it is a reflection on ones personal traits.

Long live the evolution! We shall fight until the last tube of lipstick is set free.

Carin: we (you and Louise, and Val and me) are going to have to get together (and it is really too bad Las Vegas doesn't seem possible at this point in time)!!! Anyway, I truly love the way you and Louise can take a serious point, answer it succinctly, then make us all laugh!!! "Fight until the last tube of lipstick is set free." I tried to supress a good chuckle, but couldn't -- and in the process, woke Val up (who had just fallen asleep, so she wan't nearly as amused as I was. Oh well . . .

[Minerva Morgan]

I agree. battybattybats' concept of, 'natural drive' is insightful. Pure genius. One thing I find very feminine in these postings is an apparently high degree of intelligence. Seems like a topic for a thesis, 'The Degree of Feminity in Intelligent Males.'
I still feel, at least for me, that there is still a danger of compulsive behaviour and immoderation; and the necessity to seek a balance.
And Lisa, judging from your photo, you are not, " . . . just a bit of a girl", but very much a gorgeous woman. I realize I am taking the phrase out of context, but I am awed by (and envious of) your appearance.

Love

Minerva

[susie evans]

i'am like karren and besides i enjoy it to much to quit and i look much better as women :heehee:

susie

[Melanie R]

perfect skirt.

Yes indeed, I suspect I’m an addict!

Are you an addict. No. You are expressing your inner femininity through the feminine clothing you wear and enjoy. Your crossdressing only becomes a problem when you neglect the other important areas of your life and those significant persons in your life.

[Rikkicn]

Is a new born bird, still in the shell, addicted to the need to peek and peek and get out of that shell.? Or is nature directing and guiding and showing the little bird the way so that it can fulfill it’s life’s purpose?

I have come to believe that my gender journey is a spiritual path. From my readings of the ancient mystics many of the steps for spiritual attainment are identical to those that I and many of us have and are going through.

It seems like gender variant people have been part of traditional cultures all over the world. They are most often at the center of their communities rituals lives and honored and esteemed.

We are not a pathology. Coming out is not a confession.

I'm not a Christian but I consider Jesus as one of my spiritual guides.

This is from the Gospel of St. Thomas

Jesus said to them, "And when you make the inner like the outer and
the outer like the inner,

and the upper like the lower, and when you make male and female into
a single one,

so that the male will not be male nor the female be female,

when you make eyes in place of an eye, a hand in place of a hand, a
foot in place of a foot,

an image in place of an image, then you will enter [the Holy Realms]."

Gospel of Thomas

Love, Love, Love

[Lisa Golightly]

And Lisa, judging from your photo, you are not, " . . . just a bit of a girl", but very much a gorgeous woman. I realize I am taking the phrase out of context, but I am awed by (and envious of) your appearance.

Awwwwwwww bless... Thank you :)

[Sheri 4242]

"(B)attybattybats' concept of, 'natural drive' is insightful. Pure genius. One thing I find very feminine in these postings is an apparently high degree of intelligence. Seems like a topic for a thesis, 'The Degree of Feminity in Intelligent Males.'"

Minerva,

There have been a number of studies that have shown a very high dgree of intelligence in the overwhelming majority of the TG/TS/TV community!

Interestingly: the same is true of the BDSM community!

So, you hit the nail squarely on the head with your observation!

(((P.S. BTW, we all need to seek balance in our lives in everything we do -- compulsive behaviour in CDing is, IMHO, no different than compulsions in other areas of life; common sense and critical thinking need to be applied for our own well-being!!! BTW again, you are absolutely right about Lisa! Gorgeous is an understatement!)))

[CammyT]

I dont think it is an addiction more like an addition.

I have told myself many times I can quit anytime I want to, but Staci doesn't believe me..


Aloha,
I'm with Staci, for me it's an addition, or to be more precise it's a completion to who I really am. The softer side of Sears. :heehee: . I can use a sewing machine, hand stitch a hem, hand sew buttons. Then again, I also weld, use a paint gun and do engine work. Okay, so I also do andro stuff like the laundry, iron, cook, wash dishes and vaccum.

[Carin's Wife GG]

how about adopting any kid that happens to need a family? Addiction is the term used when an activity disrupts your every day life and relationships. I don't see CDing in that light. I do know that there are a few therapists out there who do though.

I think there CAN be a compulisiive nature to CDing. I think this comes from the feeling of desperation when society and/or an SO trys to put boundries around the practice (asbestos panties firmly in place for that one!!). I know *I* was guilty of trying to control Carin. Obviously it backfired, lol. She is and always will be Carin in some form or another. It was *my* issue arounf control that was the issue not the CDing. Pity it took me so long to figure it out.

PS. Adopting any kid that needs a home is bloody hard work!



Louise.

[JacquiUKTV]

This is from the Gospel of St. Thomas

Jesus said to them, "And when you make the inner like the outer and
the outer like the inner,

and the upper like the lower, and when you make male and female into
a single one,

so that the male will not be male nor the female be female,

when you make eyes in place of an eye, a hand in place of a hand, a
foot in place of a foot,

an image in place of an image, then you will enter [the Holy Realms]."

Gospel of Thomas

Love, Love, Love

Thank you Rikkicn for reminding me where that quote came from :love: J.

[Kenix]

I don't like the term "addiction" because it sounds negative.

[battybattybats]

Wow!
I'm away for a few days and people say the nicest things about me when I'm gone.

A question though, is transgenderism more common among the more intelligent or is it just the more intelligent who find their way here? There may be plenty less gifted girls out there who are suffering because they can't adequetly hide a stash or discover the knowledge needed to facilitate coming out and so end up fully repressed. I have read reports that confirmed the long held belief that many homophobes were repressed homosexuals so this repression could be the cause of a lot of social problems.

I think the only way to discover the truth would be for a concferted rights and public education campain to give many the freedom to come out and the knowledge to know it's not wrong to feel and act this way.

[Victoria_Tu]

If it is perhaps we should start a meeting. With steps
1. I am powerless over my hemline and i have nothing to wear.
2. Frumpy clothes make me insane.
3. I turned my wife over to Maceys.
4. I checked my closet to make sure all the dresses Fit.
5. I admitted to myself im no longer a size 4.
6. Asked the wig lady to pick.
7. Got my ears pierced.
8. Made a list of where to go.
9. Got dolled up and went out and had a blast.
10. Continued to be as pretty as possible.
11. Got some nice forms to fill out what was missing both top and bottom.
12. Helped other CDs accept themselves.
Well these need work but you get the idea.

[deniedtoo]

Odd that this thread became popular again tonight. I have been in non-cd mode all this week. I noticed tonight that this is the 5th night in a row that i'm not cding, but still here for the 5rh night in a row jumping from forum to forum.

Is it the pleasant company? Or am I addicted to this lifestyle?

No harm, no foul. Continuing on without another thought.. thanks for the insight all.

:hugs: :love:

Denied

PS Great 12 step program Victoria. I think I'll start on step 1 tomorrow (although step 5 is in DIRE need!)

[dl_pink_pink]

Addiction is a harsh word

In the mind of a psychiatrist you can be addicted to "pot, cocaine, alcohol, gambling, sex, masturbation, internet, msn, chatting, gum and I guess dressing like the opposite sex"

If your body gets enjoyment and pleasure out of crossdressing then of course, indulge.
It's healthy and loving

[TxKimberly]

I could quit. If I wanted to. I'm sure I could. Maybe. I think . . .
DOH! OK, OK, I'm addicted! Is there a 12 step program?
Kim

[Dixie]

If crossdressing is wrong I don't wanna be right, wait there is a song in there somewhere hehehe, if it is an addiction I don't want the cure!

[Bianca T-Girl]

They're addicted to nailing people into category boxes ;)

Yes, they need a label for everything. They state that an obsessional- compulsive disorder is a repetitive voluntary action carried out on a regular basis. If it is not carried out, the person suffers so much stress from not doing so.

Addiction, compulsion or obsession - As long as you have clean panties on, you're OK!

Bianca.

[Mr. Michelle]

i stopped doing it for years outta guilt. i can quit if i want to, i just don't want to.

then again, i guess that's what addicts typically say, isn't it? lol.

[Valerie]

Having recently read two good books about addiction, William Moyer’s “Broken” and James Frey’s “A Million Little Pieces”, I’ve noticed many parallels between my work and chemical addiction. For example:
--like an addict. I’ve often felt overwhelmed by a desire to work;
--like an addict, some of my greatest highs (exhilarations) and lowest lows (depressions) have been associated with my work;
--like an addict, I often have vivid dreams involving my work;
--like an addict, I’ve spent large sums on my work, for books, travel, clothes;
--addiction affects marriage, and similarly, work weighed heavily upon my marriage. At times my wife had difficulty in seeing me as a person rather than a person devoted to my profession;

So am I an addict? Is there a cure? What are your thoughts?


I have replaced CD by work, but I could have used stamp collecting, playing chess, or many other activities. We are not a word not a label. All activities can become addictive, but they can also just be an enjoyable or necessary part of living a good life. Cheers,

Valerie

[melissacd]

Yes a good one!

[crusadergirl]

Its not an addiction for me its just something i like doing. It has no control over me. Nothing in my life will ever take over what i want to do.

[Cheree]

If crossdressing is an addiction, may they never develope a cure!!! HOOKED!!!:2c:

[Angie G]

Yes it is of witch for one me I am glad is there a cure if so I don't want it thank you I love Angie and I think my wife is starting to also :hugs:
Angie

[Marcie Sexton]

I would suppose that according too how you define addiction, as to if you consider yourself an addict...
For me, there is a time and place for every thing including my dressing...It has taken away nothing from my family...
For me it an escape into the world I belong...an escape to the real me...

[Ruth]

I think addiction in the pathological sense refers to an activity which dominates your life such that everything else revolves around satisfying the demands of this activity; and you suffer physical withdrawal symptoms if you cannot get your regular fix.
So, I can't speak for anyone else but CDing doesn't take me over in that way. It's great and I love doing it, I like to do it often, but I also have a life apart from it.

[Fab Karen]

Way to go Cindi. Ask all the right questions, then go shopping. :D

The concept of "Disorder" is an evolving one. The DSM originally classified Homosexuality as a disorder because it met those same criteria. "Socially disruptive" is as much a reflection on social evolution as it is a reflection on ones personal traits.

Based on the divorce statistics, Love and the Institution of Marriage could be classified as a disorder in today's society.

Long live the evolution! We shall fight until the last tube of lipstick is set free. :battingeyelashes:

Yep, once upon a time, a woman wearing pants would've been "socially disruptive" but now society considers that thinking was silly.

To paraphrase a Helen Reddy song:
I am T-girl hear me roar
in numbers too big to ignore
& we know too much to go back now :D

[Leah B]

Almost anything can be an addiction, including crossdressing. And although crossdressing CAN be an addiction, that does not mean that it MUST be.

[Dixie]

"I've said it before, and I'll say it again. There's no way, no way that you could come from my......." OOPs that's smokey and the bandit II. I mean I said it before and I'll say it again who cares it's FUN, if you over anaylsis the fun it ceases to be. ...fun that is.

[Leah B]

Surely Dixie though, you must agree that potential harm should restrict fun? Overspending and taking crazy risks are bad no matter how benign or fun an activity normally is.

[Dixie]

I see your point Leah, I do not think I am expressing mine to well, let me try again. I don't think it should go unchecked, I just think that in an effort to understand we tend to OVER analysis things a bit, and then it loses all fun. Having a hard time putting into words what I want to say, does it make sense, do you understand what I am trying to say? Hugs and Kisses Dixie

[Leah B]

I gotcha Dixie. Of course, I'm the kinda guy who likes to overanalyze things, but I'm weird like that :)

[Dixie]

We are all the same in that we are different. If we were literelly the same life would be very boring and CDs would not exists unless it was common and if it is that common than it's not that fun.
:hugs: Dixie

[Cindi Johnson]

I agree that crossdressing is fun, but addicts likely feel the same about their demons, at least some of the time. For me, CD is best described as satisfying rather than fun.

I do enjoy going out dressed, enough to do it almost daily. Were it not for the fact that I live with my son, I'd do it even more.

To me, CD is not just a hobby (as some crossdressers have described it). I have a strong urge to crossdress and to assume a more female role. I've never been able to resist the urge for any lengthy period. In that sense, I'm addicted to it.

Once, when my CD first came to the attention of my spouse, I told her that "if there were a pill which could make my CD urges disappear forever, I'd take it". But to be honest, I wouldn't have taken such a pill then, nor would I now.

CD is definitely a mixed bag, but as I tried to convey in my original post, it fulfills me. I'll always be transgendered. And actually, over time I've become rather proud of it.

Cindi

[Leslie Foxx]

--I’ve been single now for a decade, as CD foils my chance of creating a new life with a new love. After all, what woman wants “damaged goods”?

I thought the same thing, having been divorced a few years now. I wasn't even looking, but I recently found love with a wonderful TS woman and I've never been happier.:hugs:

Never say never, love has a way of finding you, often when and where you least expect it.