gail's story!!

[Gail Stauffer]

I was like most of you and had to get my oppurtunities to dress growing up, and of course I was caught by my parents, which of course was hard and embarrasing, I used to think that this was a phase and would pass, but it never went away, and have felt more lately that I enjoy my girl time. scince getting on my own it is nice to have plenty of time to develop my look. and thanks to many of you, I have done well, with your tips and advice, thank you. I work at the local Wal-mart store here, not sure if there are any others here that do or not but it's an alright place I guess. I just can't shop there without outing myself though so I usually go to the place I live next door to. there isn't many places for those like us to go here, but the scenery is spectacular and I do feel a little isolated here, but do ok with it. as I have mentioned my parents and relatives are not acceptive of this side of me which is a little hard, but I deal with it, and wish I were a full time girl and think about that often, as many of you do at times I'm sure. I'm usually a little shy until I get to know a person, but felt that this was a place I could come to that was acceptive and I could be who I feel I am. I just don't have anyone that I really know that would really understand this side of me so that is a little hard as well. as you have seen in my pictures I'm a conservative girl, and just like to look nice, and fit in as any normal girl would it is just who I am. I did get some outdoor pictures that most of you saw recently, whish was fun, it was nice to be outside for once, it's something I'm working on just to get out a little, usually I'm a little nervous as I haven't gone out in public dressed much so I'm working to get over that, and will be more comfortable once I do although there isn't many my age here who have the same interests to go out with, to get pictures but definitely would if I had a little help. I think most like us here don't get out to often. at least that I have seen. anyway that 's a little more about me for now... thank you. Gail

[Julie York]

Thanks for sharing.

[cindychan]

Whoa thanks for sharing your story Gail! I can only imagine how hard it was being discovered by your parents. It is never easy. Alaska is a pretty place ( to many bears for my taste though:eek: ) I have been there a few times and love the glaciers and fishing;) Keep posting and sharing, I always look forward to hearing from you!:hugs:

[Daintre]

Thanks Gail, it can be hard telling others about the real you, even here it can be hard even though most are very accepting. I am a bit sad that you have little or no contact with others, it must get lonely. I spent a winter up in the Yukon and it was quite a lonely time. Gail, I am always available to PM or e-mail, that is about all I can offer. You are a very good looking lady Gail, just raise that confidence level a bit.

[Gail Stauffer]

certainly I will try!! thanks for your nice message.

[Tamara Croft]

Thanks for sharing your story, it's so sad though :( Can I ask, how did your parents find out? did you tell them? or was it by accident?

[Sharon]

Very nice, Gail, it's a wonderful post and I look forward to future posts from you. :happy:

[Gail Stauffer]

Thanks for sharing your story, it's so sad though :( Can I ask, how did your parents find out? did you tell them? or was it by accident?

well they caught me, that was how they found out, unfortunately. they just don't understand it, or accept it. they ask now and then if I wan't to talk about it, I just find it hard though, not sure why, but I know I like my girl side.
that is why I feel a little isolated I guess, as it is hard to find others that understand. but I'm a pretty positive person and deal with that ok. there are others I chat with online as well so it helps too.

[Sharoncd]

Wow thanks for sharing. It sound like it is time to move futher away from home. Find a place that will accept you.

[Kate Simmons]

Wow Gail, what a nice post. I really enjoyed it. I feel bad that you can't be the girl you want to be but I guess that is something we all have to deal with one way or the other. Thanks again for sharing that about yourself and I certainly look forward to hearing more experiences and seeing more Pics. :happy: Sal

[Gail Stauffer]

yes I wish, but I do like it here really, and have my own place that I have been in for almost 4 years now. but I do think about that , it would be nice but it's something I would like to do in the future possibly

P.S. also added some of my new pictures to my picture post as well...

[TxKimberly]

Hi again Gail and thanks for telling us about you! You seem like such a nice person - we (the world, not just TG's) need all the Nice folks we can get.

I've never been to Alaska but find it hard to believe that there are isn't some type of TG community there? The vast majority of cities have a few groups that are easy to find by Internet - I assume you have looked for this?

I'm so sorry your folks took it badly. I have been spared this for the most part because in my family, only my brother and mother know. My step dad is a macho guy that would not tolerate this and my sister is married to someone like my step Dad, so I have decided not to tell them.

I LOVE your look, I like everything about it. Your gorgeous, have beautiful and kind eyes, pretty hair, and great taste in outfits. You have a touch of class - another thingthe world needs more of! I'd give my left arm to look like you do, of course having only one arm wouldn't improve my looks but hey, we're speaking hypothetically here!

Hang in there little sis, you have a lot of life ahead of you and any day now things can start turning wonderful for you.
Hugs,
Kim

[AllieSF]

Hi Gail,

I noticed that you stated that you parents have asked you before if you wanted to talk about it. I understand that you are shy and talking about this topic is definitely not easy. However, it would really help you to try to talk with them. The best way to have a succesful conversation may be to limit the topic to only a few items to see how it goes. You can control the agenda and limit the overall scope. You could explain to them that this is a very difficult thing for you personally to talk about and that you want them to really understand what it is all about. To do that tell them that you would like to explain some facts and information about crossdressing first and then let them ask a few questions. Not too many at first so that you can maintain your emotions. Tell them that this way you will also learn to feel more comfortable discussing this with them.

There are a lot of good posts here regarding coming out to a Significant Other. In this case that could be your parents. I would read those and adapt some of the recommendations made for your situation.

As most have said here, establishing a good conversation is the best way to get it off your chest and lighten your emotional load. I think they have really opened the door and given you the opportunity to bring them around to your side. I am sure that they still love you and are ready to support you more than you may realize. Give them the chance and your life may have a significant improvement.

[Gail Stauffer]

thanks I will have to see about that!! and appreciate the nice comments and advice!!

[Laurie909]

You have a touch of class - another thing the world needs more of! I'd give my left arm to look like you do, of course having only one arm wouldn't improve my looks but hey, we're speaking hypothetically here!

Kim, you're much too modest. You look fantastic!

[Khriss]

..the acceptance "part" ..is true for Me too .. hangintherethougheh ?
:happy: xx"K"

[cindychan]

Maybee next time I'm up that way we could meet or something;) Drab or Drag

[Tina Dixon]

Gail it is really nice to learn a little about you, we all seen your pictures but we knew nothing of you, but now after this nice post I think we all feel a little closer to you, and hey your still young yet so you got a lot of time still to figure out who you want to be.

[jenni_xx]

what a lovely post. thank you and I really felt a connection reading it.

For nigh on ten years, I felt as you do. I always had friends, but equally felt alone. I had people i could "confide" in, but no one who I could talk to about the things I really wanted to discuss. Its only over the last 2-3 months that I have truly accepted to myself the person who I am. And I have to say, that now that I am able to be genuine, I've started to meet, greet, and share affinities with people who I actually want to be with. Before I had friends who I didn't actually like. Now I have friends who I love and can not wait to see. They are nicer to me, simply because they know that I am totally genuine with them. I guess what I'm trying to say is...


...Be yourself. You'll lose friends, but you'll gain to understand and experience the full value of friendship. You'll be dismissed by some, but you'll be accepted by others more than you ever thought possible. And best of all - you'll be being true to yourself.

All the best. Your post really touched me, and I know that someone who is capable of writing this is most definitely a person who is worth getting to know. Don't doubt that.

jenni
xxxx

[Stephenie S]

well they caught me, that was how they found out, unfortunately. they just don't understand it, or accept it. they ask now and then if I wan't to talk about it, I just find it hard though, not sure why, but I know I like my girl side.
that is why I feel a little isolated I guess, as it is hard to find others that understand. but I'm a pretty positive person and deal with that ok. there are others I chat with online as well so it helps too.

Gail, I think you should take the oportunity to talk to your parents about this the next time they bring it up. If they really ask you to talk about it, it means that they really care about you. Take the hint. They obviously want to know more. You could talk a little bit at a time maybe. JMHO, but they may be more acepting than you think. As a parent myself, I know we love our children no matter what they do. Give 'em a chance, dear.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Joy Carter]

Gail, I think you should take the opportunity to talk to your parents about this the next time they bring it up. If they really ask you to talk about it, it means that they really care about you. Take the hint. They obviously want to know more. You could talk a little bit at a time maybe. JMHO, but they may be more accepting than you think. As a parent myself, I know we love our children no matter what they do. Give 'em a chance, dear.

