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KatieC
05-24-2007, 03:26 PM
I still have a lot of self discovery to go, I know that. All I really know for sure, is that I'm not a casual cross-dresser. I'm some degree of transgendered, but where on the whole gender spectrum I'll ultimately find myself is still anyone's guess.

Since this winter or so, when the suppressed cross-dressing bug re-emerged with a vengeance, I've been struggling with a lot of self hatred. I haven't felt like one thing or another, and find myself obsessed with longings to be what my biology doesn't match, with urges bordering on compulsion to dress and tuck and just be much more feminine that I've ever allowed myself to be. I don't know where this is all going, and for someone who prides eirself on self control, it's a wild and rather frightening ride at times.

But within the last few days, I decided something. I am going to stop looking at this as a curse, and start looking at it as a gift. So I'm not one thing or another . . . that doesn't have to be a bad thing! I don't have to feel like an outsider, an Other. What I am, or can become, is a bridge between the too-often separate worlds of Male and Female. A gender ambassador, if you will. It's a goal worth pursuing, and with all of the friends I have who just don't understand the opposite gender, it looks like it's something this world needs more of.

I still don't claim to understand women any better than I understand men (which often times seems like not at all), but maybe I understand both better than your average Jo(e) understands their opposite gender. Maybe . . . Hopefully.

This decision, and realization, comes from a distillation of many, many posts from many of you wonderful people who post in these forums. Far too many of you to name individually. So please, all, accept :hugs: and thanks. I don't post often, but I read much, and you all do make a very positive impact on my quest for understanding.

-KatieC

RobertaFermina
05-24-2007, 03:36 PM
Call it a curse, you are cursed.
Call it a gift, you are gifted.
Whether CD brings joy or turmoil - I can grow through either.

I really feel you have spoken my feelings, though I never felt it a curse (maybe because I never tried to suppress it?).

I'd love to hear more of whatever you have to say. :hugs:

:rose: Roberta :rose:

kerrianna
05-24-2007, 03:40 PM
Katie, the best thing for any of us is to be just who they are. We change day to day and what we were yesterday might not hold for tomorrow, so hanging on brings frustration. I'm glad you are freeing yourself to go with the flow.

Gender identity is a sliding scale and most of us, GG-GM, are somewhere in between the polar opposites, and we often move up and down as life and our mindset and emotions dictate.

Sometimes being in that fuzzy middle makes you feel more isolated because you can't really outright say I'm with you or I'm with them....but it is more based in truth, and you are definitely NOT alone in feeling in between. Enjoy seeing life from both sides now. :hugs: :love:

*starts humming Joni Mitchell* :heehee:

KatieC
05-25-2007, 10:13 AM
Sometimes being in that fuzzy middle makes you feel more isolated because you can't really outright say I'm with you or I'm with them....but it is more based in truth, and you are definitely NOT alone in feeling in between. Enjoy seeing life from both sides now. :hugs: :love:

I shall indeed do my best to enjoy seeing life from both sides, from now on! :heehee: :hugs:

Stephenie S
05-25-2007, 11:08 AM
Dear Katie,

This is a good perspective to look at this from. I consider my TG status to be a gift and a blessing. Not that many people in this world can have the advantage of looking at gender from both sides. We are indeed unique.

Lovies,
Stephenie

Fab Karen
05-25-2007, 06:23 PM
Sometimes being in that fuzzy middle makes you feel more isolated because you can't really outright say I'm with you or I'm with them....but it is more based in truth, and you are definitely NOT alone in feeling in between. Enjoy seeing life from both sides now. :hugs: :love:

*starts humming Joni Mitchell* :heehee:

"these past illusions I recall
I really don't remember at all"

trannie T
05-25-2007, 10:32 PM
IMHO One of the biggest problems we have as crossdressers is self acceptance. Whether we look upon our crossdressing as a curse or as a blessing once we accept ourselves as we are we are on the path to happiness.

Satrana
05-25-2007, 11:45 PM
Switching from a negative to a positive mindset is the most important step towards resolution and acceptance of any issue. This is the true route to happiness. So much of our lives is based upon our own perceptions which, for some unknown reason, we mold into insurmountable obstacles. We are our own worst enemy but we have the power within us to wake up tomorrow morning and change our perceptions for the better.

All together now: "Always look on the bright side of life...":happy:

Leah B
05-26-2007, 10:25 AM
This decision, and realization, comes from a distillation of many, many posts from many of you wonderful people who post in these forums. Far too many of you to name individually.

She means me :) :)

Kate Simmons
05-26-2007, 11:35 AM
It is definately a gift Katie. The sooner we realize this, the sooner we stop fighting ourselves and our own dichotomy.:happy:

marie354
05-26-2007, 12:07 PM
Everyone has a gift on one kind or another. Some of us are just more gifted than others in our understanding of what the other side has to go through to achieve their eventual being.
If it was all about looks, then it would be easy... Just put on a dress and you would indeed be a woman. But, it's not, is it.
Understanding your own feelings about who you are is one of the biggest steps in self-acceptance that I have done for myself.
When I'm asked if I crossdress, I no longer try to deny what I do. There isn't any point in it at all. You can always tell when someone isn't being truthful anyway, so why lie.
I accept my feminine side as we all should.
In fact we should all embrace it, as it is, after all, who we are. And who we are is what makes us individuals, and unique from anyone else.
Enjoy your life while you can. It doesn't last forever. Unfortunately.
:hugs:

Dixie
05-28-2007, 07:11 PM
It's the gift that keeps on giving, and I'm giving in more and more.:D