I Am My Brother's Sister!

[Holly]

In another thread I posted that a few days ago I sent my younger brother (my only other living blood relative besides my children) and email that simply said, "Do you ever wish you had a sister?" Well, he called tonight. When I answered the phone the first thing he said was, "If it's not you, yes, if it's you, no. Why are you asking?" Gulp! Now what? Well, I've come this far... no going back now. I told him I have GID, Gender Identity Disorder. I went on to explain that gender identity and sexual identity are two different things and that I am a cross dresser and feel comfortable wearing women's clothing. He asked me if I was planning on having a sex change operation and I told him no I am not. There was a few seconds of silence and then he said, "Okay." That's it? I've been stressing for, what, years now for an Okay? It's supposed to be harder than this! "No, no, you don't understand. I wear women's clothing and I LIKE it. I'm a moderator of a forum for cross dressers... www.crossdressers.com (http://www.crossdressers.com). My user name is Holly. If you're interested, you can go there to learn a little more about me and my friends." Again he said, Okay." In the grand scheme of life, this has turned out to be a non-event.

So why am I telling you this? Point one- For a long time, I let my fears paralyze me. I had been so afraid of what MIGHT be that I was blinded to what COULD be. Would he think less of me because I dress? Would he no longer respect me as the older brother? Would he want nothing more to do with me? What I got was we're family... we stand by one another. Family is not about tolerating one another, it's about loving one another.

Point two- My lack of trust was more of a reflection on me and my lack of trust than on my brother and his ability to accept. Looking back, how could I ever doubted? All the things we shared with one another when we were growing up... and since! I should have known better.

Point three- Our reality rarely lives up to our imagined fears... well, for me at least. Treating those we love with the dignity of truth rather than the folly of deceit more often than not will win their respect, their honor, and their trust.

Now I can be me around my brother,,, and I don't mean necessarily dressing. But I don't have to hide a part of me from my brother any longer. I can be myself and not pretend to be something or someone I am not. If I was a betting person, I would venture that we will be having some deep conversations with one another very soon. If I'm right, we will both be barring our souls to each other on a variety of issues and we will relate on a higher level than ever before.

Freedom feels so good on so many levels!

[Jenna1561]

Holly, it's amazing how resilient and accepting family can be. I'm so happy that this was a "non-event" for you and your brother. All that worry and angst over what turned out to be nothing. Now you can visit with your brother and lower your guard and do what comes naturally without fear of being questioned about something you weren't ready to discuss.

Again, I'm very happy for you. :D


Jenna

[Princess29]

I thought my sister wouldn't be cool with things when I told her but she's been great. She was surprised when I told her but it became a "non-event" also. I guess sometimes we don't know our family as well as we think.
I'm glad it went well for you though Holly

[Sheri 4242]

Holly, this is wonderful!!! From what you relate, you explained things in a succinct, unambigious manner. I am very happy for you that things turned out so well!!! The sun still came up this morning -- the earth is still turning -- and your brother is still your brother, he just now has a sister -- a sister who did an excelent job of explaining things!!!

[Kelsy]

Gee Holly!

You have alot of baxxs for a lady:D You must have been sweating it. Sure glad everything worked out and I'm happy your brother has found a sister:happy:


hugs Jennifer

[kerrianna]

Way to go Holly! :hugs::love:

That was a pretty funny response from your brother: "If it's you - no." Obviously he had thought of the concept. And decided he liked you just fine as a bro. :happy: I'm glad he was cool about it. We do tend to overthink things and worry too much. But a lot of that is from when we were growing up, The world was a different place. People like us were thought of as perverts. Nowadays while some still think that, most people are pretty cool with live and let live. The more we show people we're just decent humans too the more acceptance we'll get.

Your bother knew it didn't change anything between you. :hugs:

[Tamara Croft]

That's great news Holly :hugs: It's amazing just what we can share with our brothers or sisters, without judgement ;) I know, I have a brother I can confide anything to :D

[marie354]

Yea, Holly, I've done this twice. I have 2 younger brothers and they both know that my "level of dressing" has increased. Both of them said that is was OK with them. WooHoo! In fact, the youngest, wants to know how I've changed my appearance over the years. Thinner eyebrows and no sideburns does make one look a bit younger. The three of usually get together between Thanksgiving & Christmas for the "Annual family diner", so I'm looking forward to that day when I can present myself to them both as Sandy.

