Is Crossdressing a Curse or a Blessing

[Lovely Rita]

Hi Everyone, It is me again. I just wanted to do a poll to see how most of us see our crossdressing. I have to admit that if I were to answer it truthfully I would have to answer both. Today though, I am very happy to say that I see crossdressing as one of the greatest blessings I have received amongst many others.

Today, crossdressing is a part of my life that I cherish and appreciate, which is what trully fuels my Joy. I am aware that for many it can still be a curse and I know it that way very well.

I see it as a blessing for many reasons and the main reason is because it makes me complete and filled with joy and excitement. I love most aspects of it. Getting something new that I have always wanted to wear. Enjoying the act of dressing up and fumbling around with the makeup.

Being a part of this wonderful community and feeling more fulfilled with every new day.

There is a song that has a lyric that says," Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative."

That should be something we are always working to do.:love:

How we see our crossdressing is what also affects how we feel.

Please participate in the poll.

Thanks:D

[Jenny Beth]

I like to think of it as a special gift, not everyone gets to explore the opposite gender.

[Kate Simmons]

I think you already know my answer Rita. It's a big part of who I am but there is a lot more to it than merely the dressing. As you say, it completes me as a person and gives me a better perspective of everyone else, whether TG or not. It has helped me accept everyone as the person they are and have respect for them as that person.

I've traveled a road which has been long and difficult at times with a lot of twists and turns but which seems to be getting clearer with each passing day. A lot of others are on this road as well and I'll do my best to help them find their way and avoid the pitfalls if possible. You can't go in the water unless you get your feet wet though and sometimes you have to do that before you find out just who you are.

Still, it helps to have friends who support you and we have a plethora of them here. I could think of a lot of worse ways to get there for sure.:happy: Sal

[LindaTS]

I have to say that it's a blessing because to me it was a stepping stone on the road to finding out who I really am. I'm a TS and only found out about 7 years ago but I love who I am. Would I change if I could? Absolutely not.

[Felix]

Hi Ladies hope ya don't mind me joining in! Well since I have been presenting as male things have come together for me in so many areas. So I see it as a blessing. I have had so much more acceptance of who I am since I have been open and dressed as myself. It's fabulous xx Felix :hugs:

[Joanne f]

I love doing it but for me it has been a curse but i think that is mainly due to where i live that is also the reason that i cannot post a pic on here , but i am glad that i seem to be the odd one out ,




joanne

[Dixie]

It is the blessing of the curse, no wait,... the curse of the blessing, OH! Whatever, it is fun!!!!!!!!!!!

[silkie h]

For me it is a curse that I could have done without, but have come to live with & even enjoy. Of all the things that have troubled me in my life this aspect rates among the very highest.

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

It is such a blessing to me. This makes me so happy every single day.

Sasha Anne

[dl_pink_pink]

It is most certainly a blessing, the only curse is that as a society our species fails to accept our behavior. The rest of our species is quick to label us as being sick, I find that sickness to be beautiful.
The most important thing is that you feel good about yourself

[Valerie]

I wish I had found this group years ago. I feel now that crossdressing is a wonderful blessing, a great joy, and it has opened my eyes to many aspects not only of myself but of the world around me. My relation with my wife is much more loving--I can express myself more deeply--and I believe I understand better the life that women lead every day. Also, seeing how boring and uniformed men look in suits and ties, I am delighted not to have only that option! On the other hand, there is always some fear. This year I have shaved my arms and the first time I went out and took off my jacket I was terrified. Of course, no one noticed, or at least no one said anything and I felt elated.

Valerie

[rose382832]

for me it is a blessing, especialy since my wife helps and supports me. she just came home today with a yummy pink fleece poncho for those cool canadian winter nights.

[tracie674]

It's a mixed blessing. I think we all know we're different from the "others" and at times I wish I wasn't a CDer. On the other hand, crossdressing has brought me so much pleasure over the years that I'm glad that I am. Thanks to all for wecolming me to the familly.

[Laura Jane]

Is Crossdressing a Curse or a Blessing

Neither, its just a great pleasure!

[Karren H]

Your just toooooo spunky, Rita!!! Don't you ever have a down day..... hehe ME neither!!

Love Karren

[Ruth]

In itself it's a kind of blessing because it enriches my life. The curse is because society in general won't accept it and I have to hide it from most people I know.

[SherriePall]

I voted that it is both for me. I love it, but the curse is that I can't do it as often as I would like to and that I would not be as accepted as I would wish as well.

[Daintre]

I voted both, it is a curse, it has cost me a lot in my personal life, on the flip side, i feel that I am more tolerant because of the duality.

[dl_pink_pink]

The main idea that we have gathered is that it is society that is making us feel uncomfortable with our ways of enjoyment. They are dooming our ideas, making us feel pain.

If it is society that is bothering you when you dress up imagine that it is only you, nobody else. Even if you only do it for an hour a day, make the most of it. Do not let other people ruin our playtime :happy:

This is a struggle we have to overcome

[gennee]

It's been a real blessing to me. I have met some beautiful people, found liberation and contentment, and opened my eyes to the transgender community. I'm so happy :happy: and blessed.

Gennee

[Di]

Hope it is ok that I answer...:D I have told Sher from day one she is blessed.....so my answer is very much a blessing.

[Julie Avery]

I see crossdressing as both a blessing and a curse.

A blessing? In this sense: "learning to come to terms with this part of myself, rather than denying it, has been a blessing."

A curse? All those years I earnestly denied it, and entered into relationships with a lying sense of who I was, were certainly curses, for me and for people I was intimate with.

Having a character trait that society views as a vice is somewhat of a curse, though I can imagine worse curses - like having a character trait that society approves of, which hurts people.

So at age 52 I'm seeing grays, not blacks and whites....this happens to me all the time.

[trannie T]

Is my crossdressing a curse or a blessing? Emphatically yes!

It is what I am, both good and bad.

When you come to a fork in the road, take it. Yogi Berra

[Raychel]

For me it is a great blessing, unless I don't actually get enough time to be Raychel. Then it can be a curse.

[katia]

For me its a blessing:hugs: it's a way to express my feminine side and i do it when ever i can but i don't have to have dress if im not in the mood or don't have the time.
When i am dressed i am always on my own :( so i can behave and go where i want so its not a curse to me.
But i think if i was out ( you know what i mean ) i would do this more and more which could end up being be a bit of a curse ( or a lot more fun ) :love: Katia
-x-

[Toyah]

Neither its fun !!!!!!

[sherell]

BOTH It is a joy but always has problems

[susancheerleader]

I really love to dress. I feel that womens clothes are so much more comfortable then "guy" clothes. I am in the closet, so feeling "free" is what I don't feel. Hence the bad part. I sometimes get so frustrated that society isn't comfortable with crossdressing. I alwasy have to change my clothes, to go to the store. And change back, when I get home again.
If society was more accepting, then dressing would be more of a blessing. But for now, it's only fun and comforatble inside my house. :(

[TxKimberly]

It's what you choose to make it!
Kim

[Brianna Lovely]

Definitely a blessing for me.

My finding this Forum and my CDing, helped me to open my heart and accept who I really am.

No matter what happens in my life, I will be happy, because I've accepted and embraced my Two Spirits.

[susancheerleader]

It's what you choose to make it!
Kim


If that is for me. I understand that. But, in THIS town, I have too much working aganst me.
Most of all, my family has a deep and respected history in this town. My great grandfather and then grandfather founded and ran the local hospital here.
Now, my mother has a respected history in volentier work, and many other respected work here.
Then, my sisters are also restepcted.
I am already the "black sheep" in the family, and they don't even know about my dressing. Can you imagin how they would feel if I "came out?"
Not to mention, just my name alone means I have a lot of respect I should live up to (As mentioned, my great grandfather and grand father founded out hospital) I have the same name as my grandfather (I am the 3rd)
I just cant cope with this.

If I lived someplace else, where I have no family with such a history, I probably would be more apt to "come out" alot easier.

[dl_pink_pink]

I sometimes think that society might just be more accepting than we actually think. We say it is not accepting, but one question I want you people to think about and maybe give an answer.

Is the problem that society is not accepting us? Or is we that are not accepting ourselves?

[kerrianna]

I feel sorry for anyone who DOESN'T crossdress. :heehee:

It's such a window to the wider world. It allows me to express a vitally important part of me and that has made me a happier more loving person. :thumbsup: :happy:

[CDTiffany]

I was born this way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*****BLESSING*****

XOXO Tiffany

[Samantha B L]

There have been times in my life when I thought of my impulse to dress and my fascination with feminine things as kind of a burden.I sensed this part of my life and personality years ago.Even in childhood.I went through a long time in my teens and my twenties when there was beginning to be a bit of tolerance for crossdressers but with a kind of proviso that "wearing ladie's things"was one in the same with being gay and transexual.Not that there is anything the matter with being either of those things but many crossdressers aren't in either category. I've had times in my life when I hoped that my CD'ing would just gradually slide away and I would enter "averageness" and beer drinking,deer hunting,betting on football games on Sunday TV.But that was awhile back and I'm damn glad I'm the person I am!I'm very glad that my life hasn't been average!And I have felt that way for a long time now.Sometimes when you trade risk for safety you get paid back with "average" debits and all of this goes along with the average IQ and blandness.So Yes,my CD'ing is a real blessing

[Carin's Wife GG]

it has become a blessing. It didn't start out that way though. Now I am thouroughly enjoying getting to really know Carin as Carin.


