Violence/ Aggression

[Crissy Kay]

Hi Guys. This is my first post on this side of the forums. My question is open to all. Do you, [FtMs] in presenting as men, find yourselves acting, and thinking much more aggressively, then you did before? As a male, I have violent fantasies. Playing FPS games helps me some. Thats part of the reason I brought "Crissy" to life. She helps me put a damper on my temper,etc. If you guys think I"m way off base feel free to tell me.

[Cai]

Actually, I think I'm calmer as a guy. I'm more confident, so I don't feel the need to cover up my fear with aggression. Plus I stop getting so upset with myself over every little thing I do or say. When I'm frustrated with myself, I get angry with others easier. Letting the guy out means I don't have to be so upset internally.

[ZenFrost]

I think I'm more violent as a woman than as a man. When I'm in girl mode, it's as though my agression doesn't have anywhere to go and builds up but when I'm in boy mode it just kinda fades away. It's also easier to remove myself from my emotions as a guy so I tend to be more level-headed. However, I'm a really level-headed person anyway (calm, cool, and collected describes me really accurately) so it's not like a huge difference either way.

[xsideburnsx]

I think I'm an angry person in general, but a lot more mouthy as a male. I'm just super aggressive like that haha.:devil:

[CaptLex]

Hmmm . . . that's kind of a tough question for me, Crissy. I'm not a violent person and I don't think I'm more aggressive as male, but I know I have a lot less patience now and get angry faster than I used to. Could be 'cause I have to deal with frustrating non-passing issues on a daily basis, could be the testosterone or it could be that my mind is in a different place now. I feel like my life was on hold for a very long time and I don't want to waste any more time putting up with obstacles to my transition. Or maybe my previous passive nature was just an act I had to put on in order to play the female role. Not a good answer to your question, I know, but now you've made me think. :hmmm:

[bi_weird]

I'm more aggressive, but not in a violent-I-want-to-hurt-you way. I'm more mouthy, more willing to yell, and more physically competative when I'm in boy mode than girl mode. That's actually what made me really start exploring this - normal girls don't have this need for rough-housing and kicking someone's tail at basketball, and I'm competative like that so I do. I'm really not an angry person (I have a hard time being angry for myself basically always) though so it's never led to violence.

[happyfish]

I'm not sure how to answer this question. I don't know if there's a clear defining line between me-as-guy and me-as-girl, even in terms of how I've progressed as I've become more aware of my status as a transperson, so I can't really say. I know I feel more violent/aggressive if I feel trapped as a girl in people's expectations or something, usually just based on sheer frustration. Though usually as a rule I'm pretty passive.

[Evert]

I'm more aggressive, but not in a violent-I-want-to-hurt-you way. I'm more mouthy, more willing to yell, and more physically competative when I'm in boy mode than girl mode.

Yeah that. :D

And when in boy mode I tend to fight/argue/threat much quicker. Like a month, two months ago. A guy was trying to kiss a friend of mine, and she obvious didn't like it. But she is in a wheelchair so she couldn't just 'run away'. In girl mode I just would have walked near her, casually talked with her so the guy would walk away. That night I was more in boy mode so I yelled (and I surprised myself ) "Just **** off or I'll make sure those lips will never be able to kiss again".

That worked. :tongueout

[Kate Simmons]

Well, you said the question is open to all Crissy. I have to say my femme side is the more aggressive one, my guy side is the more rational. Guess I'm the opposite of most guys which is why I have to keep both sides balanced. Too far one way or the other and I get into trouble.:happy:

[John]

I'm not violent or agracive by nature, in fact the worst I get is play-fighting with my brother (what can I say? we're verry imature).

However, I find now that I've exepted the male side of me, I'm a lot less defensive and a lot carmer; I don't feel like I've got to compensate for something I don't understand.

As most people have said, understanding and embracing how you're supost to be relives a lot of fraustration that may otherwise come out as violence.

[Felix]

Hi Crissy and welcome :hugs: As for me I've always been more confident since I was a child playing what society defines mainly as boy things. I have always enjoyed rough and tumble kinda games probably why I enjoy judo so much. I always did boy stuff with my dad, like pulling down half the kitchen when I was a kid with him. My mum hated that said he treated me like a son not a daughter. I always wanted to play with the boys, football and such like. I don't like violence hate it in fact. I always let my frustrations out on the judo mat but that was controlled aggression so ok. I have noticed that since I have been dressing fully I am more confident but sometimes I do feel like more aggressive but not violent. I think I get these feeling out of frustration more than anything else. I don't know whether it's aggressive or assertive either I think there is a fine line. I'm definitely more forward and say what I think more in situations which I wouldn't of before so I think that's being assertive not aggressive. So maybe I'm not really aggressive but assertive. I was never aggressive as a woman except at judo lol ya have to be then otherwise ya won't win. Hope this has helped xx Felix :hugs:

[Dasein9]

I don't know. I've been living in New York while coming out, and so I have no idea how much of my assertiveness is the coming out and how much is the city. I am more self-assured and confident, and I will now yell at drivers of cars that don't pay attention to my having the walk signal, but I don't know what deserves the credit for that.

[CaptLex]

I will now yell at drivers of cars that don't pay attention to my having the walk signal.
*imagines Das doing the Ratso Rizzo scene from Midnight Cowboy . . . "Hey, I'm walkin' here!"* :heehee:

[Crissy Kay]

Thank you Felix. I find all the comments very interesting. I think being able to show part or all of our true selves, so to speak, acts as a great stress releaver. Thanks for all the comments. Pammy

[TV Wannabe]

Geneticlly violence and aggression are genderless, but I believe society imposes the softer, calmer persona on women.