Saw a CD while out with friends

[Shannon CD]

OK, I was out with a group of friends tonight at a local bar. Although I am sure that some of these friends, if not all, were involved when my ex tried to out me, I don't think any of them are "positive" that her stories were true.

That said, as we sat at our table I noticed a gurl walk past our table and I knew right away that she was CD. But so did my friends, whose comments were mostly along the lines of "you know that's a man". Fairly bonine, but nobody was fooled (and she actually did a very good job with make-up, etc.)

I kept quiet myself, not wanting to be disrespectful to someone that I knew had a lot of courage to go to a straight bar dressed. However, I chickened out of saying something positive, e.g. "that really must take guts", or something to that effect, because I was afraid it would raise suspicion amongst a group of people who already have a clue. (I know that some of you will say that I should just come out and be done with it, but I maintain that it is MY secret and I should be the one who picks who is privvy to it.)

I couldn't help but think that I would have loved to have walked up to her and let her know that I admire her courage. Besides the fact that I just couldn't find a way to do it without being seen, I was afraid that she might be horrified to think that she had been "made" if she thought she was passing. I even thought that if she did react that way and ask me how I knew that I could simply tell her that "it takes one to know one" and hope that she understood what I meant.

I guess that the point I am trying to make here is this; I have no idea how we can show support to one another when we are in drab and are trying to keep a low profile. Is it even possible? should we try? WE NEED A CLUB SIGNAL...LOL.

I will say that she sure looked comfortable and not the least bit nervous, but I have no idea what was going through her mind.

Any comments?

[MJ]

all i can say is when my wife outed me to everyone *you could say a parting gift from her * when i was in drab some of them were asking me how come you are not dressed !! but then when i did dress they left me alone so why can we all just come out and tell the world , that way we then have the right to talk to our sisters and our friend know and all have a good time

[Dixie]

I don't think there is "one" answer, each situation is enique so there is no "one size fits all" answer. I think we should show support if the situation warrants it, back off when it doesn't. She seemed pretty confident you said so I don't think at that moment that a show of support may have been needed, apperciated maybe but not needed. By the same token someone who is looking terrified may need the support, but would approaching them make things worse or better, again depends on the situation. We just need to think before we leap into action or not. knowing when and what to do is the tricky part, a "catchh 22" if you will, Good Luck.

[Angie G]

Some thing like that has never happend to me so I don't know if I would say something or not :hugs:
Angie