Why is it so hard to make friends here?

[Ericka2]

Hi everyone, i guess its been hard for me anyway, do you girls have the same problem? what im saying is that everyone is very nice and polite, but i would like to meet girls like me, that they live in the city and maybe hangout on a weekend, i like to go to Houston, and i could even fly, but i would like to make friends first, i have a girlfriend that is ok with me cdng and she usually with me when i do it, isn't that lovely? hope to hear from you.


Love Ericka

[faltenrock]

Hi Ericka,

well I agree. However, this forum is mostly a US forum, so to me it will be difficult to make freinds who I could actually meet in reality - I live in Germany.
But of course it's perhaps possible to make friends though e-mail or PM or whatever.
So far, I havn't found anyone from my city, which is Hamburg. I think most people have difficulties with the foreign language, some might be active in German forums and organizations. To me, this forum is by far the best I've found since I surf around in the www.

I've also met very nice people here.

Doreen

[Wendy me]

hi lol let me tell you this my intro thread when i started had 1 welcome .... i see your's has like 21 posts in it .... OK now all you have to do is post replies in threads ... be polite and truthful above all else be you that simple ... i started out here like any other newbie here .... now i have Friends all over the world .....

now get out posting and being truthful .... one more thingy .... just have fun and be you....

[Mardi]

Conventions are a good place to meet other crossdressers.
I have meant CD'S and other transgendered people by going to diva las vegas,girls from England, NZ, and the US.

[Holly]

Ericka, please give it a bit more time. There's a whole forum full of people here who are willing to be your friend... you can count me as one of them:hugs:. Just continue to post and have fun!

[Mardi]

I meant Holly the (Godmother of crossdress.com) at DLV

[GypsyKaren]

Hi Ericka

It just takes a little time for everyone to get to know each other is all, so just keep posting and be prepared for a flood of us wanting to be your friend...be patient!

Karen

[uknowhoo]

Adittionally there are two other forums on this site which you may wish to read from time to time. There's "Meeting Place" where gurls (or boyz) post threads saying something like "hi, looking for girlfriends to hang out with in TX" or some such. You may even wish to go back several pages of threads in that forum to find an older thread specific to your area. There is also the "Upcoming CD Events" forum which has info on girls nights out, conventions and the like. You're not the only one here looking for CD company, y'know. You just need to be involved, be patient, and know where to look. Good luck to ya. xoxo Tammi

EDIT: I just checked the Meeting Place, and here's a current thread with over 100 replies over the past month! http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=29117 :GD:

[Andi]

Ericka, considering that many CDers (like myself) are stuck so deep in the closet that we can't/won't venture out; this forum and the private message/e-mail channel is all that we have available to make friends. OMG, I hope my computer never breaks, it's all I have available to access the sane part of my world. I hope you are able to find that special person near your area that can be more than a cyber friend.

[stormrider]

Erika, I think you will find many friends on this forum but if you are looking to get together in person it may take a little time to do. Altough there are a lot of girls here who have taken the step of socializing as themselves, many of us are new to that aspect of CDing. We have lived for so long worried about being caught, that we are reluctant to venture far from the comfort of our computer screen. I for one would love to meet and socialize privately with other CDs or transgenders, but am so remote from larger metropolitan areas that not too many people just "pass by" here. I am also a bit shy when it comes to meeting new people so I don't have much of a social life in either gender. For now, I am content to just make some friends online. I have met some very sweet people who I correspond with occasionally and one wonderfull TG with whom I converse almost daily. As you interact in this group, I believe you will make bonds that may eventually lead to personal friendships. Be patient and it will happen. Take care hon.

Michelle

[barbra]

here in ga in small town.still looking for other cds to get together with may be go shopping but most of all looking for friends and someone to talk to.friends only.not into the wild thing any more.sex.:happy:

[Rachel Morley]

You asked "Why is it so hard to make friends here?" .... I don't think it is. :confused:

What I recommend you do is when you post, post a little about yourself and how the subject of the thread relates to your particular situation. Also when you post you might end up saying something that others can identify with. Then before you know it your personality will come through in your writing and then, often, someone will PM you. I can't tell you how many friends I have here because of me or them connecting via a PM. Before long you will be PMing others and they PMing you on a regular basis. Sometimes you even end up meeting in person .... but it does take time.

I have made friends with, and met in person, 8 members here and there are many more friends that I met here that I regularly correspond with via email. IMHO this place is great for making friends. Give it time or why not PM someone yourself and just start "talking" :happy:

[Dixie]

Well I got to meet Viviann who lives near me, we haven't dressed or gone out but we did meet and talk. Try leaving a message in the meeting place forum.

[O2B Barbara]

Hi Erika, I too am fairly new here and while I can not say that I have made any individual friends I do feel welcome and accepted within the forum. It feels like a safe place for us to share feelings and ask questions. I have seen no negative comments regarding posts that have been made.

Feel free to consider me a friend.

