Why are we hetero CDs always mistaken for gays, bis or transexuals?

[espaniola]

I'll tell you my opinion about this first, and then I expect to receive opinions from you all.

My opinion is, society wrongly equals someone being feminine to someone wanting to be taken sexually, as a woman. Society considers it is impossible for a "feminine" male, to act and function both socially and sexually as a male. They always associate wanting to be beautiful and sexy, especially by wearing "prohibited" women's clothing, to liking men, as well as wanting to act and feel like a woman all the time (much less of a "real" man, but "acting" as a man for social convenience, for power and position).

And I say this by experience, because I've had a couple of girlfriends in the past that thought this way even though they clearly experienced my maleness, by having sex with me when we both were super-sexily dressed in lingerie. They always thought I liked men and I was a bisexual but didn't want to admit it, for fear of being discriminated against by society.

What do you people think?

[TV Wannabe]

Progressive Liberalism will prevail, in 20 or 30 years everything on this website will be socially acceptable, at least I hope so anyway.

[DeeInGeorgia]

Its not a crossdresser thing, it is a feminine male thing, and it is picked up at an early age, sometimes, before puberty.

Dee

[Mitch23]

Dunno - my wife still has this thing about crossdressing and gayness. i think in the past there has been the tendency to hang around in the gay scene because they are accepting of alternative lifestyles.

mitch

[Tree GG]

What do you people think?

You asked :D

Your description of what it means to be sexually attracted to men would hold true for hetero females or gay men or bi persons.

90% (estimate) of population want the Readers Digest version. How many people do you encounter in a given day who ask, "How are you?" and proceed without waiting for a reply? These same 90% believe women and men are seperate and distinct and the accepted norm is to advertise your masculinity or feminity by certain clothing, interests, and body languages.

So at 1st glance, CD's are men, exhibiting the characteristics of females, who usually like men sexually, so why wouldn't they assume a CD also likes men? Fits in with the norms they know and requires very little time, energy or thought to clarify. And who cares? I don't really want to know the sexual preferences of 99.9% of the population.

So I guess your confusion and lack of understanding why confuses me. :2c:

[sparks]

I general I think people like labels and categories. Right wrong, black or white. When we blur the lines they can't put it together. Sometimes it's just how the brain works.
Johnny wears a bra therefore he must be gay. Much easier to assume then to get to know the circumstances and person or people. Especially when you get into areas such "I'm bi when I dress in sexy lingerie."

My wife thinks I flutter about in dress. She can't just assume that I go on with everyday life. That I paint, read, watch TV and do house chores. I'm must acting steriotypically.

Yep put the labels on the correct jars and boxes and file them accordingly.

[Karren H]

Well like it or not, to John and Jane Q Public men typically like women and visa versa... So by defalt if you want to dress like a woman you must like men.. Very simplistic theroem but so is the general public..

Guess you need to wear a bumper sticker "I'm not gay... I'm just really happy, ohhh and pretty too..". Hehehe

Who cares what other people think..


Love Karren

[Kate Simmons]

Well, all I know is that men can be pretty AND still use a urinal. I defy them to find a "box" for that one.:heehee:

[MsJanessa]

What do you mean "We hetero CDs"? Speak for yourself darling---many of us are bi or gay---Including Me.

[RobertaFermina]

First of all, sometimes such foolish statements are correct. Sometimes you can hit a golf ball with a baseball bat and get a hole-in-one. It is both Lucky and Stupid!

I believe folks reach for the Gay thing through ignorance.
The first prejudice is that "Gays are Sissy-Boys."
That is flat stupid, cause there is no balance in that. If everyone Gay is a sissy-boy (or girl) then who will play the "manly-man" to give a relationship balance? I guess Gay men must laugh or cry that one off plenty!

Now, confronted with someone who wants to dress like a woman....or Girl...Well, they must be sissy-boy's too!
That's the Second Ignorance/Prejudice...There are some ladies here who are definitely NOT Sissy-girls, or Sissy-Boys!

