I am confused...

[HotPantyhose]

Ok, can someone please diagnose me. I have been crossdressing sense about the age of 5 or 6 by taking my moms cloths. I am 18 now and still crossdressing, I love dressing up. I recently have been thinking about making more of a transition to a women, not all the way though. I am unsure of what I am, if I am transgendered, or just a average crossdresser. I like women, but also have fanticies about men. I still get a sexual rush from crossdressing. So can someone please help me out here? Thanks alot!:D

[Kate Simmons]

I'm not sure there is any such thing as an "average crossdresser", there are different reasons and motivations for why we do what we do. TG covers a broad spctrum as well. You need to get in touch with yourself and your feelings. Talking here helps but nothing substitutes for talking to a professional counselor to help sort out your feelings. Then you will have a better idea of just who you are and where you are going.:happy:

[Rita B]

Ok, can someone please diagnose me. I have been crossdressing sense about the age of 5 or 6 by taking my moms cloths. I am 18 now and still crossdressing, I love dressing up. I recently have been thinking about making more of a transition to a women, not all the way though. I am unsure of what I am, if I am transgendered, or just a average crossdresser. I like women, but also have fanticies about men. I still get a sexual rush from crossdressing. So can someone please help me out here? Thanks alot!:DThat is a toughie in a way. I think that you need to talk to a gender specialist counselor. I don't know if you have your own medical insurance or if you are still carried under your parents insurance coverage because on going counseling can be expensive. If so, do your parents know. This problem is too serious for you to handle by yourself. There are a lot of wonderful people on the forum, but you need professional help. Good luck to you. Know that we care and are supportive.


Rita

[Rita B]

I'm not sure there is any such thing as an "average crossdresser", there are different reasons and motivations for why we do what we do. TG covers a broad spctrum as well. You need to get in touch with yourself and your feelings. Talking here helps but nothing substitutes for talking to a professional counselor to help sort out your feelings. Then you will have a better idea of just who you are and where you are going.:happy: Hey, you changed your picture. You and I are together on this one it seems.

Rita:hugs:

[HotPantyhose]

That is a toughie in a way. I think that you need to talk to a gender specialist counselor. I don't know if you have your own medical insurance or if you are still carried under your parents insurance coverage because on going counseling can be expensive. If so, do your parents know. This problem is too serious for you to handle by yourself. There are a lot of wonderful people on the forum, but you need professional help. Good luck to you. Know that we care and are supportive.


Rita

Well I am 18 still going to school and live at home. I haven't told my parents yet. My mom has found all my thongs, stockings, ect. But she never really confronted me on them. I was just wondering if someone had an idea? Is this what most crossdressers go through or am I going through something different?

[Rita B]

Well I am 18 still going to school and live at home. I haven't told my parents yet. My mom has found all my thongs, stockings, ect. But she never really confronted me on them. I was just wondering if someone had an idea? Is this what most crossdressers go through or am I going through something different? It doesn't seem that you have too many choices. Sitting down with your mom first and letting her know how you feel may be the first step. She probably thinks that this is a phase you are going through and it will pass. I don't think she knows how serious this is for you. I'm sure she will want what is best for you and help you any way she can. Again, good luck in your efforts.


Rita

[HotPantyhose]

I guess what I am trying to accomplish from this thread is, does it seem like just a crossdressing phase? Because if so then It is an avoidable confrontation, but if it sounds like its more gender related then I will bring it up, what our your opinions?

[Glenda58]

Go talk with Mom. She found your things so she knows. This is something that's not going to go away it only gets worse or better depending how you want to look at it. Most of us started young try to stop for one reason or other just to start again. So enjoy yourself and don't worry about what you are. You are still young and have time to figure this all out.

[trannie T]

You seem to be a perfectly normal eighteen year old. That is, totally confused. You are going through major changes in your life including questions about your sexuality. If you feel you need to, seek out some counselling. Things will get easier over time.

[Charleen]

What will help for now until you make up your mind to go to a counselor, is to read here in the forum! One thing I will add is that CDing is NOT a phase! Take a deep breath, relax, and read some posts.
Love and xxxx, Lily

[Leah B]

You're not going through anything unusual, crossdressing-wise. A lot of CDs wonder if they ever want to transition, even if they ultimately don't want to. For me, I wouldn't mind hormones, except that they're permanent and I like being a guy too.

There are no guidelines, unfortunately. No one can look in a book of symptoms and say "Oh, dude's a TS. Says so right there." You gotta figure it out the hard way: exploring your feelings, talking about it (a therapist is best, like peeps are saying), and making boneheaded mistakes.

I can tell you that many CDs start out having it as a fetish before they realize its a gender thing too.

My short term advice: Don't just look at how you feel now, but think about your feelings in the past as well. How did you feel about your gender as a child? As a preteen? Do you feel like you relate better to women? Do you like femininity in general, or only very specific things? Ask yourself questions, and if you know someone who you can confide in, let them ask you questions, because they'll come up with stuff you'd never think of.

[Joni Beauman]

Probably no time to over-react, seems to me from the little we know. What you would gain by discussing this with your mother, I am not sure. Seems you are on a fairly typical trajectory - one she can do little about but possibly be supportive. Percentages may suggest otherwise, I am not sure. I never discussed it with my mother. Hopefully, you do not let this rule your life - serve and work towards something useful. Focus on your gender issues with trustees, or like many here before this forum, learn the age-old skills of compartmentalization and methods for reinforcing the inner walls. Good luck, Joni

[Cindyloo]

CDing is not a phase. I agree with what the other ladies are saying here and that you should confront your mom as well as seeing a counselor. A counselor can help you sort out your feelings and confusion. Stay in this forum as well, it is very supportive and helpful. We are all here for each other.


Hugs,
Cindy

[Sheri 4242]

I'm sorry this is long, but I am convinced it is very important that you take a step back, relax, and consider everything with a professional!

Leah said:


No one can look in a book of symptoms and say "Oh, dude's a TS. Says so right there."

Well, unfortunately there is a book that many counselors would look in -- and in so doing, they would come up with an entirely convoluted and most likely incorrect diagnosis. I am, of course, referencing the DSM-IV-TR, which stands for The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Reision Edition, published by the American Psychiatric Association (in 2000, I believe). Don't get me wrong, this "standard of the profession" has its place in diagnosing and treating a wide variety of mental health issues. That being said, "if" the DSM-IV is the "industry position" regarding TGism and CDing, they are behind the times in many ways, most especially when it comes to crossdressing.

This is exactly why you need a "Gender Specialist," be they psychologist or psychiatrist!!!

You really need to get the help of a counselor who has broad, unbiased experience in gender issues and gender counseling -- somebody that knows, for example, that not all CDing is for fetish purposes. (*sigh* Here we are in the year 2007, and there are still some so-called professionals that are bent on this line. It defies belief.)

HotPantyhose: you are at an age where you are an adult in so many ways, but yet, IMO, you are not at a point where you should make permanent changes -- not until you get the answers you are seeking and are 100% confident with those answers and the direction they are taking you in!!! We can offer advice and relate experiences, but you still need to seek professional assistance to help you! For example, you "present" with many facets on the TG spectrum, but it is impossible to tell you -- and it would be irresponsible to tell you, based solely on what you've told us -- that you are definitely this or definitely that. For another example, you "present" as a mtf heterosexual CD, but then you add in the possibility of bisexuality and transsexualism.

I used to hear (when I was very young) that if you could kiss your elbow, you'd become a girl. Dang if I didn't try and try!!! BUT, 50 years later I can tell you with certainty that I am not a TS. I am, by the definition I accept, TG. And I am absolutely a CDer (and proud to be one). You say you like females, yet have fantasies about males. Does this mean you are really gay or bi? Not necessarily. So, RELAX -- and try to NOT be so caught up in what you may or may not be. I know this may sound difficult b/c we are in a time when so many want instant answers/results, but for your own peace of mind, do the best you can to take this slowly and methodically! Find a gender specialist and take your time exploring what you are and how to accept and love yourself!!!

[DeeInGeorgia]

Depending on your state of mind, you may not need to see a psychologist. For me, after talking to a couple of psychologists and figuring it out for myself, CDing is not the problem for me and in fact, CDing is part of the solution for me.

As a psychologist once told me about my shyness problem, I was smart enough to figure out what was going on and what the solution was, he was just a sounding board to help me focus and confirm my suggested fixes.

Before puberty hit me, I dressed for several reasons including loneliness, fitting in with the female friends I had to play with and lack of physical affection from my parents. Once puberty hit, sexual pleasure was added to the reasons for dressing. Shyness was added at that time and I would CD to be the girlfriend to myself that I didn't have. There was a little bit of wanting to be a woman also, as when my sister hit puberty, I hoped I would develop breasts. I also had a womens clothing fetish at the time. I myself was only interested in women, and still only am interested in women.

All that said, I did not back then fall into the realm of what today would be classified as GID. My problem was not the CDing, it was the shyness and loneliness, and CDing was helping me handle the loneliness (even though it also probably contributed to the loneliness some, there was a net benefit to me).

You seem to me to be a normal individual, ie., CDing is a part of your life and you just need to figure out your own comfort level.

Dee

I am an engineer and do not know hoot about psychology. Anything said is just my uneducated opinion.

[HotPantyhose]

Hey, thanks for all of the positive feedback, I am still unsure of what I want to do. I mean I want to come out to my mom but I don't at the same time. And If I did want to start living my life as woman I don't know how she would react.

[neon_noodle]

Do you CD for the sexual rush of it, or want to CD all the time?

As I see it, there are 3 levles of this:

- CDing for sex and fantasy play. Lots of regular guys do this (myself included). It's fun and sexy and hot, and doesn't mean anything else. Relax.

- CDing some to most of the time, in everyday situations. You wish to look like and feel like a woman, for a number of different reasons, but still like being a guy too.

- CDing, leading to living as a women full time, because you identify more with women's thoughts and feelings.

If your dressing up is mixed in with sex thoughts, then you're more in the first catagory, and you don't have to do anything. If you really want to be a women, then it may be time to start to tell others in your life about your feelings. You're still young, and have lots of time to sort out your feelings.

And no, the rush of putting on a set of heels and stockings doens't go away. Thankfully. Enjoy.

[HotPantyhose]

There is a sexual rush to it, but I also have thoughts about wanting to live as a women or at least transgendered.