Being uncomfortable

[lori gg]

Can a CD be changed from CD because their SO does not like them CD?

[Karren H]

NO!!!

Karren

[Julogden]

Can a CD be changed from CD because their SO does not like them CD?
Simple answer: no. A CD will always be a CD, whether she/he dresses or not.:2c:

If the CD really wants to stop dressing, they may be able to, for a while anyway, but there will probably be bad consequences for the CD as a result of submerging an important part of their personality, and that can cause major problems in the relationship too.


Carol:hugs:

[Bridget Fitzgerald]

Happens all the time. They go from CD to unhappy.

[kay_jessica]

I don't think you can change want a person is. I'm not sure any one has the right to change what a person is, however, I suppose it is possible for an individual to suppress their CD feelings in deference to another. But then it is dishonest. Many GGs indicate that it is the "lies" that cause problems between them and their CD partner. OK it may be true that many CDs hide their femme side, it is true that this can be seen by some as lying. But if a CD suppresses that part of him in deference to another then the other person is forcing the CDer to lie to himself. This can only lead to more stress and turmoil for the CDer. Many CDers indicate that dressings is a way to be them selves. If you want your CD partner to stop being a CD, to suppress that part of himself, to lie to himself so that you feel better then you have got to find something else that will replace that aspect of his personality. I had been fighting this for 30 plus years, I did not find anything in my life to surplant it.

[EricaCD]

Nope! If you want to do a huge amount of damage to your relationship, you might be able to hinder-or even stop-your significant other from dressing or otherwise manifesting his desire to dress. However, he will still be a crossdresser. If you want to maximize the likelihood of a happy relationship, you with both need to figure out some level of mutual accommodation. You absolutely have a right to meaningful input in that discussion. You do not, however, have a right (IMO) to just say "no."

[stormrider]

Gee Lori, that is a tough question to generalize when you are working with so many different people and personalities. Some have more control than others over their wants and needs. Speaking from my own experience, I never could walk away from crossdressing though I tried so many times. It wasn't until after separating from my first wife that I came to grips with the fact that I am transgendered. Even then, I so enjoyed being married that I went through another purge and another marriage vowing to quit. After I told my second wife she had to leave(not as cruel as it sounds, honest), I finally accepted that I have to give in to who I really am, a transgender who I call Michelle. I believe in the institution of marriage, but I have given up on the idea that I will ever have a woman in my life again. That is how strong the female person is in my body.
I read threads of other crossdressers who are just that, crossdressers. They are males, or females, who just enjoy putting on clothes of the other sex. Could they give it up? I am not sure, probably, but I can imagine it would be like giving up smoking or the like(not being a smoker I wouldn't really know). I guess if someone did it just for a good time, it wouldn't take very much willpower if the relationship meant more than the sacrifice.
What I am saying here Lori is that if you are dealing with a CD, you and the CD need to sit down and have an honest discussion about how the desire originates. Then you both have to take it from there. Frankly, it may be that the need outweighs the ability to stop, or the want is stronger than the desire to be with you. Either way, you can't compare your relationship with anyone else's. Good luck girl, and take care.

Michelle

[StephanieH]

:2c: CD'ing is much like anything else in life, it can be controlled by someone with enough willpower, but that doesn't mean the person is going to be very happy about it.

If you simply cannot accept your hubby's desire, and he loves you, he likely will stop dressing, but the desire to do so will not go away. Like others have said, this can lead to trouble down the road with depression, resentment, stuff like that which is very deadly to a relationship.

If you love him, I would strongly urge you to find a happy place somewhere in the middle, some place he can have enough freedom to dress in moderation and respect your boundaries, and someplace that you can be comfortable and allow him some freedom to fulfil this other side of himself.

For what it's worth, in talking to wives of other CD'ers, once there is a pact of sorts between hubby and wife, the relationship gets a lot stronger because of a seriously ramped up trust factor. It certainly seems to have worked that way for me and my wife. I'm a much happier all-around person now and I can't spend enough time with her.

Communicate and learn, and don't throw your relationship away just because this seems too strange on the surface of things. If you fell in love with this guy, remember, he's still that same guy. If you take something out of what made him that guy, he's going to change in every respect, not just one area.

Take care and good luck! :D

[Mary Morgan]

Lori, I suppose one can change to clothing, but the need, the desire, the fulfillness of a life cannot be changed without minimizing, hurting, perhaps destroying the person inside. The clothing is a manifestation of that inner person, and an important element in the wholeness of that person. I would say no.

[Marcie Sexton]

Not going to happen !!! We will always be what we are, just a matter of how and when we dress...either out of a closet, or OUT of the closet...:2c:

[MJ]

NO we can't change who we are

[Dixie]

I can't change, Heck I don't even want to and niether does my wife. She made me I am hers:doll::dom:

[susie evans]

nope a lot of us have tried and failed :hugs:

susie

[Siobhan Marie]

NO we can't change who we are

You're right there Marissa.

:hugs: Anna x

[Daintre]

Well Lori, I think you got an overwhelming "NO" to that question. It is one that circulates very often....Many of us would like to stop with or without a plea from a loved one, however, the desire to dress isn't a simple one. We can all stop for short while, but you will find that depression, mood swings and unhealthy behavior takes its place.

[Leah B]

It's a fool's errand. CDing is ruggedly persistent. Trust me, he has probably fought this more than you know, but CDing makes you pay if you try to stifle it too much.

[Ashleigh]

I have never talked to or met a CD who has successfully stopped. I have been dressing in some form for 45 years and have tried to stop countless times during my life only to end up miserable and start again.

I recently read an article on the 2 most likely theories on why people cross dress which I am trying to locate again for you and others on this forum. It said that there is no widely accepted theory as of yet but two theories have recently come to surface which had the most credibility. Both theories addressed certain occurances during fetal development. As I read them, I found myself saying "that explains a lot and makes all kinds of sense." Some dress for sexual stimulation, some for relaxation, and so on. A 5 year old does not do that. I started at 5. How do I know? I remember where we were living when I was frequently getting in my mothers under clothes, dresses, shoes, and swimming suits as I grew older (age 8-10) (I had no sisters).

There are as many stories out there as there are CDs as to why they started. Most are, and I seriously believe this after doing extensive research, born with the tendency albeit at different levels. I played with the girls in the neighborhood when I was little almost exclusively instead of the boys although I had some guy friends. It was at that time that my parents started to notice something was different about me.

I guess I am taking the long way around to say that a person can stop if they want to bad enough but it may not be the thing to make them most happy or pleasant to be around. We all need to be allowed to be who we are.

:doll:

[thea]

No, Lori. Examine what it is you love about the partner, and do a lot of personal searching about the give and take within a relationship. Some things an individual can accept even if she or he doesn't like it, and then can even grow to appreciate it, and maybe like it, too, for it can go a long way in revealing what's unique about the individual (and yourself, too). I was all set to give a snide answer, then I noticed you're a gg asking a serious question, so that response will wait for another thread.

[AmandaM]

I don't think it's possible unless it's only a fetish and they get some sex therapy. But, if they have "any" female identity, which most TV's do, then the suppression does more harm than good. Course, he could take Prozac for the rest of his life or something, but do you want him harmed psychologically?

[Stephenie S]

No.

And it is not like smoking, which is a physical addiction. CDing is not a physical addiction. We are not sure what it is, but we are all sure of one thing, you can't give it up. Put it off? Sure. But leave it forever? No way, Jose! Well, you can die. But that's not what we are talking about, is it?. Every one of us has tried at some point to give it up. This is the collective voice of experience speaking here, and it is the experience of every one of us, "You can't give it up to please another person".

Lovies,
Stephenie

[suzy]

Nope. Not and be happy.....can't happen....

[Sandra]

Lori,

You can try to change a CDer but it will be trying to stop something that is in the CDer and something that the CDer needs to do.
You have to try and find a happy medium that suits both parties

[Nadine]

No, a CD cannot give up their lifestyle. I know because I have often tried over the last 60 years that I have been crossdressing off and on. Each time that i tried to change my lifestyle it came back with an even stronger "force" than before.

By the way, I have been crossdressing since the age of about 4 or 5 when I used to borrow my friend's clothes. Sometimes I would manage to give it up for a fairly long period - like when I did my military service - but I was never happy during these periods. I always longed to be a woman and do feminine things.

No, once a CD, always a CD (or a transgenderist)!

[Di]

It is for the most part...a part of them...something they prob have struggled with their entire life. If you care for him...and you being here shows you must...you can find what works for the TWO of you....even if it ...dressing and you not getting involved with it...like example finding time while you are at work or out busy with something................but talk.....and see what works for the two of you.

[Emily Ann Brown]

Lord knows I tried faced with a "Quit or get out " choice.....5 1/2 months, felt like a lifetime. So my personal answer is no. The harder I tried the worse it got.

