Opinions from MtFs, Please

[CaptLex]

This question is for those that date women, whether you consider yourself CD, TG, TS makes no difference to me in answering it, just as long as you feel you can answer it. So, here goes . . . if you found out that a woman you used to date, or were previously married to, had transitioned to (or is in the process of transitioning to) male, how would you react? I've often wondered how my ex-husband or any of my ex-boyfriends would feel if I ran into them now and told them that they were actually involved with a guy with the wrong plumbing. Would they be upset, insulted, disgusted? Would they find it funny? Would they think me crazy? Or would they just shake my hand and wish me luck?

Anyone have an opinion?

[kerrianna]

That really depends on the relationship, what happened during it, and how it ended. In my case I might think "Ah ha" some things fall into place...but I wouldn't take it personally, knowing that people change. (some more than others :D). That was then, this is now. But I might be more open minded than a lot of people. Because of my own experience I can understand why someone might not have known who they were when they were younger, so I wouldn't be upset that they had 'kept' some secret from me. They likely didn't know or understand themselves at the time.

So if my ex transitioned I would be happy and supportive. But I'm like that anyway and my ex and I are still friends.

It would explain a few things though. :p

[vivianann]

I would not have a problem with it. If I fell in love with a woman and later found out she was still male I would still love her and continue the relationship.

[DeeInGeorgia]

CaptLex,

I would guess that asking us would not get you the same answer that the general population might give. Most of us, I guess, would have grown up being a bit more accepting diversity of sex and gender, as we had to do that to be able to accept ourselves.

I would not have any problem and would actual congratulate an ex- girlfriend that had transitioned or was planning on transition or just wanted to live with a different gender, if that made them feel better about themselves.

Dee

[TxKimberly]

Capt,

I think kerrianna said it perfectly - I have nothing to add but my support for her comments.

Kim

[CaptLex]

CaptLex,

I would guess that asking us would not get you the same answer that the general population might give.
I'm starting to realize that too, Dee. :doh: :heehee:

Maybe I should have asked what other non-TG guys you may know might say.

[jessie_cal]

It is kind of hard to say I would condemn a former girlfriend FTM while I'm sitting here in a dress. I'm not that much of a hypocrite.:happy:
My father-in-law found out that his wife was gay after the broke up. He was very angry about it from what I've heard.

Hope that helps

[kerrianna]

I'm starting to realize that too, Dee. :doh: :heehee:

Maybe I should have asked what other non-TG guys you may know might say.

That really does depend on the guy and the relationship. I think guys who didn't understand TG would be confused, and depending on their attitude towards sexual preference, might be angry or disgusted - if they were uptight and ignorant about things like that. Some guys might decide to find out more before passing judgement.

Thinking about my male friends with partners I'd say some would be cool with it and the more 'traditional' guys would lash out to protect their image. Those are the insecure guys who do that kind of stuff anyway. Not my good friends, esp these days. :rolleyes:

[MJ]

good question to be honest my answer might be tainted .. i think my true response would be... good for you i am happy you have found your way.. but i would also think i was not man enough for her / him... well look at me now :eek: , and i would not have any problems dating a f2m if the right one came along as long as you love each other what does it matter

[Dixie]

Sounds like a match made in heaven for the right couple and no one would ever be the wiser outside the families and friends involved. Being an ex I would have to say I would be understanding and supportive but I have my one true love and would not want to rekindle anything with an ex.

[Kate Simmons]

Well Lex, you know me. I'd probably want to buy you a drink or have lunch together and have you tell me all about it.:happy:

[Tammy_j]

Hi Lex, i don't think it would bother me at all. the important thing is to be caring and supportive of others in their personal lives. this would be a lot happier world if everyone were able to do that. if i found out a former girlfriend needed to be a man, i would be happy for him in finding his true self.

Tammy

[cd_lisaplaything]

Probably not the right place to ask, maybe try a football forum, lol.

I don't see nor talk to any of my ex-girlfriends, an ex- is an ex- for a reason. If I found out or met up with an ex- who was in such a situation, I don't think it would bother me.

[Katrina]

It depends on the person. My ex-wife, I would feel like she was the biggest hypocrite because she had said to me at one point she would divorce me if she ever found out that I crossdressed. I was in the closet/in denial at that point. I would wish her well I guess and probably remain friends with her but I would definitely give her a hard time about that hypocracy. Other exes, I think I would generally wish them well. Heck, one of my college roommate's girlfriends wouldn't surprise me if she transitioned someday. She came out as lesbian years ago, but to my knowledge hasn't gone onto the FTM spectrum.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Again this a probably more biased answer, but I'll try my best to answer from my drab side. Basically the attitude I took when I was dating was once I broke up with someone that was it, everything was over, not interested in who they are dating etc, hope you have a happy life, what they choose to do with it don't care. I guess lets say I were single and ran into an ex and found out she transitioned. I would be susprised but that would be about it. Jocelyn

[CaptLex]

That really does depend on the guy and the relationship. I think guys who didn't understand TG would be confused, and depending on their attitude towards sexual preference, might be angry or disgusted - if they were uptight and ignorant about things like that. Some guys might decide to find out more before passing judgement.
You're right about that, Kerri. From what I remember, none of my exes were homophobic (or I wouldn't have been with them), but I think some of them would be transphobic and would react very negatively. They might think I deceived them or they might question their own masculinity or sexuality.

Thank you all for your honest responses. Thankfully, I don't expect to run into any of them, but you never know. :p