[Victoria Anne]

Hello Erika, just give it some time. I have been a member for 8 months now and have met a few of the girls here. It will take some time just remember we all are to make friends with other girls like ourselves,for myself you can concider me a friend and If I happen to pass through with some time I'll PM you.
Viccy

[RobertaFermina]

If you want to have a friend, be a friend.

I remember this, and it works for me by reaching out to do the friendly things I would want to be offered for me.

Result - more acquintances and friends than I have time.

Getting out to Dress-Up Socials helps.

One thing in my favor - I live in the fabulous accepting SF Bay Area - that cuts through the fear that keeps so many of us isolated.

Wishing you peace, and life-expanding friendships !

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Dixie]

You are lucky Roberta, but I still get out right here in good ole' "Mayberry".:heehee::drink:[/I]

[Kelsy]

Some times I feel like I am talking to a computer screen and get little response but I try not to get weird on it and shrug it off with a smile. :happy: like all human interactions there is a clik thing that happens, no ones fault really, you just converse with those you know and like!! But everyone here is a real person and I have meet some and have really enjoyed who they are. so relax we are in this together:D

Jennifer

[marie354]

I have met a quite a few here that I would call friends. There's only one that I have met in person though, and they're 50-60 miles away from me.
That doesn't mean that I'm going to PM or EM everyone.
Go with the flow. Everyone here is great. I'm sure you'll come to love them as much as I have.
:hugs:

[Kate Simmons]

It's nice to be able to talk with people who have similar interests and discuss things and different issues. We are from all over the world and we all have things to do and family obligations, etc. Had I never come here and never joined I would have missed out on meeting a bunch of nice folks. I have met a few from the Forum but it takes time and hopefully I will meet some more of the friends I have met here in the coming years. I do count myself fortunate, however, in meeting such a nice group of folks and whether we ever meet in person or not, I consider all of them friends.:happy:

[Dixie]

You will meet wonderful people here I know I have!!

[Toyah]

Its not difficult to make lots of friends here, as for meeting I think all but a few are very wary of this

[JoAnnDallas]

Erika....I joined this and some other forums back in 2005. Since then, I have developed close friendships with a few girls here and on other forums. One (Natalie) lives in the UK, another (Emily) lives in NC. Then in 2006, I meet Tootsye. Tootsye is the membership officer of the local Dallas Tri-Ess Chapter. She informed me that HEF2006 was being held in Dallas, TX and would be a great way to meet others like ourselfs. I went and not only meet a lot of us from all over the country, but got invited to visit the local chapter meeting. I have sense joined the local chapter.
There are CD meetings going on all year long. Some will require travel, but are worth it. There are even Crusies that you can go on. One is out of the Houston/Galveston area. As been stated check the Events sections on various forums. It is a great way to find out where CD events are being held and contact info for them. You can PM me if you like and I will send you links to other CD forums that may be of interest to you. The wider the reach, the more you will learn.

[Michelle 51]

Ericka, considering that many CDers (like myself) are stuck so deep in the closet that we can't/won't venture out; this forum and the private message/e-mail channel is all that we have available to make friends. OMG, I hope my computer never breaks, it's all I have available to access the sane part of my world. I hope you are able to find that special person near your area that can be more than a cyber friend.

I feel the same way Andigirl.Erika for a lot of us the reason we can be free to express how we feel etc to each other on here is because this is cyber space and we can step out of our closet so to speak and be friend's but in the real world we live mile's even continent's apart. Justabit

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

I used to get lots of mail here but none lately. Wish I could hear more from the girls here.

Sasha Anne

[Sasha IN]

You could try what I did... I happened across meetup.com and found that they had a Chicago Crossdresser and Transgender group. I went out for the first time in years to one of their monthly events and met some really nice people. (Okay, I was scared to death at first, but now I'm hooked!) It looks like Houston has a group started too, so you may want to look into it if you want to meet people in person.

[MsJanessa]

Adittionally there are two other forums on this site which you may wish to read from time to time. There's "Meeting Place" where gurls (or boyz) post threads saying something like "hi, looking for girlfriends to hang out with in TX" or some such. You may even wish to go back several pages of threads in that forum to find an older thread specific to your area. There is also the "Upcoming CD Events" forum which has info on girls nights out, conventions and the like. You're not the only one here looking for CD company, y'know. You just need to be involved, be patient, and know where to look. Good luck to ya. xoxo Tammi

EDIT: I just checked the Meeting Place, and here's a current thread with over 100 replies over the past month! http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=29117 :GD:
Hi Hon---I sympathize with your frustation on getting to actually meet other T-Girls---even using the thread mentioned by Oooh Tammi I have found that relatively few girls who post here and on that thread actually have the nerve to go out the door dressed and actually meet another T-Girl---I do meet them all the time when I'm dressed and enjoy myself immensely but there are many cds here and elsewhere who might fantasize about going out dressed and meeting people but don't have the nerve to do it. Unfortunatly oftentimes these girls do an unspeakably rude thing and make dates and then just don't show up for them----I suspect those wannebes and no shows will have a special place in the afterlife where they have to sit close to the fire--lol---anyway go to local gay and T bars--keep trying here and elsewhere and you will eventually meet some of Us good luck

[Sharon]

Some of my best friends are those who I have met in this forum, a couple of whom I have met in person, and many more who I chat with regularly and intimately, meaning that we are open and honest with one another and trust each other without hesitation.