Now, take ignorance one, and ignorance two and you get stupid deduction three.

If Gays are Sissy-Boys/Girls, and CrossDressers are Sissy-Boys/Girls, then Crossdressers are Gay !

This is a truly pathetic Reductio Ad Absurdum !
The problem is, in this case, the logical assertion is not the only absurdity. The Reasoner (sic) has identified themselves as Ignorant (at best), Apathetic(soso), since all these prejudices can be cleared up by readily available information, and insane at worst.

Armed with this disinformation, and the foolishness to take vigorous/life-changing action based upon it, one can be harmful to ones' self and to others. When that is true, they bind you up in funny coats and watch you for 72 hours, don't they?

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[yingyang]

By wearing women's clothing, makeup, and having this "goal" of "passing as women", it is easy to think that crossdressers also want to be "attractive". Where the assumption of gayness comes from is that the reason for most women to be attractive is to attract men, right?
Careful what you wish for.
Mary

[MarinaTwelve200]

Pure ignorance---I remembered in school being told by classmates that a "Gay" or "Homo" is "a guy who thinks hes a girl"---"or wants to be a girl"

of corse a GAY and a Crossdresser were the SAME thing.

Many people grow up NEVER checking out their sexual info from a reputable source---like a BOOK.

By adulthood, Most people know that gays are attracted to other men and have sex with them, but THAt is "something else they ALSO do" rather than the primary determinant (which it is). As far as they are concerned a Gay is basically the same thing they learned in grade school.

You can tell by their questions what they really think. To them gays , crossdressers and transexuals are the same thing.

Personally, I cant see how a person could cultivate his own ignorance and never check it out. Even as a kid, when I had a sexual question, I always went to the library or encyclopedia and checked it out (It saved me a lot of needless concern)---I never trusted my equally ignorant classmates for info. There are adults that never have done this---appaling! but sadly true.

[Toyah]

I think you only have to look at some of the posts here that state you must like men because you are a CD to see how ingrained the Gay Bi prejudice about us is and then hey you just throw that one in I may be Bi.
I really dont see any difference between Bi or Gay both want men I dont. Its quite simple to be a hetro guy and be a CD being Bi is a cop out if you are Gay fine admit it and get on with your life

[brenya]

What do you mean "We hetero CDs"? Speak for yourself darling---many of us are bi or gay---Including Me.
High five!

yeah I believe by gender issues have at least some small thing to do with my sexuality, can't really speak for anyone else though everybody is different, but really I don't even like to label myself as bi, I am just attracted to who I'm attracted to

being Bi is a cop out? I'm just going to ignore that, I'm too new to start drama

[Khriss]

First of all, sometimes such foolish statements are correct. Sometimes you can hit a golf ball with a baseball bat and get a hole-in-one. It is both Lucky and Stupid!

I believe folks reach for the Gay thing through ignorance.
The first prejudice is that "Gays are Sissy-Boys."
That is flat stupid, cause there is no balance in that. If everyone Gay is a sissy-boy (or girl) then who will play the "manly-man" to give a relationship balance? I guess Gay men must laugh or cry that one off plenty!

Now, confronted with someone who wants to dress like a woman....or Girl...Well, they must be sissy-boy's too!
That's the Second Ignorance/Prejudice...There are some ladies here who are definitely NOT Sissy-girls, or Sissy-Boys!

Now, take ignorance one, and ignorance two and you get stupid deduction three.

If Gays are Sissy-Boys/Girls, and CrossDressers are Sissy-Boys/Girls, then Crossdressers are Gay !

This is a truly pathetic Reductio Ad Absurdum !
The problem is, in this case, the logical assertion is not the only absurdity. The Reasoner (sic) has identified themselves as Ignorant (at best), Apathetic(soso), since all these prejudices can be cleared up by readily available information, and insane at worst.

Armed with this disinformation, and the foolishness to take vigorous/life-changing action based upon it, one can be harmful to ones' self and to others. When that is true, they bind you up in funny coats and watch you for 72 hours, don't they?

:rose: Roberta :rose:

Dang Roberta !!
Thats the most ...straight up .. Intelligent reply ... I may have ever seen here ( 'Ceptfor some of mine... while I to often get sarcastic)....
THANK YOU !!
freakinamazinghowintellectrearsit'sglowinghead.I'm Greatfull!!
"K"

[trannie T]

There are no crossdressing "poster children." Most people do not know anyone who is out as a crossdresser, so their opinions are based on a lack of information. If we wish to end some of these prejudices we should all come out of the closet and tell everyone we know what it is like for us as crossdressers. I'll be waiting over here.

[NatalieBliss]

There are no crossdressing "poster children." Most people do not know anyone who is out as a crossdresser, so their opinions are based on a lack of information. If we wish to end some of these prejudices we should all come out of the closet and tell everyone we know what it is like for us as crossdressers. I'll be waiting over here.

:iagree: the revolution will be televised! million tranny march!

well so I went a bit silly but I do agree. though I fear my bark is worse than my bite on this one currently. :(

[Sasha IN]

My short answer is that most people just like stereotypes because it obviates their need to think. They can just categorize and move on. Confusion can be scary so if they can just drop you into a familiar box they can feel better about themselves. They aren't challenged to think for themselves and really find out who you are.

Sasha

[Dixie]

Because some of us are, and that's all that people "want" to see. They are not comfortable with the fact that you can be hetro and still dress, it's way too challenging for their wee little minds to grasp. That's how they can justify it, "oh well there're gay that's why they do it."
Alot easier than to say "hey it doesn't matter anyone can do it, in fact most women have been doing it for years." encrouches to much on their comfort level.:devil:

[Melinda G]

I can only speak for myself, but I do not dress to attract men. I do it to entertain myself, and because it turns me on. When I was married, I would ask my wife to put on some heels and nylons, maybe once or twice a year. Not very often, for sure. But I always got the standard reply. "Why does it always have to be a big deal? Can't we just get in bed and "do it"? Can you say "BORING". I knew you could.
So if I wanted to see nice legs, nylons, high heels, and short dresses, it became sort of a do-it-yourself project. :D

[Dixie]

"Yeah, baby!":p

[Sheila]

okay,
many of us GG's have actually (before we discovered your cding) have stumbled across gay sites/chatrooms that you have visited on the net .. and I am one of those.
Secondly so many have lied even when first questioned about those sites and other things before you first came out to us ..... if you have lied about that what else have you lied about ???.
3rdly so many continue to visit the same/similar sites. Then there are the lengths so many will go to to hide their online activity ........ it sure as heck don't gve us room to believe what we hear from you, and so if your partners are having trouble believing what they hear, why should mr/mrs average believe any different.

Then there are the many threads of the type " .....do you dream of being with a man when dressed", ....HELLO and you wonder why society in general equate cding with bi/gay tendancies.

Those are just my thoughts and questions, just my 0.02

[sparks]

okay,
many of us GG's have actually (before we discovered your cding) have stumbled across gay sites/chatrooms that you have visited on the net .. and I am one of those.
Secondly so many have lied even when first questioned about those sites and other things before you first came out to us ..... if you have lied about that what else have you lied about ???.
3rdly so many continue to visit the same/similar sites. Then there are the lengths so many will go to to hide their online activity ........ it sure as heck don't gve us room to believe what we hear from you, and so if your partners are having trouble believing what they hear, why should mr/mrs average believe any different.

Then there are the many threads of the type " .....do you dream of being with a man when dressed", ....HELLO and you wonder why society in general equate cding with bi/gay tendancies.

Those are just my thoughts and questions, just my 0.02

Beautiful! And so nicely put:D

[Sallee]

Looks like a duck, acts like a duck, sounds like a duck. What do you expect. It is the depression a guy feels when he sees a really nice lookng woman and then finds out she is a lesbian, But if she was dressed real butch you might assume she was a lesbian.
There are the other reasons also. Many gays hang around the same bars and clubs we hang at or is it the other way around.
I have gotten to the point I don't assume anything about anyones sexuality unless the tell me specifically they are attracted to him or her and even then who says it won't change given the proper chemistry..

[TxKimberly]

Because John Doe, Mr average person, does not realise there is a huge difference between gender and sex.
I could add some to that but I think it says it all.

Kim

[Alice Torn]

I am a leg man, and dress mostly to see a great pair of long legs, in hose, and heels. I would like a future wife, to dress up, too, but, no success, yet. Jeans are the almost always worn gg item.

[AmberTG]

Just a note here about the term "gay" and the term "bi". The term "gay" means that you are only attracted to members of the same physical sex. The term "bi" means that you are attracted to members of the same physical sex and also members of the opposite physical sex. So, to say that the term "bi" is not a valid term just shows a lack of knowlege, an ignorance of the subject matter. My question would be "Why do people make statements about things that they know nothing about?"

[brenya]

Just a note here about the term "gay" and the term "bi". The term "gay" means that you are only attracted to members of the same physical sex. The term "bi" means that you are attracted to members of the same physical sex and also members of the opposite physical sex. So, to say that the term "bi" is not a valid term just shows a lack of knowlege, an ignorance of the subject matter. My question would be "Why do people make statements about things that they know nothing about?"
very well put, rite on! :thumbsup:

[Sheri 4242]

My short answer would be to paraphrase a book I read a few years ago: "Heterosexual crossdressers bother almost everyone . . . (b/c in no small part) there is a congruence of sexual orientation."

To take this a step further, to M/M John Q Pulic, "gay crossdressing" would make sense. Ironically, it doen't make sense to the heterosexual crossdresser, and it makes no sense to many (most) gay men.

[Josephine 1941]

Hi, I as always like to post , is your soul male or female. I had an interesting meeting with one of my male poker playing friends yesterday. He duz not know I cross dress, we were in a post office as he had a lot of packages to send out, I had some buz there to, well we were talking an the postal clerk was chimeing in when he said that the next postal clerk was kind of shy when THE BOYS talk about women. My friend comes out with why do women like all these gay good looking guys they get these beutiful women . I kind of looked at him an the clerk an said that is why I have my ears pirced an wear ear rings , I have a small diamond in my right ear an small loop in my left. He looked at me an said you are not gay are you, I said not right now an you are to ugly not my type. The clerk laught, I am getting more an more brave when people put any type an am starting to stand up an be counted, Good luck all .

Josephine

[Robin Leigh]

And I say this by experience, because I've had a couple of girlfriends in the past that thought this way even though they clearly experienced my maleness, by having sex with me when we both were super-sexily dressed in lingerie. They always thought I liked men and I was a bisexual but didn't want to admit it, for fear of being discriminated by society.

When I was young & uninformed, I assumed I must be bi because I was attracted to women but I also liked dressing up. I was very shy around GGs (and still am, a bit) and my first sexual encounters were with other males, but I was never en femme (except in my imagination). It was fun, but it never really satisfied my true desires. When I finally did experience sex with a woman it was like a whole different universe. :happy: And when I met a bi girl who liked to play with me dressed up, I thought I was in heaven! :D

I'm glad I explored my sexuality in my younger days. When en femme, alone, I sometimes fantasize about being with a man, but I know it's a fantasy & I'm not really interested in the reality.

I generally tell my girlfriends about my bi history before I tell them about my CDing. And generally, the bi thing is easier for them to understand & accept at first than the CDing.

Robin

[MsJanessa]

I think you only have to look at some of the posts here that state you must like men because you are a CD to see how ingrained the Gay Bi prejudice about us is and then hey you just throw that one in I may be Bi.
I really dont see any difference between Bi or Gay both want men I dont. Its quite simple to be a hetro guy and be a CD being Bi is a cop out if you are Gay fine admit it and get on with your life

There are people who don't like to limit their sexual activities to just one gender Toyah---no "cop out" We just like to go both ways---after all why not? Are you really suggesting that a person has to either like men or women but can't like both?

[O2B Barbara]

I am amazed at the amount of thought and information that has been presented here. Thanks to all for the education! There are so few people that I have met that really have thought about this subject, from any aspect of it and so only express the "canned" opinion of the majority of non-thinkers. I take every opportunity to promote acceptance by saying things like I wear a dress on occcasion or I wear my wifes underwear. Usually gets a laugh but does open doors to thought. Even Tom Hanks mentioned he was wearing his dates panties in the movie Dragnet, got a laugh, but who knows what Tom Hanks wears in private? Actor Rober Vaughn (Man From U.N.C.L.E. televsion show) (shows my age!) was the the male stereotype in all ways yet in many movies he is shown in a corset and lots of lace. What is his secret? Was he trying to show that this is an acceptable behavior?

I ramble, sorry. Someday things will change and we can be as we wish.

[stacie]

Some of us here are TS, But most people have other thoughts of what we are because of the lack of educating the public on being transgender. Most CD's never leave the safty of their house, Because of the fears of getting caught. Untill the public understands us we will always be put under catergories were not.

[marie354]

I think that they class so many as "gay" is that is something that they can understand. They can't understand any of the other aspects, it just confuses them, so they just think what they know.
It's sad, really, There aren't any two people alike in this world, and some just like to classify us in that general category to make it easier for them.
I wish that they would just get with the program and get up to date.
:hugs:

[Angie G]

Ignorants is the reason some thinklike that but they wont do the homework
and find the truth of the matter :hugs:
Angie

[CaptLex]

Even we in this community are often confused and don't always get it, so it shouldn't surprise us that the general public is not well-informed. We get so many threads here that ask, "Am I gay?" Fortunately, we're here to help each other figure this stuff out, but unless and until we're able to educate the public at large, there will always be misinformation out there.

[Vicky_Scot]

It also does not help that society tags us onto the end of the gay scene as they do not know where to put us.

[Sharon]

It's my experience that most people confuse transsexuals for crossdressers, but it doesn't really matter to me what people think, other than those who know me.

[ToyGirl]

Guess you need to wear a bumper sticker "I'm not gay... I'm just really happy, ohhh and pretty too..". Hehehe
Love Karren

i love it


They always thought I liked men and I was a bisexual but didn't want to admit it, for fear of being discriminated by society.

What do you people think?

Because a guy wearing super-sexy lingerie is less likely to be discriminated against than a non hetero individual?

Your logic troubles me.

[espaniola]

What do you mean "We hetero CDs"? Speak for yourself darling---many of us are bi or gay---Including Me.

My comment never intended to be interpreted as if I were speaking for all people in the forum. Obviously, I'm speaking on behalf of ALL HETERO CDS in the Forum, including myself, although of course, my posting is open to comments from everybody, like yourself. I hope this clears up this apparent misunderstanding.

[espaniola]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Karren Hutton View Post
Guess you need to wear a bumper sticker "I'm not gay... I'm just really happy, ohhh and pretty too..". Hehehe
Love Karren
i love it

Quote:
Originally Posted by espaniola View Post
They always thought I liked men and I was a bisexual but didn't want to admit it, for fear of being discriminated by society.

What do you people think?
Because a guy wearing super-sexy lingerie is less likely to be discriminated against than a non hetero individual?

Your logic troubles me.

Sorry I got you confused. Yes, IN MY PARTICULAR CASE, of course a hetero guy wearing super-sexy lingerie IN PRIVATE with his girlfriend is MUCH less likely to be discriminated against than a bi or gay guy who is openly gay or bi, because the latter will OBVIOUSLY be known for dating guys, or going to gay bars, or having a SO of the same sex.

Even if the gay or bi is in the closet, there are sooo many clues to immediately finding out his sexual orientation, like having gay magazines as opposed to having girly magazines, or staring at guys in the street or at the mall, rather than staring at girls.

Also, as far as I know, gays and bis have very different mannerisms than straight guys (including CDs): gays and bis are more emotional and effeminate when they interact with others (specially other guys), and hetero CDs are as rude and "unemotional" as the guy next door, even though they (we) enjoy immensely wearing sexy women's clothing, and feeling "feminine" (sexy) by ourselves or with a girl companion.

But this is just my opinion, based on my particular experience. My point here is: I DON'T LIKE TO BE MISTAKEN FOR A GAY OR BI, BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER BEEN ATTRACTED TO MEN SEXUALLY, and when you crossdress, the immediate inference is: He's gay! He's bisexual!

[CaptLex]

Also, as far as I know, gays and bis have very different mannerisms than straight guys (including CDs): gays and bis are more emotional and effeminate when they interact with others (specially other guys), and hetero CDs are as rude and "unemotional" as the guy next door, even though they (we) enjoy immensely wearing sexy women's clothing, and feeling "feminine" (sexy) by ourselves or with a girl companion.
Not necessarily true of ALL gays, bis and hetero CDs. Not everyone is going to fit the mold of whatever group they belong to.


But this is just my opinion, based on my particular experience. My point here is: I DON'T LIKE TO BE MISTAKEN FOR A GAY OR BI, BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER BEEN ATTRACTED TO MEN SEXUALLY, and when you crossdress, the immediate inference is: He's gay! He's bisexual!
So, why do you care what others think? Is it because there's a stigma attached to being gay or bi, or is it because it makes it harder to date? Personally, I hate it when people assume I'm a lesbian, but that's because it means men won't flirt with me. If it didn't interfere with my dating, I couldn't care less what people assume about my sexuality.

[Mitch23]

okay,
many of us GG's have actually (before we discovered your cding) have stumbled across gay sites/chatrooms that you have visited on the net .. and I am one of those.
Secondly so many have lied even when first questioned about those sites and other things before you first came out to us ..... if you have lied about that what else have you lied about ???.
3rdly so many continue to visit the same/similar sites. Then there are the lengths so many will go to to hide their online activity ........ it sure as heck don't gve us room to believe what we hear from you, and so if your partners are having trouble believing what they hear, why should mr/mrs average believe any different.

Then there are the many threads of the type " .....do you dream of being with a man when dressed", ....HELLO and you wonder why society in general equate cding with bi/gay tendancies.

Those are just my thoughts and questions, just my 0.02
yes before i came here, i belonged to a contact site which had a cd section. i had some very interesting replies and met one or two nice friends through it. but mitch is quite a genteel little girl and is not about to give her honour away that easily!

mitch

[espaniola]

Not necessarily true of ALL gays, bis and hetero CDs. Not everyone is going to fit the mold of whatever group they belong to.


So, why do you care what others think? Is it because there's a stigma attached to being gay or bi, or is it because it makes it harder to date? Personally, I hate it when people assume I'm a lesbian, but that's because it means men won't flirt with me. If it didn't interfere with my dating, I couldn't care less what people assume about my sexuality.

Agreed, not everybody fits the mold, but the majority of male gays and bis (CD or not) act differently in public from the majority of straight males (CDs or not). I care, because THAT'S NOT WHO I AM. I like girls, period. And, as you admitted it yourself, IT DOES INTERFERE WITH MY DATING, big time.

For god sakes, don't you realize how "rude", agressive and "coarse" I am when I write? Would you ever think a gay or bisexual guy would write like a jerk, just as I do? Gimme some credit, please! LOL

[CaptLex]

For god sakes, don't you realize how "rude", agressive and "coarse" I am when I write? Would you ever think a gay or bisexual guy would write like a jerk, just as I do? Gimme some credit, please! LOL
If you've never met a crude, aggressive gay or bi guy (you're lucky) or a hetero that isn't that way . . . you need to get out more. ;)

[Karren H]

Guess if you don't want to be mistaken for something your not then maybe you need to find a different hobby, one with more clearcut definitions? Hehe Fishing? Cycling? Ice hockey? Star Trek fanatic? At least with cycling you could still wear spandex.... But then again it would be hard to tell if you were hetro or not.. Lol

Guess you could always try Not Giving a S**t what other people think... As a fall back position maybe??

