To be ridicule is my dilemma

[Ericka2]

My girlfriend and i been talking about our ventures while crosdressing, and she's been trying to prepare me for the worst case scenario, for instance, what about if i'm out walking around a park and some jerk might say something very offensive about my persona, she seem to think that i should be ready and not allowed my self to be put down, and the reason she thinks that, is because i'm a very sensitive person, i guess i need to overcome some obstacles, what do you girls do? or better yet, have this happened to you? and how or what can help me overcome such an incident?

[Kate Simmons]

For myself, it is the difference in being sensitive to having sensibility. I'm probably not the best one for this kind of advice because I tend to throw it back at them in some way in these situations. To put it succinctly, if someone is really determined to make an ass of themself, I do everything in my power to make sure they get their wish.:happy:

[MJ]

i have many times just keep walking and don't say anything .... you don't want to add fuel to the fire

[trannie T]

Do not give your tormentor any positive feedback, walk away. You will be fine if you stay away from drunks and teen age girls.

[Dixie]

I usaully will respond with a wisecrack, but am always ready to back myself up if it gets physical. It hasn't yet thank heavens but I guess the potential is always there. I had a guy who had seen my Halloween pictures in another bar buy me a drink in the bar I was at where my lesbian friend "H" was tending bar, he said to her " I'm buying his drink,...I've never bought a transsexual a drink before!" in a very load voice for others to hear. "H" says back to him just as load "and honey you still haven't!!" I think it is great to have this kind of support from my friends.:drink:

[kerrianna]

For myself, it is the difference in being sensitive to having sensibility. I'm probably not the best one for this kind of advice because I tend to throw it back at them in some way in these situations. To put it succinctly, if someone is really determined to make an ass of themself, I do everything in my power to make sure they get their wish.:happy:

Please note that Salandra is a part-time Klingon girl, and unless you relish cracking heads together you might want to be more discreet. :heehee:

People only hurt you as much as you allow them. Just look at successful musicians, etc and see the abuse they get sometimes. You can't stop people from being jerks, but you can decide whether you even want to give them a moment's notice.

But you do need to know how to avoid confrontations if you can. The best thing is to try to see trouble coming and steer clear. If it has arrived sometimes you can talk your way out just by being honest and giving them more respect than they deserve. Remember...it's not about them - it's about you and your safety and enjoyment of life.

Unless you are Klingon. Then it's about conflict and relishing that. :rolleyes:

[Kate Simmons]

Although it's not quite as much fun, Kerrianna is right and discretion is the better part of valor as is reading the situation and knowing your surroundings. The successful warrior also knows when to retreat at the right time and will sometimes have a more successful "victory" that way by refusing to dignify the "enemy". Whatever you choose to do my friend, Qapla':happy:

[Michelle (Oz)]

I have been fortunate to be out en femme many times over the last 10 months. I give some thought to where I go to avoid obvious trouble. The ONLY time I have had any problem was a drunk middle aged male who made a loud statement that many could hear but many would also wonder if he was talking about them. Why react when he made an ass of himself? Most likely, no one knows who was was talkking about and if they did no one joined in.

I kept walking and that was the end of that.

I feel comfortable about myself and just brush the comments aside. Admittedly, if it was my first outing I'd have been totally spooked but then I wouldn't have gone to a casino in the first place. Understand what you are and don't worry if you are picked.

Enjoy the outing.

Michelle (Oz)

[Paulacder]

One on One, it will rairley happen, and if it does I have found that turning the tables on them works every time. If something is said just smile and say something pleasant back, then try to continue the conversation, always smileing. You notice I said One on One. All of my negitave encounters have ben with groups of guys meaning two or more, seems that they get more courage or that they try to impress each other, or trying to boost their manlyness by makeing a snide remark. In this case I would advise not to say anything and go on your merry way.....

[Joy Carter]

Although it's not quite as much fun, Kerrianna is right and discretion is the better part of valor as is reading the situation and knowing your surroundings. The successful warrior also knows when to retreat at the right time and will sometimes have a more successful "victory" that way by refusing to dignify the "enemy". Whatever you choose to do my friend, Qapla':happy:

Well said Salandra ! :iagree:

[lynn27]

Do not give your tormentor any positive feedback, walk away. You will be fine if you stay away from drunks and teen age girls.This is you best advise, never confront a stranger while in "girl-mode". You'll surely draw a crowd, and a nasty mob mentality could take over andyou probably would be on the right side of it...

It would be wise to practice a few one-liners before you head out. Humor can be very diarming. :heehee: Think thru different situations and think about what you'd need to do. Discuss what your SO would say or do?

Young girls are the worst, avoid where they gather...:hugs:

[Stephenie S]

There are a**holes everywhere in life. You probably already know what to do about this. CDing is not really at issue here. Jerks are. Stupid, rude, people can make stupid, rude remarks about you no matter how you are dressed. What do you do then? Just move on and leave them alone. You can ignore them or leave.

I was once returning home in my truck from picking up a tractor. I was dressed completely in work clothes, and I stopped for a bite to eat at the only reasturant available. It was a bit posh, and as the host seated me he made a loud remark about my shirt and suspenders (braces for you Brits) looking too much like a farmer's underwear. I could have just left, but I was hungry so I just ignored him and sat down. I got my food. He got to look at me the whole meal.

Give jerks all the respect they deserve. Nothing! Ignore them or go somewhere else. Violence is rarely the answer, but it's also rarely needed, thank goodness.

Stephenie

[Marla S]

I'd try to avoid any confrontation, hold breath and go my way (or an other, if more secure). Like Salandra wisely said "The successful warrior also knows when to retreat".

A different question is what to do with the "wounded soul".
If you are not completaly sure what you are doing, (I think we all have our less self-secure days) it will hurt in a way.
Probably the best is to do it like a NASCAR driver after a crash.
Jumping into a new car as soon as possible.

[Karren H]

I've never had an instance like that and although I'd like to go over and beat the living snot out of someone like that, I would also just walk away... Don't need that agrivation and I wouldn't want to ruin my clothes!! Lol

Now if he follows me then all bets are off!! And if I can get to the hockey stick I keep in my truck!!!! Tweet... Two minutes for illegal slapshot to the groin area!! It would be worth it for sure!! Hehehe. That will teach him to pick on a girl..... :D


Love Karren

[LindaTS]

I'm fortunate in that nothing like that has ever happened to me. All of my time out is during the days shopping so I'm usually in a grocery store or one of the stores in a mall. I think if anything like that ever did happen I'd probably try to leave ASAP to avoid any further conflict.

[Ericka2]

I'm very glad i got friends like you all, not sure how i been livin on without you.


Love Ericka

[Seville]

While shopping for shoes in DRAB in Ponce PR,
a middle age jerk tried to embaress me
with comments directed to both me and the cashiers. :thumbsdn:

When I had enough, in my best Puerto Rican accent, I said loudly:

"Are 'Jew talkin' to me?" and made a gesture across my throat.

He retreated.

[Victoria Anne]

I perhaps am not the best to lend advice here but that said I do believe it would be best to just walk away perhaps with a humorous remark, as was already said humor is disarming. If you are like me and it sounds as though you are , so long as nothing is said about my wife I will walk, say something to her and a world of hurt is about to open up.

[TxKimberly]

. . . never had a bad experience - I have been treated decently by all, including some that I was quite sure had made me.

Kim