And, Thank-you, Holly, you are one of the people that has helped me to further my "coming out" to my brothers and a few friends.
:hugs:

[Nicole]

That is terrific Holly! It must feel like a great weight has been lifted from your psyche. Hopefully he will be open to discussing the matter in more depth and might learn a thing or two about it. :)

[Dixie]

That's great, I am so happy it was a pleasnt experience for you.

[Annesah]

Well done Holly! Your post is beautifully written.

[RachelDenise]

Congratulationss Holly. The family grows closer.

[Sharon]

Very cool, Holly! I'm so happy that telling your brother worked out so well. He sounds like a terrific person, and why not, he has you as his sister. :happy:

[Di]

Wonderful news hon:hugs:.Your brother sounds like you...caring and understanding.

[susie evans]

HOLLY
i am so happy for you and your brother i think this is only the begining of an even stronger bond between you and him my heart is full for you thanks for shareing

:love: susie

[uknowhoo]

Wow, Holly. That's just wonderful. I'm really happy for you and your family. Thanks for posting, btw. Each additional thread like this (and event like this) helps us all. I can't help but think of Rachel Ann when I read a thread like this. :( But the more society evolves, the fewer such tragedies will occur.

xoxo

[Siobhan Marie]

Holly, that is indeed wonderful news, I'm so pleased that you don't have hide Holly anymore to your brother. :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

:hugs: Anna x

[Mitch23]

wow - i love hearing stories like this - its a great encouragement to those of us who still havent got to that stage. ive thought for a long time that it is our fear, and ours alone that paralyses

mitch

[Daintre]

Holly, I am um what's the word..gobsmacked..I want my family to know, but I don't want it to turn ugly. I will find out what they really think of me in 2 days time, when they move me, it will come out to everyone....I am fearful and yet very hopeful.

I am so glad that you are relieved of that stress.

[Shelly Preston]

Well done to you Holly

Sometimes the hardest thing is to tell someone we know.

I'm so happy for you that it all worked out ok :D

[CaptLex]

Way to go, Holly! I'll bet that's a huge relief, huh? He sounds like a cool guy - there must be something to genetics then. ;)

[parris james]

Thats great dear, I also felt very nervous when I told my brother and Mom, but, that also was a non-event, at any rate congrats baby, talk to you soon

[Carroll]

had those "non-events" happen several times, and I still get aprehensive about telling someone. There is always that fear one will reject you like a moldy tomato

[dancinginthedark]

Well done Holly for taken that leap of faith. I'm so happy for you and your new freedom to be near your younger brother without fear/doubts creeping in. Bet you're going to be even closer to your brother now. How cool is that? :D

You must feel so much lighter with all that weight gone from your shoulders and your heart. :hugs:

:love:

xxxx
dancin

[heatherts21]

Congats!

[janelle]

Congratulations Holly you have just cleared another hurdle in life, HURRAH!!
:hugs:,Janelle

[Holly]

Thank-you all for your very kind thoughts and well wishes. My brother is in fact a pretty amazing guy. We were very close growing up as our parents were separated for many of those years (they later did reconcile). There were many, many nights we spent by ourselves, depending on ourselves for support. Later on, when our parents reconciled, we had a great family life but always remained close. Yes I am very relieved that this is out now and has had no apparent impact on our relationship.

Least anyone come away from this thinking that I am particularly courageous (or reckless), nothing could be further from the truth. I'm just a person, much like you, who values truth and honesty in relationships that mean something to me. How I chose to clothe my body seems to have little to no bearing on those whose opinions I value. As has been pointed out time and time again, how we view ourselves has an enormous impact on how others will react to us. If we are comfortable, confident, and content with who we are, those around us will, more often than not, respond positively to us.

[O2B Barbara]

Good Job! As Eric Clapton said "Let it blossom - let it grow".

Guess that goes for all of us.