She does exist.

[Lawren]

Just for the record, the totally accepting GG does exist. That's right. It is a matter of relationship. Just like every other part of a relationship, it is a matter of give and take. You have to give as much ground as you take in any aspect of a relationship. If you don't, you are putting stress into the mix and that will cause problems. Kerry and I have an understanding, which we discuss openly and often, about limitations. There are some things that she does not approve of but generally they are things that I would not do anyway. As for the few exceptions, I willfully accept her limits. As a man, I know men are not too good at intimate conversations even with their wives but they are an integral part of the relationship. You must willing to accept her limitations on your behavior and limit your restrictions on her behavoir. If you do not, then you are creating an inequality in the relationship and, again, that will add stress.

Ask yourself; Am I asking too much from my SO? Am I asking too much, too fast. If you have any doubts, than you probably are. commuication is the key. TALK TO HER!!! We all accuse women of talking too much. Maybe we, as men, do not talk enough with our SOs.

Above all, do not ask her to totally accept your views if you will not totally accept hers.

To all of you who have not yet found your SO yet, do not lose hope but do not spend your entire life alone because you are searching for Miss Perfect. It is not worth the sacrifice.

[CDTiffany]

God, I hope she's out there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XOXO Tiffany

[Saralee]

I haven't found her yet but not because I'm looking for perfection. I just have a hard time meeting women. I don't know if I would ever be comfortable discussing it with a woman face to face and wondering how she is going to react. I've gotten the impression that the majority of women aren't very comfortable with the idea. I wouldn't want to freak a woman out by telling her and risk losing her.

[rose382832]

thank you lawren for puting in words what we, the lucky ones, have known but could not tell others cause we did not have the right words.:hugs:

[Gnome Queen Sam]

Yes Lawren we do exist. I feel that your words are very much mine and my SO's relationship. The way that you put it into words makes it very real and it is nice to know that others share it as well. Thank you:hugs:

[melissacd]

Lawren,

You are correct, they do exist. My wife was non accepting and so we decided to split up. At that point I was quite depressed because I thought that I would never find anyone who could like me for who I really am - well I was wrong...

Now that I am free to look around I am finding there are actually quite a few women who are okay with this side of who I am. I am totally surprised at how many there are, the problem for me now is that I am too close to my last relationship to know what to do with this wealth of new found opportunity. Translation - I am not ready for another relationship nor will I be for a long while, however, I am enjoying getting to know these women and learning that by being authentic and up front with them about my dressing that they are totally cool with it.

The good news is that:

a) I still seem to be able to attract women - they genuinely like me
b) I am able to very early on get past the cross dresser issue and while they ask lots of good questions and express concerns they do not seem to have an issue with it
c) When I am ready to start down the relationship path I am now confident that I will find the love of my life who will accept this side of me

Honesty about this early seems to really endear them, I am learning that the rejection of cross dressing that so many of us have suffered is less about the dressing and more about the breach of trust. I suppose, in a way, my wife did me a favour by deciding to end the relationship because it will eventually free me up to find the relationship that will resonate with my soul. I am not trying to minimize the struggle that I have gone through or the loss that I have suffered, I still love my wife, but I now accept that the relationship was done a long time ago and that I need to forge a new one that better fits who I really am.

Huggs
Melissa

[Suzie S.]

Those are some sage words of advice Lawren, very well put! :hugs:

[Angie G]

She does exist and I have her :hugs:
Angie

[aka.laura]

Well spoken Lawren. Yes, they exist! But they are ofcourse hard to find...I'm very happy indeed to have found one, allthough at first I didn't know. She found out about my cd'ing after we've been married for about 3 years. Shocked atfirst it's a real turn-on now ;o)) We shop together, go out etc. I think (depending ofcourse on how important cd'ing is for one) it's worth while waiting searching and trying

[O2B Barbara]

Great words of wisdom. As said by others, being upfront and honest is a key thing, build the trust fromthe start. You might add that having a CD as a friend or mate can be great, no more wondering if he will notice the hair, new dress and so forth. My wife absolutely loves the fact that I am as ready to go girl shopping as she is.

[RachelDenise]

Well spoken. It is more difficult when the GG doesn't want to communicate about the issues. This is my plight. We have an unspoken hostile truce about CDing. Worse than don't ask, don't tell. I wish it were different. I feel that I have lost a part of me that I can never reclaim.

[melissacd]

Rachel, I can completely relate to what you say, when you cannot communicate in any effective way about it, it is a living hell, definitely worse than do ask don't tell. I also am beginning to understand how beautiful it can be to have women in your life who do understand.

[Josephine 1941]

Hi Girls.

Hello Lawren yes they are all over the place. since my divorce I have met 5 women that are very confortuable with my dressing. It is a mater of honesty and be sincer with any of them. I was divorced in 05 not because of the dressing but there was a rat in the mix. I have moved on an was very surprized to find out how many women like there men to have a femine side. There are all degrees that they will aceped ,so you the CD has to find what is your own confored zone. I have found that in the older women , I am 66, that they love the idea of a boy friend an girl friend. My present girl friend calls me her she/male,we have been together for a year ok by me. We are the same size in cloths 16, so we exchange out fits. I have better fashion sence, just last night she wore the skirt that I was going to were. So I fixed her I went as a man . All kidding aside I have it made, she has even been talking with me on the idea of opening a school on her giving tips on make up an posture as she was a model. I would teach some of you girls how to communitcate with any women you want, its is an art just ask any Cd that has a women that loves an works with him. Most men don't know how to be femine with your SO,your own gilt of dressing is your worst emeny . When you act in a way that your SO see you are stand offish, end of game. To all you wanting to dress as a female, there is a scale of one to ten. I think you have too pick were on that scale you want to be, then find a women or man that can live with your male an femine side. No one said it would be easy, then what is ,good luck to all

Josephine

[Makina]

I totally agree with you Lawren. I think giving ground is a way to share the toy "crossdressing" with your SO. Doing this, the game can change, with restrictions, and sometimes good surprises. I don't regret the ground I gave.

[Toyah]

I agree to a point hunny I am sure they exist.
My wife is very good about my dressing sometimes she gets grumpy sometimes she is OK but just gotta go with what she wants sometimes

[Leah B]

I just wanted to comment: There's a perception that women talk more than men, but study after study has shown the opposite. Just in case might be interested in a factoid.

[insearchofme]

Leah B

I would love to see some of those studies saying that men talk more than women. Please let us know how we can get them.

[Kerry Owens]

It doesn't really matter what study said what, but the important thing is both the CD partner and GG partner both talk and listen to each other.

[marie354]

It doesn't even matter if you are just a CD of go all the way and become a TS or simply are totally straight.
Communication is the key to any relationship.
Whether it be with your SO or your best friend. If one doesn't understand the viewpoints the other is trying to express clearly, then there will be a misunderstanding.
So staying open and honest with your friends is the most important rule that we all must adhere to throughout our entire life.
After all, your SO is also your best friend... At the very top of the list.
:hugs:

[Dixie]

It's soooo true I'm married to the most supportive Wife a Gurl could ever hope for. Cheers to you for finding yours! :drink:

[jennifer easton]

I have one, shes known now for at least two years , we shop together, when I get home I can be Jennifer any time I like, when we go out I can under dress, I use good judgement though if there will be huging like family or friends I wont do the bra! but always have girly undies!.
My GF, theres know one like her, shes my best friend, shes my best girlfriend, and shes my lover! nothing else I can say

[O2B Barbara]

It took lot of years, and probably alot more growth on my part, but I am one of the lucky ones. My wife knows all about me and is fine with it. Even suggests things and teases Barbara even when she is not dressed.

We have been together 8 1/2 years and have not had a fight. Not to say we don't get upset with each onther once in awhile, but we talk it out and no fight.

Communication and honesty is the key.