It's out - It's Over

[rocval2001]

Hey Girls - just wanted ot share that I go see a sex therapist on Monday - That information is out and my wife says it's over - but she knew I was questioning my gender for a long time and she wants to remain friends. She even stated that sometimes I talked like a girly girl - and my manerisms are more and more fem as I get older - I'm 46 and I may be on a trip to Valeri land for good. If you are interested I'll let you know how it goes.

Have a Great day
Hugs

Valeri

[CaptLex]

A sex therapist, not a gender therapist? :raisedeyebrow:

[Daintre]

Hi Valeri, two things, I agree with the Capt, shouldn't it be a gender therapist and second, yes, please keep me informed either by PM or by posting here about the progress you make.

[MJ]

A sex therapist, not a gender therapist? , i think you mean gender therapist

quote :- my wife says it's over - but she knew I was questioning my gender for a long time and she wants to remain friends.

i am sorry to hear that, being transgendered is not a death sentence , this will be a difficult road for a while hang in there , i have been down the same road as you , you have good and understanding friends here when you need help

quote :- I'm 46 and I may be on a trip to Valeri land for good

be sure you talk to your therapist? please don't get me wrong * don't do it unless this is a last resort !!! transition that is* forgive me but you have no idea what you are letting yourself in for ... be sure this is what you want
feel free to pm me

[rocval2001]

My original therpist refered me to him yes he is a gender theripist but the voice mail said it was sex therapy - sorry I did not know the difference - thank you for the information
I will post how my appointment went.

Val

[AmberTG]

I'm sorry to hear about your wife not wanting to be part of it. My ex wife didn't want to be part of it either, she was OK with me being TG and cross-dressing in front of her, but she didn't want to stay married. That's not what caused the divorce though, her seeing other men for the last 4 years of our 6 year marrage had a lot more to do with it. I only started seriously thinking about transition about a year ago, after about 3 years of her cheating on me.
Why did I stay so long you might ask? Hell, I have no idea now, I guess I was hoping things would change between us, but I was beating a dead horse for a long time, too stubborn to admit to myself that it was over.
Hmm, I think I was venting, sorry about that.
Anyway, a lot of women don't want to stay with someone who's not a "real man", apparently it does something to their sense of self worth or something, it's too bad really, but that's the way it seems to be for some women.
Good luck on your journey toward where you feel you need to go, just take it one step at a time and don't try to rush it.

[Calliope]

Hey, Valeri,

If your wife wishes to remain friends, then that's as good as it gets. Maybe your relationship will be even better. Fresher.

Watch out for therapists! They do it for the $, and you're in it for your life. OK?

Best to you!

[Sharon]

Good luck with your session, Valeri! :happy:

It's a shame about your wife, but she's really not unusual in her wishing to end the marriage. You can do worse than having her as a friend, however.




Watch out for therapists! They do it for the $, and you're in it for your life. OK?


If you're fortunate, you'll find a good therapist who not only does what they do to make a living (not many can afford to work for nothing) but who also really cares and is a good listener, confidant, and counselor. I know because I have a terrific one.

[rocval2001]

Cali & Sharon - thank you or the kind words - Today she told me that I will need a good friend if the therpist tells me guess what you're a girl - I think I believe it. There woudl be the horemons - the electrosis - the srs. This guy comes highly reccomended so I feel good going into it.
I am going to try to buy the house - I think I can swing it - so I offered her to stay as long as she needs - she agreed as long as I do not get werided out if she dates. I told her that I would be waiting up for her looking out the window. I will let you know.

Hugs
Val

[GypsyKaren]

Hi Val

I hope that all goes well with the therapist, sometimes it takes a few till you find one you're comfortable with. As far as moving forward, please do so slowly, the road of transition isn't easy.

Karen

[AmberTG]

The good thing about my therapist is that I don't pay her anything, she's a civil servant, paid by the Veteran's Administration. She has no hidden agenda, she works for the government. She's not a gender specialist, but she has worked with other TG patients, and I couldn't ask for a better therapist. We talk about all my issues, not just the gender issues. They all seem to be connected at some level, they all interact. To work on only one aspect of your life and ignore the others is not a good way to go about making your life better. If you only have 1 issue that makes you anxious and depressed, then you're way luckier then me. I also have to deal with not seeing my kids nearly enough, the loss of my second marriage, money issues, job issues, oh ya, lets throw the transgender thing in on top of all of life's other crap and see what kind of brain soup we come up with. At least I'm physically healthy, so far.
Val, I hope things go well for you with your therapist, they can be SO helpful to you in sorting out your "closet-full of junk"

[rocval2001]

OKAY - everyone - HE is certified since the mid 80's in this type of work - But the conversation today - seems to lean to I am just a lowly crossdresser. BUt I want to thank everyone for the support - I meet with him again next week. All you girls were great. But alas the marriage is still over. But we are going to ramain good friends - she just can not handle that part of me married.

Love
Valeri

[Kimkandy]

What about a half way stage take hormones and try being a *******.

Is your wife OK with you becoming a *******?

If you get that far and decide on full SRS fair enough just remain friends.

All I'm saying is find out what the real deal breakers are with your wife before you break up.

Kim

:dom: :gorgeous: :gorgeous: :gorgeous: