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marie354
05-03-2007, 07:30 PM
Some of you may know My SO and I have had a bit of trouble in our relationship.
Some of it was do to my cross-dressing, but most of it wasn't.

THE DRESSING........
Shortly after I found this site, she allowed me to dress as freely as I wanted. This was great! Her thoughts were that once I did it steady for a while that it would get old and fade away. Oops!
I went straight into the ''PINK FOG!'' (The real fun part.) We went shopping together... We bought dresses, skirts, makeup, hair-rollers, etc... I had, (& still do,) a blast. I love being free. (Well as free as I can. It'd be total chaos if we were unconditionally free.)

Two months ago, she told me that she needed some space. (Separate space!) So I converted the dining room into a bedroom and that helped a lot. (I have RLS. (Restless Leg Syndrome.) Meds don't help it with me.) Separate beds helped her get some needed sleep. Problem 1 solved.
Some of the others were the normal quarks that bother everyone from time-to-time. (Toilet paper, dishes, laundry, etc...) Not really problems, but things to be addressed for sure. Problems 2, 3, 4, ... Solved.

Now came my CDing..........
I was dressing 24/7 except when I was out of the house. She held a lot back here as she is very passive. When I finally got it out of her, it DID bother her that I wanted to do it all the time. (It's hard for women to understand what we do. Hard for us to understand it too sometimes.) We talked and talked and talked... Not all at once, mind you... This took a couple of months.
Well... After many discussions, the middle-ground was found...

Which brings us up to today...
We need to talk openly to our loved ones about what we really feel so that they can better understand what we are going through. Well it really seemed easy to me until that day she said she wanted to separate. I knew that it would happen eventually and expected that I'd have to work through it. I was patient and it was worth it, in the long run. In the words of The Grateful Dead... ''If life looks like easy street then there is danger at your door.''

Well that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

For those that have read this far... Thanx! And remember... Life will never be dull. Very interesting at times, disappointing at times, really, really fun at times, and even quite sad at times, but never, never ever dull!
:hugs:
I know this has been a long post, but it's been a while for me.

Raychel
05-03-2007, 07:38 PM
Well that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

And quite a story it is. You are very right, communication is the best way to solve the issues at hand. Here's hoping that your talks all end well.

susie bear
05-03-2007, 07:47 PM
First of all let me tell you I always enjoy your post. I may not always agree with them but they are well thought out and well written

Next let me say my prayers are with both of you. You both deserve to be happy so do what ever it takes to get there.

Last. I wish my SO were more accepting but she is working on it. Who knows. Maby one day.

Best Wishes,

Susie Bear

Kim_Bitzflick
05-03-2007, 08:14 PM
Marie,

thanks for sharing. I might be at the very beginning of your story. My wife knows and is quietly accepting, but I'm sure she is simmering underneath. I try to talk about how I feel with her. We will see how it goes.

Kim

marie354
05-03-2007, 08:21 PM
Ya'll sooo kind. My SO and I are an item once more. I own it all to the people here that posted their stories which I have learned from.
~~ Sandy ~~
:hugs:

Talon DeRojo
05-03-2007, 10:12 PM
Marie - Thanks for sharing your heartfelt post. I, too, Struggle to communicate more openly, but if one is committed to the relationship, it is worth it.
Talon:happy:

Kerrie Sifton
05-03-2007, 10:21 PM
Marie, thank you for sharing, your comments are very helpful. The concept of communication, being essential. It will be of assistance to me as well. I wish you well.

Angie G
05-04-2007, 12:17 AM
I'd like to dress 24/7 at home but I give my wife the week-end as a man :hugs:
Angie

Suzie S.
05-04-2007, 04:38 AM
Marie, I'm so glad to hear that you and your SO are able to work things out! My best wishes to both of you for a happy future together! :hugs:

Sheila
05-04-2007, 04:41 AM
Marie,
am glad you have been able to work through this bad time with your wife:hugs:

Iniquity Blonde GG
05-04-2007, 05:17 AM
Marie , thats really good news :happy: & it proves that things "can" work out, and its given me food for thought :hugs:

Tree GG
05-04-2007, 06:59 AM
I'm very glad to hear things are looking up for you.

It's very difficult to work thru obsessions of one partner in a relationship, whatever those obsessions are. I would describe the pink fog as a definite obsession mode.

As a SO, the phrase "giving my wife/SO guy time" is somewhat frustrating to me. ??? Isn't the "guy" what was laid on the table from the start? Seems to me the guy should be the default of the relationship and the CD'd femme is the "extra", if you will. (This does not, of course, apply to TS issues)

I can see why your SO became annoyed, or saturated with CD 100% in private. I think I would begin to feel the guy was gone and having to push to get the guy back would make me feel controlling and question the relationship. I certainly don't want to restrict my husband's or anyone else's self-expression, however no one is in a relationship 100% for the partner. Their own needs have to be met as well, and IMO, a good relationship shouldn't require instructions or a specific list of expectations on everything.

Sorry, I don't think I made my point very clearly. I'll have to ponder how best to express that.

I am very encouraged & pleased to see you happy and the communication working.