So this runs in my family - found brother's yahoo profile

[brina_cd]

Had a very odd thing happen today. While cruising a yahoo group i'm a member of, I came across a posting using a familiar user name. Clicked on the profile link, and was left with *no* doubt that my brother was (also) a CD'er. I'd recognize that face anywhere. (Thank heaven the profile pic wasn't a "check out my 'junk' in these panties" pic. That would have really weirded me out.)

Anyway, how do I let him know that I know? And that I'm jealous of his at-least-somewhat-accepting wife. (Mine wants no part of this, and has made it clear that she wants *me* to have no part of this either.)

I say this runs in the family because our father is a non-op MTF TS. (Bro, If you found this forum, I guess we know a bit more about each other now. "Sisters" as well as brothers.)

[Di]

Ummmmm how do you let him know...... write the yahoo addy you saw the profile in.

[AllieSF]

Wow!!!

That is some surprise. Sounds like a print out of the photo and a case of cold beer may be in order for a long, shocking, laughing and bonding conversation with your dearest brother. If I found out the same thing about my brother, I think I would really lay it on him thick and heavy and make him sweat and suffer. Once he admitted it, then I would share my dressed photo with him and start running to a safe haven before he could catch me and pound my beautiful little body to pulp!

In your case, only you now your brother. Sounds like it could be good for both of you for potential mutual fun, bonding and safe havens for both. Good luck.

[uknowhoo]

This would definitely qualify as very odd, but possibly very cool too... in a you-haven't-lost-a-brother,-but-gained-a-sister kinda way! :D I'm sure you can figure out a way to approach him about it. Just make sure you're absolutely positive about it before offering any info about yourself which you wouldn't otherwise be inclined to give. Good luck, and let us know.

Btw, it is fascinating about the running in families thingy. How much do you suppose was nature vs. nurture?

Curiously yours,

Tammi

[Sheri 4242]

" . . . was left with *no* doubt that my brother was (also) a CD'er. I'd recognize that face anywhere.

Anyway, how do I let him know that I know? And that I'm jealous of his at-least-somewhat-accepting wife. (Mine wants no part of this, and has made it clear that she wants *me* to have no part of this either.)

I say this runs in the family because our father is a non-op MTF TS.

Brina: I don't want to make assumptions here. Does your brother (well, ahem, "sister" -- that is so'ooo cool) know about your father? I would presume so, but you don't say and this could be an important factor to consider. "If" so, have you and your brother talked about your father's gender identity? "If" so, how did those talks go? What does your brother's wife think about that aspect of the family?

In the main, forgetting everything I just asked, let me inquire, how close are you and your brother? Do you see each other regularly? Besides having kept the CDing a secret from one another, do you have "close" conversations?

What I am leading up to is this: if you and your brother are fairly close -- and presuming you can discuss things with him with familial trust, then I'd say pick a time where you know you won't be disturbed and just come out with it! If he has an encouraging and supportive wife, she might be able to become an advocate for you with your wife (maybe -- it depends on your wife's mindset -- if she is totally closed to trying to gain insight and understanding, the fact that you have a brother and a father with differing gender issues could drive her over the edge -- only you can best judge this aspect).

At any rate, if you aren't close with your brother, maybe you should work on bulding your relationship before jumping in about the CDing. If, however, you are close, then go for it! I wish you the best of luck in this -- and I hope you see why I was giving you hypotheticals; there are many variables that must be factored into such answering such a question.

[susiej]

Brina,

What a wonderful, cool discovery! It's like you've had a chance to peek at the answers in the back of the book. You can come out to your brother with absolutely no worry that he'll be upset.

What's to decide? Talk to your brother. Unlike Aluchi, I wouldn't suggest you make him worry about disapproval or exposure. In one short conversation, just ascertain for sure that you're not wrong about him, and let him know he's not alone! (The main reason I don't recommend Aluchi's strategy is that my brother is bigger than me, and could inflict a lot of pain if he wanted to :)).

Wow, the things you two have to talk about! The effect of your father's cd-ing on you. Your wives' attitudes.

You are blessed. I say don't waste another week of the blessing without enjoying it to the hilt.

Hugs,
Susie

[Michelle 51]

Yeah I would diffently let him know that you know. Justabit

[faltenrock]

Very interesting.

Reminds me of an article I've read a number of years ago, when searching for everthing about the subject.

There were boy twins in Fance, I think in the Normandie or Bretagne. Both turned out to TS, shortly after each other at a young age. I think, both had adjustive surgery.

Doreen

[Kieron Andrew]

Had a very odd thing happen today. While cruising a yahoo group i'm a member of, I came across a posting using a familiar user name. Clicked on the profile link, and was left with *no* doubt that my brother was (also) a CD'er. I'd recognize that face anywhere. (Thank heaven the profile pic wasn't a "check out my 'junk' in these panties" pic. That would have really weirded me out.)

Anyway, how do I let him know that I know? And that I'm jealous of his at-least-somewhat-accepting wife. (Mine wants no part of this, and has made it clear that she wants *me* to have no part of this either.)

I say this runs in the family because our father is a non-op MTF TS. (Bro, If you found this forum, I guess we know a bit more about each other now. "Sisters" as well as brothers.)
wow wouldnt it be cool if hes here lol

[MJ]

thats cool i think you should talk to him and tell him about this web site , are you 100 % sure?. thats amazing

[Eva Diva]

How many times recently have you seen someone say that they don't worry about posting pics because no one would recognize them - even their families? I guess there's no guarantee of that.

[TerriM]

Your story reminds me of something that happened obout 20yrs ago at a CD meeting my support group had. It was in a private hse that the group used to hold dressed meetings at. One of the members didscovered that his brother was at the meeting. Both were dressed and neither of them had known the other was a cd. They heard each other's voices and then realized who each other were. They weren't that close and sadly they didnt become any closer after that.
Yours Terri

[Diane1950]

You are so lucky! By all means, get closer to your brother/sister.

[Dixie]

....or give us the address and we will do it for you!:D Just kidding, if he is and you are to I do not see the problem talk to him. Just think of all the fun things two sistas could do.:happy:

[Fab Karen]

Ask him if this cartoon looks like anyone he knows.

[sterling12]

Oh my! Anybody working on their Ph.d? Anybody looking to get some serious grant money for research? This phenomenon just might be a very large deal!

I have gotten this same story from at least 3 other people that I personally know, a CD Brother or close sibling. Perhaps it's something genetic? Perhaps there a gene that causes a "proclivity" to CD or be a TS? Would be intriguing, right? Puts us right back to the old "Nature or Nurture Question."

If it could be proven, everybody understands what this might mean. No longer would it have as much stigma attached to it. Perhaps it's just a simple, straight-up medical situation, beyond a person's control!

Does anyone know of such an ongoing study or concluded research? Wouldn't it be something, to create the germ of a new idea in medicine, right here on this forum. I expect to be standing beside The Podium at Stockholm when they pass out The Prize. I feel like I was a "contributor." I expect better than an et.al. when they publish! (LOL)

Peace and Love, Joanie

[az_azeel]

Sounds like you got a cool family there.. I would just sit him down with a few beers.. maybe over at his house since his wife is accepting, I admit it wont be easy but after a few beers just get chattin good luck :hugs:

[dawnabb]

I can never risk posting a pic of my face, i am too much in the closet.

[TxKimberly]

What awesome news! No question - I'd send him a link to my page from my female email and ask him if anything seems familiar?

By the way, I have a TS cousin in Las Vegas and also found out recently that an uncle that died when I was young was also a crossdresser. This was discovered the day he died of a brain clot and they found he was wearing womens underwear. Apparently there was quite the mad rush to get them off him before the medical folks arrived. For the record, my older brother and sister (who I don't believe know this) have always said he was their favorite uncle! :-)

Kim

[Sheri 4242]

" . . . (b)oth were dressed and neither of them had known the other was a cd. They heard each other's voices and then realized who each other were. They weren't that close and sadly they didnt become any closer after that."

Terri's story is exactly why I asked the questions I asked earlier in this thread. There just isn't enough info in the original post on which to base a sound reponse. Yes! At first blush it sounds really cool -- but that's assuming they talk, that they're close, and other relevant factors. If they are estranged, then this would have to be approached in an entirely different manner. Approched correctly, it could be a win-win situation, but as Terri's story points out, this isn't something that can be assumed as an unqualified truth.


"Anybody looking to get some serious grant money for research? This phenomenon just might be a very large deal!

Wouldn't it be something, to create the germ of a new idea in medicine, right here on this forum. I expect to be standing beside The Podium at Stockholm when they pass out The Prize. I feel like I was a "contributor." I expect better than an et.al. when they publish! (LOL)"

Joanie: the degrees I have -- which only means I know ow to Pile it Higher and Deeper -- lol -- and I have participated in some research several years back. Whether I have it in me to ever really write a book on this is an entiely different subject. Maybe a bunch of us could team up?!! (You up for something like this Louise???) At any rate, the quips aside, I'll make you a promise -- "if" I ever try and write a book anybody who participates will not be an "et al." unless they want to be!!! (Hey! I've never been to Stockholm -- sounds like a pilgrimage we all should make!)

[Angie G]

well he should accept you then so just let him know you know and then tell him about you :hugs:
Angie

[Robin Leigh]

I have suspicions about a couple of my relatives... I don't see them very often, but lately I've been thinking about this topic a bit, and am wondering if I should subtly broach the subject with at least one of them.

Regarding nature vs nurture, the current theory is that a combination of genetic & epigenetic factors are responsible for gender diversity. It is in our nature to be TG in some form or another. Nurture just influences in what form it is expressed.

The main promoter of the idea that gender is a product of nurture was the infamous Dr John Money. His ghastly experiment with Bruce/Brenda/David Reimer was supposed to prove his theory, when in fact this gender reassignment was a total failure. :(

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Reimer
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Money

I read David's biography a few years before his death, and I always felt a special link with him because he was born on my birthday.

Robin