off hormone emotional confusion

[melissaK]

So, I quit hormones only because I ran out. Last day was Sunday. Been alert for mood swing issues. Of course its the worst week of work I have had in seven years. An audit/metric compliance team of high on mucky mucks came into our office and lined us all up and fired volley after volley into our ranks. It was ugly. Perhaps I have some insight into how the baby seals on the ice flow must feel.

So, with all that going on - I sure can't tell cause and effect.

But do I ever need a hug,
'lissa

[MJ]

aww melissa here is a :hugs: :hugs: i know what it is like i was off mine for 3 days what a mess , that was the last time i will ever forget my meds and you could use some :love:

[Scotty]

I've been down that road too and I do not like it. I recently came back up to 2mg maintenance as 1mg was not quite doing it. I feel a LOT better after this week, the stabilization, whew......it's ugly going either way now....

Hang in there though, and are you ordering more are going off of them?

[GypsyKaren]

Here ya go Melissa :hugs: :hugs: , you just hang in there.

Karen

[helenr]

Hi, I have started Climara 100 patches. Time will tell how they affect me. I believe my testosterone is about zero now and maybe the patches will have some femininizing benefi-being age 60 probably doesn't offer much promise, but it is good for my psyche. I wonder what sorts of mellowing comes with estrogen being the dominant hormone in a transgendered? I do believe most of the wars and international conflict are triggered by testosterone to some extent, and I wonder if estrogen makes one calmer, easier to get along with? I get my meds from Inhouse in GB so I try to make sure I reorder in adequate time for shipment from overseas. best, helenr

[AmberTG]

I think the effects will be subtle and will sneak up on you over time. One day, you'll realise that you reacted differently to something and you'll know how they effect you.
I still don't know how they effect me mentally, the anti-depressant that I take tends to mask it, I think. But then, it might not effect me much, I only take 2mg of estradiol daily. It is having physical effects, but I'm unsure of the emotional effects.

[CaptLex]

Here you go, Melissa . . . :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :bighug: . . . I remember those days. I also have rum if you need it. :itsok:

[Maggie Kay]

I have gone as long as 10 days when I was in one of my "I gotta quit this and be a man" periods. It was OK for about 5 or 6 days then it got really ugly. As testosterone came back in dominance, my temper flared a lot. Anger was the flavor of the day. My heart rate jumped and headaches abounded. I got into many arguments and in the last one with my SO, I felt a sudden sharp pain in the side of my head. I had to immediately lie down and spent several hours in bed in a lot of pain. I started my hormone cream again and realized that simply stopping might kill me. It took several days for the pain to subside and for me to return to "normal" .
I am worried that I'll run out too. If I ever do run out of them, I'll make a beeline to the health foods store for progesterone cream and some topical herbal phytoestrogens. They are very weak but better than nothing. I'll skip the oral herbs, there are too many problems with that route.

[Sharon]

Aww, a great big :hugs: for you from me also, Melissa!

I was deprived of my meds for almost four months not long ago(dang doctors and dang blood tests!), so I know something of mood swings, most probably as much emotionally as physically caused.

Just hang in there and I hope things brighten up soon. :happy:

[melissaK]

Thanks for the hugs. They were needed.

Well its day 6 and I'm ok mentally. Physically I dropped 6 lbs this week - 152 to 146. 145 is my college weight! I miss the E.

. . . let's see if i can talk about this - - my idea, for good or bad, is to go without E until August and then reassess. Obviously I "let" myself run out of E. Breast growth was on the verge of being too noticeable to others, (hard to pass it off as fat when I dropped 25 lbs this last 8 months now) and obvious breasts are a big step, the consequences of which I am not entirely ready for.

And as for work, I just joined a company six weeks ago as part of a turn around effort for an office in trouble. I'm really good at my job and welcomed the challenge, but it's clear their corporate culture is one where they motivate by verbal beatings, never praise; and one where mid-level managers set up underlings to take all blame and they take credit for any underlings successes. I thought I had come in high enough up in the food chain to avoid this, but I can see I didn't.

Well this lass doesn't give verbal beatings, and she won't take 'em anymore. I'm not interested in making the political effort to win this battle, nor in trying to change this company's corporate culture as it's clear it starts at a top level. Sigh. They do so much else right, it's a shame.

So, I am planning an exit strategy already. (Winking at the good Capt'n)

So Capt'n, I was rowing my longboat out to your ship to take you up on the offer of the rum and ask if you might have a position open for a serving wench, when my boat was swamped by a rogue wave!

I thought all was lost, but you be right that the lord does provide, because as I bailed, not only did I find a fine Salmon that musta been returning to the river to spawn, but I found a fine bottle of rum floatin there!! I can only wonder if it hadn't rolled off your table, across the deck and out your scupper!

So, if you don't mind, I'm strokin the longboat for the beach, a salmon barbecue, and some rum drinks with the other island wenches. :heehee:

Hugs,
'lissa

[AmberTG]

Don't you just love negative motivation! The store manager at the grocery store where I used to work was like that, he wasn't happy in the morning until he had ruined someone else's day. Nobody ever got credit or a thank you for the good stuff, but we sure got an ass kicking for any bad stuff.

[kerrianna]

'lissa, glad to see you know how to get to shore. With a fish no less! Here, I'll fry that up and we've got some potatoes in the fire and some wild onions we found. I'll just have a wee sip of the rum. If I have too much I get too tipsy and do crazy things like run naked into the surf in the moonlight. :p

One of the things I've realized now is that I can't be around that shaming, blaming, macho culture. It literally kills my spirit, my joy, love and compassion. I do hope you can get out of it. I never believed that anything was getting better when women began acting like men to gain more power. This world needs just the opposite. HRT will do a lot for you emotionally and mentally, but you need to support that with healthy lifestyle choices. I do hope you can find a happier place to be during your days.

For now...here, I made this grass skirt for you. I've got one too. We'll get someone to play a tune and show them how we can move our hips. :p

If any pirate ships are out there looking with a spyglass you can bet we'll have company soon! :D
:hugs:

[CaptLex]

So, if you don't mind, I'm strokin the longboat for the beach, a salmon barbecue, and some rum drinks with the other island wenches. :heehee:

No worries, Melissa, you know you're welcome aboard ship anytime. And if your boat can't make it, we might just join you onshore (with more rum, of course).

Hope you're feeling better. :hugs: