Just told my wife.

[Stephanie Clarke]

I just told my wife of 7 years that I love to dress up. I know that I am a guy but there is a female side to me that tries to assert herself. The more I try to ignore her the louder she squeals and I find the need to wear panties. I was never caught by my wife but did come close. She says that she can accept it so I will wait and see. I dont know if I just want acceptance or if I want her to actually become involved in it ..
Any ideas anyone?

[suzy]

Congratulations! It is another first step in the right direction. Only you know for sure how much involvement you want from your wife. In my case, I wanted both acceptance and participation by my wife and have been fortunate enough to receive both. I think a lot depends on if your wife believes that you were deceiving her.... I came out to my wife from the beginning and we have grown together.:D Honesty is *usually* (a disclaimer there) the best way to go!:D

[Shelly Preston]

I suggest you dont try to rush anything

At the same time you need to keep talking and be ready with answers when she asks questions
You can also reccommend she comes here to learn more I am sure the other women here would be only to glad to help her

Good luck and remember communication is the key

[Sandra]

Don't push her let things sink in and be prepared for a lot of questions, take it step by step if she wants to get involved then I am sure she will do.

[Mitch23]

Congratulations - so many of have been there and we know what a vulnerable place you have come to - so well done. So she hasn't left you and she still loves you. I know from experience that she will have a long way to go and she will have many questions and doubts along the way.

You may never get beyond acceptance - only you can decide whether you can cope with that. In time you may get participation - or you may not. Just dont try and push her beyond where can go right now and be prepared to answer her questions when she is ready

mitch

[Sheri 4242]

Congratulations! It is another first step in the right direction. Only you know for sure how much involvement you want from your wife. In my case, I wanted both acceptance and participation by my wife and have been fortunate enough to receive both.

I second what Suzy said, from congrats on!!!

In my case I strongly desired the active acceptance and participation of a SO!!!!!!! I've been blessed to have found a wife who does and will, respectively!!! To me, it was, in an almost all-consuming manner, to be able to really be me with my wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[az_azeel]

Hi Stef, well done on telling your wife and I hope everything goes well... To me it looks like you want acceptance or you would not have told her.. all I can advise is what the others have said and take it slowly and talk to her...you never know she may surprise you by participating..

Take Care :hugs:

[Karren H]

Like others have stated.. Take it slow, at her pace not yours.. And be aware that her attitude towards crossdressing can snap back 180 degress the otherway so fast it will knock you stocking off... Good luck..

Love Karren

[Sheila]

slowly slowly, and as gently as you can. Well done on telling her:hugs:

[Kerry Owens]

You both have started now a journey, together; keep it even and one step at a time together. Try to push her too fast, or crowd her and yes, she'll get scared. Take a deep breath and the first step is done now. Get her to the forums where after 10 posts, she can join the GG forum.
Honest, it will help her. Knowing you are not alone would help anyone in a confusing situation that they had no real preparation for. Good luck.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

I'm with Suzy. Honesty is best overall.:2c:


Congratulations! It is another first step in the right direction. Only you know for sure how much involvement you want from your wife. In my case, I wanted both acceptance and participation by my wife and have been fortunate enough to receive both. I think a lot depends on if your wife believes that you were deceiving her.... I came out to my wife from the beginning and we have grown together.:D Honesty is *usually* (a disclaimer there) the best way to go!:D

[O2B Barbara]

Honest & slow seems to work best along with a lot of compassion.

[Ruth]

"I don't know if I just want acceptance"... girl, if you just get that you are doing better than most. I honestly don't know what you mean by involvement, but just work on acceptance till you can see that it's working out.
I should add that my wife accepts my CDing so I know how good that feels.

[spaceycasey GG]

Good for you! Honesty is always the best policy. I have always been very accepting and fond of Diane, my CD mate. Take it slow. When I first met Diane I was excited and intimidated. Sometimes she still makes me nervous, but she is very lovely, considerate, and sensitive. Diane brings out some of the best of me. I wish you all the best.:hugs:

[RobertaFermina]

Now you've done it, you've been open and honest with your wife!
It took you seven years....how long will you be patient for her to be honest with you. And then how much longer does she get to be accepted for her level of participation in your CD?

However long it takes, I wish you a good life and the best of it!

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Stephanie Clarke]

Now you've done it, you've been open and honest with your wife!
It took you seven years....how long will you be patient for her to be honest with you. And then how much longer does she get to be accepted for her level of participation in your CD?

However long it takes, I wish you a good life and the best of it!

:rose: Roberta :rose:

however long it takes I guess...

[Denielleinheels]

I secon every one above. Congrats!!!!!!!
Now leave it alone and wait for her to ask.

[marie354]

Slow and steady as she goes... That's the way you need to be.
I told my SO on the third date, but she wasn't ready for all of at that time.
6-1/2 months ago, she decided that I could dress freely, which I have.
It took 6 years for her to think about it and allow me to be me. That doesn't that it will take you that long though. Some are accepted right away while others, like myself, it takes a bit longer.
I've even discussed coming out with my SO and she will support me if I decide to do that. I was thinking about doing just that today in honor of World TG Day, but I'm still unsure. The day's not over yet, so who knows.

I am happy that you've made that first important step towards acceptance. It just gets better from here on out. At least it has for me.
:hugs:

[samcs]

Take it slow. You do not want to lose her support.

[Lovely Rita]

I think this calls for real sensitivity to your wife. Acceptance is a great step in the right direction. She feels what she feels so if I could give you my two cents. Be patient with her and above all loving.

[Alice B]

I think everyone has already said it. Just take it slow, assure her that you do not want to become a woman, that you are not gay and that you love her. Give her time to adjust and keep the lines of communication open. Let her ask questions, do not be defensive and answer her honestly. The fact that she accepts your supprise anouncement indicates that she may have already suspected. Our wifes are far more aware that we give them credit for.:love:

[ARI]

Go slow, be gentle, be supportive like you want her to be with you.

[suzanne]

It's great that you are able to come out to your SO, and that she shows signs of acceptance. It really bodes well for your future happiness together. Keep it up!

I was impressed by the description you gave of your feelings, where you said, "The more I try to ignore her the louder she squeals and I find the need to wear panties." I know that feeling so well! I sincerely hope you were able to say those same words to your SO, because they speak volumes about the power of your urges. Sometimes, even the best intentioned wives miss the message of just how deep-seated is the femininity of their man, but your wording makes the point unmistakable.

Again, congratulations and continued success!

[Elaine Lynn]

Congrats. take things slow . Read Karrens post she is right one the money with what she said. I came out to my wife right after we were married 30 years ago and I learned over the years be nice go slow and don't push her into anything because when my wife gets mad the first thing she goes for is what I like to do crossdress and stops me from doing anything. Good Luck.

[unclejoann]

she might accept it without seeing it, might even be really supportive

but remember, seeing is believing, and until she sees you dressed up it is only theoretical.

be careful. 3 wives have taught me that none like it, though some "sort of" support it

the supportive wives you read about on this forum are rare.

be careful