Thoughts on My Sister...

[Valerie Nicole]

I have been thinking a lot about my sister, and it's rapidly becoming clear to me that she has absolutely NO information on crossdressing and other TG issues. Before I get into this, I should mention that she doesn't know about this side of me. First of all, she puts way to much stock in stereotypes, as far as I'm concerned. She constantly labels people as straight or gay...and won't generally give me reasons for her beliefs. Usually, I suspect its feminine behaviour, which I believe can be just as indicative of CD/TG as it can of homosexuality.

The other day we were discussing the movie Shrek 2, and she says its inappropriate for children. When I asked her why (I already knew the answer) she told me because of the scene where Pinnochio is wearing a thong. I said what's wrong with that. She said the thong had sexual connotations. True. If it had ended there, the conversation wouldn't have bothered me. Then she added, "Also, it's a little kinky, because it's a man." This is where that conversation ended. I had to stop it there for fear of outing myself.

Finally, today, we were jokingly talking about me starting a political campaign. She asked me what I would do. I said "I don't know, something to do with tolerance." Then she told me that because I'm a white male, I wouldn't have much success in that field. A minute later, she added that I might have success if I were gay...as if the only issue of tolerance that applies to white males is homosexuality.

From this and countless other occurrences like this, I've come to realize that my sister has little to no understanding or awareness of crossdressing and transgenderism. I plan on coming out to her sometime in the next few months, but it's become clear to me that it would be very difficult to accomplish. It would take a lot of education and understanding...I would do my best, but I'm not sure I'd have the answers she'll need. Anyway, I just wanted to get all this out.

[Lori SC]

Jessica,

Remember that family ties are a lot different than when she is relating to people on the street. Since you are her brother, she may be a LOT more accepting of you - ar at least a lot more willing to hear what you have to say.

Let me ask you WHY you want to tell her? Do you need to tell her? If you don't need to tell her, then why do so? Sure, it gets the secret out, but if she never wants to speak to you again... then what? Maybe the status quo isn't so bad?

From your description, she doesn't have very liberal views, and that's going to make things more difficult for you. What's her age? The older, the more fixed her thinking will be.

Keep us posted.

Hugs, Lori

[Valerie Nicole]

She's 22 (going to be 23 this summer). Fortunately, I already have parents and a grandmother who accept and support me. I also have a counsellor with whom to discuss the best approach. As for telling her, there are a lot of practical reasons. Our rooms are right next to each other, and that means I can't dress much when she's home (for fear of her barging in on me unexpectedly). Since she's living at home for the summer, I have to seriously cut down on dressing. If she knew, I wouldn't have to conceal the fact that I shave my legs (meaning I'd be able to shave in the summer). I wouldn't have to hide it when I go shopping for clothes. Sure, it's a bunch of little things, but they are still good reasons, I think.

[flatlander_48]

From this and countless other occurrences like this, I've come to realize that my sister has little to no understanding or awareness of crossdressing and transgenderism. I plan on coming out to her sometime in the next few months, but it's become clear to me that it would be very difficult to accomplish. It would take a lot of education and understanding...I would do my best, but I'm not sure I'd have the answers she'll need. Anyway, I just wanted to get all this out.

I might broaden that out a bit further and add that she may not have much understanding or awareness about the world at large. When we're young, it is very easy to fall into certain behaviors. In your sister's case, she believe that she knows far more than she really does. Fortunately the world isn't so cut and dried or simplistic. However, it sounds like she will have a considerable opportunity for growth coming up real soon...

Good Luck!

[Victoria Anne]

Jessica I can understand your feelings/reasons for coming out to your sister as I too recewntly came out to my mother and sister. She is family and will be by nature more open to accepting you for who you are then the general populas.I wish you luck and would 'nt worry.

[ColleenCD]

Phil_Jessica,

I'm glad you mentioned her age, and I do agree with flatlander 48 that her youth is detering a broad scope of understanding. Your Mother may be your best resource for helping her accept you, since Mom is already on board, she may be able to open her mind a bit.

Colleen

[Seville]

C'mon. We've all said or done something "SWISHY" in our lives.
If she hasn't picked up on it, so much the better.

If your parents know, why wouldn't they have told your sister?
Ask them if she knows.

She'll be gone in a few months, perhaps you can hold off full
dressing for a while.

In my life, I've become completely estranged from my
ENTIRE family. Haven't seem them for decades.
Please think about the consequences before you act..
Please!

[GACountrygal]

I might broaden that out a bit further and add that she may not have much understanding or awareness about the world at large. When we're young, it is very easy to fall into certain behaviors. In your sister's case, she believe that she knows far more than she really does. Fortunately the world isn't so cut and dried or simplistic. However, it sounds like she will have a considerable opportunity for growth coming up real soon...

Good Luck!

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

cant really add anything more, Flatlander hit the nail on the head.

Nic

[Valerie Nicole]

We went to see Shrek 3 today...and OMG, you couldn't be more right, flatlander. She has concluded that the Pinnochio character in those movies is gay, based on two things that in reality have nothing to do with homosexuality. The first, as I have already mentioned, is the fact that he was wearing women's underwear in the second movie. The second was the fact that in this movie, he lied about liking dinner theatre. That is, he said he didn't like dinner theatre when he really did. She thinks these two things make Pinnochio gay. By her logic, I'm halfway there...I don't think so.

[marie354]

Oh... I have known people that acted as effeminate as could be... But, were straight as an arrow. Then, again... I've always acted as a tough dude all my life... Now I'm trying to "BE" effeminate. Go figure.
:hugs:

[trannie T]

Your sister is correct, Pinnochio in a thong is perverted. Otherwise she may be clueless.