Support groups?

[tommi]

Just wondering how many have tried out being in a support group and if it was
a positve or negative experience?
I worry that if I would start attending one If it would kick my CDing into overdrive.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi tommi

This is one of the best support groups you could find
There is not a situation that someone here has not been in, so someone will have the answer
You will also get brutally honest opinions if you ask the right people but only if you want one

[Dixie]

Never joined a "support" group, my wife is my support in this.

[Valerie Nicole]

I've often thought of the same thing. It would be so nice to meet some people in person...especially dressed. Or even to go out out, dressed, as a group. Having never been out, I'm sure this would make things much easier for me on my first time.

[barbra]

why do you want to join a support group.you are what you are.you are a very good person that was created the wrong sex but things happen for a reason.you dont need support or head shrinks to tell you that you are normal.be hom you are and be proud to be a crossdresser.love yourself and what you do.dress more then you have been and be happy.look at the world today all the gays and others came out of the closet or out of the house and they are happy with what they do.why cant you.if you want to put your dressing in to over drive go for it.dont ever give up or give in.i still dont know why every crossdresser in the world dont come out of the closet and take part of this world that belongs to them.me i love dressing up and meeting other people.and you should allso.love yorself as a woman and keep telling yourself i am a great looking woman and will survive.barbra.

[sandra-leigh]

Just wondering how many have tried out being in a support group and if it was
a positve or negative experience?
I worry that if I would start attending one If it would kick my CDing into overdrive.

The organization I joined bills itself as a social group, but it also ad hoc acts as a support group. There are not, for example, sessions in which people sit around and talk about how they've been dealing with their dressing lately, but there are opportunities to talk to people in a relaxed atmosphere.

I started attending within a few months of realizing I was a crossdresser. I would say that in my experience, attending has not kicked my dressing into overdrive. The group certainly has positive role models, but when one of the transitioning people drop in and mention how much pain they are in from HRT, it's a good dose of realism.

[Shelly R]

The organization I joined bills itself as a social group, but it also ad hoc acts as a support group. There are not, for example, sessions in which people sit around and talk about how they've been dealing with their dressing lately, but there are opportunities to talk to people in a relaxed atmosphere.

I started attending within a few months of realizing I was a crossdresser. I would say that in my experience, attending has not kicked my dressing into overdrive. The group certainly has positive role models, but when one of the transitioning people drop in and mention how much pain they are in from HRT, it's a good dose of realism.

I have to agree with what Tess says about some kind of groups. I am involved with a group like that. We provide a safe environment, and descreet parking for those who are not comfortable with cross dressing in public. We are a social/support group depending who is there, and what their needs are. I try and work with the newbies. Our membership is CD (experienced, and not), TV, TG, and TS/transitioning (MTF and FTM). We meet 1st and 3rd Friday of the month, and have a 5th Friday "Girls Night Out". We are also involved with other LGBTQ venues, and public outings.

The other "T" group I sit in on occasionally, is a free exhange information style of group. We have members of all age groups that attend, CD/TV, TG, TS/Transitioning, both Pre-op, and Post-op. It's a great group, I love it! It's fast paced talk. Any questions, issues, problems, feelings, totally open. We all share our experiences, and sillyness. It gets lively at times, so much so you can't get a word in, always excellent. This group meets at one of the major LGBTQ community centers. Some of us usually go out to dinner at a local restaurant after the meeting.

I do believe in support groups, if you are new to this, and a "first timer" or an "old hand" at this, this is usually a good thing to do. Groups do give you a chance to meet with people that are like you, seeing this in real life can be a confidence builder. Like anything in life, all groups are different. It may take a while for you to find a group that works for you, if that is the way you decide to go, don't give up! Ps. You don't have to go fully dressed if you don't want to (it's not a rule you have to).

