The bad news

[Calliope]

Well, it's pretty happy here in sunny northern California - friendly town, nice boyfriend, great relationship with the kids - except ...

I'm at the half-way point in my "alimony" year and job hunting has been a bummer!

I never know if it's my age, or my resume gap from homemaking for 7 years, or ... ya know ...


Just today [from my blog]:


So, every day when I wake up, I hear children's voices on a playground.

Right across the street, there's a children's daycare center.

It's next to the Trinity Parish, presumably associated with such, so I think, "nah, no chance they'd consider me for a job."

But I am qualified for such a (low-pay) job.

So, I shower and dress, looking totally conservative and ready for children - I am ready for children; I'm about to go see mine - and take my resume into the main office.

The lady behind the counter is totally staring at me like I just buzzed in, presumably on erroneous coordinates, from another solar system.

"Try the other office, over in that building."

So I go to the other office. More stares. "Try the other office."

And, ya know, I'd say it was my own damn fault for being trans ...

But - I know - from my experience as a (guy) dad taking two little girls to the Northampton Children's Center where all the moms avoided me day in and day out - had I gone into the Trinity Parish as male as George Bush they would have responded to me just as icily.

Religious organizations do suck.

[kerrianna]

Hey hon, :hugs:, I know how demoralizing looking for work can be.

I agree, I think it had less to do with you than them.

In fact, pretty much ALL the time it has to do with them.

That's why it's important to shut that little doubting voice off in your head. When you go out into the world there are a zillion people and things that will grind you down, not always maliciously, but acting out of their own interests and reasons. It's really easy to blame ourselves for the way we get treated.

That's why it's important to go out into the world with OURSELVES as our best friends. Even when we do make mistakes we need to let it go and forgive ourselves. We need to love ourselves and radiate that out because it's that self-belief that makes people want to have you on their side.

I once got a job after months of fruitless searching by walking into a place and (out of character and for no reason other than trying a different approach) stating to the manager, "Today is your lucky day! I'm applying to work with you." with total conviction. They hired me on the spot. :D

So when you go out keep that mantra in your head. "Someone is going to get lucky, because they will get to hire me today."

Good luck Calliope. :hugs: I know things will work out for you. You are bright and resourceful, and anyone that hires you IS lucky to have you. :hugs:

[Kate Simmons]

So much for EEO, Hon. Still, I feel positive vibes coming through from your indomitable core self. You will find something soon, I'm sure of it.:hugs:Sal

[Calliope]

I once got a job after months of fruitless searching by walking into a place and (out of character and for no reason other than trying a different approach) stating to the manager, "Today is your lucky day! I'm applying to work with you." with total conviction. They hired me on the spot.

Yeh! Thanx for the upper!