So My Future X Wife Has Been Outing Me

[Tanya83]

She told all her friends...She told my sister...What the hell man!
I wish I never thought I could trust her.

Funny thing is...I really don't give a shit! What am I supposed to do? I am who I am.

So I guess the point of this is no point!! Just wanted to vent it is all...:D

[Dixie]

Vent baby, vent, and when you are done and people ask just say "yeah, and.......". I just hate the hate if you know what I mean.

[Daintre]

Tanya, I have been there, my ex made sure that all my family and our friends knew "the real" reason we were splitting, even though there were other problems, she needed to let others know that she was an innocent party. It was painful at the time, but I came through, you will to.

[KrazyKat]

Tanya, glad you can vent. Sounds like it won't be an easy divorce.

People who can't control their own lives often try to control others. But I guess you already know that, don't you!!??:happy:

Ying and Yang, Tanya, what goes around!! I truly believe as I've seen it happen so many times.

[Dixie]

Here, here Crazy Kat that is sooooo true.:thumbsup:

[AllieSF]

I must say that you have this venting thing down perfect. Just the right amount of words and done! I usually use a lot more words. You have a good attitude. Just remember we are still here when you need to vent more.

[cindychan]

Ya I've been outed to;( Just remember you are not alone:hugs:

[Tanya83]

Thanks gurls.

And to think I told her about this site in hope that she would become more accepting. Nope. We're all a bunch of freaks to her!

Oh well, next! LOL

[Cindyloo]

I've been outed by my ex as well. She told her entire family and she has a big family. It will get old and pass though. Hang in there Tanya.

[Dixie]

We are here for ya Gurlfriend. There is a song playing in the background ...lean on me, when your not strong, I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on...

[trannie T]

You wanted to be out anyway. Didn't you? As long as the cat's out of the bag make the best of it.

[Myst]

Its sad that often times, the people that we are closet to and think we can trust the most are the ones that we can't trust at all. No wonder some of us are so secretive about who we are.

-Myst :<3:

[RachelDenise]

Tanya, it's not fair that she's outted you. Those who know the real situation will see this as vindictive. Your friends will still be there for you. And as always, we are here for you. Enjoy the clean air!

[Angie G]

That not very nice of her good luck with you friend anf family hun :hugs:
Angie

[Kate Simmons]

Good advice. There are two ways are looking at something like this. You can be depressed and defensive and go around sullen and looking for "approval" or you can turn it to your advantage and become empowered and take ownership of yourself. I've learned to choose the latter.:happy:

[MJ]

Tanya i too was outed to everyone. so i look at it this way i don't have to hide anymore and i don't my ex did me a favor ..

so hold your head high and be proud of who you are

[Joy Carter]

What did they say about love and hate being so close ?
Just ignore her and get on with your life. She wasn't worth it and she proved herself so.

[lisablack44]

It was the best thing that ever happened to me, I now live my life for me, the way, I want. Life is way too short, to worry about conforming to others expectations. As I get older, and hopefully wiser, I don't ever tell anyone, anything, that cannot be made public.Human nature being what it is, has taught me no one can, or will keep a secret. It's very refreshing to get the toxic people out of your life and, I wish you good luck ! Remember... Keep Your head up and be proud!, and also, " If you can look up, you can get up !!!" Lisa

[Di]

Sorry ...hope you feel better after the vent:happy: Keep your head held high:hugs:

[Emily Ann Brown]

Welcome to the mean X-wives club sis. I do know one thing....there is freedom in being outted long term !


Emily Ann

[kay_jessica]

She told all her friends...She told my sister...What the hell man!
I wish I never thought I could trust her..............



Is it any wounder that we hide our femme sides. GGs take note when you have a go at us for the "lies"

[EricaCD]

She has saved you a tremendous amount of trouble in terms of deciding whether to preserve your relationship. And anyone who would so cruelly betray a confidence is doomed to fail in her next relationship as well.

OTOH if you want a cheap bit of revenge, next time one of her friends comes over (particularly one she is trying to impress), put on your ****tiest outfit and ... well, you get the idea.

[Dasein9]

I've been outed too. Sorry it happened to you, Tanya.

In a way, it was a good thing, since there were people who showed me support. But that doesn't mean it wasn't a betrayal by the person who did it, or that he ever deserves my trust again.

:hugs:

[CheriTV2006]

Tanya, been there too. Don't worry, there are always those who are secretly applauding us and just might be somewhat envious too. Take care, Cheri.

