Issues/Thoughts - Do cd'ers want to be women?

[Cheyenne]

Is there a correlation between just wearing womens clothing and actually wanting to imitate being a women? Do cd'ers want to be women? I feel its one thing to wear womens clothing and another thing to act like a women and using make-up, curlers, etc. I guess I am kinda lost over the whole thing anymore. I have been thinking about purging lately. Has there been any thoughts on getting a sex change amongst y'all? From reading your many fine postings, I just get the impression you would rather be a woman.

[Karren H]

Nope don't want to be a woman.... never did.... happy being a guy, most of the time and a girl when ever I can fit her in.....

Best of Both Genders!!

Karren

[Dixie]

I guess for me it is mood dependent. I go through phases where I want to grow real breasts ( A "D" instead of my "A") and have a vagina and experience all the sexual fanatsies I can dream up as a woman. Other times I'm happy being a campy dragqueen, and other times still that I want to be a man that is completely convicing as a woman. Last but not least there are times when I want to be all male HeeHeeHee, but that is not today, once the kids are at school I am dressing up like a **** and cleaning the house.:D

[Toyah]

I am with Karren on this dont want to be a woman but every so often like to look like one as best I can.
To be a woman would mean having to deal with randy blokes as well and that would be really bad:thumbsdn:

[susants]

i would rather be a woman
i'm in my 40's may not have to deal with many randy blokes hehehe

[Cheyenne]

I find interesting the behaviours associated with some cd'ers. Some just dress to dress, some dress and choose to do "womens work" (no offense to GG's) while dressed, some are get thrills by being caught or going out in public, some feel the need to wear pantyhose or dresses even though many women wear jeans and hate pantyhose, there are so many things.

[Stephenie S]

You will find that not many in this section of the forum will admit to wanting to become a woman except as an occasional fantasy. Most CDers seem to want to CD only and not give up the male role they have grown up with on a permanent basis. Karren is a good example. She finds joy in both worlds.

There is another section of this forum dedicated to people who consider themselves transexual. Spend some time and explore both sections. We are a very diverse and varied group of people united by our acceptance and support of each other.

Stephenie

[Robin Leigh]

I have lots of "feminine" feelings, but I know I can't really be a woman. But I do love to pretend. :happy: I know I'm only acting, but it's still fun.

I also enjoy going outside when dressed up. If you want to have any hope of passing, you have to act feminine. And that takes practice, and being in the right mood, just like any acting job.

Sometimes, I fantasize about going full-time (without srs), but I know it's just pure fantasy. I was strolling around en femme in the late afternoon a few weeks ago, feeling good & fairly confident, when all of a sudden I had an attack of "I'm a Bloke in a Dress". :( I felt like I wasn't passing at all, and what the hell was I doing??? It was a nervous walk back home...

I had to take a bit of a break after that.

Robin

[suchacutie]

To me, Tina is an exploration of a piece of me that, we have discovered, is, for want of a better term, feminine. Maybe it's my shortcoming that the part of me that we call Tina can't be explored in male mode, or drab. It just seems so correct to push the envelop as hard as possible where Tina is concerned, and that mean putting aside as much maleness as possible to let Tina shine through. There is something to be said for the idea, "When in Rome....". It has been helpful for Tina to understand her femininity by putting herself as much as possible into that genre...akin to total emersion learning. The process of living as a man helps mold our male thinking, does it not? Thus, it seems logical that to understand one's femininity, it necessary to walk in "her" shoes...literally!

just my :2c:

tina

[joann07]

I find interesting the behaviours associated with some cd'ers. Some just dress to dress, some dress and choose to do "womens work" (no offense to GG's) while dressed, some are get thrills by being caught or going out in public, some feel the need to wear pantyhose or dresses even though many women wear jeans and hate pantyhose, there are so many things.


To me, I'm in the "...some feel the need to wear pantyhose or dresses even though many women wear jeans and hate pantyhose...." category that Cheyenne mentioned.
I like to dress up and look at myself in the mirror, but have no desire to be a woman. Somehow, being in femme makes me feel great and less stressed.
I'm just a totally different person in femme.
I just wish Joann was a real GG, as well as a girlfriend, because I suck when it comes to meeting and asking out women. Somehow, I just seem to screw up what could be a potential SO, GF, or wife.

[Mitch23]

Is there a correlation between just wearing womens clothing and actually wanting to imitate being a women? Do cd'ers want to be women? I feel its one thing to wear womens clothing and another thing to act like a women and using make-up, curlers, etc. I guess I am kinda lost over the whole thing anymore. I have been thinking about purging lately. Has there been any thoughts on getting a sex change amongst y'all? From reading your many fine postings, I just get the impression you would rather be a woman.
too hard being a woman for me - period pain. PMT, having o multitask, do all the work while your partner blobs in front of the telly, not being able to have a sicky, not being able to like sport

I'm a guy with a feminine side - i adore girls and all things girlie and when im dressed i can get a feel for their world. when i'm dressed i want to be 100% woman to the best of my ability. mitch is smart, shy but confident. When I'm not dressed I don't but i can still relate to girls in a girlie way. i'm sure that makes no sense at all!!!

mitch

[Deborah]

Yes i'd rather have been born a female and i'd gladly take everything that goes with it. :)

[vbcdgrl]

Hi, Cheyenne. I don't want to "be" a woman, but I do enjoy "imitating" one as much as I can, part time. I like my guy side too, and, after all, that's where my "real" life is. I would not consider doing hormones or any surgical changes to my body. To me, being a CDer is the fun part. There's a lot of stuff about "being a woman" that isn't so much fun.

Vikki

[christina marie]

take two people from different walks of life, let them witness any event,then ask them what they saw. think it'll be exactly the same? no one story fits us all. seems to be more about the journey than the destination.at least for me that is.i have been from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other and back again a dozen times in my life, and it seems that as i mature, it is more than anything, about being true to myself, and being comfortable with whoever i may feel like at that particular moment. I just happen to be lucky enough to enjoy aspects of both genders! I have always been proud to be a dingy blonde!

[KimberlyS]

I am just a guy in a skirt here. I am a male person that happens to have both male and female traits, characteristics, and physical features. The only reason I wear makeup and wig when I go out is to conceal my male identity to protect my family and job. When I go out in public en femme my goal is to blend and just enjoy my time out, not to "Pass". Even dressed in my most feminine girly clothes, I just feel like my male self.

We are all different, have different needs, looks, feelings, wants, goals and objectives to our CDing. Just be who you are and no one else can tell you what that is. Who you are comes from with-in, not from being like someone else.

[Holly]

Cheyenne, I can only speak for myself. I've known for a long time that there was something "more" to my life than what my male self had encountered. Maybe it was the way I was raised to believe that women are to be cherished and respected.

I've had moderate success in my life. I've been with the same employer for over 20 years, president of my local union multiple times, well respected in my profession, lived in the same town for over 30 years, been married to the same woman (who is absolutely terrific, by the way) for nearly 40 years, have fathered 3 wonderful children, and in general been happy.

But I have always thought that there was something missing. What would it be like to be the object of desire? What would it be like to be cherished and respected the way I had been taught to show women? And the feelings that are more usually ascribed to women... sensitivity, tenderness, nurturing, the freedom to express joy and sorrow without the fear of ridicule... oh how I wanted to be able to cry without being made fun of. As a man, these things have been denied me, and I freely admit that I could be as responsible as anyone else in these restrictions in my behaviour. But women have never had to ask for permission to express their emotions and I have mostly had to be the one to be strong, to be the rock so to speak.

When I dress, I get to put aside my daily responsibilities for a time, and explore all the things my heart desires to explore. I get to be pampered and to pamper myself for a time. I can let go of the restrictions I feel I live with on a daily basis, self-imposed or otherwise. I can appreciate first hand the frustration my lovely wife goes through when the hair doesn't lay just right or the eyeliner looks off. I understand better now all that she goes through to make me proud of her (and she is an over-achiever).

To answer your original question,
Is there a correlation between just wearing womens clothing and actually wanting to imitate being a women?Heck, I don't know. But I would say that, for me, there is a correlation between wearing women's clothing and becoming a complete person; strong and sensitive, personally and professionally successful, nurturing and driven.

[KimberlyS]

I agree with Christina, life is a Journey with many different crossing paths. The exact path each of us takes is different.

Life is a Journey. A journey down many different paths with many crossings and stops along the way. The total life journey is one of a kind. It is you.

Death is a Destination.

[Kate Simmons]

Do I want to be a woman? Not the last time I checked, Hon. I may be crazy but I'm not that crazy.;) Although anything is possible , I guess.:happy:

[MarinaTwelve200]

Is there a correlation between just wearing womens clothing and actually wanting to imitate being a women? Do cd'ers want to be women? I feel its one thing to wear womens clothing and another thing to act like a women and using make-up, curlers, etc. I guess I am kinda lost over the whole thing anymore. I have been thinking about purging lately. Has there been any thoughts on getting a sex change amongst y'all? From reading your many fine postings, I just get the impression you would rather be a woman.

Remember CDing is but a "symptom " or outward manefestation of several DIFFERENT mental conditions or attitudes. To assume if CDers want to be women is as nonsensical as assuming everyone who coughs has pneumonia. There are lots of reasons for coughing too. CDing , like coughing, are mere symptoms or outgrowths of something else. You dont call people "coughers" do you? No, you focus on WHY the person coughs.

Yes some people who CD DO want to become women. These are called transsexuals, But like coughs and pneumonia, not all people CD for the same reason. AN escapist CD, Cds to get away from himself for a while, a thrill seeker CD gets off on the psychological/sexual/or social feedback high, A fem sider wants to get in touch with one's fem side, and so on. etc. No generalizations can be made about people who CD, any more than a single cause for a cough.

[rose382832]

no way no how!!!!! but i would not mind being able to look a little more feminine when i dresss. still very happy sexualy with my loving wife.

[Lisa Golightly]

I used to think about it, but then I've been hormonally challenged since my teens... These days it seems irrelevent to me... The way I live and the things I wear are my choices and not the simple right of the mere whim of socio biological sexing.

[Ruth]

Well Cheyenne you said it yourself, there are so many things. CDing is what brings us together but there are many routes to CDing and many ways forward (or not).
What I do when CDing is to express my feminine side. I do that as a man and I can't imagine what the situation would be if I was a woman. Would I be CDing the opposite way to express my male side?
Still, I think I'll carry on as I am.

[Fab Karen]

No, I enjoy being a girl part-time. I enjoy both sides ( which is really just variations of one person, either mode I'm ME, the only difference is the appearance & some more feminine physical mannerisms ), it's great to have the choice.

[Teresa Amina]

Guilty! I know it's not where most of y'all come from but even I didn't think that was what it was about at one time, then realised that is the root desire. Where is that Gender Fairy?:D

[dl_pink_pink]

I don't wish to be anything, I wish for the absence of gender and the demolition of gender discipline.
Whatever I like, I like. I may love beer but that is often a (masculine thing) I love "girly" drinks too. I love horror and "chick" flicks
The main thing is that there is no limitation to what I be, I wish to be genderless

[SherriePall]

There have been days that I would jump at the opportunity to become a woman. Then there are days I could care less if I put on a dress. Of course, there are fewer of the care-less days.

[Raychel]

Sure there are those here that are going the whole route, SRS and all. But as for myself. I am all guy, just sometimes I like to dress up in nicer clothes than the usual blue collar work clothes. My wife gets all dressed up to go to work. As soon as she get home she can't wait to get out of them and into jeans and a t-shirt. I have to work all day in blue work pants and a work shirt. At the end of the day I can't wait to get out of the and get dressed up. SO I guess we are relly alike in that manner, Just reverse roles. Which I guess is the way it really should be, She is a woman, and I am a man. Opposite in all ways.

[trannie T]

We crossdressers are a very diverse lot. Ranging from those who fantasize about wearing panties but are afraid to, to those who dress full time. Beyond crossdressing is transsexual behavior, those who wish to be or are taking actions to become a member of the other sex. Whatever conclusions you make about crossdressers, do not try to generalize, each and every one of us is unique.

[Dixie]

Too true Tranny T, too true!

[kerrianna]

I find interesting the behaviours associated with some cd'ers. Some just dress to dress, some dress and choose to do "womens work" (no offense to GG's) while dressed, some are get thrills by being caught or going out in public, some feel the need to wear pantyhose or dresses even though many women wear jeans and hate pantyhose, there are so many things.

Yep, exactly. There's no one way or reason for CDing. Everyone's different. You probably notice the TG/TS people more because we tend to post a lot trying to sort feelings out and stuff. But I'd say there are more casual CDers on this forum than you think. Just start a panty thread and see. hehehe. (sorry Tamara, maybe I shouldn't encourage anyone) :heehee:

[LoriFlores]

I just get the impression you would rather be a woman.

Yes, I long to be a woman, wish I had been born female, and am considering all options towards SRS.

[NatalieGirl]

There have been many times when I wished I was a woman. But I also know that the grass is always greener on the other side of the street. GGs have their own problems.

As for SRS, that is out of the question for me.

[Cheyenne]

Thank you all for your input. I'm just trying to understand why we do what we do and everything associated with it. It's amazing how catastrophic this can be to many relationships and often question if cd'ing is really worth the loss of loved ones.

[Jammie Lyann]

All the things I learned while growing up I was tought by my Mother, Building,
art, write poetry, sewing ( 8th grade I was only boy in sewing class ), cooking, an yes even working on vehicals YUK :eek: .
So I have no doubts that had I been born Female, I would still have gotten to learn all these things, I dont like sports, an I'm very passive. always hung out with girls in school, never liked doing masuline guy things, ( hunting, cars ect. ect ). I also know that Ive always known that there was something differant about me, due to the way I was brought up though it took a long time for me to realize how I felt inside, at 40 years I know its not to late in life to head in that direction, but life has put its hold on me an thus I will remain Male, but the longing inside will never go away, an some days are a real downer for me :umbrella: .
YES I feel about 75% woman an 25% male inside. an over the last 8 month I been slowly letting the woman side of me out.
Ivey

[Valerie]

It's amazing how catastrophic this can be to many relationships and often question if cd'ing is really worth the loss of loved ones. For too many years I thought as you do, until I came out to my wife and discovered that our relationship has become even more loving and much more interesting. This community has taught me that I am not alone in this experience and that the equation [CD=loss of loved ones] is not correct all or even most of the time. Today my wife said "I like Valerie. She is a nice person..."

Valerie

[Sally2005]

For me, I'm still working on an answer, but I think it is an escape. I don't want to be a woman, just look like one as much as possible sometimes.

Sometimes I wonder what I would do given no other life complications.

[Dixie]

That is so cool Valerie, it is so nice to be loved and supported by your spouse in your CD fun.

[AshleyLove]

No, I enjoy being a girl part-time. I enjoy both sides ( which is really just variations of one person, either mode I'm ME, the only difference is the appearance & some more feminine physical mannerisms ), it's great to have the choice.

Spot on!

I love being girly occasionally, but I don't think I could do an hour in the bathroom everyday :P

[Khriss]

...the words "transexual " and "transvestite" are sooo close in the dictionary !?
While somewhat different in practice eh ??:eek: :D

[AmberTG]

An hour in the bathroom? My wife's in there 15-20 minutes tops, shower, makeup, hair, getting dressed, the whole thing! It doesn't have to take an hour and probably shouldn't take that long. Of course, women don't have to shave their whole body every day either.:heehee:

[Suzie S.]

I enjoy the best of both worlds. I've been a guy for 42 years, tough to give that up. There are lots of things about being a guy that are too good to give up. :happy: But, that said, there are a lot of things about being a woman that I long to experience. I honestly can't give a concrete answer to wanting to be a woman, or not. No one said we have it easy, tettering on that fence is sure a lot of work. :heehee:

[Katelyn]

I would've loved to have been born a girl. I love and admire everything girls do. Maybe fo be it was being so small that I felt I would've been better off as a girl. When I dress up, I feel like a girl. Right now, I'm happy that I can dress up and have fun. I know for a fact though that surgery is not the answer for me. As for Purging. DON'T. YOu will most likely regret it later... Especially if you toss a really cute outfit out like I did and are unable to find it ever again. My advise: Go to wal-mart, buy a chest (or 2) and store your stuff in there. You won't regret it.

[Tamera]

The answer depends on where that person is in their "TRANSITIONS".
So the answer to your question is both "YES" and "NO".
LOL
Tamera

[horice 3]

When I was younger, I was often confused, sometimes the feelings were like an avalanche and I was constantly internalising who I was and at times felt that I should have been born female. But nowadays I realise that although there are still some conflicts, I am me, Masculine and feminine and both have their own time because when I try to purge either, it adversely affects the other persona and I become depressed and I prefer to be happy.

[Angie G]

Not my I'll always be a guy just loving to look as close as I can to being a girl
:hugs: angie

[Jenniferritchie]

As you can see from the number of replies there are as many different views on this question, for my self i am 48 and very happy being a "Bloke in a frock". Dressing up for me is a release from the day to day mundane tasks that blokes have to do, but that is part of being male, as a very slim guy i find it very difficult to buy clothes that fit me as a bloke but if i go shoppiong for Jennifer(me) i can choose from so many pretty things from lingerie to ball gowns, and do i have quite a wardrobe for Jennifer, i am very lucky in that my wife fully understands and helps Jennifer buy her clothes and makeup, so i have no reason to even contemplate wanting to be woman, however this is what suits me and from inside i feel like a person, it just so happens that i have a personality that encompasses both male and female outlooks and if pushed i would have to say that i am more relaxed as Jennifer but still do not want to be full time female i like to choose when and when not.:happy:

[Marcie Sexton]

Well said Holly...

Couldn't have said it better....

[leggy_tiana]

I dress on a regular basis and love the feminine lifestyle. And over the years, I have grown accustomed to remaining a girl for ever longer periods of time. I take my femininization serious and work hard at projecting myself as a beautiful lady in appearance, behavior and attitude. I often wonder what it would be like to be a full time girl, but yet, I never felt trapped in the wrong body. I am happy being a part time girl, but if by some devine intervention, I was "forced" to live full time as a girl, I would welcome my fate.

[Lanore]

I feel very female inside and over the years I have blended in with society as to how I look and dress. Going at it slow does have it's rewards and after 50 years I'm totally comfortable with who I am. I know I was born male, (I find that word hard to say much less type) but I've always known I was a female. Rather than look for a quick fix to becoming a woman, I let time do it's wanders. How I feel about myself is so much more important than what I put on. I could put on a pair of blue jeans, cap and T shirt, and I would still feel female inside.

Lanore

[deniedtoo]

This is another one of those "depends on the person/mood" items. There are very few people that are 100% male or 100% female. Kinda asking "what is normal???"

CDing is a way of expressing outwardly how you feel inside. For some clothing is enough, for others, it's makeup, breastforms and wigs. And then there are those that really feel the physical body does not match the mental persona, and go through surgery to rectify this situation :cheer: I applaud those that do go through this effort for their courage, and desire to get comfortable with themselves.

For me:
Yesterday, I was fine with undergarments only.
Today, I want to wear the full ensemble with make-up 10% to 25% of the time.
Tomorrow: Only time will tell ;)

:2c:
:hugs:
Denied

[joperinal]

I love to be a man and sometimes to pass as a woman.

[Susan Johnson]

I don't want to 'be a woman' but I do wish I could convincingly dress and pass as one on occasions. Living for a long time in a small community with a high profile job I am recognised by quite a large number of people. I do not go out dressed as my wife is concerned that someone may recognise me and the information get back to family, friends and work collegues. I have to restrict any en femme outing to when we are away from home which unfortunately is rather infrequent. Still at least I can dress within the house when my wife is home! I like the feel and appearance of female clothing and I think it is because I both like and admire women that I wish to appear as one.
I think I have said what I mean but I am not certain what I do mean.

