Is it so hard to find real CD friends?

[kathly]

I was just wondering how many of you girls have actually meet real friends who you hang out and dress together? I have try to make friends in the real world but a lot of them are just interested in having sex even though I always make it clear when ever I chat that I am only looking for friendship. I have a GFwho I love.how many of you girls have ran into this problem? and if you have meet another cd what have been your good experiences and bad experiences.

[Deidra Cowen]

I have lots of CD/Tgirl friends that I generally met from the clubbing scene here in Atlanta. Got a few that I got to know from the net...but then again when we met it was out at da clubs...well also at the big Tranny convention called SCC. (by the way probably have met 5 or so girls from this forum in person and can call them friends.)

Out of all those friends that really are more casual than anything else I have just a handful of Tgirls that I would call CLOSE friends. Just like most people when picking out friends, those girls are kinda sorta like me. They are still sneaky about being a Tgirl at work and with most their family...however they do like to go out clubbing, shopping, etc enfemme on a regular basis. Not knocking the girls that don't do that..I know some are married, have other issues...but still thats who I get to be very close too and hang out with...Girls with simular circumstances that I got going on.

[Kate Simmons]

Experience has taught me it's hard to get folks to commit to do things, especially if they are closeted. Holidays are usually bad as they will be spending time with their families. After many disappointments in this respect, I've found it is better for me to go it alone and if I do happen to get together with someone, fine. If not, I always manage to have a good time one way or another.:happy:

[EricaCD]

I have several good CD friends. Most are in California but I am finally coming out of my shell in New York a bit. I think for most cds, there is definitely a fairly high "flake out" factor in getting together for the first time. I have actually been pretty lucky - the vast majority of my friends are both reliable AND conscientious about giving as much notice as possible if a schedule conflict arises.

The people I do meet are girls (and some admirers) whom I have gotten to know pretty well online. This is for two reasons. First, we have had enough discussions so that both parties fully agree that it's going to be a platonic meeting. Second, it's good to know that we are going to have something in common besides being crossdressers. And perhaps these two factors work reciprocally - and result in a better ratio of successful meetings. That is, if the other girl knows that neither of us has any sort of hidden (erotic) agenda, and that we probably have lots to talk about, she's hopefully going to be more enthusiastic about meeting.

Erica

[marie354]

As there are no clubs that are less than 40-50 miles away from me here, the opportunity to meet others that CD are few and far in-between.
I have only met one other in person in my area and they came 50 miles just to meet. They were only interested in dressing and chatting, so all went great.
I am on a couple of dating sites though, and most of the people there really only want one thing. And it has nothing with putting clothes on!
I have posted my picture en-femme on them and specified that I am a crossdresser.
When I write them back, if they have chosen to write to me, I always make sure that they understand that I'm a man that wears woman's clothing. And that I just want to have fun, not sex. Even if I did, I'd still have to get to know them a lot better before I'd ever even think about that kind of thing.
One must be careful.
:hugs:

[Holly]

I guess I'm a lot like EricaCD (whom I've met and had dinner with a couple of times and consider a friend). I invest quite a bit of time in the very beginning, getting to know the other person. It seems to pay off. I have over a dozen friends I see and/or talk to regularly. One onther thing that has helped a lot for me is attending CD/TG events. I've been going to Diva Las Vegas now for awhile and have met girls from litterally all over the world. I've become a big sister to three of them. If you really want to establish friendships, it will take more effort that posting a note on the internet and waiting for the world to beat a path to your door.

[Eva Diva]

I would think that organized group meetings would be the way to go. There's a group here in Boston that meets each week, and they have strict rules about their web site - no sex ads, no naughty pics, etc. It's just people who want to get together with other t-girls and talk and go dancing. I'd look for a similar group in your area. If you're in Van Nuys, I have to assume that there are similar groups within a short drive.

[Phoebe Reece]

You need to meet people face to face to develop real friendships. If you join a support group you increase the chances that you will meet people that have similar interests which could lead to a friendship. In a support group you have a regular opportunity to get to know someone a bit better. Real friendships take time to develop. I have quite a number of CD's that I consider as friends. A more select group of CD's are those that I consider close friends that I often get together with for things that have nothing to do with crossdressing. I met all of my closest friends through my involvement with my support group.