Louise.

[Valerie Nicole]

It's a blessing for me in that I've come to accept it for the most part, and it feels good to do it. It has also allowed me to grow closer to some friends fo mine as well as the members of the family that I have chosen to come out to. In all those ways, it had been an unbelievable blessing.

But, like any secret, it is a curse in that I am afraid of the wrong people finding out...for now, anyway. One of my key goals in life is to shed that fear and come out completely. If I could ever reach that point, I don't think I would think of it as a curse anymore. Until then, in some ways it is a curse, or at least a burden, if only because I have to be careful with sharing it.

[Suzie S.]

I consider it to be a blessing. :D I thoroughly enjoy and embrace this side of me!

[Joy Carter]

I though for years the only time that I would find peace in my life is when I died. I would hold this part of me out at arms length. Not wanting to admit or show that this was me.
A year ago I took the plunge and joined the forum. I now have friends. I now have gurls who share some of the same things that I like about my self. I'm more at ease with J-- and who he is.
As far as coming out to my family. That just isn't necessary for me. It would upset that balance in my life. I'm happy just to finally accept and be me.

I just want to thank everyone who have given their friendship. And have offered words of encouragement. You all are so special to me.:hugs:

[Angie G]

Rita I have been blessed in this life with agreat mother and father both gone now a loving wife 38years and still going great in-laws 2 great kids 7 fabulous grandkids and CDind the CDing came before the others execpt the parants :hugs:
Angie

[Marcie Sexton]

Best thing that ever happened to me...allowed me to be who I really am, plus revealed how much and deep the love my wife and I shre really is....

Wouldn't change any thing....uh, well maybe 25 years ago I would have, but now wouldn't change a thing...

[Jocelyn Quivers]

It's both for me. I consider a blessing when dressing up, or going shopping. The feeling I get when getting completely dressed up and enjoying a nice romantic dinner with my wife, going shopping together and experiencing the excitement of finding the perfect outfit etc. I do consider it a blessing that I was born this way and am able to experience this part of me. The curse is on my wallet, I sometimes think of what else I could spend hundreds of dollars on as opposed to fem items; and what effect (most likely very negative) it could have on my life if I'm ever outted. Jocelyn

[juliauklondon]

Hi all,

I think this is a well framed question. I've watched a few threads but this is the first time I feel motivated to make a post. I haven't polled an answer, as none of the options fit me.

Unlike many others responding to this question I am not entirely happy to be a crossdresser. It blights my life in many varied ways. But I am no longer trying to stop. I aspire to making this more integrated part of who I am. I'm not there yet, but like it or not. It is a fact of my life.

j

[Xandra]

Overall it's a blessing as it has proved a catalyst in learning more about who I really am; it has also allowed me to connect all the "clues" from my life that led me to crossdress. I am, however, not yet at the stage when I can come out of the closet to friends and family, but at least the journey has begun.

Great question!

Alex.

[Carin's Wife GG]

If that is for me. I understand that. But, in THIS town, I have too much working aganst me.
Most of all, my family has a deep and respected history in this town. My great grandfather and then grandfather founded and ran the local hospital here.
Now, my mother has a respected history in volentier work, and many other respected work here.
Then, my sisters are also restepcted.
I am already the "black sheep" in the family, and they don't even know about my dressing. Can you imagin how they would feel if I "came out?"
Not to mention, just my name alone means I have a lot of respect I should live up to (As mentioned, my great grandfather and grand father founded out hospital) I have the same name as my grandfather (I am the 3rd)
I just cant cope with this.

If I lived someplace else, where I have no family with such a history, I probably would be more apt to "come out" alot easier.


I am from a small town in another country. There is no way Carin and/or I would be able to be as open and honest about the TG stuff if we lived there. We live in CA and we have found much more acceptance. Both our families are very well known not just in our town but in many other parts of the country too. So hugs to you!


Louise.

[Julie Avery]

Hi all,

I think this is a well framed question. I've watched a few threads but this is the first time I feel motivated to make a post. I haven't polled an answer, as none of the options fit me.