When you see a member on the forum who you feel you might like to get to know, just send them a private message and say hi or say how much you enjoy what they have to say. Nine times out of ten, they will respond and then you're on your way to a possible friendship.

[Marcie Sexton]

You have struck on something that is so true, yet very sad...This day and time dictates that we all for the sake of safety establish a comfort zone...

I have on many occasions made the statement that there are no "real" friends. My father had guys he hung out with, had a beer or two, hunted and fished. This day and time it is all a matter of life and the society we now live in...We are ever consumed by our personal lives and families, with little or no time for others, just a fact of life...That along with the nature of the beast, being suspicious keeps us at arms length...

Now lets add the fact we choose to live all or a great portion of our lives mimicking a woman does tend to add a degree of difficulty as to whom and how we choose our friends...

I too would like to meet others who share a common interest in my life style, but for now, I'll enjoy being in contact with them here...

[Ericka2]

Thanks to you all that taken your time to answer, i guess my coment was kind of unfair, i guess i need to put a little more effort to make friends, and i will follow your advice, thanks again.

Love Ericka

[sami1952]

I guess we are all the the same boat,I'll too would to meet and be friends with other cders and maybe some day, i will until then i just go out by myself and enjoy my second life.

[Seville]

Some of us have wives that WON'T let us meet other CDs.
Personally, would I like to meet you, Erika, YES!!!, but my
situation won't allow it.

I presume other Gurls are in the same position.
You've received good advice - "Keep Posting" -
and you will meet friends.

[Chiana]

Hi everyone, i guess its been hard for me anyway, do you girls have the same problem? what im saying is that everyone is very nice and polite, but i would like to meet girls like me, that they live in the city and maybe hangout on a weekend, i like to go to Houston, and i could even fly, but i would like to make friends first, i have a girlfriend that is ok with me cdng and she usually with me when i do it, isn't that lovely? hope to hear from you.


Love Ericka

It is because we are all so self centered and consumed with our own problems..... Did I say that? Naw, just kidding.

Why is everything about you? Oooops, there I go again. Uh, just kidding. Really....

Welcome. Stay a while and have some fun. I am 250 miles from Houston. Send me a PM if you would like.

[Ekatcha]

You have struck on something that is so true, yet very sad...This day and time dictates that we all for the sake of safety establish a comfort zone...

I have on many occasions made the statement that there are no "real" friends. My father had guys he hung out with, had a beer or two, hunted and fished. This day and time it is all a matter of life and the society we now live in...We are ever consumed by our personal lives and families, with little or no time for others, just a fact of life...That along with the nature of the beast, being suspicious keeps us at arms length...
I don't know if it's so much the day & time as the personality. Perhaps its a bit of both. Not so long ago, one was forced to interact with the local community more than today. Life was more local focused than global focused.. though I'm not entirely sure that was for the better. One didnt hear or see what happened in another country, interact with other like-minded sorts from all over the world, etc. These days, the opportunity is there.

Personality... some are just more adept at it than others. Me, I'm not so adept, "in real life" or otherwise (as if what part of this aint real?). I typically have few friends, but they've typically been close ones. Given that though, the only living, breathing in front of me, person I ever confessed my CDing to was my ex-wife, and even then she didn't get the entire story (never told her how I felt about it really... just about it, which is a somewhat significant difference). I have, somewhat cliched, circles of trust in which anyone I meet falls into... rings of walls around me, worm your honor, and thats protection for me.

I've had a handfull of close friends in my lifetime and perhaps one shines above the rest. Genuine friends are rare I think and we're lucky to have and find them. Regardless, relationships (of any kind) take time and effort to cultivate. Sometimes they fruit and sometimes they wither.

[Ericka2]

You all been such a good help, thank you soo much for your input, in all honesty, i only had a couple of real friends in my lifetime, don't know why, lot of girfriends but that was just for show, i can't believe how good it feels some little advice would do, thank you all.

Love Ericka

[bredalee25]

Ericka now don't you feel just a bit silly we're one big happy family here spread all over the world and like any family we have our spats our outspoken oppinions our constructive critisism of other members but in all we do have fun being ourselves. I couldn't ask for a better place to be than right here at crossdressers.com where one can be the person they wnt to be or admire people like us. Welcome to the forum hun if ya want to talk just pm me and i'll be your friend even if it's long distance from PA to TX.

ttfn

[Tammy_j]

hi Erika, i'm like you..hard to make friends on the net. it is great though..super really. years ago i went to Germany to visit some relatives in the military. i thought it was a really nice place. we went off base and visited Frankfurt, Koblenz, and Munich. really cool. i guess it's like the others said, be patient, be a friend...etc. this is a good site. i wish i could visit more often but too busy most of the time.

Love,
Tammy