sandra-leigh
05-31-2007, 12:32 AM
A female friend (and ex co-worker) I've known for about 17 years was in town for a conference and suggested we meet; I immediately agreed as I rarely get to see her. The last time I saw her was before I started dressing. I could have just gone in drab and said nothing, or gone in drab and brought my dressing up in conversation, but what I did is show up at the restaurant in a green/gold blouse, D-cup forms (modest under the top, not large), long jean skirt, and wearing lipstick; with my natural hair (no wig). Presenting, in other words, as someone of intermediate gender, not as a female.
As soon as she saw me, she congradulated me on my "transformation". I indicated that it wasn't full time, just sometimes; she suggested "special occasions", and when I agreed, she said she felt honoured.
We didn't talk about the dressing at all until after dinner, after leaving the restaurant, and didn't really say a whole lot about it then. The topic was by no means ignored; we just had a lot of other things to talk about, and my dressing was accepted as completely natural. She did mention that she liked my new appearance. And she mentioned that one of the students in her department is going through transition, and she said she thought that student was "very brave".
When choosing to go dressed, I didn't worry at all that my friend would not accept my dressing; I just worried that showing up in a skirt might be too sudden of an introduction (since we haven't seen each other for 3+ years), and that the topic might end up monopolizing the discussion. But it worked out very well in practice.
The restaurant we went to is perhaps a dozen tables, better than average but not "high end". I've been in several times before (usually with my wife) -- often enough to be recognized by sight but not often enough to "know the staff". Anyhow, the staff treated me just fine, as if a male customer in a skirt is a well-established occurance. The other customers didn't pay any attention to me that I noticed, not even when I walked through the room in my blouse and skirt to put my coat on the hanger; I know some of them -saw-, but no heads tracked my motion; I wasn't "news".
But somehow, I still feel I made the right decision not to go in a dress -- not for the introduction. Next time, maybe.
As soon as she saw me, she congradulated me on my "transformation". I indicated that it wasn't full time, just sometimes; she suggested "special occasions", and when I agreed, she said she felt honoured.
We didn't talk about the dressing at all until after dinner, after leaving the restaurant, and didn't really say a whole lot about it then. The topic was by no means ignored; we just had a lot of other things to talk about, and my dressing was accepted as completely natural. She did mention that she liked my new appearance. And she mentioned that one of the students in her department is going through transition, and she said she thought that student was "very brave".
When choosing to go dressed, I didn't worry at all that my friend would not accept my dressing; I just worried that showing up in a skirt might be too sudden of an introduction (since we haven't seen each other for 3+ years), and that the topic might end up monopolizing the discussion. But it worked out very well in practice.
The restaurant we went to is perhaps a dozen tables, better than average but not "high end". I've been in several times before (usually with my wife) -- often enough to be recognized by sight but not often enough to "know the staff". Anyhow, the staff treated me just fine, as if a male customer in a skirt is a well-established occurance. The other customers didn't pay any attention to me that I noticed, not even when I walked through the room in my blouse and skirt to put my coat on the hanger; I know some of them -saw-, but no heads tracked my motion; I wasn't "news".
But somehow, I still feel I made the right decision not to go in a dress -- not for the introduction. Next time, maybe.