[AmandaM]

Tell everyone that she is gay and taught you how so she could climax. LOL

[Tamara Croft]

What a cow (I hope she reads this)... what goes around, comes around... There's nothing worse than a woman scorned as they say.. but outing the person you supposedly loved at some point?? just low... real low... spiteful, vindictive bitch comes to mind... :loser:

[Melinda G]

I've posted on this numerous times. Enjoy your crossdressing, but keep it to yourself. Do not come out to anyone. Those who are friends or SOs today, may not be tomorrow.
I'm sorry, but I just don't understand this need, so many of you have, to "come out" to someone. Nine times out of ten, it backfires. And once it's out, there's no taking it back.
Most of us don't understand what we do, so why should we expect anyone else to understand it. Women have all kinds of secrets. Why shouldn't we do the same!
This whole "coming out" business, is just a subconscious attempt to gain some kind of acceptance and approval for what we do.

[Eva Diva]

There was a television show a few years ago that did a segment on people using video cameras to watch their own houses. One guy broke up with his girlfriend and was suspicious about her for some reason. He set up a camera in his bedroom and caught his ex- taking out all his clothes and tearing them up. You could see the nutty anger in her as she struggled to get his shirts and slacks to rip.
That is one of the reasons that I'm happy to have put that relationship stuff in my past - no nutty girlfriends. :D And I really don't like the idea of resentful exes out there knowing my business.

[Michelle 51]

Well for better or worse you'll get a chance to be who you want to be and only you can decide how far that might be. God luck girl Justabit

[Josephine 1941]

Hi Tanya,

I hope my Ex outs me , then I can out her on how she got STD from her boy friend an tried to blame it on me . I came up NEGITIVE do not throw stones when you live in a glass house

Josephine

[Tamara Croft]

Hi Tanya,

I hope my Ex outs me , then I can out her on how she got STD from her boy friend an tried to blame it on me . I came up NEGITIVE do not throw stones when you live in a glass house

JosephineWhat do you think you will accomplish by playing games like that? An STD is soon forgotten, CD'ing isn't... I strongly urge you to rethink your logic, it could come back and bite you in the ass :eek: You have to remember what you have to lose, your ex - probably a bit of embarassment, you - you're life could be ruined!!

[Kiera20mi]

I haven't been outed, but my close firends know and my G/f encoureges me on ccasion to dress. We call it "secret" like i'd go up to her and say something like: i got a scret and she knows lol.
But keep your head up and if all else fail just think of it as an oppertunity to not have to build the couage to tell

[lindsaycd75]

I didnt tell my ex thank god. Cause when we split she told every on in out small town , my family, her family, everone, that we were in to bdsm.

[Kelsy]

There was a television show a few years ago that did a segment on people using video cameras to watch their own houses. One guy broke up with his girlfriend and was suspicious about her for some reason. He set up a camera in his bedroom and caught his ex- taking out all his clothes and tearing them up. You could see the nutty anger in her as she struggled to get his shirts and slacks to rip.
That is one of the reasons that I'm happy to have put that relationship stuff in my past - no nutty girlfriends. :D And I really don't like the idea of resentful exes out there knowing my business.

Acceptance with in a relationship is a good thing but if that relationship ends in a bad way, even for reasons other that the CDing, the "secret" is at risk.
A get even attitude makes all secret tales ammunition in a hurtful war!!
Be very careful who you tell unless you have nothing to lose..

Jennifer

[Seville]

Its sad that often times, the people that we are closet to and think we can trust the most are the ones that we can't trust at all. No wonder some of us are so secretive about who we are.

-Myst :<3:

My mother continually outed me as a teenager to family, friends,
and anyone who would listen. She put my stuff in shopping
bags to show everyone. It became her hobby.

The result: I've been completely estranged from everyone in
my "family". Haven't seen or heard from any of them for
decades now. Their decision, not mine.

[Josephine 1941]

Hi Tamara GG,

After 30 yrs of Marraige because she wants to fool around you think my life was OK . I find my self to be very lucky that I now live with a women that accepts me . I did not post that reply too start an argument she was the one that go her self into a problem, she knew about my dressing an it was the mine set of getting even, we all do it . My life was runied I just lucked out .

Josephine

[Stephenie S]

Well, my wife talks openly about me with her friends. I put no restrictions on her about me. NONE of them have become antagonistic and most of them remain quite friendly to me. So I think it won't matter much. Of course it helps that we still love each other.

Stephenie

[Sheri 4242]

Its sad that often times, the people that we are closet to and think we can trust the most are the ones that we can't trust at all. No wonder some of us are so secretive about who we are.

You are absolutely right!!! "Trust" is a major issue that so often becomes abused -- and abused by the sources we least think would do such a thing!!!


I've posted on this numerous times. Enjoy your crossdressing, but keep it to yourself. Do not come out to anyone. Those who are friends or SOs today, may not be tomorrow.
I'm sorry, but I just don't understand this need, so many of you have, to "come out" to someone. Nine times out of ten, it backfires. And once it's out, there's no taking it back.
Most of us don't understand what we do, so why should we expect anyone else to understand it. Women have all kinds of secrets. Why shouldn't we do the same!