I found a fellow on the internet a while back who claims to have quit....says God did it in him (and I believe that if it's possible it will be by God's power)....couldn't get an answer back from him though. Has he gone back now? Could be. Have seen a couple others who claim they have ( or can), but they seem miserable, and quietly talk of how long since the last "slip".

Emily Ann

[marie354]

For The longest time, every time I met a new girl, I said to myself... "Will this be the one that will make me not feel the need to dress?" Never happened.
It's like ice cream... Can you say that you will never eat any more of it?

Once a CDer, always a CDer. I'd tried many, many times... Threw out all of my nice dresses and such... Only to buy more again. And again... And again... Until, one day it dawned on me that I couldn't stop even if I really wanted to.

The simple answer is... Don't even try to stop it because you can't. There isn't a pill or potion for it either.

So just go out and buy him a new dress and start talking. Then sit down and talk, talk, and talk some more until the both of you have an agreement that you can live with. You can work out something if you want to.
:hugs:

[Deborah]

I agree with everyone else. Once a CD/TG/TS always a CD/TG/TS.

[Ashley_1962]

I agree that "NO" is the answer...

Not sure what you can equate it to, it's not like alcoholism (athough I suspect someone is working on the 12 step program to stop crossdressing..),

it's more like a genetic "twist" that can perhaps be temporarily suppressed, but can't be undone.

[laura47]

No ...
This CDing will most likely be with you all of your life .... Maybe some of the others might be able to explaine why
Just look at all the post(s) of how old we were when CDing started and how long we have dressed

[Carin's Wife GG]

from a wife who wished for many years that *it would just go away*. The suffering I put my darling Carin through is unspeakable. It is not a *habit* like smoking, it is not an addiction like alchoholism. It is truly a piece of who the transgendered are and will always be.

To *make* or *control* a TGs dressing is tantamount, IMO, to destroying the essence of who that person is, both inside and out. It is also, IMO a deathknell for any kind of healthy growing relationship.

Louise.

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

Its possible that you can "suggest" they give it up :o and like most have said , it might go away for awhile , but it will always remain "there" . & with c/d sometimes theres a chain reaction, wanting to stop/& having to stop are both massive things to achieve :rolleyes:
Just hang in there , it will take time , and there will be good and bad days :hugs:

[Sweet Jane]

I know that I have always felt, from about 8 years old anyway, that somehow I got the girls brain in the guys body..I don't dress that frequently, BUT I only feel that true sense of being me, when I am dressed.
As for not dressing, yes, there have been gaps where I never dressed thinking its all behind me. Then the overwhelming urge to feminise myself comes back, and really until I satisfy that urge (for as long as it takes), I feel the need to dress, so I do.
I suppose if you are unhappy with a CD partner, just talk, without being confrontational...goodness me, I don't know the WHY I dress. I just know that its always been me to dress. Its never been for some quick sex reason..its always been to just express the side of me I spend 95% of my life repressing. It is just me.

[Lady Phoenix]

Hes probably been struggling with this longer then you may ever know and the fact that hes talking to you about it now means hes probably come to terms with it himself.
The Genies out of the bottle now, probably wont have much luck in getting her back in it.

[brenya]

I have no idea but being shunned when people find out I cd is one of my biggest fears

[Lazee]

I have visited this site on and off for a long time now and feel compelled to answer your question. My opinion is yes your SO could change. But the change has to come from within them.

You see I was much like everyone else. I began crossdressing early in my life. In fact I crossdressed even after I was married. I secretly purchased several complete outfits including shoes, wig, make-up, lingerie everything. I hid my stash in the attic for many years. I would occasionally dress up when I was alone and sure that I wouldn’t be interrupted. I even took a few late night drives. At a time, many years ago, I was obsessed with dressing and it was controlling my life.

Then I realized the risk I was taking. I thought long and hard about what could happen if my wife found out or someone else. I decided it wasn’t worth the risk anymore. I cherished my wife, family and career far more than the risk of being found out. Ten years ago I decided to purge my belongings and have never looked back.

Yes, I miss the thrill of it but I don’t regret my decision. Sure I still cruise web sites about crossdressers and looking at women’s fashions. I still have fantasies about dressing and living as a woman but I drew the line between fantasy and reality. I am embarrassed to admit that I probably know more about women’s fashion than most genetic girls. I once considered myself as a crossdresser but I don’t now because I am not actively acting it out. Will I ever crossdress again? Maybe so, but for now I am totally content with who I am.

[Tree GG]

... My opinion is yes your SO could change. But the change has to come from within them.... Maybe so, but for now I am totally content with who I am.

:confused::hypnotized::idontknow:

I'm stunned........speechless........a truly divergent behavior pattern.......is this for real?

[RobertaFermina]

Lori,

I can only speak for myself.
I haven't tried to quit - I'm having too much fun, and actually growing as a Human Being through CrossDressing.
Even though my daughter (age 23) is disturbed by it...I have decided it is my life and until she moves out we will have to fashion a compromise.
Compromise is as far as I'm willing to go.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Angie G]

No if the idea comes from a so or wife it will make problems down the road Can some woman give up there soaps or eating chocolate what would she be like in 6 months :hugs:
Angie

[Rita B]

No, never, not, amen , ever. I can't dress. My wife would not tolerate it. Besides I live right next to her daughter and family. Nevertheless, even in drab, I am still in femme mode. When ads come on the TV for feminine products, I watch with interest wishing that I could buy these products. When I go out somewhere and see a pretty classy lady I still wish I were she. . .and i am not ashamed to say that I am collecting SS

Hugs to you all, Rita

[Lazee]

:confused::hypnotized::idontknow:

I'm stunned........speechless........a truly divergent behavior pattern.......is this for real?

Yes its real! Sorry if I ... shook your tree :lol:.

[kay_cd]

I started wearing my sis's clothes at about 5. I am another buy and purge, buy and purge. I finally just came to the conclusion that it was very much a part of who I am as a being. I can charm the socks off of women the more I let my femme side show through as well. (Have never figured that one out!)

My ex gave me an excellent piece of advice when she told me to be quickly honest about being a cd when I met someone new. I was and that is a whole other wonderful story.

I guess if I had one wish it would be to explain that being cd is a wonderful part of what makes me who I am and is very much a part of what makes me a very loving and kind and gentle person.

[Cassy11]

No, plain and simple.

[renee99]

You know, in a vacuum it would be difficult to characterize crossdressing as an "addiction" as Lazee put it. If nobody batted an eye, what harm would it do? Don't for a second think that there's something wrong with you in the sense that drug addicts are sick, just because you have these feelings that you want to express. What is wrong is that your wife, family, and career depend on the repression of those feelings, so you are forced to make a choice between living an authentic life and being a provider. It's not just wrong, it is sad.

I hope you remain active even in stealth in trying to change society's repressive attitudes. A lot of former CD just jump on the evangelism circuit and try to convert other CDs to non-CDing, or join society in mocking those who dare to openly express themselves.

[MarissaCDinRI]

Well I think if you love your SO enough, you can supress your CD feelings and they may eventually go away. Its really a matter of prioritizing

[battybattybats]

Yep, I could give up if I tried just like Ted Haggard... oh, wait...

Expecting or even asking someone to repress something that is not in itself at all wrong.. asking someone to risk psychological harm... how can that be fair or right? Negotiating fair expression is one thing, demanding repression is something else.

Beyond that this 'if you love someone enough' idea just has to go. What evidence is there for it? Isn't it about time to just let that belief go?

Just because I cannot pluck the moon from the sky doesn't mean that my love is wanting, it just means that the moon is a giant mass of stone, dust and ice locked in orbit beyond my reach and capacity to shift. If I were to run a marathon against a professional marathon runner and I lost, does that mean that my faith or desire or belief in myself is less than theirs? No, it just means that their limbs and joints and skill at running marathons are stronger/better than mine.

Isn't the 'if you love enough' just an excuse? If they succeed then they have proven their devotion and if they fail you can discard them as they didn't want it enough? It disregards the possibility of a real physical world and assumes everything is malleable to emotion and will which is just not so.

How many have torn their inner landscape to shreds because they thought they didn't 'love enough' their family, tradition or god because they couldn't stop something that was outside their personal capacity to stop?

How many deaths, how much suicide, how much depression and anguish, how many smashed families and crushed hearts, how many ruined dreams have been caused because of this belief?

[Seville]

No!!!

I have never tried to change. Crossdressing has made me a
complete whole person.

Why would I ever want to go back to 50% OR LESS of
a person?

[Stephenie S]

"Sure I still cruise web sites about crossdressers and looking at women’s fashions. I still have fantasies about dressing and living as a woman but I drew the line between fantasy and reality. I am embarrassed to admit that I probably know more about women’s fashion than most genetic girls. I once considered myself as a crossdresser but I don’t now because I am not actively acting it out. Will I ever crossdress again? Maybe so, but for now I am totally content with who I am."



And this from someone who has put it all behind him. I think not, sweetie.

Steph

[Stephenie S]

Yep, I could give up if I tried just like Ted Haggard... oh, wait...

Expecting or even asking someone to repress something that is not in itself at all wrong.. asking someone to risk psychological harm... how can that be fair or right? Negotiating fair expression is one thing, demanding repression is something else.

Beyond that this 'if you love someone enough' idea just has to go. What evidence is there for it? Isn't it about time to just let that belief go?

Just because I cannot pluck the moon from the sky doesn't mean that my love is wanting, it just means that the moon is a giant mass of stone, dust and ice locked in orbit beyond my reach and capacity to shift. If I were to run a marathon against a professional marathon runner and I lost, does that mean that my faith or desire or belief in myself is less than theirs? No, it just means that their limbs and joints and skill at running marathons are stronger/better than mine.

Isn't the 'if you love enough' just an excuse? If they succeed then they have proven their devotion and if they fail you can discard them as they didn't want it enough? It disregards the possibility of a real physical world and assumes everything is malleable to emotion and will which is just not so.

How many have torn their inner landscape to shreds because they thought they didn't 'love enough' their family, tradition or god because they couldn't stop something that was outside their personal capacity to stop?

How many deaths, how much suicide, how much depression and anguish, how many smashed families and crushed hearts, how many ruined dreams have been caused because of this belief?

Batty, if I could print this in gold for all to read I would. Truer words are seldom spoken. You have hit it right on, girl.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Sheri 4242]

NO!!!

Karen: Now that's the epitome of a succinct answer! Clear, unambigious, and definitely succinct -- oh yeah, and correct!


Happens all the time. They go from CD to unhappy.

Unhappy with themselves, unhappy with life, unhappy with dreams and aspirations (that may not even have a thing to do with CDing). Uhappy = depression!


from a wife who wished for many years that *it would just go away*. The suffering I put my darling Carin through is unspeakable. It is not a *habit* like smoking, it is not an addiction like alchoholism. It is truly a piece of who the transgendered are and will always be.

To *make* or *control* a TGs dressing is tantamount, IMO, to destroying the essence of who that person is, both inside and out. It is also, IMO a deathknell for any kind of healthy growing relationship.

Louise: From Karen's succinctness to your statement -- wow! LORI: what Louise just said is probably THE most heartfelt thing I have ever seen on here!!!!!!! In just a few words, she has given you a comprehensive answer that responds to what you ask, plus adds what a denial does to the person and the relationship!!!

[Holly]

Can a CD be changed from CD because their SO does not like them CD?Can an SO be changed from not liking their partner's CDing?

[Sheri 4242]

". . . it is not like smoking, which is a physical addiction. CDing is not a physical addiction. We are not sure what it is, but we are all sure of one thing, you can't give it up. Put it off? Sure. But leave it forever? No way, Jose! Well, you can die. But that's not what we are talking about, is it?. Every one of us has tried at some point to give it up. This is the collective voice of experience speaking here, and it is the experience of every one of us, "You can't give it up to please another person".

Not only is it not a physical addiction, it isn't an emotional or psychological addiction (Sorry, DSM-IV-TR -- *ahem*). It is a condition of unknown origin -- most likely biological/genetical, and/or physiological. Perhaps socialization plays a role, in re nurturing. Perhaps it is some combination. Bottom line: You might can get a person to repress it, but since it is imprinted, it will always be there whether the outward and visible expression of the true inner self is allowed or not.

[trannie T]

You can change a crossdresser, I'll tell you how as soon as I change my fish into an elephant.

[Carin]

When we near the end of our time on this earth,
When we only have the energy to reflect on our life
When we reflect on our contributions to this world
When we consider if we made the most of our lives
When we consider if we helped others to make the most of their lives
When we consider the quality of the relationships we formed with our loved ones


Will we say that we are proud of what we did with what life gave us?, or will we wish that we had not suppressed what life gave us.

We are what we are. Make the most of it while you can. You can take the clothes from the person, but you can not change the person. When all is said and done, why would you want to?

[MsJanessa]

No!!

[Dixie]

You Love Somebody
Save their soul
tie them to your heaven
erase their hell
love the lifestyle
if you feel it
don't try to change them
you never will
From Long Distance Winner by Stevie Nicks, just seems to fit here.

[renee99]

Well I think if you love your SO enough, you can supress your CD feelings and they may eventually go away. Its really a matter of prioritizing

Prioritizing is one thing, all of us are expected to do that. Saying that "If you only loved me enough, you'd do X" is just a typical test, and shows that the person issuing the test really isn't in love, but wants to see how much they can control, because sometimes control is satisfying enough to replace love...

[Rachel Morley]

Yes, as Holly says ... it's a two way street. Can you also completely change? .... the answer to that is also probabaly a no. Just like any other difference of opinion in the world, the two parties involved have to sit down together and try to figure out a solution - that's if they are motivated enough to want to do so. You have to find out what it is that is really and truly is the root cause of you not liking it. Is it really the clothes? ... or is it what it represents? ... or is it something else? ... or does it simply just turn you off? :strugglin:

My own personal opinion is that I have ever (yet) met a CDer yet who was able to totally and completely stop everything, even though they really wanted to. There have been several who were able to temporarily stop dressing (sometimes for even years at a time) - but it is still in your mind, it never ever goes away from your thoughts - and the fact that you can't dress, makes you think about it that much more often, which in turn messes you up in your head. There's so much conflict. :( :(

One thing's for sure, there's no easy solution - it's part of what makes us who we are. It's in our nature to be this way, just like other people in the world are other ways - they can't help it, and neither can we.

[phoebe61]

THERE IS MORE CHANCE OF DRUGIE OF QUITING WITH NO SIDE AFFECTS
PERSONALALY I WOULD RATHER BE WITHOUT A ARM OR A LEG THAN STOP CD'ING :cry:
DONNA:be:

[juliauklondon]

If crossdressing was successfully removed from my personality ,I doubt I would be recognisable as the same person. It is not just the act of putting on different clothes. This activity is intrinsically linked to my psyche, including those aspects which my SO finds most appealling .. such as my humour, my kindness and my liberalness. I suspect this would be true of many others.

I recognise this is not the type of answer that a gg would like to hear. However I for one do not do this to make other people unhappy. I am not a bad person for doing this , supressing it causes me a level of personal anxiety which is very difficult to explain. When the symptoms of the anxiety are expressed. my behaviour might be less acceptable than the crossdressing I'm trying to supress.

julia

[vivianann]

no matter how hard you try, the desire does not go away.

[susiej]

no matter how hard you try, the desire does not go away.

This is my reaction too, of course. I gave up giving up a long time ago.

Just a note of caution, though. We are all TG/TS/TV (aack, let's not have another semantics thread :) !!), and we're still here, so we may represent a biased sample. Maybe there is a legion of folks out there who found True Love, and it changed their lives so much that they chucked all their undies, dresses and shoes in the dumpster, and never looked back. Since they're not here, they aren't telling us they exist.

But, from my experience, I doubt it.

Hugs,
Susie

[Lisa Golightly]

No doubt they say they have... but deeds and thoughts are two quite different things.

[tina_cd48]

There may be a bias among this audience, so I agree with susie. Someone who could magically stop cd'ing and go on to something else probably wouldn't be on this board in the first place.

that said, cd'ing is part of a personality and the more one tries not to do it, the more power it takes, so it returns. Better not to push against it, but find a way to accept..

[O2B Barbara]

I have done the "purge" a few times and the only thing I was able to acomplish is a loss of some very nice clothes!

Barbara is now here to stay........

[alshea243]

no you cannot stop coss dressing i knew a good friend who thought he could.he was so miserable.my friend got very depress then one day his so found him he commited sucide i will never stop cd because i seen first hand what my friend gone through when he quit cd and try to change who he was realy is on the inside

[battybattybats]

I'm sorry for your loss Alshea.
:hugs:

If it was so easy to stop permanantly, or even if it were merely very difficult, then the scientific world, the medical proffession, would show that, would tell us that. They instead tell us that whereas drug addiction can and should be kicked that crossdressing isn't the same.

Instead it's more like sexuality. You can no more stop being a crossdresser inside than you can stop being strait or gay. Just look at Ted Haggard, all his life he struggled with gay desires, suffering because of that struggle. Sure there are plenty of people who claim to be 'cured' and many of them return to it or kill themselves too.

When/if the vaccination against addiction gets released (they are working on it now) it won't cure homosexuality or heterosexuality and it won't cure transexuality or transvestism either.

[Dixie]

NEWS FLASH!!! You can change a Crossdresser,...............From one dress to another:heehee: