Two significent events

[AmberTG]

Two things happened with me today that I thought I'd share with you. The first is that I started my fourth 28day supply of Estrofem-2mg per day, so I've been taking estradiol for almost 3 full months now, it seems like a minor milestone for me. When I hit 6 months, that'll be something to talk about.
The other thing today is that my wife and I had our day in court today, it was the final hearing for our divorce, so now I am officially her ex-husband. She filed the origional paperwork for the divorce, I paid half the filing fee, and we did it without lawyers, you can do that in Michigan if you can agree on everything, who gets what, etc. So now I start a new phase of my life. Funny, I really didn't think that I'd be 51 and divorced and living alone, but sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you just have to go with it and do the best you can with what you have and try to deal with the things you've lost.

[AllieSF]

Amber,

Congratulations on both events. Also did a lawyerless divorce in 1991. Still a close friend of my ex too. Better separated than married. Sometimes the past still hangs around a little longer, but the independence is very nice, especially when undergoing big internal changes. My son has lived with a few times, and when he left, as much as I love him, it was so much better alone. Good luck with eveything new in your life.

[MJ]

Congratulations on both events as well i have not divorce yet when i can find the money i'll do it

[Sharon]

Congratulations, Amber!


Funny, I really didn't think that I'd be 51 and divorced and living alone, but sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you just have to go with it and do the best you can with what you have and try to deal with the things you've lost.

So true, and you seem to have a great attitude. I'm widowed and 51, and I never expected to be alone either, but, as you write, we need to deal with the unexpected if and when occurs. Sometimes the negative things that happen have positive results when the choices we are confronted with give us the freedom to make the changes we may have been reluctant to act upon otherwise.

[Stephanie Anne]

I remember how final and closing my divorce was when all was said and done. Congratulations on closure and sympathy on the many years of unhappiness that surrounded that one small event in the grand scheme of things. Here's to new lives!

[KrazyKat]

:hugs: Congrats, Amber. I'm happy things are going well for you and you have chosen a path that is right for you, may you find peace and happiness along the way!!:love:

[AmberTG]

Thanks for the replys, girls! You know, I still have mixed emotions about the divorce, but I know that it was necessary, we both need to move on to the next phase of our lives. She, as a young woman (she's 31), needs things that I just can't provide her with. I'm sexually useless and have no desire for it due to my HRT, plus the fact that I had a low sex drive when we met. I managed for a while but it just got to be too much with my low libido, and that was before I thought seriously about HRT. Well, to make a long story short, she found someone who could solve her problems, if you know what I mean. She'll be moving to be with him this summer when her daughter is done with the school year. I don't have complete closure yet because I told her she was welcome to stay until she was ready to move, which will be before the end of June. I don't want to disrupt the 9 year old any more than necessary. I realise it's a bit unusual but the unusual seems to be the normal thing in my life. Oh well, I have to have a good attitude about it or else I'll fall apart. I just try to keep myself busy with my house and garden projects so I don't spend too much time thinking about the whole thing. I'm sure I'll live through it and get over it, it just takes time.
On the bright side, after the house is empty, I'll be able to do what I want with it and to it, and I'll be able to put more thought and effort into my transition. I started my transition after I knew the divorce was inevitable, but the process and the emotions that go into the divorce issues are very emotionally draining and distracting from the other things in life, it has tired me out mentally. Oh well, like I said before, I'll get over it and be able to move on with my life.

[Danielle_oc_ca]

In my divorce, I bought out her equity in the house. As for personal property, she brought a lawyer to the negotiations. We each paid out own expenses. I could see the air go out of the poor fellow when he was about to give me a list of demands when I said she could have anything out of the house she wanted. As a result, because she could have anything all she asked was for me to buy her a microwave. She had it before sunset that day.

I just kept the car because I am the one who fixed it after she smashed it up once. I put it as much sweat into it as it was worth.

At least in BC, I got custody as after 12 the child chooses who to stay with, as long as the other parent gets all the visitation the child can stand or is willing to tolerate.


Danielle