Susan

[CathyLee]

I personally would prefer to be a FEMALE at all times:thumbsup:

[Tammy_j]

hi, i think this is hard to say because it depends on the individual. i think that most cds are not ts but some are. my answer is yeah most def.

[daniella]

Almost every day at least once I say to myself. "Gosh if I was only a woman."

Oh well. I'm not so I enjoy what I am. TG or GM in pants or a skirt.

[MsJanessa]

Is there a correlation between just wearing womens clothing and actually wanting to imitate being a women? Do cd'ers want to be women? I feel its one thing to wear womens clothing and another thing to act like a women and using make-up, curlers, etc. I guess I am kinda lost over the whole thing anymore. I have been thinking about purging lately. Has there been any thoughts on getting a sex change amongst y'all? From reading your many fine postings, I just get the impression you would rather be a woman.

I want to be both---there are very definite masculine aspects of my personalty and very definite feminine ones---why limit your self? And as far as purging, been there done that twice(the last time 16 years ago) I'm not going there again---I'm just going to accept Myself the way I am.

[barbra]

yes and double yes i want to be a woman real bad.i wish i had the money i would do it right now.barbra.:happy:

[Rikkicn]

I've never considered my self a transsexual. I was a cross dresser. I liked the sexual thrill associated with it and I adored getting dressed up and going out to support group meetings from time to time.
There was no more to it than that. Things changed... I quit my job and started my own home based business, got divorced and moved to San Francisco.
I saw gender being expressed that were inspiring and freeing. Since I had nothing to keep me from experimenting I grew my hair long and begin to dress like the local women my age. I met and married a woman that encouraged me express myself in whatever way pleased me most.
With love and encouragement I've gradually come to live full time. I didn't decide to do this it just happened slowly over the last 5 years.
I don't fit the usual narratives of those that identify as transsexual. I never felt like a woman in a mans body or that my brain was wired differently or that I had a birth defect. I felt like a perverted cross dresser or transvestite for the longest time.
I say all this because our life circumstances may dictate what we think is possible.

[Sweet Jane]

I think for me, all this started because more than anything, I wanted to be a girl when I was growing up. I have never been sexually excited by wearing the clothes, its always been just a sense, of this is who I am. Somehow I just feel most at peace, and certainly most happy when I am dressed in womans clothes.
I'm sure that if I was growing up in a big city with resources, instead of a small town, I might well have transitioned. I had no support at all, and eventually lifes events sort of took over. I found a really special person who I love dearly and got married. I have never really regretted getting lost in this world somewhere between woman and man..I know that I am a more loving and compassionate man for all that is feminine about me, and up til now my life has been rewarding and satisfying.
So, if I was starting out today, knowing all I know, would I make the same choices....I don't know. Do I want to be a woman right now...no, do I wonder "what if".....yes, I do. And what does this make me? Like many I am just a little confused, because lets face it, most people don't live within two genders...it is a little odd!!!!

[Stephanie Anne]

I very much think it comes down to gender roles and how we are and were exposed to them. Many men just enjoy the sensuality of women's clothing and the intimacy it gives. It fills a desire but at the same time crosses a taboo that is both exhilarating and horrifying.

Some of us (myself included) thought for a long time that was what we were and wanted. It either became apparent to us that the clothing and imitation was not the real reason. We either hid it down deep and tried to repress it or accepted who we are and embraced it.

I can only speak for myself when I say that even if there was no division between clothing, I would still consider myself a woman even if I am physically a man.

No matter what we boil it down to it still comes down to our influences around us. There will always be a social and cultural aspect to this and it will always influence us. Who knows, if there was no line between men and women, masculinity and femininity, would I be who I am? I can't say but in the time I live in and the influences I have had, I have made my determination and am learning day by day to embrace what makes me feel whole.

[Joy Carter]

Star Light
Star Bright
I wish a star tonight

I wish I may
I wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight