Recent Experience Shopping

[Donna506]

To this forum I am a senior in age, but a novice in knowing the fine art of dressing for presentation. I recently got my first pedicure based on my wife's recommendation of how wonderful it would be. She was right. Although I did not get color on my toenails, I did get the clear finish. To further revel in the new look of my feet, I decided it was time to buy some undergarments, hosiery, and shoes. Although I have read that many of your SOs and other sympathetic females have been helpful, that is not an option for me. However, my wife knew I was going and preferred not to know what I was buying. My first stop (in drab) was Target. I went to the Ladies Department dressing area and asked the lady on duty if she had ever helped CDs. When she said no, I asked if she was open to it or could refer me to another of her coworkers. She immediately said she would like to help me. I asked if she really had any misgivings and would laugh at me later. She assured me she was OK with helping and even shared that she had recently seen a television program of transgender issues. After helping me pick out several bras and panties, she suggested I go in a dressing room and try them on. I did and she kept checking back with me to be sure I was doing OK. Luckily, they all fit well and I left with them, along with hosiery. My next stop was a Payless Shoe Store nearby. I asked the young lady on duty similar questions about helping CDs. She led me to the area where the size 12 shoes were. I sat down, put one of those disposable footies on, and started trying shoes on. She commented several times that I had pretty feet and found some "cute" wedge shoes for me to try. I agreed and took them. I wound up buying only two pairs because of their limited supply. She indicated that their other nearby Payless store had a larger supply and even bigger sizes. I went there and using the same introduction, began trying on shoes. This time I got 4 pairs. Keep in mind these are cheap shoes and will serve to get me started in learning to walk in heels. Maybe the name brand expensive shoes are next.

I know this is long. I just needed to share. After my successes, I have concluded that appearing in drab and explaining to the sales associate that you are a crossdresser is not really hard. I would think that lying about your purchases would be detected by the sales associate. I also think that appearing dressed would also set off alarms to not only the sales associates, but to other women shopping there. Bottom line--honesty.

[Dixie]

Cool, I'll have to try that today.:D

[joann07]

Great job!
If you're open about it, and don't beat around the bush, people won't be surprised.

[renee99]

These kind of posts would be a lot more helpful if you mentioned the general location... my experiences in a big city in the Bible Belt have been much the opposite.

[Dixie]

Well I did it I tried it I shopped in drab on the outside Very femme underneath got alot of great help but alas, could not find what I wanted in my size. All the sales girls actually seemed "extra" nice almost flirty.

[Donna506]

I thought about giving the location after posting. It was in Raleigh, NC. It qualifies for the Bible Belt. I also thought of one other point I made with the sales people. I explained that as a crossdresser, I can not be cured from my need to dress. I think I may have called it an afliction. I think it worked for me because I was honest and she could see that I looked like a normal person, instead of some freak. I suggest you try it. I also did not feel anxious. I was able to treat it as any other purchase in any other department. I would be interested in hearing more comments on what happens when you try it. I would also not expect to get the same quality of service when the store is crowded. I went after noon on Monday.

[Billijo49504]

Up here in the rust belt, just go into the store and ask for help, or help your self. And just because Payless isn't expensive, doesn't mean that their shoes are going to fall apart. But if you are looking for more expensive shoes, try Avenue. They go to 13...BJ

[Wenda]

I have had the same experience, and have never gone shopping en femme. The only time it was a bit awkward was when I took a couple skirts and ladies pants to the men's change room, to find the attendant was a teenaged boy. He was SO embarassed. I have found some of my favourite shoes at Payless, and one store near me has an entire size 12 section, not just a handful of shoes. w.

[Seville]

I also thought of one other point I made with the sales people. I explained that as a crossdresser, I can not be cured from my need to dress. I think I may have called it an afliction. I think it worked for me because I was honest and she could see that I looked like a normal person, instead of some freak.

SAs don't want or need to be lectured to! Just conduct your
business in a responsible way and leave.

BTW, I got thrown out of a Family Dressing Room at Target
dressed in DRAB. The old lady noticed I had a dress in with
the boy clothes. Oh Well....

[Donna506]

SAs don't want or need to be lectured to! Just conduct your
business in a responsible way and leave.

BTW, I got thrown out of a Family Dressing Room at Target
dressed in DRAB. The old lady noticed I had a dress in with
the boy clothes. Oh Well....

I did not lecture the sales people. I started a conversation dialog with them. Based on the things they said, I could determine if they were sincere. In the course of the conversations, when appropriate, I elaborated on my need to dress. At no time would I treat them in an irresponsible way. Many shared other instances where they had interaction with other CDs. I felt it was an attempt to convey an acceptance to what I was doing and their willingness to help me.

[Mitch23]

I did not lecture the sales people. I started a conversation dialog with them. Based on the things they said, I could determine if they were sincere. In the course of the conversations, when appropriate, I elaborated on my need to dress. At no time would I treat them in an irresponsible way. Many shared other instances where they had interaction with other CDs. I felt it was an attempt to convey an acceptance to what I was doing and their willingness to help me.
way to go - just be natural. sometimes our own fears and insecurities can come across as standoffishness or we can be trying to 'make our case' by using the poor old SA as an emotional battering ram. after all they are suddenly placed in a situation where they have to examine their own attitudes and value systems. some may never have given it a thought. I doubt if they have training in dealing with CDs but im sure they have training in how to deal with minority groups of which we are one!

mitch

[FrannieGrl]

Donna,
I have shopped in Macys, Wal-mart and some second hand shops.
I have found it difficult to fins size 12 or 13 shoes at SRI or at the
Payless at the discount outlet mall in Morrisville.

Please tell me which Payless You found Your shoes, Please.
Frannie

[JoAnnDallas]

Way to go sis.......I too have found that shopping while in drab is not a big deal. If you read my long post, you will see what I mean. I went to our local Walmart, browsed the shorts and matching tops they had out. I even held the skort up to my waist to see how it looked. A female Walmart SA walked by, smiled, and went on. No one said anything to me, no one made any comment that I could hear. I then tried on some shoes and bought a pair. Also got a new watch and earrings too. Our Walmart does not have any of the self checkout stations, so had to check out at a regular station. If you read my post, I outed myself to the check out lady and she was cool with it too. When I left, we echanged fem parting remarks. She called me "dear" and I called her "sweetie".
where CD's get into trouble is when they shop in drab and look nervious and such. This creates suspision on the part of the SA's and other customers. Just relax, enjoy your shopping, and no one will pay much attention to you.

[Jenna1561]

Sounds like you had a great time and found a shopping technique that works well. Honesty is always a good policy. As others have mentioned, if we just be ourselves when out and behave as though we belong, which we do, and don't act in a suspicious manner, then all will be fine.

I too find that shoes are the most difficult item to find. Payless is a good source and as you discovered, the size and variety of their larger size women's shoes really varies from store to store. So when you find one that has a good selection, visit it often, as new shoes can go quickly when they get them in.

As for price vs quality, I have several, O.K. many, shoes from Payless and they are comfy, cute and well wearing as long as I treat them well, just like I would my more expensive brands.

Happy Shopping!


Jenna

[JulieC]

SAs don't want or need to be lectured to! Just conduct your
business in a responsible way and leave.

BTW, I got thrown out of a Family Dressing Room at Target
dressed in DRAB. The old lady noticed I had a dress in with
the boy clothes. Oh Well....

I wouldn't tolerate this. I'd complain to management, perhaps on a district level or higher. Store management might not care.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I have gone en-femme on many shopping excursions and have never had any problems, some long looks from people but never any problems. I go mostly to targets and walmarts, dress barns and kohls and bergners in and around the northwestern suburbs of chicagoland. I go to all the payless shoe stores I can find, my car just won't pass one up without pulling in to see the selection. The point I am making is that nobody really cares or if they do they are too afraid to confront me about my attire. When enfemme I always use the womans restroom unless there is a "family" rest room available, perhaps I have been lucky . I really hope it's that people are more accepting of us and they have better things to do with there time than to give us grief. I am a huge believer of Karma so I treat all people with respect and dignity and hope to get the same in return, it's worked so far.
I would definately do something about the incident at the Target store.

[Andi]

I went to a Payless shoe store a few months ago and bought a pair of size 11 pumps. I was in normal male mode and gave no clue about who the shoes were for. At the checkout the clerk (male) and I had no verbal exchange, he just rang up the purchase and I gave him the exact amount. He bagged the shoes and handed them to me saying "Here you go Miss!" in a sarcastic tone of voice. I didn't say anything and just left. The more I think about it the more I wish I had said something back but maybe it's just as well I didn't.

[Gisele]

Oh please let it be a store near me! What one was it? I am taking a trip to Payless to pick up some summer shoes soon. I want to pay that store a visit if it's not on the other side of the state.



I went to a Payless shoe store a few months ago and bought a pair of size 11 pumps. I was in normal male mode and gave no clue about who the shoes were for. At the checkout the clerk (male) and I had no verbal exchange, he just rang up the purchase and I gave him the exact amount. He bagged the shoes and handed them to me saying "Here you go Miss!" in a sarcastic tone of voice. I didn't say anything and just left. The more I think about it the more I wish I had said something back but maybe it's just as well I didn't.

[Donna506]

Andi and Beth,

I realize that my experiences in the Raleigh area at the two Payless stores may have been successful in that the three SAs I encountered were young girls and were minorities. They were so pleasant and nonjudgemental. Maybe I should take a cue from those with bad experiences and notify the corporate office of my happiness with their SAs wonderful service.

[Andi]

Sorry girls, I didn't mean to start a war with Payless. All my other visits have been satisfactory as Donna has reported. I just thought this one experience would be interesting to share as an illustration of how some folks (male in this case) jump to conclusions and act with out any sensitively. I still shop there and am pleased with their instore and internet service excluding this one incident. By the way I haven't seen that clerk in the store since a few weeks after the incident.

[Glenda58]

Payless shoes are just as good as the more expensive ones. I have both and wear the Payless more offend.

[JoAnnDallas]

I shopped at Payless en femm for the first time last Tuesday. Not sure if anyone read me or not. No one seemed to pay much attention to me. Funny thing is the GG SA that was ringing up my purchage was having a problem getting the shoe box in the bag. Not sure if she read me and was nervious or just was having a problem with the plasic bag. There were two SA's in the store and both were really great. In fact the one that rang me up was the one that told me the sinlgbacks I was modeling were cute and matched my outfit. One reason I bought them, they were and did. LOL Next time I get a chance to go out enfem again, I will go back and browse some more.

[Donna506]

I recently added the purchase of two wigs using the same method of disclosure to the lady in charge. She may have not liked seeing me as a guy in her store trying on wigs for fear of scaring other customers away. Luckily for me, I was the only customer for most of the time I was there. It was mid day on a Wednesday. I must say that the display wigs look so much different when placed on your head. Consequently, I would be reluctant to purchase one by mail. Do any of you care to share experiences with wig purchases? One thing I had thought would be critical was to find one close to my real hair color. I have mostly white with some gray still showing. I chose not to duplicate that color (or lack thereof) because it made me look like a really old lady. I suspect most fashionable ladies around 60 prefer to have some color to preserve their feeling of youth. However, most people who look really nice at that age do not display an artificial look with their hair color and style. I concluded I needed to give up on the idea of long tresses and thoughts of being a 30 something bombshell.