a note on shame

[Karen Johnson]

I'll try to make this short.

First memory of crossdressing was when I was 5 or 6. Have always been turned on by women's clothing.

Grew up in a society where that type of thing is ridiculed. Couldn't help the feelings. Over the years I would indulge myself whenever possible - which wasn't often. I never had my own things and would end up "borrowing" things from my sister and later my first wife.

When I was in my mid-forties I finally told my current wife about "Karen." It took a long time to build up the courage to admit this about myself. (It took a long time to admit it to myself. I was in my forties before I finally realized that I was a transvestite.)

And now the point of this thread. After telling my wife the shame left me. I like to wear women't clothes. So what? It's nobody's business but my own and it doesn't make me a bad person. Something about telling another person can be such a liberating experience. Now I don't care too much if someone else knows. I don't advertise it, but if someone else found out I could live with it.

Living in shame is a horrible thing. I am so grateful for this forum and the sense of belonging that comes with it.

[Mitch23]

i can identify with that - the shame goes away. The difficulties remain but no shame. I'm a crossdresser - so big deal!

mitch

[Kate Simmons]

There is absolutely no shame in being yourself Karen.:happy:

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I think the most liberating experience for myself was when I admitted that I was a crossdresser. I also agree being able to tell someone else is very liberating. Jocelyn

[Dixie]

Yes I know what you mean. Over the last six months my wife and I, more I then she, have grown way more comfortable and secure about who I am. Last night we were shooting pool at "the bar" in town with a GG who is 6'3" tall. She is a pretty good friend of ours, so my wife asks her what size shoe she wears in men's and women's. She is a 12 women's. My wife asks her where, if she had to buy a pair of high heels in a twelve, would she go? She told us and then with a confused look on her face says Why? My wife says, "We can't find a place to buy heels anywhere that fit him and we need to be able to try them on to make sure they fit." I just about choked on my beer I couldn't believe that she said that. Our friend looks at me and says "You want to buy heels for yourself, is it for a costume??" I just smiled and said yes. Afterwards I really enjoyed the experience. She never even considered that I am a Crossdresser, just went straight to "costume" all by herself, and Halloween is what, 5 or 6 months away yet.

[stormrider]

I grew up with the same shame which lasted into my forties also. Both of my wives were convinced I was a pervert. I was too for many of my years. Now I have accepted myself and like you, the shame goes away. I don't advertise myself, but I aam not ashamed of myself either.

[az_azeel]

I can relate to this, I told Alexis before we were actually an Item and it is wonderfull to have someone who is so understanding. However I still feel embarrased when I ask her if I can go and put something on.. can't expalin that one lol...

take care :hugs:

[Angie G]

I never felt shame about dressing even befor my wife know I just never felt it was a bad thing :hugs:
Angie

[kerrianna]

You are so right about that Karen. Shame doesn't like the daylight. Glad you've been able to get Karen out in the open. Live free and easy girl. :hugs:

[trannie T]

I am ashamed that I stole mom's panties. There is no other shame associated with my crossdressing, in fact, I'm kind of proud of myself for having the courage to go out en femme.

[edina1]

and I can never quite work out whether I'd like it to be so shame-free that it would be normal... but thank goodness for people to talk to and ways to learn acceptance and the chance to see no need to hate oneself