Although I am fully out to my wife (and made sure I was before we headed to the alter, this was the second marriage for us both), I can tell you this much, my ex would have outed me in a heartbeat!!! (She tried and tried to find dirt to "out me" on -- and I have the evidence that she tried to do so. She wanted to do so to prove a point -- that she was good. Of course, how can any woman who has multiple affairs and leaves not only her husband but her children, not want to improve their image?!!

The fear, guilt, and shame that most all of us have lived with to some greater or lesser degree is often viewed as a warning to keep it quiet and hidden. I'll add this much, given a few situations I am personally and intimately aware of where an estrangement happened within family or with an extremely close friend, you truly might think you are safe with this person or that, but you aren't.


You wanted to be out anyway. Didn't you? As long as the cat's out of the bag make the best of it.

Did you want to be out anyway??? Frankly, if you don't want to be out, you can always answer any questioning or comments with a simple, "She said what? H'mmm. Well, I guess I understand her need to try and smear me, but I don't live with 'sour grapes' b/c life is too short, so whatever . . . my true friends will be my true friends, those that weren't won't, and this should be a closed subject." Period!!! If said with conviction and humility, this works without sounding vindictive -- even her closest of friends won't ultimately know what to believe. Like I said, my ex tried and tried to find dirt to be able to throw some my way. She finally made up something!!! I could have exploded!!! Heck, I could have sued for defamation -- and probably would have won big time!!! But I stayed calm and patient -- and always said it was too bad she had such a sour grapes agenda -- I was getting on with my life, wiser and greatly better. Sticking to this was a tremendous success!!!!!!! Twelve years later, I still have my true friends, and I even have some of her former best friends. Why the latter? The more time went by, and the more they saw her rant and rave, and the more they saw me calm and philosophic, the more believable my side became. The shame of it is, regardless of approach, you both will loose some in the long run -- you throw dirt at a feshly cleaned shirt and you have a dirty shirt.

[DeeGirl]

I am going through the divorce thing right now. My wife and I were together 14 years and I was convinced she told all her freinds about my CDing.

I was shocked to find out she told them nothing all those years. She did tell one of her close friends recently because no one (freinds/family) really understood why we where breaking up.

She was shocked that her freind said" No Way! That is so cool we need to take him out on a girls night out with us!" Not what she was expecting to hear...Its just amazing how some people our so more open open minded than others...

Anyway if it wasnt for the kids I am sure she would be telling everyone so she doesnt look like the bad guy in this split. They all know it is her idea to divorce they just dont know the root cause. (CD) We give them all the "we grew apart" line which is somewhat true but the bottom line is the CDing.

Sucks but it is what it is...

Good luck with your split I hope it all works out well for you. It is tough I know I am living it right now...

Dee

[kimberly_f37]

Vent Vent !!!!! Will my wife has done that to me too, to our friends and family and to say that i am ok with it now and I don't give a Shit Either on who knows anymore it just one step away to become ME and to change my life..
Keep Ur Head Up and All be OK later GIRL !!
This the place to be able to VENT VENT and we are All here for U !! :hugs:

Have A Great Day Girls !!

Kim

[Tamara Croft]

Hi Tamara GG,

After 30 yrs of Marraige because she wants to fool around you think my life was OK . I find my self to be very lucky that I now live with a women that accepts me . I did not post that reply too start an argument she was the one that go her self into a problem, she knew about my dressing an it was the mine set of getting even, we all do it . My life was runied I just lucked out .

JosephineI know you didn't :hugs: I just meant, she's probably not worth all the hassle :hugs:

[O2B Barbara]

I know what it is like, I went through the almost the same thing with an x.
Those that know me and are friends, stayed friends with no judgement. Those that chose to judge are not the kind of people that I like to be around anyway. Family can be a bit hard to expalin to and also have acceptance. Depends on how strong you are and your support team.

[beverlyct]

My wife has outed me to a few of our mutual friends. I didn't know at first until she was taking to one of them on the phone. That was about a year ago. I talked to one of them on the phone a few nights ago for about an hour. No mention was made of cross dressing but I did leave a few openings just to see what would happen.

I don't think it was fair for my wife to say anything before checking with me. She had done it out of spite. But so far (a year later) nothing negative from my friends or coworkers.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Tanya, sorry to hear about your "problem" if we can call it that. Make lemonade out of lemons and try to gain from this experience, don't hold a grudge this is her way of dealing with the pain she must be feeling about loosing your relationship. I can only guess this since I don't know any of the circumstances for the break up. This will give you a really good chance to educate your true friends and family about your crossdressing and the ones that don't want to have anything to do with it were not really friends anyway.
I know it will be tough for a while so just hang in there and wear your best outfit out for the night to celebrate your liberation.