"Can I borrow your purple eyeliner..."

[Carin]

So its almost midnight. Louise and I are chillin out in bed, I have breast forms on, the door is locked. You may know that we have a large crew of teenagers. One of my daughters, 16 years old, knocks on the door. Crap, take out the forms, straighten out and open the door. She is looking for some dental floss that is nowhere to be found. Then she leans a bit closer to me at the door and says.."Can I borrow your purple eyeliner... You know the fine tipped one". Her tone was low enough that Louise could not hear.

We just had to laugh after she had gone. She knows about my CDing. Six months ago, she had done enough rummaging through my drawers, and overheard enough - her bedroom is next to ours - to come to a few wrong conclusions and we talked about it at the time. It was necessary to be honest with her and tell her, to which she replied: "Wow - thats cool. I've got cool parents". Not much said since then. She did tell me once that my eye makeup was noticable. She knows where I keep my makeup, and 'borrrows" it and Louises frequently. So she was obvioulsy familiar with that particular piece.

Of the seven at home now, she is the only one that we have talked to about CDing. Her low tone was to make sure that the othe kids did not hear. Our oldest (20, not at home) also knows everything and is pretty cool about it.

All I can say is "Wow, we have cool kids".

We have not talked to the other kids - all of them teenagers - about my crossdressing. Provincial wisdom is that they have enough going on with their own sexuality development and hormones raging. But I am not sure about this as a Carte Blanche rule. Most of our older kids are well grounded in themselves and our family relationships. I think they would benefit from the openness of disclosure, and I believe that my relationship with them would be enhanced rather then damaged.

The objective is not to be able to dress around them. I am not going there. And there are also a couple who are not in a position to be able to deal with this in a healthy manner. But obviously some ofthem can!

[Sandra]

Before our daughter moved out she was always borrowing Nigella's stuff the only things she didn't use was her shoes because they are to big for her.

[Country girl]

My daughter's don't know about Jennifer but since we live 2500 miles apart it is really a non issue. However for his/her birthday my 16 year old always buys him femme stuff like a woman's housecoat and matching nail polish. She is always begging to paint his toenails when we are together. She thinks it's a hoot that he goes along with it but has no idea how much he/she really loves it. Knowing my girls as well as I do, I know they would both be cool with it. In fact my youngest would want to go shopping and help buy his/her clothes and makeup. She is most awesome! :hugs: CG GG

[Tamera]

Its great that your kids are OK with your CD'ing.
Mine don't know.
But,
I have always wondered about teenagers knowing about the parents CD'ing and that is;
1. Teenagers like to talk and gossip, can they keep this a secret?
2. If they ever got mad at you for some reason would they tell people just to get back at you?
3. Depending on the age of your children would "CHILDREN SERVICES" count CD'ing against you for raising your kids?

For some of us these questions may not matter. But depending on what one does for a living or how they are involved in society, it may.
LOL
Tamera

[Karren H]

hehe!! That's sooo cool!! Lucky girl!

Karren

[Dixie]

That's great Carin. My kids do not know about my Crossdressing. Last Halloween they saw me in my costume and knew I was going to do it, was going to do it the year before but chickened out, they said Dad you look like Aunt *****, my younger sister. My wife and I still get a kick out of that, when ever I'm dressed my wife will say, "You look like Aunt *****" We then laugh about it.

[Angie G]

Carin youdo have cool kids mine don't know I don't know how thay would be wuth it and don't want ot find out if it's negatively :hugs:
Angie

[Jenny Beth]

Great story, it's nice to hear your daughter thinks of it as cool. My daughter is almost 30 and has said the exact same thing about my dressing. On one of her visits she forgot her eyeliner in the spare bedroom when she left and a day or so later I get a phone call asking if we'd found it. I was sort of left speechless when she said I could use it if I wanted.

[Lovely Rita]

Wow, What a wonderful person your daughter is. It is families like yours that are going to make this world a better place for future generations.

[TxKimberly]

Carin,

What an awesome life you seem to be leading! A great wife and a huge family that appears to be open minded and accepting. Adopting is such a huge and worth wihile comitment. My wife and I have considered it but don't have the courage or the resources to put another through school. Not sure we can put the two we HAVE through school for that matter! lol

Kim

[Di]

Very cool kids!!! My twin daughters embrace Sher too...last time shopping with them they were getting matching skorts and wanted Sher to have one just like the ones they picked out.

[lindsaycd75]

Cool kids. I have a 12 year old I think were going to have to tell soon. I caught her borrowing some of my nail polish and make up. I am pretty sure she knows something is up and I don't think she will have a problem with it. The only reason she hasn't been told already is that she cant keep a secret.:heehee:

[ashlee chiffon]

kewl family! the perfect lifestyle for gals like us!