[Samantha B L]

All of my experiences with other CD's have been pleasant and none of them want to have sex.I knew a few CD's like 25 years ago that were into sex but I didn't mix it up with them very much because I was about 26-27 years old and this group of people were just barely out of high school.I like shopping and the whole itinerary of crossdressers stuff.One of these years I would like to go one of those CD conventions or maybe even an M to F fashion show. I just let the person know what my interests and limitations are and so far there hasn't been any problem.In particular,I've made a lot of CD freinds on this forum

[bredalee25]

Funny you should ask this question. Just this past friday i took a roadtrip to meet another CD for just the very same thing to dress with and talk and just hang out as girls together I had such a wonderful time i'll be going back alot in the future.

So far my only experience has been positive i'm really looking forward to becoming good if not best friends with her. She was looking for someone to just hang out with also no sex just two girls with the same interests. They are out there if you look hard enough if you were closer to me i'd be your dressing companion and girl friend to just hang with and talk clothes or what ever might come up.

ttfn

[Rita B]

I was just wondering how many of you girls have actually meet real friends who you hang out and dress together? I have try to make friends in the real world but a lot of them are just interested in having sex even though I always make it clear when ever I chat that I am only looking for friendship. I have a GFwho I love.how many of you girls have ran into this problem? and if you have meet another cd what have been your good experiences and bad experiences. I know what you mean. Curiosity just made me look into one of those "friend finder groups" that shall remain nameless. I think the first question in the profile set up is sexual orientation.

Dear girl, listen to your granny. I don't know where you live but seek out a crossdressing group like Tris-Ess or I happen to know about Tiffany's here in new england. There is safety in numbers and maybe this woulod give you an opportunity to make better choices.:hugs:

Rita B from New England

[Karren H]

Have a few friends locally... dressed a few times and it doesn't do anything for me.... Meet for lunch with a few, in drab.... I can get out at odd times vs everyone else but I'm just as happy out enfemme solo as with someone else.... Guess it's just me....

Love Karren

[dancingdan485]

Yes, I agree it is very hard to find a local cd who just wants to hang out together. For me nothing wrong with the sex part but it comes and goes. I would truly like to meet a local that seeks friendship and just doing things together besides the sex. Danielle

[Julogden]

Back when I lived in the city (Chicago) and was actively going out to bars and participating in support groups, I had 3 friends (2 CD's and 1 TS) who I got together with on a regular basis, including at each others homes. We'd go out together too.

I had lots of other friends who I only saw in clubs or at community things. Many people are very closeted to the point that they won't associate with other CD's or TS's exept in "safe" situations, and their home isn't one of those places.

In recent times, I've occasionally gone to meetings of another local group, and it seems like everyone just wants to go to bars and hang out, no one seems to want to make friends outside of that, not sure why that is. I'm not fond of hanging around in bars any more, and would like to have friends that I can do regular stuff with, visit at their place and have them visit me in my home, dressed up or not, but it seems to be very difficult to find others wanting that, at least for me.

Carol:hugs:

[TxKimberly]

I have. In fact I have met in person with three girls from this forum and all three were terrific ladies! :-)
Kim

[Alicia_lynn419]

Same thing here... have a hard time meeting "girls" who are on the same page - I know they're out there... BTW, I'm also in Atlanta (And Dierdra, you look great)! I know a few girls who are on the up and up, but most I "meet" on line are not... and I have seen many in the local clubs that I feel only contribute to the negative stereotype that we face.... it can be really frustrating at times....

[Chiana]

I have only met one other C/D'er in person. I am a non-smoker and she was a chain smoker. I felt I was going to suffocate before I left. She was nice but I couldn't get around the heavy smoke environment. I guess she was nervous because she was lighting up one cigarette after another. I partially stipped in my car on the way home to try to escape the lingering smell. Not the experience I was looking forward to.

[Mitch23]

I was just wondering how many of you girls have actually meet real friends who you hang out and dress together? I have try to make friends in the real world but a lot of them are just interested in having sex even though I always make it clear when ever I chat that I am only looking for friendship. I have a GFwho I love.how many of you girls have ran into this problem? and if you have meet another cd what have been your good experiences and bad experiences.

one or two developing relationships. difficult because my lifestyle means that my dressing time is very limited and often they lead busy lifestyles too. love to meet a friend who just wants to go girlie shopping and dress up together - not interested in having sex with them!


mitch

[Carin's Wife GG]

to meet with several other CDers/TGs in our area. we are looking forward to meeting Erica CD in the near future. we have what I would consider a close reltionship with roberta from here IRL. it is so wonderful to find other likeminded people wo connect with! Anyone in the By area welcome to contact us, we love to get out!


Louise.

[barbra]

i am a cd and love it.but were i live its hard to find friends here to.all people want to do is look down on you and judge you for what you are.thats ok for them.i would love to meet other cds here just to be friends with and enjoy life as it comes.one day i will meet someone close by to spend the day with to have fun and enjoy each others company.:happy:

[O2B Barbara]

Since I am fairly new to the realization and acceptance of being a crossdresser, I have not taken the time to actively try and meet others. This forum is the main extent at this time. There are a couple of CD/TS that live just a few miles away (found them on http://cross-dressing.vickyf.com/index.php?Type=State&id=64) but have not tried to contact them yet. Would love to meet others and talk & share ideas & comfortable times.

[Sally24]

There is always that undercurrent of sex when you go out with a larger group of T-girls. It's just part of the package. You just have to keep it clear that you are not interested and it helps if the club or group specifically bans that kind of activity.

You really should be able to search for and find some kind of social group or counseling group that get together. And as some of the other girls have mentioned, most "regulars" on here seem to be pretty nice people. I have met 3 or 4 and we've always had a good time and enjoyed each others company. (Can't wait for you to make it back to New England - Kim!).

[Toyah]

Its not really something I am interested in doing meeting othere I guess I just dont see the point. I dont want to go out dressed and meting someone dressed when I was not would just seem not right

[kathly]

I agree with a lot of you girls that you have to talk with a person for a while before meeting and that is exactly what I have done and that is when I usually find out that the person is interested in something else rather than frienship. The reason i would like to have cd friends is that no one knows except for one person knows about it and is something that talking about to someone helps a lot.

[Toyah]

Honey if ya wanna chat just contact me on Yahoo when I am around I am about 50 50 dressed some days I just cannot be bothered but I work away a lot

[Jodi]

I have been actively going out for about the last 8 years. Over that time, I have met hundreds of other cd's. Right now, I have many acquaintances, but there are only two that I consider to be true friends. Friendships are earned over time. The two girls that I consider friends have attributes that I respect, have common interests with me (other than dressing), and can be trusted.

I have had many girls come on very strong wanting to be friends. When I detect this pushiness, I back off quickly. I learned this the hard way years ago. Around 1999-2000, I had just begun going out. Some of the girls wanted immediate friendship. What I found out was that friendship to them was always wanting to borrow my clothes, come to my house for a place to dress, and want me to drive and pay for an outing. They didn't want to give anything in return. So much for shallow friendships.

I live alone and live my own life. I have set ways of doing things. I guess you might say I'm eccentric:heehee:. I've learned to be quite careful in developing "friendships". My experience has been that most of the girls want much more from a friendship than they are wiling to give. Just my personal experience.

Jodi

[Kristen Kelly]

I have made a lot TG friends over the last 18 months going out, and I know who likes to “Play” and those that are out to socialize. Early on I met a girl with many interests the same as mine, and about on the same level of confidence. We have become extremely close friends in all modes, and go out often. Someone I can confide in and accept honest criticism from. I have said we are like bookends, almost alike; I would not be where I am today without her. I am happy to call her a TRUE friend.

[jessie_cal]

Since I'm new to dressing up, I haven't met anybody. But now that I'm not so busy for the summer, I'm going to make an active effort to meet people.

My wife and I went to a TG bar, but there were mostly men looking for dates. It was kind of a weird feeling. On the plus side, I didn't have to pay since it was free for ladies before 11.:D

[Dixie]

I have met two other crossdressers since going out in public, one was as a direct result of this cite.

[CD Tammy]

While I living in Rhode Island I finally got up the guts to find a Trans Club and go visit. Put on a sexy corset, garters & stockings. Then I put on my slacks and shirt and went to find the place. Searched all over Providence only to find the damned place with a padlock on the door.

Moved to Atlanta, went seeking a place near Underground. Found out it had been closed. No luck.

[noname]

I'm not so interested in finding CD friends as I am finding people who accept me and let me be myself.

[cindybarnes]

Shortly after discovering the internet (I was way behind) I found a few local girls in another chat room. After chatting a while I discoverd they were part of a large group of friends that got together for girls nights out ,sometimes here in Atlanta, sometimes Nashville or Chattanooga.
Well it didnt take long for me to make a long list of CD friends, some closer than others, some I even got together with for guy things. I can honestly say that after all the nights out clubbing and weekend girl trips I never had anyone want anything more than friendships!
I have gotten old and boring I guess because I dont go out as often anymore, maybe a few times a year instead of once a month or more, but I still try and stay in touch with everyone.
It may depend on where you live or how willing you are to travel to socialise,but no doubt that joining a group will eventualy help make friends,, hope everyone is as lucky as I was!

Cindy

[susie evans]

i agree with a lot of the post's here and i think a lot depends on your comfort/experiance level i have met some girls from here and also go solo i just enjoy the life style :hugs:

susie

[kathy333]

I know what you mean about hanging out with some crossdresses would be nice, but i just found out there is a hole world of out here and i can only get the courage to talk with ya'll this way. I'm waiting for the courage to try to find.frends (i dont go to bars) ok oncw in a while long while

[Stormgirl]

Never met any from the net and never made any friends offline however I would like to make some CD friends. Hey Deb, you around? :love:

[paulaN]

I have been looking for someone to go out with for a very long time. It has not happened yet. Came close once. I don't get to go out very often so hitting it right has always been the hardest part. Solo is better than nothing. Having someone someone to watch your back would be real nice.

[Frankie-Dear]

I haven't met anyone. Tri-ESS doesn't even have a chapter anywhere near me, and I tried contacting a group of CDers in Nashville, and never got a reply....

It sucks! :(

[chucks]

there is some LGBT club type thing at the university i go to, but i'm not that interested in meeting others. i like being a hermit too much to have many friends.

[Patricia Danielle]

I would love a chance to meet some other CDs the only problem I see is it's a 45 min drive to anything where I live. Most of what I've read on this site has been up front but pretty laid back and really down to earth. So I would enjoy meeting people from this site. I'm in NW Missouri so like I said it's a long drive to anything for me..Patricia..:drink: I have coffee life is good..

[immike]

i am a cd and love it.but were i live its hard to find friends here to.all people want to do is look down on you and judge you for what you are.thats ok for them.i would love to meet other cds here just to be friends with and enjoy life as it comes.one day i will meet someone close by to spend the day with to have fun and enjoy each others company.:happy:
I'm a CD,from Pa.I am always looking for friends&GG's,to help me understand
this problem

[Country girl]

I'm a GG, but what Holly has said is true. The best way to meet and make new friends who also enjoy CDing is to go to CD specific events. Even then there are no guarantees. As with anything in life, some personalities click while others don't. Just because you enjoy the same things doesn't mean you will enjoy each other. But these kind of social gatherings are your best bet. Good luck! :hugs: CG GG

[Sara Kat]

I really wish I could find a few CD friends that I can hang out with. So far it's been pretty much limited to talking on the net.

[Mitch23]

met some good cd friends but haven't got to the hanging out stage yet. May take a little time!

Mitch

[BarbaraTalbot]

I haven't met anyone. Tri-ESS doesn't even have a chapter anywhere near me, and I tried contacting a group of CDers in Nashville, and never got a reply....

It sucks! :(

I emailed my local chapter and no response at all 2 weeks ago.

I wanst sure of protocol but I sent them a brief history, and a link to my Blog so they could see I was serious, nothing.

I got a couple of hits from my local area with no referring pages on my blog. This was a day or two after I sent the info, so I kinda assumed they had to run it by a group maybe?

If my area is inactive then the whole organization cant be that strong? I am in the phoenix metro, 5th largest city, very spread out lots of places to be anonymous, some pretty liberal areas..

[Erinn]

I was just wondering how many of you girls have actually meet real friends who you hang out and dress together? I have try to make friends in the real world but a lot of them are just interested in having sex even though I always make it clear when ever I chat that I am only looking for friendship. I have a GFwho I love.how many of you girls have ran into this problem? and if you have meet another cd what have been your good experiences and bad experiences.


Don't bother as we are our own worst enemies. CDers are cattier than GG's

[AlysonCD]

No luck finding any here either. I have found a few who were interested in more then just hanging out though in my area

[CherylKCCD]

My SO and I like to go out. We've tried to maintain a circle of friends, but find we get commitments to meet up in a safe place with a CD, then get stood up for one reason or another. We've been to a couple of TG events like Diva Las Vegas and made some very nice friends, including other GG friends that my SO can identify with. However, it's our feeling that the internet has squeezed a lot of crossdressers back into the closet. It's so darn convenient to get on a site like this and never need to leave the comfort of home.

[TerriM]

I met my 1st CD in person in 1977. I went to a CD party at a private hse. It was the 1st time I was out. I met another CD and we started talking. I felt like she was reading my mind. It was such a nice feeling. At the time I was a police officer and when I found out the Cd I was talking to was a fireman I was really shocked.
Living in the NYC area I consider myself lucky in meeting others like myself. Over the years I have met many nice people because of my crossdressing. Each year I go to Fantasia Fair and meet friends each year.

Terri

[sherri]

I was just wondering how many of you girls have actually meet real friends who you hang out and dress together? I have try to make friends in the real world but a lot of them are just interested in having sex
It's a very common problem. It always amazes me how many CDs assume that because two people are into dressing sex is the agenda, like it's a given or something.

In my experience, getting local gurls to meet in public is extremely difficult. There are no support groups or organized events in my area. My recent attempt to organize a gurls night out yielded zip, even though I know there are quite a few in our area. Most seem to be too shy or paranoid to go out, and the rest just want to meet in private, probably for sex.

if you have meet another cd what have been your good experiences and bad experiences.
I have gone out with a few gurls whom I first got to know online. All were pleasant experiences. Only one, however, has developed into a longterm friendship, and while we don't live close enough to one another to go out frequently, we correspond regularly and always have a great time when we do get out.

So yeah, it can be tough, but hang in there. Sooner or later you'll probably find the right chemistry and it can be worth the effort.

[krisla]

Kathly

I meet some girls on the California roll call, which lead me to Tri-Ess. I now have a small network of nice freinds, we meet at the Tri-Ess meetings and for breakfast drab once a month. I have also met a forum member while on a business trip and we also had a nice time. You may want to try the alpha chapter of Tri-Ess to meet people since you are in the LA area.

Krisla

[Tamera]

Hi Kathly,

Meet the world of a GG.
Even GG's meet guys who just want to have sex. But once in a while they find someone who doesn't.

Maybe if we just wouldn't look so DAMN good, us girls wouldn't have that problem.
LOL
Tamera

[Alice Torn]

I have never met anyone yet. I admit, that I am a bit of a loner, and a bit paranoid. On some other alternative dating sites, all the admirers, and others, who have winked, or e-mailed me, were after one thing, or two: sexual meetings, or longterm relationship, with regular sex. On this site, a few cd's have offered to meet me, and sounded ok, but, I am still shy about meeting, or ever going out dressed again. What do some of you mean, by "dressing together?" Does that mean, dressing up, in the same room, at the same time, together? Or, just meeting dressed up, already? I really don't want to dress, from naked, in the presence of another person. Maybe, dress up in separate rooms. Just shy, cautious, paranoid.

[SabrinaDubh]

Personally, I am having the hardest time finding some T-girlfriends. I can find aquaintances aplenty, but haven't found anyone I really wanted to be FRIENDS with.

I had one really good friend fo a while but she gave up on CDing for personal reasons. Part of that was no longer associating with other cross-dressers.

I have one other very close friend who is now TS and full time. While we are still friends she is developing that "I am a deep TS and you're just a shallow CD" attitude and it get's old pretty quick.

Anyhoo.. I am having a Dickens of a time making friends. Anyone want to hang out with a cynical mid 30's aging ex-punk rock hippy who drinks way too much Guinness, smokes a little pot, values coffee above all other beverages, loves his wife, has too many kitties, reads, thinks American Idol is indicative of the lack of cultural and artistic taste of the American people, does medieval recreation (SCA) too seriously, doesn't pass very well but doesn't care, and does not have any kids? If so send me a message and lets get dressed up in our jeans, black top, and mary janes, and go see Flogging Molly play the next time they are in town.

:drink:

See what I mean? :p