Support Groups and Roles of Real Women

[Donna506]

My wife has known about me for many years, but we just recently began discussing the need for support. She thinks she can handle private dressing. However, she is adamant at this point in not seeing me dressed. She fears that support group meetings will unleash lots of pent up emotions and could result in embarrassment for her and our family. In looking at many sites on the web, I have concluded that this freedom needs to be balanced in a healthy way. At this point I am not sure what balance would be. I read of many who dress daily and, although they say they are heterosexual, they sound like SRS is the desired outcome.

I have a great deal of admiration and respect for the roles women in our culture embrace. I think most are near genius to be so conversant in so many subjects that deal with relationships, organization, love, nourishment, beauty, etc. I think my desire is to emulate them to a limited degree, knowing that I could not even come close to meeting their standards. I have tried to express this to my wife, but she tends to view my actions as competition to her femininity. I am especially looking for help in reassuring her of my love and commitment, while being able to develop my feminine side. I want to be the best man I can be for my wife first. At the same time, I want to explore the positive role that CD can have in my life and relationships.

I would like to hear your views.

[Kate Simmons]

It can be a long and convoluted road sometimes Donna. The payoff is getting in touch with yourself and your feelings and being comfortable being yourself. Tread lightly though, sometimes that seemingly elusive "prize" does not come without a costly price. Take it from someone who knows only so well.:happy:

[Kerry Owens]

Donna your wife is welcome in the GG forums after 10 posts, she'll find out she is not alone and that sharing takes away the scariness of many of her fears. Communication between you both also will help tremendously with her questions, answering honestly does not ever hurt.

[Dixie]

Your wife should spend an evening with my wife, if she is any enfluence she will be talking you into going "out" as much as posible.:heehee:

[Phoebe Reece]

Donna,

There are many different kinds of support groups around. Some have their focus on those that are transitioning. Others are just for crossdressers. Some try to be inclusive of the entire transgender spectrum. Some exist mainly to socialize, while others concentrate on political agendas. Only you can decide what meets your own needs best. I would suggest that you try to find groups nearest where you live and then contact them. You really won't know how well you fit with a particular group until you attend a meeting or two.

I can say that the group I am a member of provides support for both the CD and SO. We have social functions and also counsel one another. We also have programs to try to educate the public about crossdressing. The idea of being the best man for your wife fits in with our ideals.

[marie354]

If you check a few support sites on the internet, you'll find that this one is one of the best. That said, is you wife a member here? If not, maybe you should encourage her to join. There are a lot of helpful & sincere people here from all walks of life.
We don't always agree on everything here, but we do agree on one thing... We are all here to help those that need it.
It's a tough world no mater who you are, what your profession, or your level of CDing.

I wish you well in your en devour here and hope that we can be of some help.

We have all thought about all the things that you describe. Some just fantasize about it while others go the whole nine yards.
There isn't any one set way to deal with any of it.
The choice is up to the individual, which in this case is you and your wife, if you choose to include her in your decisions about this.

I think I'm sounding too political here so I'll stop. This is no place for politics.
:hugs:

[JoAnnDallas]

If you will notice, most of the support groups keep their meeting place from the public. Also you generally will need to meet with a officer of the support group before you will be allowed to attend. This is for saftey of all the members. It is also a streening out process to make sure the person that wants to visit/join is a CD/TG/TS. My Tri-Ess group does both out reach and is a social.

[kittypw GG]

I think with your current attitude you will have no problem achieving your goal. Tri-ess is a nice place to start. We belonged to a group but it was 4 hours away so our participation was at a minimum. If they had been our city I would have participated more. It is at least a place where your wife can meet other So's. For me it was important to know that the women who accepted their husbands crossdressing were like me and not a bunch of "weirdos". I also liked the safe place to socialize and be among others like us. I have difficulty going out in the general population with Dannielle because she is
6'2" without heels. It just made me feel more comfortable.

Being a part of the gg section has had a profound effect on me personally. I can't say enough about what great women they are. Your wife would be welcomed with open arms.
Take care. :hugs:

[Tree GG]

From your description, I think your wife is a strong, proud, private person who feels she can deal with this, but is aware enough to know there's a point she just can't get past.

IMO, a private counselor would be her best initial contact. There is professional committment to confidentiality and the focus will be on how she feels about you and the CD issues. I found this approach very helpful although my husband was somewhat threatened by it until he could believe the therapist was not a CD basher. He relaxed then.

Support groups are great for finding a community to develop a CD lifestyle in, but until she has decided to completely accept that lifestyle, they may be a bit overwhelming.

Just my :2c:

[kittypw GG]

From your description, I think your wife is a strong, proud, private person who feels she can deal with this, but is aware enough to know there's a point she just can't get past.

IMO, a private counselor would be her best initial contact. There is professional committment to confidentiality and the focus will be on how she feels about you and the CD issues. I found this approach very helpful although my husband was somewhat threatened by it until he could believe the therapist was not a CD basher. He relaxed then.

Support groups are great for finding a community to develop a CD lifestyle in, but until she has decided to completely accept that lifestyle, they may be a bit overwhelming.

Just my :2c:

Good points Tree. Excellant advice. :hugs: Kitty

[lindsaycd75]

I hope this helps you somehow. Not everyone that is a trangendered transitions. I have no desire to myself other than a few minor cosmetic things id like done, I am ok with the way I am. Now comes the kicker to it that really makes me stand out. I am not an average Cd I was born intersexed and wrongly assigned male. Knowing this and knowing that I don't feel manly inside, I still CHOOSE not to go through with srs. I have many reasons, but the main two are my family and the fact that for ME it does just not feel necessary. Think of gender as being a sliding scale not as ether, or, neither,nor. Like I said I hope this help you some how, good luck.

Lindsay.