[Mitch23]

Its great that your kids are OK with your CD'ing.
Mine don't know.
But,
I have always wondered about teenagers knowing about the parents CD'ing and that is;
1. Teenagers like to talk and gossip, can they keep this a secret?
2. If they ever got mad at you for some reason would they tell people just to get back at you?
3. Depending on the age of your children would "CHILDREN SERVICES" count CD'ing against you for raising your kids?

For some of us these questions may not matter. But depending on what one does for a living or how they are involved in society, it may.
LOL
Tamera
a question i was going to ask because it kind of pushes my cd activity into a small space. should your kids know, is it good for them, will it be round the neighbourhood in ten minutes? I have a 10 year old son. he thinks i'm a bit girlie cos i have a 'manbag' and wear runing tights (in a humorous way)

mitch

[Holly]

That's too cool, Carin. Both my adult kids know about my dressing. It would have been nice if they had known while they were still living with my wife and I but I was still having my own issues at the time. Good for you and your family!

[Carin's Wife GG]

Its great that your kids are OK with your CD'ing.
Mine don't know.
But,
I have always wondered about teenagers knowing about the parents CD'ing and that is;
1. Teenagers like to talk and gossip, can they keep this a secret?
2. If they ever got mad at you for some reason would they tell people just to get back at you?
3. Depending on the age of your children would "CHILDREN SERVICES" count CD'ing against you for raising your kids?

For some of us these questions may not matter. But depending on what one does for a living or how they are involved in society, it may.
LOL
Tamera

Our teens seem to know what is appropriate to keep to themselves.

I cannot ever see ANY of them using CDing as a *weapon* in a disagreemnt, it's just not a part of our family cuture.


We are technically foster parents (our newest DD is not fully adopted yet) and I do not believe this would be an issue with Social Services. We are way too good at what we do with our kids for them to even think of removing any of them, lol. I have wondered about letting them know. we have long thought of adopting teens who are gay/lesbian or have gender issues. There is a desperate need for such parents as most foster parents do not want a gay child in their homes.


Louise.



Louise.

[Fab Karen]

we have long thought of adopting teens who are gay/lesbian or have gender issues. There is a desperate need for such parents as most foster parents do not want a gay child in their homes.

Louise.
If you or anyone wanted to do that, I'd suggest getting in touch with your local Lesbian & Gay Center, they could connect you with people involved with that.

[trannie T]

Can you trust a sixteen year old with purple eyeliner?

[Carin's Wife GG]

Can you trust a sixteen year old with purple eyeliner?


teehee, I think so but don't quote me on that one!



Louise.

[Carin's Wife GG]

Carin,

What an awesome life you seem to be leading! A great wife and a huge family that appears to be open minded and accepting. Adopting is such a huge and worth wihile comitment. My wife and I have considered it but don't have the courage or the resources to put another through school. Not sure we can put the two we HAVE through school for that matter! lol

Kim

to try our best to teach acceptance of all people. To that end my kids have had friends of many kinds including gay/lesbian friends, autistic friends, dev disabled friends....the list goes on. Included should be that our kid's friends also run the spectrum of race and culture. I am hoping they will each be an element of change in the world. That is my greatest wish.



Louise.

[Rachel Morley]

Seven teenagers living with you?! Phew we have only one and that's bad enough ! :heehee: Mostly because he's a 16 year old boy who doesn't like to bathe and likes to play rock music really loud almost all of the time :D

Actually, he's an ok kid but I think I'd be happier with teenage girls instead ..... or would I? :thinking: ... maybe that would be worse? :strugglin:

Anyway Carin, your daughter sounds lovely. I think it would be so cool to have an accepting teenage daughter (or two) .... I'm not sure why I think that, I just do. :happy:

[Carin's Wife GG]

If you or anyone wanted to do that, I'd suggest getting in touch with your local Lesbian & Gay Center, they could connect you with people involved with that.

that would be a good place to start. But after we get our newest one settled. A girl can only do so much at one time, lol.



Louise.

[Carin's Wife GG]

Seven teenagers living with you?! Phew we have only one and that's bad enough ! :heehee: Mostly because he's a 16 year old boy who doesn't like to bathe and likes to play rock music really loud almost all of the time :D

Actually, he's an ok kid but I think I'd be happier with teenage girls instead ..... or would I? :thinking: ... maybe that would be worse? :strugglin:

Anyway Carin, your daughter sounds lovely. I think it would be so cool to have an accepting teenage daughter (or two) .... I'm not sure why I think that, I just do. :happy:


I really enjoy our teenagers. Each and every one of them. Even the ones with serious emotional issues. Both boys and girls. Yeah, I know I am weird.


Louise.

[TxKimberly]

to try our best to teach acceptance of all people. To that end my kids have had friends of many kinds including gay/lesbian friends, autistic friends, dev disabled friends....the list goes on. Included should be that our kid's friends also run the spectrum of race and culture. I am hoping they will each be an element of change in the world. That is my greatest wish.



Louise.

With out a question, you two are my heroes - way to go! With people lke y'all in the world, maybe, just maybe, it wont all go to hell in a hand basket after all. :-)

Kim

[Carin's Wife GG]

With out a question, you two are my heroes - way to go! With people lke y'all in the world, maybe, just maybe, it wont all go to hell in a hand basket after all. :-)

Kim

We are regular people with an interesting life. But thank you for your very very kind words!



Louise.:love: :love: :love: :love: :love:

[lindsaycd75]

Deffenatly agree you guys are heros. My wife and I have 5 between us, and spending time with all of them and giving them all that one on is very hard.
you two are very special people, and the world need more of you.

[Dixie]

I too look up to you guys as heros. You are both warm caring and insightful, so if you can't look up to that, then what can you look up to?????

[Carin's Wife GG]

thank you!


love,


Louise.:love: :love: :love: :love: :love:

[Sheri 4242]

Its great that your kids are OK with your CD'ing.
Mine don't know. But, I have always wondered about teenagers knowing about the parents CD'ing and that is;
1. Teenagers like to talk and gossip, can they keep this a secret?
2. If they ever got mad at you for some reason would they tell people just to get back at you?
3. Depending on the age of your children would "CHILDREN SERVICES" count CD'ing against you for raising your kids?

Tamera, You raise very important questions regarding telling our chidren! I speak not only as a parent, step-parent, and grandparent, but as an educator and coach. In general, I have said many times that today's youth (older teens mainly) are far more accepting of CDing than previous generations. This isn't a 100% thing, but a generalized observation I think is definitely true.

To anwer your #3 question first, I don't know of any children's state agencies that have rules that would count against CDers. Of course, often times you have "under the table" decisions -- not fair, but it does happen. Gays and Lesbians have broader acceptance in adoption laws, so I think that, in the main, CDing is a non-issue.

If I can address your Number One and Number Two together: I do know of some teens (even young adults in their early twenties) who, for the life of them, cannot keep from gossiping, so that "might" be a concern with some. As an example, I recall this one female student (about 18 y.o.) who easily rationalized (and NOT with any viciousness) the breaking of secrets. It was almost humorous -- it was like she felt she had a duty to pass what was told in confidence by one close friend or relative on to another. I truly think she believed deep within herself that the next person would keep what she was telling in confidence, although she was, herself, breaking a confidence. Lesson: it is not wise to tempt fate unless you are absolutely certain!

One of my children knows I CD and is "way cool" with it. She has bought Barbara gifts (to be given in private when my wife gives Barbara presents at times like Christmas or on a birthday). I dress freely around her at any time I want. And, at my request, she has talked (mainly over the internet) to a few children of CDers who needed some peer perspective. She was prettu good at this, too.

My wife and I have reservations about two of our children. One is VERY close-minded (despite never ending proclamations to the contrary). AND, I hate to say it, but one is incredulously vicious -- she'd tell in a heartbeat IF she was mad and IF she thought there was something (reasonable or not) to gain by telling!!!

Another of our children will act negatively about CDing if we bring it up in some innocent context, yet laughs at it on TV or in the movies. My wife and I definitely think she knows -- don't see how she couldn't. She's just the type of person who is like "hey, keep it to yourselves" about anything to do with what she percieves as our private lives. lol

Our other child is someone we never thought about telling -- at least not in the foreseeable future. BUT, recently we learned he has a pretty good idea about it and has known for some time. Apparntly he is fine with it -- but he doesn't want to really discuss it (for no other reason than he is very introverted).

I truly believe several of my past and current students have had more than an inkling -- maybe b/c of the "jokes" I drop about it from time to time -- that I am a CD. Don't know of a one who has a problem with it -- and have never been asked to a conference with the administration about having joked about it, so they are apparently keeping it to themselves. Two actually had the idea that if we lost a "friendly bet" on a playoff game the school was involved in, that my "penalty" would be to play them in a game of tennis with me wearing a tennis dress, etc. I had to chuckle! Of course, you've always got to know where to draw the line and always have to keep it appropriate. I view my role as an educaror as a sacred trust, so while I might joke abut it, I know where to draw the line.


Our teens seem to know what is appropriate to keep to themselves. I cannot ever see ANY of them using CDing as a *weapon* in a disagreemnt, it's just not a part of our family cuture.

Louise, that is truly great! We've tried to rear our children much the same. Unfortunatelty, we do have one who has a vicious mean-streak, and we just believe that she'd tell just to be mean-spirited. Like so much that goes along with CDing, I guess we have to be on our toes and analyze what is apparent.

[Khriss]

..while the "femme" translation ...might be "Mauve" :eek: :D hehe xx"K"