Works for me...

:D

Love Karren

[Christa]

What do you mean "We hetero CDs"? Speak for yourself darling---many of us are bi or gay---Including Me.

Thanks for representing, Janessa!

[Caroline]

Agreed, not everybody fits the mold, but the majority of male gays and bis (CD or not) act differently in public from the majority of straight males (CDs or not).

It is easy to make such a claim, but I would be interested to see what credible evidence, if any, you have to support your contention.

Furthermore, I find it interesting that you are concerned when you are categorised as something you maintain that you are not, yet are apparently quite happy to make an unsubstantiated claim that the majority of gays, bis, heteros, and CDs act differently from each other in non-sexual situations.


I care, because THAT'S NOT WHO I AM. I like girls, period. And, as you admitted it yourself, IT DOES INTERFERE WITH MY DATING, big time.

Has it ever crossed your mind that your lack of success in the dating department may have absolutely nothing to do with you CDing? It certainly hasn't restricted me in any way, but then I am open about my CDing with any woman I am interested in.


For god sakes, don't you realize how "rude", agressive and "coarse" I am when I write? Would you ever think a gay or bisexual guy would write like a jerk, just as I do? Gimme some credit, please! LOL

Clearly that is meant as a joke, but it is in questionable taste and some may find it as discomfiting or offensive as you do when girls/women categorise you as gay/bi.

Frankly, I fail to see what your problem is apart from being someone who does not believe that he is as successful at dating as he would like to be.

[Cindyloo]

I'll tell you my opinion about this first, and then I expect to receive opinions from you all.

My opinion is, society wrongly equals someone being feminine to someone wanting to be taken sexually, as a woman. Society considers it is impossible for a "feminine" male, to act and function both socially and sexually as a male. They always associate wanting to be beautiful and sexy, especially by wearing "prohibited" women's clothing, to liking men, as well as wanting to act and feel like a woman all the time (much less of a "real" man, but "acting" as a man for social convenience, for power and position).

And I say this by experience, because I've had a couple of girlfriends in the past that thought this way even though they clearly experienced my maleness, by having sex with me when we both were super-sexily dressed in lingerie. They always thought I liked men and I was a bisexual but didn't want to admit it, for fear of being discriminated against by society.

What do you people think?

I think we had the same girlfriends. Most people do assume that if you are a man with fem qualities you MUST be gay. Society has grown up to believe that a man has to be macho with manly traits. Your not a man if you display any type of feminine signs. It's a shame that we have to hide our feminine side to be a man. I believe a complete man is one that can express both his feminine side as well as his manly side without prejudice. I do display some feminity when I am out as a guy and do get smirks and gawks from both sex's at times, but I just say **** them. I'm happy for who I am.


Cindy

[espaniola]

I think we had the same girlfriends. Most people do assume that if you are a man with fem qualities you MUST be gay. Society has grown up to believe that a man has to be macho with manly traits. Your not a man if you display any type of feminine signs. It's a shame that we have to hide our feminine side to be a man. I believe a complete man is one that can express both his feminine side as well as his manly side without prejudice. I do display some feminity when I am out as a guy and do get smirks and gawks from both sex's at times, but I just say **** them. I'm happy for who I am.
Cindy

I liked your response. Well, I actually believe those smirks and gawks are because people like you, not because they dislike you. According to some polls I've read, both women and men are more comfortable speaking or relating to "feminine" looking people (both women and men). If a face is too rough (ugly/masculine), it inspires either fear or distrust.

Also, I believe the more feminine you look (and act, to certain limit, not reaching the grotesque), the younger you look. For instance, I'm older than 30, and most people think I'm around 25, or even a college boy, on days when I look more delicate and feminine (which by the way I don't know how to control it, it just happens, some days I look rough and ugly (old), and everybody calls me "Sir", which I HATE, and some other days I look delicate and feminine (young), and people call me "young man" or "bro", "dude", even "Kid" etc., but not Sir. I hope this makes sense to you.