Hope this helps anyone. :hugs:

And yes this forum is also a wonderful support group, or I wouldn't be here! :D

[JoAnnDallas]

I joined the Dallas Tri-Ess group. I wanted to meet others like myself and I find it helps in the confidence level of things. Our group also does out-reach and hold seminars on TG issues. At the meetings we have either a speaker, seminar, or like this last meeting BINGO. many of the speakers talk about non-CD issues, but are of interest to us. One was a speaker on how you can make jewerly. I looked at it as a craft, sence both men and women make jewlery. We also have outings other than the monthly meeting. Most of these we are full dressed enfem, other times we are in drab. We have shopping outings, dinner outings, and etc. I have found these outings to be of help in my confidence level. Like when I went to HEF2006 last year. It was my first time where I was among non-CDers and I discovered that I felt great. I guess it is the old "Herd Mentility", you feel safer together than you do when your out solo.

[Kate Simmons]

The foremost experts on CDing in the world are the members of this Forum. Support groups are okay but move too slowly for me. Information and support moves much faster and is processed much more quickly here. It doesn't take the place of one-on-one therapy of course but is very theraputic and informative and based in our humanity.:happy:

[joann07]

To me, its up to the individual whether they want to take that step and go to a support group.
I joined my local Tampa/St. Pete Tri-Ess group back in October 2006.
I had heard about it a few months before, from another CDer I met on another forum, but was hesitant to go until I was encouraged by her. I finally got the courage to do it and now I'm kicking myself for not doing it after she first told me about it. The first day I went, I was somewhat nervous, but then they welcomed me with open arms and made me feel at home. After that, I wasn't as nervous and felt comfortable being amongst people who shared the same thing.
If I hadn't gone, I'd probably still be at home dressing up in my room and going out only in the cover of darkness.
Because of my support group, I met a well experienced crossdresser who took me under her wings and opened the door to a whole new world. She is a great person to talk, and learn from, and I was inspired by her confidence. She showed me what its like to experience going out during the day by taking me shopping and dining at places where I would be comfortable interacting with ordinary people. My first and second times were great experiences I will always remember and I can't thank her enough for what she has done. I'm feeling more confident, not as nervous, and I'm just having fun being myself in femme.

Our meetings aren't like the typical Alcholics Anonymous style (Hello my name is.....) format. Its a meeting environment thats relaxed, social, and educational.
We try to make each meeting fun and interesting so that there's always something different to look forward to.
Our typical meeting day starts with happy hour, then dinner, and then the meeting. During the meeting, we first take care of business (i.e. dues, membership, announcements, etc.) and then end with an open forum for topics of discussion, a demonstration, guest speaker, or whatever anyone wants to bring to the table.
We've had a Mary Kay lady do a makover and a guest speaker talk about various topics ranging from transgender education to suicide support. We've even had one of your members do a three part series on CDer charm school. The first time, she did a makeup application demonstration, the next meeting she did a talk on female ettiquete, walk, talk, etc., and, in her last part, did a talk on various beauty tips such as clothing, hair styling, nail polishing, etc.
Other things we do are monthly dress themes. For example, in February, everyone was encouraged to wear something red or pink to celebrate Valentines day. In March, it was green for St. Patricks day. I can't wait for October's because its the Halloween theme!! I already know what I'm going to wear. He he! :heehee:
After the meeting is over, we go the piano bar, relax, have a few drinks, and enjoy the remainder of the night.
For this month, we're going to have a rummage/swap sale. All members are encouraged to bring anything they would like to sell, or part with, that they don't need anymore. After that, we're going to show a movie and have popcorn and candy.
These are just some of the things that we do and I'm always looking forward to the next.
I get dissappointed when I can't make a meeting because I know I'll miss a great time.

As for this Crossdresser forum, it has its advantages and disadvantages and same goes for the support groups.
Its here 24/7 365 days a year, its a great place for a wealth of information, and you get to meet some interesting people who share a common bond. I like to repond to posts that interest me while, at the same time, I like to post my own topics, such as, sharing my experiences of going out in femme for the first and second times.
However, being that this is a forum. You don't get to physically see or interact with fellow members on a personal level.
Wouldn't it be nice if we were all so close to each other that we can just tell everyone that we will meet at such and such a place and everyone will be there. Now, wouldn't that be a huge HUGE social gathering?
I'd love to see that!

Anyway, I think I've rambled too much, but being in a support group and a part of this forum is such a pleasure and I'm glad that I can share my thoughts and experiences with you all.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I belong to Chi-Triess and am very happy that I do belong since it gives me the chance to meet others while dressed and we have many good things going on with our chapter. I would recommend Tri-ess to anyone that wants to meet others in a safe environment and to have "doors" opened up for them in the way you percieve and handle your crossdressing. My wife goes with me and they have a meeting of spouses before we all get together and the wives get to talk amongst themselves in a "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" mentality. It is good for all and will not hurt to look into it if you feel you may need some help. I do agree that this forum is the best therapy you can find anywhere and I thank whoever started this because it truly has helped me.

[sterling12]

I was going to respond to the original thread but Joann did such a nice job, I really don't need to add anything about our Group in Tampa. We think it's great, and a lot of other people who are joining in our Tri-Ess Group apparently think the same thing.

I have a simple suggestion for you. Why don't you just go ahead and try your local group out to see what happens? I know they can't steal your soul and make you dress up more. If you find acceptance there and you want to spend more time as a Gurl....so be it! That's not the worst thing that could happen to you.

I love this forum, have a lot of fun sharing and conversing with all of you. However, I also love my Tri-Ess Groups, and they are two different things. For myself and others, nothing can take the place of being with our Sista's in person. Joann is a dear friend and I treasure the good times I spend with her and all the others. Bet you would love it too!

Peace and Love, joanie

[Sally24]

It might actually give you a bit more control. I go out once a month with a T-girl "social" group. We talk, and drink, and go out later to dance. It's all really great fun. Doing this once a month seems to calm down the need to dress much the rest of the month. I mostly dress at home when I'm trying to pick out an outfit for the next months outing.

[Phoebe Reece]

There are actually two reasons for joining a support group. One is to get support in trying to make crossdressing as "normal" a part of your life as it can become. The other reason is to GIVE support to others who are struggling with crossdressing in their lives. All too often members of support groups drift off from their support group when they feel that they have reached their own balance in their lives and have "outgrown" their support group. Those girls who feel they no longer need a support group have forgotten that the support group may need them. A lot more big sisters are always needed to help guide the less experienced ones along.

[ShannonDragon]

First off let me say that I am prejudics, I like support groups. Now not all support groups are created equal. You have to find one that fits who you are and has what you want.

I hear the arguments, "why do you need a support group, we (this forum) are your support group. This forum does fill a great need, bit IMHO nothing beats meeting folks in person. And before someone says. "Well, just go out." Not all people are comfortable just going out or they may not be in a position to go out. Thats where a support group can be a god send to some. They can get out and be with others like themselves and be in a safe environment with little chance of being outed.

I belong to a group (IXE) here in Indianapolis. We bill ourselves as a social-support group. We get together to have fun. Yes we answer questions folks have, but we are all different and what works for me may not work for you.

To those of you who put down support groups, if you have never been to one, you having nothing to base your view on. If you have been to one and didn't like it. Fine, maybe support groups are not for you or maybe you just went to a bad one. But please don't discourage others to find out for themselves if a group may or may not help them. :2c:

:tongueout

[Rikkicn]

Yes to support groups. It's an amazing feeling to be in a room with several other crossdressers. I was nervous the first time but after that it was fun.
It was an important part of my growth. I made friends that made it easier to go out. Went to lots of events were we all dressed up and wonderful times.
Please try to attend if there is one near by.

[Rachel Morley]

Support groups such as this forum or groups like Tri-Ess etc (ours is called the Sacramento Delta Girls (http://www.geocities.com/sigma_delta_gamma/index.html)) can be very rewarding not only for hearing other girl's stories and feeling a bond between us, but also for peer to peer counseling (for free) plus there is also the opportunity to dress and maybe even go out and meet up whilest en femme, which for some people is the only opportunity they get to dress. For others, it's perhaps the only opportunity to go outside, in a public place, en femme but also feel protected and accepted. So IMHO support groups are a good thing ...... especially if you find a good one :happy:

[marie354]

Unfortunately, the closest support group is about 150 miles away from me.

I personally feel that this site is the best because there are people from all walks of life here and not all from just one gender or one continent either.

I've learned a lot from what I've read here, and I sure others have too.

I give a big :thumbsup: for this group.

-- Sandy --

[Jenn2716]

I attended a couple of Trans Support Group meetings. I mostly attened to be around other transgendered people and have a place to go where I could dress enfemme. I was the only crossdresser that attended, the others were TS (1 FtoM, 3 MtoF). It was a very small group. There wasn't much structure to the meetings, it was basically a chance to sit down and chat, which was good, but made me ask some serious questions of myself. I think that because I didn't have another crossdresser to relate to, I began to think about TS issues and I ended up getting very confused about my own Transgender issues.

I stopped going, but I because the people are nice and it is an opportunity to dress up, I may start going back. But I am more secure in my femme identity now.

Atlantic Canada is a very isolating place for a crossdresser to live. I envy you ladies who live in larger cities with an active CD community.

[Mitch23]

Went to my first one last night - a very positive experience indeed and somewhere i felt i could go with my wifes permission and somewhere where i could invite her even though she may not want to. met some young, old, fat, thin, bold, timid, realistic, unrealistic people but all very warm and friendly and welcoming. I also found out a lot about what goes on in my area, where is 'friendly', where is not and was able to network with a few and take away a newsletter, a few other halves were there as well so i was able to find out what they really think to all this. may not work for you, i'm certainly not tied to it but give it a go!

mitch

[Leah B]

Are there support groups where dressing isn't expected or a major part of the activity? I'd like to join a support group, but I can't go out.

[faltenrock]

I was on noly one and my only CD/TV/TS meeting so far. That was back in 2004. I was nervous like hell. The meeting takes place once a month in a hotel bar in southern germany.
There were about 20 - 30 CD/TV and very few TS. The night was very much fun, I started feeling comfortable after about 1 hour. I've met and talked to some people. There were also two young women on vacation, who accidently landed in our group. I talked to them and explained why I dressed.

The next day I had breakfast in my en femme clothes and checked out of the hotel.

Looking back, it was a nice experience, but it's not important to me to continue to go to meeting like this.

Doreen

[sandra-leigh]

Are there support groups where dressing isn't expected or a major part of the activity? I'd like to join a support group, but I can't go out.

Leah,
It isn't uncommon for support groups to have places to change. Then then question would be how early you could get there and how much time you want to spend doing your makeup and hair.

Support groups tend to get a little nervous of people who never dress up, as people start to wonder whether they are being infiltrated. But at least at the social/support group I go to, getting fancy is absolutely not required; at the last meeting, there was a guy with a moustache and a completely male top who was wearing a skirt, and that was no problem at all because people understand that circumstances aren't always what we would choose (it was their first meeting too). One of the attendees showed up in completely male clothes, and that wasn't any problem either: that person often takes four hours to get ready, and we'd rather they show up than that they skip for lack of time to dress.

I gather from reading about other peoples' experiences, that in some groups there is a lot of pressure to "pass". That isn't the case at all in the group I go to. I haven't received even a hint of a comment about no dressing well enough or thoroughly enough -- just some good-natured scolding for not having attended a meeting.

[krisla]

I am going to Alpha Chapter Tri-Ess tonight, this will be my third meeting and although I like the meeting, I found some nice friends that I can meet and talk to between meetings. This one has been a positive. I was in another support group years back that was a bad experience it really depends on the people, but you will never know unless you try one.

Krisla

[Tamera]

Support Groups are many.

It all depends on what you want to do?

1. Do you want to hang out with different girls at someones home, or other private environment.
2. Do you want a group thats active and goes out in public. And has activities such as picnics, bowling, restaurants, etc.
3. Do you want a group that does both 1&2.
4. Do you want a group that involves your SO.
5. Do you want a group where you can go in "FEM" or "DRAB".
6. And other variations I may have missed.

Personally, I like #2.
LOL
Tamera

[Gina_darling]

I went to a support group where I am and didn't think much of it really. It was my first trip out dressed and I come all the way from home on the train dressed which was quite a big thing for me! I got there and one person took me under the wing and was quite welcoming but no-one else seemed to acknowledge I was even there! They were very much their own close-knit circle of friends and I was clearly an outsider. Later on I went to a bar and found some more girls where we got chatting. All the girls there that I hadn't seen at the group said the same thing when I asked, they were also pretty much ignored. I don't think I will go again. I will try a group when I go back down south.

[Leah B]

Leah,
It isn't uncommon for support groups to have places to change. Then then question would be how early you could get there and how much time you want to spend doing your makeup and hair.


Well, it's not a matter of me being afraid to go out en femme. I'd LOVE to. I'm just waiting on "clearance" to go out en femme, which includes going to support groups.

[trannie T]

I go occasionally to two different groups, distance and my schedule prevent more regular attendence. One group is very serious and is oriented more toward the trans sexuals, we talk about our lives and coping with trans gender behavior. While it is serious it is fun the people are friendly and very accepting. The other group meets in a bar, there is no program or agenda just a bunch of girls socializing, the primary function is fun and they achieve it well.

As I enjoy going out en femme and have no hope of passing I enjoy going to group meetings if only for the chance of getting dressed. I always take something of merit away from the meetings. If there is a group available to you, sieze the opportunity.

[Phoebe Reece]

Leah, there's a local Tri-Ess chapter based in your city. You might want to take a look at their website: http://www.triessmn.com/ Each local chapter of Tri-Ess operates a little differently and I am not familiar with that one's membership, but it wouldn't hurt for you to check them out.

[barbra]

does anyone know if there is one support group in douglasville or atlanta area.sounds like the place i need to be.not at home stuck in the house.thanks barbra.:happy: barbrasugar@yahoo.com.

[Cheryl T]

I'm a proud member of Tri-Ess. I got my wife to go with me to experience it and see where it would lead us and now we have made many good friends. We have gone many places with these friends in addition to the meetings, like shopping and movies and casinos.
Can't imagine why I didn't go before.

[Karren H]

Hi tommi

This is one of the best support groups you could find
There is not a situation that someone here has not been in, so someone will have the answer
You will also get brutally honest opinions if you ask the right people but only if you want one

Shelly's right!! I never had the need to seek out a support group locally well because I don't need any support.. Lol. This and a couple other forums I participate are all I need!!

Karren

[Nora]

Support groups are very important. Most of us think of them in the context of providing support when we first reach out. They are a lot more than that. Yes, the initial support is there. But also offered is the friendship and ability to meet others in a social situation. To be with others while dressed and relay you feeings and experiences. Also to go out to varuious places such as shopping, movies , theater etc.

I have been a member of various support groups for Many years. Starting out with Crossdressers international in NYC to the Tri-Ess chapters in Hackensack and Trenton in NJ. Femme Fever on Long Island. I now live in Las Vegas and am active in the Tri-Ess chapter here.

Anyone who is hesitant, shy or Nervous should consider making the move to join. If you are already out and about it still is a wonderful place to go to.

Nora

[cindychan]

The closest support group for me is the combo gay/les/TG , none of which apply to me:( (right now anyway)

[Phoebe Reece]

Since Barbra asked for it, I'll put in a plug for the group I am active with in Atlanta, GA. I am a member (and editor of our monthly newsletter) of Sigma Epsilon, which is a local chapter of Tri-Ess. We meet monthly at a local hotel in Atlanta. Our "meetings" are actually a full weekend of activities beginning on a Friday afternoon and going on through a Sunday morning. Our members can either dress enfemme or not - whatever they feel comfortable with. We have one member who only "underdresses" and has never worn anything outwardly femme in the three years I have known him. Members can come already dressed, or change at our meeting suite, or get a room in the hotel on their own. Members can dress and stay in the suite or if they are interested in going out, we have outings to restaurants, bars, musuems, shopping malls, etc. We have a "newcomers meeting" on Saturday mornings where everyone gets a chance to talk about whatever may concern them (be it about crossdressing or anything else) and be confident that what is said will not be repeated outside the room. We encourage SO's to participate in all our activities and are pretty successful in doing that. We have members who come from all over the Southeast. A number of our regulars come from North & South Carolina, Florida, and Alabama - as well as from all over Georgia. More info on the group can be found at: http://www.sigmaepsilonatlanta.org/ or you can send me a PM asking specific questions.
Our next meeting will be May 18-20.

[SandyR]

Really, right here and my understanding wife is all I need.

Just being me.

Hugs.

SandyR

[Andrea Nicole]

Hi,

My comments are basically for those girls who wish to go out in public on a regular basis ....

I started off my first time out with a support group. It happens to be a very large one as I found out, over 125 active members. There were/are factions there with all different agendas.

BUT, what it will do for you, is have you meet & interact real people, perhaps make friends, and get SUPPORT in the manner in which you seek. They can give real advice regarding .. clothes choices, make-up, spouse understanding, dating, and the biggie --->>> CONFIDENCE.

From what I've seen here, about a good 30% is pure fantasy, wanna-be's, and old fashion BS. Be a bit skeptical, taking advice from people who have never been out in the real world dressed. I would opt for the persons sitting around me dressed up. You would be quite surprised how helpful they are, and the wives also. They are looking for the same thing you are .... a friend.

Don't get me wrong, the vast majority here are extremely nice and knowledgeable people here, but there definitely are a lot of phonies.

Give the support group in your area a chance, and if that one is not for you, get info on the next closest one to you. We have a lot come from mid-Michigan and Northern Ohio to our meetings and functions. And we do have a dressing room. I come dressed, but do help some of the new girls with their make-up, etc ... it really makes them a lot less nervous ....and it helps them in their presentation.

Just my opinion ....
Andi

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v482/AndiNic/a040.jpg

[Audrey34]

Hello ladies. This is my first post in quite some time. I joined the Tri-Ess national chapter in February and next month I will have a chance to attend my first meeting at a local Tri-Ess chapter. Right now, I'm scared as all out. I keep hoping that I can get through this without embarrasing myself or anybody around me. I do like the idea of a support group but it sure is hard taking that first step.
-Audrey

[susie evans]

i like karren have no problem going solo but i also like to go and meet others with the same intrestes i do and i allways find new friends and get more ideas on places to visit and things to see :hugs:

susie

[Mitch23]

I could have come en femme, changed there or not changed at all. None of the GGs had changed :->

I suppose there would be a question about your motives if you were not dressing up but other than that. Some had gone to a lot of trouble and some had just thrown on a skirt. not a problem - try it once and see if it works for you.

mitch

[joann07]

I have been a member of my local Tri-Ess group (Tri-Beta Tampa/St. Pete) since October 2006 and have missed only one meeting, April 2007. I have met some of the nicest people who welcomed me with open arms.
If it weren't for their support, guidance, and encouragement I probably would still be dressing up at the comforts of home, but now I have gone out in public a number of times, including solo.
I love going to the meetings because it gives me an opportunity to be dressed and also because I am amongst others who share the same interest. In addition, going to the meeting allows me to practice being in femme.

We had our May meeting this past weekend and I had a great time.
Before it started, we hungout at a piano bar for happy hour and then ate dinner at a restaurant.
During the meeting, we took care of business, paid dues, and talked about meeting related issues.
After that, we enjoyed our first movie night by having popcorn and watching a film called "Just like a Woman". If any of you have never heard of this movie, I strongly recommend it. This is a very rare example of a movie about a heterosexual male and his secret of crossdressing. The film treats this taboo so that even a general audience, not knowing anything about transvestitism, will strongly sympathize with the main character. The movie is about a yuppie-like transvestite who, in his thirties, has his ups and downs, but his character is treated with a lot of respect, warmth and humour. Its not a big movie, but a little lovely motion picture. A must see.

After the movie, we had a rummage and swap sale.
Everyone brought in whatever clothes, wigs, shoes, hosiery, etc. they wanted to get rid of.
There was quite a lot of stuff, but nobody left empty handed.

After our meeting, we went back to the piano bar to enjoy the remainder of the night.
All in all, the meeting was great and everyone had a good time.

I'm looking forward to next month.