TracyH
05-25-2007, 09:36 AM
I don't know what came over me yesterday, but I felt the need to dress more than usual. Now usually I'm just not a wig, pad and makeup kind of person, but yesterday was different.
First I got pre-dressed. I wore my pads and bodysuit under a pair of girl's jeans and a normal looking top. I put on makeup, which without a wig just makes me look like a goth kid. Also, I keep my head shaved, so in reality I femmed up to look more intimidating than I usually do. But luckily the look turns dark and smoky when I put on my wig. Looking at myself in the mirror, it was hard to tell that I was wearing pads. The only giveaway were the platform shoes, but those were mostly covered by the legs of my jeans. I'm good, everything's hidden. Okay, lets go.
I packed my breasts, wig, and a cute stretchy blue top into my backpack and left the house. My plan was to drive to the lloyd center, finish my look, and then walk around the outside of the mall, which was about six blocks. Once in the parking garage, I brushed out my wig, changed my top and inserted my breasts. My breasts are just bags of rice, so while I was squishing them into a breast shape, I caught some motion out of the corner of my eye. As it turns out, someone had been sitting in their car about three spaces away and watching me.
I could have died right then.
Instead I drove away and parked in a different corner of the parking garage. Then I made sure to check every car around me for occupants, but then I realized that I already dressed and I should just go do what I set out to do. Many of you will identify with what happened next: I started trying to talk myself out of it. First started the stalling: Okay, I'll go when those people go inside, wait, now those people, now there's a car. Then came the excuses: I should totally be doing homework right now instead of playing around at the mall. finally the desperate measures: There might be a dog out there and it'll out me because dogs can smell the difference between men and women! I won't be fooling him!
I took a deep breath to calm myself. I told myself, "You're going to die someday and if you keep putting this off you're going to end up complaining about how you wasted your life not doing anything fun after you're dead. So go do it now before it's too late" I got out of the car and locked it. "That means you can't get back in until you're done!" My mind told me. So that was my mission, to walk that six blocks I'd mapped out in my mind before I'd let myself into the car again.
Now, I live in Portland, which is a great city for crossdressing. It's pretty progressive, so there are very few uptight or just plain bad people. Unless you go out to one of the suburbs, but I won't go into that right now. But I digress. One thing I hadn't seen much of in Portland until today were gangmember, but there were two of them right there in front of the mall entrance. Blue bandannas, blue baggy shorts. I decided I would walk counterclockwise around the mall instead and maybe they'd be gone once I had to pass where they were. And if not, I would just walk around the other way to get back to my car for double credit.
I began to calm down once I was walking and got about halfway around the mall. A block away was the light rail and I could have taken it downtown, where, honestly, a barely passable crossdresser would have seemed pretty mundane. It was a thought, but I didn't want to be trapped on the light rail with someone who might not like me. "Well, if you're not going to do that, you're going in the mall!" my brain told me. I railed against it, as it was not part of the plan, but my brain was kind, but firm, "Yes, you're scared. But remember that dying thing? Yeah, go do it"
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified. But unfortunately there was nothing I could do as my brain had set this new task for me. I opened the door and stepped inside to the pleasant air conditioning. There were people everywhere and suddenly I was standing right in the middle of them. I didn't have time to balk or to run away; my legs just started walking on their own. And they made sure to work those hips. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and was suddenly horrified. Crap, Tracy, you went and made yourself hot! What were you thinking? Now guys are going to hit on you!
Almost. There was a couple walking toward me who pretty much embodied the spirit of Portland. Both were tattooed and pierced and wearing somewhat vintage clothing. The guy didn't notice me, but the girl made eye contact. She looked me over and then her face lit up. She gave me a smile that seemed to say, "I'm going to take you home with me and do to you things that they write about in penthouse letters!"
I started to sweat and realized that I had to get the heck out of here before I started getting armpit circles. I kept a normal pace and got out of the mall in time, but my heart was pounding so hard it was all I could hear. However, once I got in my car I was okay again, and I changed and drove home.
First I got pre-dressed. I wore my pads and bodysuit under a pair of girl's jeans and a normal looking top. I put on makeup, which without a wig just makes me look like a goth kid. Also, I keep my head shaved, so in reality I femmed up to look more intimidating than I usually do. But luckily the look turns dark and smoky when I put on my wig. Looking at myself in the mirror, it was hard to tell that I was wearing pads. The only giveaway were the platform shoes, but those were mostly covered by the legs of my jeans. I'm good, everything's hidden. Okay, lets go.
I packed my breasts, wig, and a cute stretchy blue top into my backpack and left the house. My plan was to drive to the lloyd center, finish my look, and then walk around the outside of the mall, which was about six blocks. Once in the parking garage, I brushed out my wig, changed my top and inserted my breasts. My breasts are just bags of rice, so while I was squishing them into a breast shape, I caught some motion out of the corner of my eye. As it turns out, someone had been sitting in their car about three spaces away and watching me.
I could have died right then.
Instead I drove away and parked in a different corner of the parking garage. Then I made sure to check every car around me for occupants, but then I realized that I already dressed and I should just go do what I set out to do. Many of you will identify with what happened next: I started trying to talk myself out of it. First started the stalling: Okay, I'll go when those people go inside, wait, now those people, now there's a car. Then came the excuses: I should totally be doing homework right now instead of playing around at the mall. finally the desperate measures: There might be a dog out there and it'll out me because dogs can smell the difference between men and women! I won't be fooling him!
I took a deep breath to calm myself. I told myself, "You're going to die someday and if you keep putting this off you're going to end up complaining about how you wasted your life not doing anything fun after you're dead. So go do it now before it's too late" I got out of the car and locked it. "That means you can't get back in until you're done!" My mind told me. So that was my mission, to walk that six blocks I'd mapped out in my mind before I'd let myself into the car again.
Now, I live in Portland, which is a great city for crossdressing. It's pretty progressive, so there are very few uptight or just plain bad people. Unless you go out to one of the suburbs, but I won't go into that right now. But I digress. One thing I hadn't seen much of in Portland until today were gangmember, but there were two of them right there in front of the mall entrance. Blue bandannas, blue baggy shorts. I decided I would walk counterclockwise around the mall instead and maybe they'd be gone once I had to pass where they were. And if not, I would just walk around the other way to get back to my car for double credit.
I began to calm down once I was walking and got about halfway around the mall. A block away was the light rail and I could have taken it downtown, where, honestly, a barely passable crossdresser would have seemed pretty mundane. It was a thought, but I didn't want to be trapped on the light rail with someone who might not like me. "Well, if you're not going to do that, you're going in the mall!" my brain told me. I railed against it, as it was not part of the plan, but my brain was kind, but firm, "Yes, you're scared. But remember that dying thing? Yeah, go do it"
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified. But unfortunately there was nothing I could do as my brain had set this new task for me. I opened the door and stepped inside to the pleasant air conditioning. There were people everywhere and suddenly I was standing right in the middle of them. I didn't have time to balk or to run away; my legs just started walking on their own. And they made sure to work those hips. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and was suddenly horrified. Crap, Tracy, you went and made yourself hot! What were you thinking? Now guys are going to hit on you!
Almost. There was a couple walking toward me who pretty much embodied the spirit of Portland. Both were tattooed and pierced and wearing somewhat vintage clothing. The guy didn't notice me, but the girl made eye contact. She looked me over and then her face lit up. She gave me a smile that seemed to say, "I'm going to take you home with me and do to you things that they write about in penthouse letters!"
I started to sweat and realized that I had to get the heck out of here before I started getting armpit circles. I kept a normal pace and got out of the mall in time, but my heart was pounding so hard it was all I could hear. However, once I got in my car I was okay again, and I changed and drove home.