Lovies,
Stephenie

Stephenie just posted my thought on this Gail. How long ago was it they asked ? And how many times since you moved out? If they love you they will at least want to know how you feel. As a parent I would want to opportunity to know and make up my own mind.

[Gail Stauffer]

every now and then, I always find it hard to talk about for some reason, not sure why, just need to get over that though, have been thinking about it alot, and hope to tell them more sometime.

[LindaTS]

Hi Gail,
I just finished reading your post then I had to check your profile. Then on to MySpace. Your story is so real. This can happen to almost everyone but you seem to be able to handle it well. Just keep going hon, never look back. Oh yes, I loved the music :) Take care.

[paulaN]

Gail I have always enjoyed your post and your pics Woo Hoo!!!!! If and when I ever get to Alaska I'm gona look you up. just to say Hi!!!!!!!

[Lori SC]

well they caught me, that was how they found out, unfortunately. they just don't understand it, or accept it. they ask now and then if I wan't to talk about it, I just find it hard though, not sure why, but I know I like my girl side.
that is why I feel a little isolated I guess, as it is hard to find others that understand. but I'm a pretty positive person and deal with that ok. there are others I chat with online as well so it helps too.

Of course it's hard to talk about Gail. Just look at all the CDs on this board who haven't even told their wives. So don't feel bad about not talking. It IS really hard, since we really don't understand everything about how we feel, or why we feel this way.

You don't say what your parents opinions are right now. Obviously less than thrilled when they caught you, but do you think they did some research, and are more accepting now? Or is it just that they are still trying to convince you about the "error" of your ways? If it comes up again, just ask them if they did any research on it. Your best information is that there are a LOT of us out there. You're in a big group.

As far as getting out. If anyone on this board could pass, it's you. So just drive off to the next biggest city a couple hours away and shop, dine out etc. No ones going to recognize you a few hours from home. (Unless you have a really unique car).

And don't forget vacations. Take one. Go to one of the 'cons. You will love them.

And when you need to talk to someone, we are here.:hugs:

Hugs, Lori

[Gail Stauffer]

thanks, one of these times I do hope to get to one of those conventions like SCC or something!!

[Jenny Wilson]

Hi Gail,

You aren't alone in Alaska. Back in 1999 or so I found the home page of a girl from Anchorage, so there's at least one more of us up your way. Finding each other is the problem.

Keep in mind that supposedly 10% of males are crossdressers. I often think of this when I'm in a group, such as down at the gun club, and wonder which of the other roughly three dozen guys who compete each week are fellow CDers. Or who else at a car rally are CDers? My driver? One of the service crew guys? Someone on a different team? One of the checkpoint workers? Ah, the mystery.

Maybe someday your parents will listen and talk about this with you.

Jenny

[Tamara Croft]

well they caught me, that was how they found out, Can I ask how old you were when they caught you? and have you tried since to explain to them what it means to be transgendered? or are they set in their ways, like most parents, and no amount of explaining will make them understand?

[jenniferj]

Hey sweetie,

I have been dressing a very long time and still hide it from everyone except my wife and the wonderful ladies (and gents) in this forum. I understand how alone you must feel.

The reason I mention this is that in the past few weeks I've started to talk to all of you (well, write to all all you) and it has made me feel so very much better. I am much more at peace with this, and much,much more relaxed. My "hubby" has noticed the difference and I think she may be a little sorry when we have to put JJ away for the first half of the summer.

Talk to us! We all pretty much know what you are experiencing and we are here to help you in any way we can.

Not that it matters, but you are a cutie!

Give yourself a big hug from me.

jj

PS. On my monitor the blue type is very hard to read - could you try a different color?

[vivianann]

I loved the pictures in your profile. I also liked the patriotic ones. great job.

[Alice B]

You should not feel bad abput who you are and what you want to do. But, I have been to Alaska a few times and I can see how tough it would be to be seen out and about. I don't know what part of the state you live in, but the smaller the town the tougher it would be. But stick to your desires. You are a very beautiful woman and should be proud of it.:love: