Gender Confusion: Disorder, Syndrome, or Overvalued Idea?

[janedoe311]

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/sexderogatis/69/gender-confusion-disorder-syndrome-or-overvalued-idea

So what do you think. GID a problem being over diagnosed, like ADD? Or is it just doctors not really knowing what it is or what to do with it, or maybe both? (There is lots of money in treating GID, ADD etc. some believe that is influencing doctors, not to mention an “easy way out for them.)

I will admit I am not happy with my life but am not under the fallacy that if I was a woman it would be or would have been better. If anything probably worse! A Prince is not going to take me away and “live happily ever after“!

But I do see the persons like me not happy with their life and having “The grass is greener on the other side of the fence” syndrome. That becoming women would make their life better.

This is why the good professionals tell you go slowly and to wait for GRS.
So do you think some GID can be “cured” or controlled by counseling, nutrition, male hormones?

After all it is a brain "dysfunction", maybe. I have depression and anxiety. It can be controlled by supplements that balance the brain chemistry so why not supplements or hormones, or drugs to treat GID?
But mostly a CDer does not what to be a women for real. It is a hobby even though some do not see it that way. (If you see it as a life style and not a hobby then you are not a CD'er but TG, as I see it).

I am sure many, if not most will disagree with me, but this site is for venting and opinions so think about that before you start raving and get nasty with me.

My personal opinion has been said, I will repeat it after the critiques on this. Hopefully they will not burn the forum!

FYI: I searched "cure for gender confusion" and this was on of the sites.
And again this is a crossdressers site not a TG site. There is a bit of "crossing” over between the two, (pardon the pun).

[Emily Ann Brown]

True there are those professionals that are earning their keep by "treating" us girls. But gender "confusion" is real....trust me I know.

Last number I heard was 50,000 women now in the U.S. started life as males. That still is a small number percentagewise considering the total male population.

Personally, I can deal with my issue as long as I can flip genders, when my need gets too strong, and feed Em's soul for a while. Another sister was telling me about studies showing HRT treatments restoring a TG's mental control and mood swings. So far I don't think I am THAT crazy (ex wife thinks otherwise). I remember what I heard once as "when" you start considering SRS......when it becomes a life-or-death issue for the individual's mental state.

Emily Ann

[janedoe311]

True there are those professionals that are earning their keep by "treating" us girls. But gender "confusion" is real....trust me I know.

Last number I heard was 50,000 women now in the U.S. started life as males. That still is a small number percentagewise considering the total male population.

Personally, I can deal with my issue as long as I can flip genders, when my need gets too strong, and feed Em's soul for a while. Another sister was telling me about studies showing HRT treatments restoring a TG's mental control and mood swings. So far I don't think I am THAT crazy (ex wife thinks otherwise).

Emily Ann

Been depressed alot lately and the GID gets worse when depressed. Just need to vent I guess.

[AmberTG]

Just a thought about hormone treatments. Before I started any kind of HRT, about a year before, I think, I had a testosterone test done to see if that might be part of the reason for my low libido. The test cam back with me at 802, at the top of the normal amount for a man of my age, 800 is more common in younger men and it naturally falls with aging, usually.
Adding more T to that probably would only have made more aggressive and crankier than I already was.
Adding 2mg of 17b estradiol daily over the last 7 weeks has made a big difference in my attitude towards myself. I've been on a low dose of an anti-depressant for almost a year now and it really helped with the mood swings and depression, suicidal thoughts, etc, but it never made me comfortable with myself. I can really see that when I go back through my journal over the past year.
I guess what I'm saying here is that adding more T to my already high level probably would have been a disaster for me, but adding a small dose of estrogen, along with spiro to block the T, has made a real positive difference in my life. Of course, that's just my own experience, I'm sure it could be different for someone else.
I remember reading, on this forum, I think, about a guy who was put on a small dose of estrogen, and it made his life better enough that he no longer had the craving for cross-dressing. I don't remember what the dose was or anything like that. Of course, there are sexual side effects to that program, probably lower libido at the least. If you like having sex, don't try this at home, kids!

[AmberTG]

Janedoe, depression is actually a common side effect of GID, it's kinda a vicious circle isn't it?

[Just Plain Kay]

I remember reading, on this forum, I think, about a guy who was put on a small dose of estrogen, and it made his life better enough that he no longer had the craving for cross-dressing. I don't remember what the dose was or anything like that. Of course, there are sexual side effects to that program, probably lower libido at the least. If you like having sex, don't try this at home, kids!

I think I may be the person you are describing.

The daily dosage is 2mg sublingually, and it both calms the raging GID and does the work of the Celexa I was taking for periodic mild depression. I also ingest 100mg of spironolactone once a day.

Lower libido may be a side effect, but my testosterone level was very low to start with. And "performance" has never appealed to me. I'm much closer to female in my approach to physical sex.

[Maggie Kay]

It is interesting that one of the treatments for GID is hormones of the desired gender. It is well known that we often crave foods that contain substances that our bodies need for good health. Consider then that someone whose brain is female might really respond to estrogen. So to treat it, the first stage of transition is done.

I think that there is a difference in whether the GID is from knowing that the person is the opposite gender and the person despising their physical gender. I seem to have both. I have many female traits and find maleness and things male disturbing. This is happening to me more an more all the time. I sometimes avert my eyes from looking at males in public. I think that I do this when my hormone treatments don't work well enough.

I see females in public and on TV and so wish I had the freedom to express myself as openly as they do. However, if that appearance attracts a male, NO WAY, Jose!

Is counseling going to help me change my ideas about men? I can be medicated to not feel anything but does that solve anything? Is GID only a "disorder" that means you know you have the wrong body or does in encompass severe self loathing of one's birth gender?

One thing seems to be clear, we don't hear many of the 50000 transwomen who go public and say that it was a mistake. Rather, the statistics are that GRS WORKS to alleviate GID and these women go one to live their lives.

As for those comments that GOD doesn't make mistakes so we TGers simply have to go to GOD and he will take this away from us. I have been there, pounding at heaven's door demanding, pleading, praying, begging, screaming, crying to have TG taken away and in the midst of many other miracles from God, I get no action other than to stay the course of my transition. I'd love to have these folks who say this have 10 minutes in my shoes....

[Sally24]

Any of the above may apply to any one person. We have many different types on here. I'm not personally TS, but would have at least considered it if it was at this stage of technology in the 60's. I am happy enough that I can be my femme self a few times a month. That seems to carry me thru my regular male days so I get some of both worlds. Can't be perfect in either world, just try to be my best!

[Cai]

That kind of gender confusion in connection with lifelong unhappiness is what worries me. I've had recurring bouts of depression and nearly constant ED-NOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified) since I was 13. I really truly hate my female body, and when I look like a boy I'm happy with it. But does that give me GID, or have I just reached a point where any change in my appearance seems to be a change for the better?

That's one of the major reasons I'm having so much trouble deciding whether or not I'm actually TS.

[MJ]

As for those comments that GOD doesn't make mistakes so we TGers simply have to go to GOD and he will take this away from us. I have been there, pounding at heaven's door demanding, pleading, praying, begging, screaming, crying to have TG taken away and in the midst of many other miracles from God, I get no action other than to stay the course of my transition. I'd love to have these folks who say this have 10 minutes in my shoes....

well said Kay
if you put mother nature as god then yes mistakes are made baby's are born with deformities and the doctors can fix it so the child can live a more normal life, so why can't we

[Lisa Maren]

Personally, I feel that my gender variance is a gift from God and that if God doesn't make mistakes then there is nothing about me that is a mistake, including my gender-giftedness.

As for whether GID is being over-diagnosed, I would say it is over-diagnosed because it is not the gender variance that is the problem. On Dr. Anne Vitale's website (www.avitale.com) she proposes that treatment should focus on what she calls Gender Expression Deprivation Anxiety Disorder, meaning it is the anxiety that is the disorder, not the gender variation. I wholeheartedly agree. I also think this has the interesting advantage that when focusing on anxiety rather than gender variance, the focus is moved away from transitioning and that makes sense to me. It's almost as though transition is implied (at least in many people's minds it seems) when people think of gender variance. I think this would help with that.

Hugs,
Lisa

[AmberTG]

According to the description that I understand of GID (gender identity disorder), the anxiety, depression, self loathing, guilt, shame, are the side effects of the disorder. Most people get relief from these symptoms over time by dealing with their gender issues. That may or may not include transition, not every person with GID needs to transition to be happy, transition is definitely not the solution for everyone. However, there are obviously many people for whom transition is the only solution to the problem. That's why councilling with a professional therapist who understands gender issues is so important. We don't always know how to sort out all the stuff in our head to get to the real issues without help from someone who knows the right questions to ask. That can be as important as the hormones and the other stuff we do in transition.

[Nicole]

Personally, I feel that my gender variance is a gift from God and that if God doesn't make mistakes then there is nothing about me that is a mistake, including my gender-giftedness.

As for whether GID is being over-diagnosed, I would say it is over-diagnosed because it is not the gender variance that is the problem. On Dr. Anne Vitale's website (www.avitale.com) she proposes that treatment should focus on what she calls Gender Expression Deprivation Anxiety Disorder, meaning it is the anxiety that is the disorder, not the gender variation. I wholeheartedly agree. I also think this has the interesting advantage that when focusing on anxiety rather than gender variance, the focus is moved away from transitioning and that makes sense to me. It's almost as though transition is implied (at least in many people's minds it seems) when people think of gender variance. I think this would help with that.

Hugs,
Lisa

Wow... Anne Vitale's website is loaded with helpful information. Thanks for the link!

[kerrianna]

Interesting discussion. I'm wondering about this stuff myself - which came first? The TG feelings or the childhood trauma? My therapist isn't a gender specialist, so that does give me a chance to work on what they diagnosed as PTSD from some stuff I grew up with. I do know I had a strong female gender affinity when I was very young and an equally strong male avoidance. And for the most part that never changed.

But the thought does cross my mind sometimes that the "aha" moments I have may be trying to wrap up other issues in the gender quandry. I guess it's a moot point with me. I'm scared sh*tless to transition, even if I could afford to and if I didn't think everything I've built would be imperiled by it. So maybe it would be best for me to not think about it so much. The trouble is I can't NOT think about it. It hits me in a very deep painful place now that I've lowered my defences and when I follow my heart I find a very profound happiness the likes of which I have never experienced before.

I'm at a real loss as what to do, other than muddle through my days and keep groping in the dark. I'm sure more will be revealed. At least I can say I like myself a lot better now for whatever reason. I guess that's good enough for me for now. :strugglin :straightface:

[AmberTG]

You know, Kerrianna brings up a very good question here about childhood trauma. I think that's a subject for a new thread instead of tacking it onto this one so I'll go ahead and start a new one on that.
I think Kehleyr's right about the seriously transgendered, they know basicly what's wrong with them, they're not confused, they just need help fixing the problem. It's the ones in the middle that don't necessarily fit into either gender that have the most confusion. I kinda fit into that group, I never felt like I was born in the wrong body when I was a kid, my issues started with puberty. Sense then, I've spent a lot of time wishing that I'd been born as a girl, but I don't think that's the same thing as knowing that you're a girl in a boy's body.
This is where the treatment issues become so important, trying to figure out just where on the spectrum you fit and what treatment to start on to deal effectively with the issues. If you're like me, you have to deal with the guilt, shame, and depression along with the gender confusion. For me the depression is the biggest issue to overcome, the gender issue is easier to deal with after that, I always feel better about myself when I'm not depressed about something. An anti-depressant has helped me a lot in that regard, but, for me, transition is still what I want, GRS is an issue I'm not ready for at this time, it may not be necessary for me, I don't know yet. Even if you take the cost issue out of it, I still don't know at this point. I'm taking it as it comes.

[Maggie Kay]

I agree that the truth of the GID phenomenon is that the negative manifestations are side effects of a natural variant. Our twisted society which places medieval morals on gender conditions has left those of us with the condition to fend for ourselves.

I envy those who can afford therapy, let alone a therapist that really understands what to do about it. I went to a Psychiatrist a few years back to see if he could help and after paying $400 for a session, I find that I have blame issues. Well, I cannot afford $3000 a month for therapy and my insurance won't pay for any mental treatment. I'm a pretty bright and can reason things out very well. I have made progress in why I feel the way I do.

Unfortunately, knowing why doesn't make the pain go away. The most maddening thing is that the "Cure" is considered evil or wrong or foolish by the majority of our wacko society. If I need to present as a woman for my own mental well being, I should be permitted to do so and not be obstructed, hassled or belittled. BY ANYONE. Sadly, this is just not gonna happen in my lifetime.

[janedoe311]

All comments are very enlightening and so have been the personal IM I have gotten.

I want to thank you all. The support on this site is worth its weight in gold, more actually. This has helped me. I hope it has opened you minds as well.

Not all is at it seems.

Learning to deal with the depression and anxiety of GID is sometimes the only way for some of us. Changing our bodies is not an option.

Thanks again

I hope the discussions will continue. Would like to hear from all.

Love Cassandra

[janedoe311]

I remember as a kid probably about 10 or so looking a girls and envying them. Their long hair their pretty dresses. My father died when I was about 5. My mother remarried when I was about 10. He was not nice, but a guess cared in his way. I was a loner and at the time was called hyperactive. I am ADD classic, all the symptoms.

I was made fun of, beat up by the bullies and teased by the girls. once when I got beat up, I and the bully was taken to the school principal for fighting! Of course I was not fighting I was beaten up. The teachers did not notice bullies and I did not say anything. It still is a problem in schools.

I always liked girls; do not find males even a bit attractive.

So is my desire to be a girl a wish partly a desire to be something else, being that I am unhappy with my life? I am not an aggressive person, very passive actually. I do not like sports, but do have my male side, a little.

As time went on the female fantasies became more, then the dreams in my 20’s. Still I love women and find men disgusting.

I do not like my body, I feel “naked” without breasts. If I had to quantify my male to female side I would say it would be about 60% female and 40% male. The many on line tests I have taken confirm that.

But my need for a family and a “normal” life was very strong. I married at 40 had two girls. 16 years later, I am so stressed from many things including my job, (no self esteem, can not finish anything (ADD) and no hope), out I am not sure what is going on with my marriage. I do not want it to end.

I am starting to take adderall again. Not my wish but it does help the depression.

If I was willing I doubt TS would get rid of my depression and lack of self worth. I get nothing out of CDing and can not because of my family. (I would try it if I found a GG that would help, fat chance of that).

So I am stuck. Living with my GID is my only option. Again thanks for this talk it has helped.

[Maggie Kay]

We all need hope to live. Hope for something better in the future. I needed to do something about GID even if I didn't understand what is was or why I had it. Doing something to deal with it really helped. Some relief can be had in the smallest thing or act. I started using progesterone cream (an over the counter remedy meant for women in menopause but that some men are taking for andropause relief) with high grade, freeze dried Saw Palmetto for my prostate. It helped me a lot for a while and I did develop some breast tissue but more to the point, I felt a lot better emotionally. This is not radical, easily justified to the family and actually helpful for male health at this age. Consider that many men develop breasts after 50 so if one gets a set, he can say that is natural. A little hope for a better future.

[Shelly R]

To Janedoe,
I'm glad you had a chance to vent here. I know, this forum is worth it's weight in gold. Depression, and lack of self worth do go hand in hand with GID. The social issues, growing up, and family, all work against us. As we grew up to be a man, we were expected to conform in a certain way, or we were subjected to all the humiliation that friends, family, and society could dish out. That is the baggage that we have to carry around, and deal with. It is the individual ability to cope with GID that ranges from depression, and anxiety, to true despondency over their own gender identity. I wish there was some pearl of wisdom that I could give you to help you through the periods of depression. The thing that worked for me was being to talk about this with someone else, and slowly learning to accept myself for what I am, and accepting myself was the big break for me.


According to the description that I understand of GID (gender identity disorder), the anxiety, depression, self loathing, guilt, shame, are the side effects of the disorder. Most people get relief from these symptoms over time by dealing with their gender issues. That may or may not include transition, not every person with GID needs to transition to be happy, transition is definitely not the solution for everyone. However, there are obviously many people for whom transition is the only solution to the problem. That's why councilling with a professional therapist who understands gender issues is so important. We don't always know how to sort out all the stuff in our head to get to the real issues without help from someone who knows the right questions to ask. That can be as important as the hormones and the other stuff we do in transition.

I agree with Amber's statement. To transition, and have SRS is being pushed too hard by some, even I have been pointedly asked about my desires to undergo SRS, like saying no would halt the entire process (like I would ever say no anyway!) like I was being accused of taking too long to start the SRS process. Nowhere does it say that SRS has to be the end result of being diagnosed with GID. It is the outlined treatment that is to ultimately relieve the anxiety of GID, not to "cure" the individual.
GID being over diagnosed? I don't think so. As I understand it, only a gender therapist/psycologist can diagnose GID. I would think that few of us would go to the extent, and expense of a gender therapist, if somehow we already didn't know what was wrong with ourselves.
I have not been formally diagnosed with GID, by any kind of psycologist, even though I know that's what's wrong with me. I kind of backed into what I am now, I skipped a whole bunch of stuff in my transition. Gender therapy before and during HRT (no letter to start HRT), though I am being treated by a doctor. No therapy before, during, of after RLT which happened many years ago. Now I am full time, as a woman (pretty much on my own), and I am finally happy with myself. My personal transition like Kehleyr says was mostly a "quality of life issue". The other half of the decision was "Do or die". Only recently did my doctor write me a referral to a trained gender psycologist. Now you know why I do not think there is an over use of the GID diagnosis. Though the diagnosis of GID, and GIDNOS covers a wide range of issues and conditions, and probably quite widely an umbrella term.

Now that I have gotten overly long winded! :o
I hope this helps, and does not serve to confuse. :hugs: