I need help! (wife caught me dressed)

[Chelseaswpa]

My wife caught me dressed last Sunday, and she is having a bit of difficulty with it.- imagine that! Does anyone here know of sites I can send her to for help with dealing with this? Anything would be appreciated! hugs Chelsea:love:

[Karren H]

Besides here?? I don't know of any.... But talking always seems to work......

Karren

[rocval2001]

I wish I could help you - if I can't release these feelings myself, I will be kicked out of here. I feel your pain hon.

[Kieron Andrew]

get her to sign up here? we have a GG forum

[Stephenie S]

Why not right here, hon? This is one of the best, isn't it?

Steph

[lynn27]

No easy button, everyone is different so the solution is always different.

You could try buying her a book like "My Husband Betty", "She's Not the Man I Married" or

invite her here, or

do a google search and select a site.

try sites like this, http://aosoc.org/welcome_to_alpha_omega.htm
or http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/wobs/howtellpartner.html

Best way though is to just talk, set aside a time and talk it out...

[lynn27]

Why not right here, hon? This is one of the best, isn't it?

StephThis IS the best for US, but I'm not sure [should have said, "don't know"] if it is the best for our partners. If right here had "for the partner" resources like "The Beaumont Society" [or others] I would agree.

[Kieron Andrew]

This IS the best for US, but I'm not sure if it is the best for our partners. If right here had "for the partner" resources like "The Beaumont Society" [or others] I would agree.
this has support for GGs with their very own part of the forum so why not?

[Rebecca_Annette]

Hi Chelsea

You could always ask her to look at this

http://www.vernoncoleman.com/thethreemyths.htm

[lynn27]

this has support for GGs with their very own part of the forum so why not?Andrew take no offense :hugs: , I'm not a GG so I don't know [as I had said] what support resources they might have "IN" there. A GG would have to answer that. Maybe a few GG's could offer Chelsea their opinion on the GG forum and the support there.

[Emily Ann Brown]

Dixie Darling (member here) has a website for couples to go for information...I think it's a geocities site....I know she is senorita_cd. Where are you Dixie when we need you?

Found it.... www.geocities.com/senorita_cd


Emily Ann

[Michelle 51]

Chelsea Tri-ess has a lot of good info.Go to google.This forum is great but could be a little scary for your wife because of the wide range of cder's where they cater just to married cder's and their family's.After she gets her feet wet bring her over here to meet all of us Justabit

[Chelseaswpa]

I agree justabit, i am not ready for her to come here, although I really like this site alot. One personal comment is I am gay as well as a CD. I know many of you are not gay and that is fine. I don't want to get into all of the details here, on why I got married- other than I thought I could change. I will check out all of the suggestions above and many thanks to you all for your guidance so far. hugs Chelsea

[Mitch23]

www.ladylike.org.uk

advice for ladies with cross dressing husbands

this is what i asked my wife to read

that and lots of serious and sometimes painful talking

you will get through it and it will make you stronger

mitch

[Dixie Darling]

Chelsea,

Go to my site and have a look at the material there. It's as clean as you'll find anywhere and you'll find material there that is specific to wifes as well as some that's specific to CDs. After you look it over you can decide whether or not it might be what you're looking for. There's nothing there that would be embarrassing - just a whole lot of down to earth information. Hope you find it to be what you're looking for.

Dixie -- http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd

[Sam-antha]

Yes, the difficult thing will be, (I think, but I do not know) talking that meaning her talking, you talking and both or you hearing and listening.

Then get her in here, but I do not know which thread/forum to guide her to.
Perhaps someone in here would help with a suggestion. (There have been some very good ones).
I say "here", because "here" is live, it is happening to people, whereas the advice sites, however good they may be, are essentially advisory. (Across the desk in appearance. They may be really good but I feel that the look of the local interaction and what is essentially the lives of others who Cross Dress would be of greater help than straightforward advice.
If she does get here, consider rewriting you posts, first.
~Samm

[Carin's Wife GG]

sites linked in this thread. THEN I would invite her here and have her join us in the GG forum. HTH!



Louise.:hugs:

[Lori SC]

If your wife is willing to read, My Husband Wears My Clothes, by Peggy Rudd, is THE best bet for a first book for a wife that just found out. Honest and factual, but presented as gently as possible.

Hugs, Lori

[SandyR]

Garage doors pops open, I run upstairs in a pair of heels, black thigh highs.....wew....Know the feeling. Really all the post here offer sound advice. I like this site.

Best wishes.

Big Hug!

SandyR

[Carin's Wife GG]

If your wife is willing to read, My Husband Wears My Clothes, by Peggy Rudd, is THE best bet for a first book for a wife that just found out. Honest and factual, but presented as gently as possible.

Hugs, Lori

all those years ago. Very helpful.



Louise.:hugs:

[JacquiUKTV]

Chelsea....you could try:

www.transliving.co.uk

UK-based, but as the title implies open to all w/wide ?

[JacquiUKTV]

Oops...no, the title doesn't in fact imply that does it ?
I know them as "transliving international".
My mistake.

[Stephanie Anne]

Sounds like you might need some sites as well. It is important to talk this out with her and without information on why you do what you do it will be just as hard as it is for her to understand your desires.

Here are some good areas to begin:

http://www.lauras-playground.com/support_index.htm

Tri-ess has a great "bill of rights", it's a start

http://www.tri-ess.org/Wives_CDs_BofR.html

Some other wonderful sites:

http://www.avitale.com/sotherlist.html
http://www.crossdressflorida.com/page2.html
http://crossdresserswives.com/


The most important thing is going to be to have both of you sit down and open up to each other. If you can't share that level of intimacy then perhaps there are deeper issues troubling you that need to be addressed as well.


You both need to respect each other's boundaries and sneaking around dressing when she does not know can be a big no-no in an intimate relationship.

[Chelseaswpa]

She went to your site Dixie and it is wonderful_ thanks for all your hard work and dedication. Unfortunately your site is dominated by straight CD's- being gay it caused her some more angst- as to why I am gay. We have been talking and trying to work thru as best we can. As you all can imagine it is very hard for her as she loves me very much, and I love her- but not like I should. I cannot thanks all of you enough for your comments, and suggestions. We both owe all of you a sincere debt of gratitude. I am telling her that I thought i could change my sexual preferences by getting married, that is the truth- but I of course, was very wrong. I did not want to hurt her, but have managed to do just that, by keeping this from her. I do feel extremely guilty, but at the same time strangely liberated by the fact that she now knows and we can deal with this from this point on, by being totally open & honest about our relationship and my demons. After hiding something like this for 40 years it is very difficult for me to let it all out at once, and have explained that to her.

[Angie G]

Bring her here we have gg's she can talk to and get help with her feelings
:hugs:
Angie

[silkie h]

You mention in passing that you are gay also. Did your wife know about that previously or has she been hit with all of this at once ? If not, it is no longer a matter of her dealing solely with the discovery that her husband is a crossdresser. I think everyone seems to be missing that point here for some reason.

[Chelseaswpa]

You mention in passing that you are gay also. Did your wife know about that previously or has she been hit with all of this at once ? If not, it is no longer a matter of her dealing solely with the discovery that her husband is a crossdresser. I think everyone seems to be missing that point here for some reason.
Thank you silkie, for recognizing that fact. The poor girl is dealing with sooo much right now, and it makes me feel positively awful. Yeah the CD sites are good, but like I said earlier, she keeps asking why are most CD's str8 and you aren't? I just can't understand that myself, but i guess they will have to dao a case study on me LOL. We are talking and trying to decide what to do. iwill try to keep everyone informed in case someone else runs into this as well. hugs Chelsea

[samantha78]

Honesty is the best solution in this situation! I told my fiancee that I dressed and she was a little aprehensive at first but she has accepted it. She enjoys it also. You have to remeber your the same person just dressed and your wife fell in love with who you are not what you wear!