Unlike many others responding to this question I am not entirely happy to be a crossdresser. It blights my life in many varied ways. But I am no longer trying to stop. I aspire to making this more integrated part of who I am. I'm not there yet, but like it or not. It is a fact of my life.

j

That's a remarkably sane post. I hope we hear more from you, Julia. Thank you.

[susie evans]

at first i thought it was a curse once i learned to accept my self and enjoy the real me it has been a real blessing kim is right it's what you make of it

:love: susie

[Jennifer_G]

I voted "both".

To be really honest tho it's more of a curse.

Don't get me wrong when I am fully dressed, clothes, makeup, hair, the full works, I feel absolutely amazing. Its like a drug and I'm on a real mega high.

The problem is that I hate all the hiding and the constant covering my tracks. I live in a small town and all my family and friends are real close so I have to be real careful not to be discovered.
I think one of my neighbours may know as I think I was clocked when I ran to my car dressed at 2am one morning.

CDing as given me some tremendous highs, but the hiding and difficulty of being able to express it properly due to money, time, and ability to safely dress without being discovered has taken its toll and given me some crippling lows.

But the strangest thing was if I could be cured of the desire to dress I really would not want to !!! How mad is that ??

[Kristen Kelly]

I was just talking about this the other day, until I accepted myself it was a curse, but now I see it as a blessing. The people I've met from here as well as locally it's been so much fun. I have a true insite to just who I am or can be. I am much more creative and outgoing now that I have learned what I can do dressed, it carries over into drab.

[Sam-antha]

Just think, we would not know each other without it. A curse perhaps more like a nuisance that we cannot CD as often as we would wish.
~Samm

[franvonceder]

Its part of me. My crossdressing started long before the internet and I did everything without any knowledge of other crossdreesers.

I really enjoy and get excited about buying clothes and underwear. I love dressing up and making up - women have so much more choice!

Its a curse because I have to hide it for all but this forum.

Fran.

[LindaMarie]

For me, it's both a curse and a blessing.

Dressing provides a wonderful mixture of an incredible high as well as a kind of peace I don't often feel in male mode. I love the way I look and feel when dressed.

Still, it's caused lots of difficulties in my marriage and life would probably be easier without it. It was also very difficult to accept myself for many years. I can say that society is wrong to be so judgemental about us, but that still doesn't make society any more reasonable. I've always wondered how my friends would react if they knew about Linda and I think I've always kept a part of my self hidden because of that.

One other thing: although not strictly related to the topic or the poll, I think my getting older (I'm 53) has started to color my feelings about crossdressing. I know there are many out there who have aged gracefully and have come into a better understanding and acceptance of themselves as they've aged. For me, aging mostly represents a loss of youth and a loss of any chance to look good as a woman. In my 20s, I wasn't totally passable but I think I looked pretty good. Now, I know I look kind of old and big and fat and I don't think things are going to get better.

I don't think the appearance thing bothers me so much as a man. I've come to accept that if young women engage me in conversation, it's because I remind them of a kindly older uncle. I miss being able to flirt a little with women, but that just doesn't seem to happen much these days. I miss it but I'm mostly ok with it.

The loss of being attractive as I age bothers me much more as a crossdresser.

Maybe tomorrow, my crossdressing will feel more like a blessing but tonight, it feels like more of a curse.

[stormrider]

When I was young and thought I was the only child who did this, it was a curse. When I was a young adult trying to live without dressing, it was a curse. After I found that I am not alone and have accepted that I am a woman inside, it is a blessing.

[Rikkicn]

Is your own life a curse or a blessing? If you see your life as a blessing I bet you would see cding as a blessing as well.
We can make anything a blessing if we choose to look at that way.
Crazy huh? but seems to be true

[Stephanie Anne]

Dressing and femininity is the lacy, puffy filling to the great big hole that has always been in me :D

[rachelmncd]

It has given me a greater appreciation of women and what they go through but at the same time it has been a curse in that I haven't been able to share this with anyone close to me (in fear of their reaction).

[Carin]

Rita,
As you question is asked in the present tense I have to say that it is a blessing.

I am more comfortable, less stressed, happier, more outgoing.... by crossdressing and being my genderfull self.

But it has not been without a major struggle, more for our relationship than for myself. That was a long hard road and sometimes I wished it never existed. But we did get past that and are in a more profund state now than ever before, so in the long term it is a good thing.

[Khriss]

.... always been a curse .. as I'd wish to be "normal" sometimes...