Love Yourself! and that is an order!

[Lovely Rita]

Of course Love cannot be done on Command but it is something very important for us Crossdressers to learn how to do. We can fall into the traps of self hate and low self esteem not only from outside stimuli but from inside ourselves as well.
If no one else loves us we have to make sure that we do. It takes practice. We learn how to love like anything else. Most times it does not come naturally.

I was watching something regarding an experiment Japanese Scientists did and it really spoke to me.

The experiment went like this. The scientists took 50 little dishes and put a single drop of water in each of them. They had very positive and spiritual people project love to some. Others projected gratitude and others projected hate and malice to other drops.

Then they froze them and photographed the crystals. The drops that received positive projections crystalized in beautiful snow flake patterns. The drops that received negative projections crystalized into ugly patterns that were not symetrical and were even yellow and putrid looking.

If drops of water can react this way then what do you think happens to us? We are over 90 percent water.

Tell yourself you love yourself and that you are a beautiful creature.

I am not talking about vanity or loving your image in the mirror but loving yourself in the inside, the person inside you who is a crossdresser amongst other things:love::hugs:.

You dont need an excuse to love Just an opportunity

[lucy Boo]

OMG Rita, ive read many of your posts and seen you pics in the forum and I can tell that you certainly, without question have learnt to love yourself hehe

[Kate Simmons]

You are absolutely right Rita and this is the way positive energy works (be it a form of prayer, energy flow or whatever). Positive thinking and energy is additive and symetrical and holds together. Negative energy is subtractive and does not form well and breaks down easily. It's a choice we always have but the choice is obvious to me, since negative energy will not work for me anyway, only positive.;):happy:

[O2B Barbara]

Truely amazing what a little positive can do for a person!

Kind of like this forum!

Thanks,

[Toyah]

Awwwwww I like being miserable:Angry3:

[trannie T]

I do not subscibe to the theories of 'positive energy' or pretty crystals forming because someone had happy thoughts but one key attribute necessary for happiness is self acceptance.
We have to be happy being who we are, we may wish to improve ourselves, but we have to distinguish whatever we wish to change from our essential being.
If we wish to love others and to be loved by others first we have to love ourselves.

[Lovely Rita]

Awwwwww I like being miserable:Angry3:

Behave yourself like a good little girlie:D


You are absolutely right Rita and this is the way positive energy works (be it a form of prayer, energy flow or whatever). Positive thinking and energy is additive and symetrical and holds together. Negative energy is subtractive and does not form well and breaks down easily. It's a choice we always have but the choice is obvious to me, since negative energy will not work for me anyway, only positive.;):happy:


I do you know. You are trully a sweet and kind person.:love:


OMG Rita, ive read many of your posts and seen you pics in the forum and I can tell that you certainly, without question have learnt to love yourself hehe


No one is going to stop me from loving myself. No one!

Got rid of the crummy bagage heaped on me years ago. Ain't gonna take it any more.:D


Truely amazing what a little positive can do for a person!

Kind of like this forum!

Thanks,


So let's be generous about it. Love costs us nothing:D

If we wish to love others and to be loved by others first we have to love ourselves.

Tranny T on this one I concur wholeheartedly

[Toyah]

I supose Toyah is happyer than my drab self but a lot more tarty :D
See the Latex thread!!!!

[Lovely Rita]

I supose Toyah is happyer than my drab self but a lot more tarty :D
See the Latex thread!!!!

Tarty, ****ty what is the difference as long as you love yourself:love:

You got spunk kiddo:thumbsup:

[Toyah]

I like to think I am one of a kind i8f thats good or bad I dont know but hell yes I like Toyah

[brenya]

I believe in positive and negetive energy, I'm having a hard time keeping positive lately though

[battybattybats]

I was watching something regarding an experiment Japanese Scientists did and it really spoke to me.

Has someone got a link to detailed info on this study?

[marie354]

If one simple thought can do that to a drop of water, just imagine what a bit of concentration can achieve.

Positive thinking for positive results. That's the ticket! It's power.
:hugs:

[Lovely Rita]

I like to think I am one of a kind i8f thats good or bad I dont know but hell yes I like Toyah


I believe in positive and negetive energy, I'm having a hard time keeping positive lately though


Has someone got a link to detailed info on this study?


If one simple thought can do that to a drop of water, just imagine what a bit of concentration can achieve.

Positive thinking for positive results. That's the ticket! It's power.
:hugs:


Toyah, I like you too!

Daisy, I hope you can stay positive. It is so very healthy:hugs:

Batty, I saw it in a documentary called "What the Bleep" A bunch of Scientists talking about Qunatum Mechanics. I love the movie and own it.

Marie, from what I know of you. You make many beautiful crystals in others:love:

[OldMom]

I agree wholeheartedly. Like attracts like. When we love ourselves we are more likely to attract others that like us too. However, one of my life missions is to learn to care more about what *I* think of me than what *you* do. I figure if I can get it then I can be an example for my son. He definitely struggles with self esteem.

I have to thank you all again for being so kind to me. I have been so afraid of the future as it relates to my son that it's sort of taking away from the enjoyment of his childhood for me. When I come here and read the thoughts and experiences of you all then it calms my fears. If my son grows up to be half the person I see in many of you, he'll be a fine human being. So thank you again!

OldMom

[Lovely Rita]

I agree wholeheartedly. Like attracts like. When we love ourselves we are more likely to attract others that like us too. However, one of my life missions is to learn to care more about what *I* think of me than what *you* do. I figure if I can get it then I can be an example for my son. He definitely struggles with self esteem.

I have to thank you all again for being so kind to me. I have been so afraid of the future as it relates to my son that it's sort of taking away from the enjoyment of his childhood for me. When I come here and read the thoughts and experiences of you all then it calms my fears. If my son grows up to be half the person I see in many of you, he'll be a fine human being. So thank you again!

OldMom


Loved what you wrote and loving ourselves is something we all need to learn. I bet that with you in his life your son will do just fine:love:

[Dixie]

Thanks Rita, that's something that I could stand to hear right about now.:D:love:

[sandra-leigh]

Has someone got a link to detailed info on this study?

Dr. Masaru Emoto, "The Hidden Messages In Water", three volumes so far.
Published a photo essay in the peer-reviewed journal "Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine", but the photo essay was not peer reviewed.

[Fab Karen]

I think I should at least buy myself dinner first.:D

[Ekatcha]

Not to be a downer, but out of curiousity how does one propose to do this and actually mean / believe it ? Seriously, I've never been good at it for the entirety of my life, I'm not wired that way. I usually would say "realist" instead of "pessimist" or "negative" but all lables probably apply. I'm an easier said than done sort of person, so... if one was to go about doing, how would you?

[Wendy me]

Rita i am with you on this one .... how could you ever expect any one to love and accept you if you don't love and respect your self first ??? i do mediation and of all the feel good drugs out there self love and acceptance of who we are is the best out there....

[lucy Boo]

No one is going to stop me from loving myself. No one!

Got rid of the crummy bagage heaped on me years ago. Ain't gonna take it any more.:D

Loving yourself can be a double edged sword. While I agree we crossdressers often battle internally about ourselves, but in some cases "loving yourself "can be to the point of narcissism and I think its important that we have a balanced approach. So while I respect that youve have achieved your "goal" of loving yourself, but it would be nice if you wrote a post about something other than how much you love yourself, because I am sure there is much more depth to you than that and it would be nice to see you expand your in -depth appraisal of yourself to other areas of your life x

[Lovely Rita]

Not to be a downer, but out of curiousity how does one propose to do this and actually mean / believe it ? Seriously, I've never been good at it for the entirety of my life, I'm not wired that way. I usually would say "realist" instead of "pessimist" or "negative" but all lables probably apply. I'm an easier said than done sort of person, so... if one was to go about doing, how would you?


Rita i am with you on this one .... how could you ever expect any one to love and accept you if you don't love and respect your self first ??? i do mediation and of all the feel good drugs out there self love and acceptance of who we are is the best out there....


No one is going to stop me from loving myself. No one!

Got rid of the crummy bagage heaped on me years ago. Ain't gonna take it any more.:D

Loving yourself can be a double edged sword. While I agree we crossdressers often battle internally about ourselves, but in some cases "loving yourself "can be to the point of narcissism and I think its important that we have a balanced approach. So while I respect that youve have achieved your "goal" of loving yourself, but it would be nice if you wrote a post about something other than how much you love yourself, because I am sure there is much more depth to you than that and it would be nice to see you expand your in -depth appraisal of yourself to other areas of your life x

Ekatcha, speaking for myself. What helped me was thinking about all the reasons I did not like myself very much. Outside influences and conditioning about crossdressing as well as my inner response to it. Then I thought a lot about getting rid of the baggage, as some would call it, and self introspection. I weighed all the reasons society and myself gave me with regard to not loving myself and I rejected it all. It was unjustified and deleterious. It was a program and a bill of goods I was sold and I also concluded that disliking myself was definitely bad for me. I made a decision that I would love me. It has been a work in progress ever since. I may not get there completely but I am definitely in the right direction.

Wendy, I am so greatful for your comments. I think I can love others more now that I am accepting and loving myself more. Thanks again:love:

Dearest Lucy, your sentiments remind me of an old friend Horace, and I hear you loud and clear, but I am a work in progress and having been trying to share my good fortune with others who may be interested in hearing it. I have read so many threads about people struggling to accept and come to grips with who they are that I thought I could share some positive insights, if you please, on my journey of self discovery and self love.

I hope you don't misinterpret my genuine quest for healthy self love with narcissim, but we can all be a little guilty of that for sure.

Sincerely, my endeavor was to put out a good vibe for this wonderful family of crossdressers that holds so much in common with me. I have a long way to go on the love journey, everyday is a new adventure and the wonderful and powerful lessons I am learning about love is something I cannot hold in but must yell it from the roof tops. This is not some pink cloud I am in. It is the fact that I have accepted the person I was created to be and I am finally loving it.

I must say that finally coming to a place of self acceptance and self love is a place I always wanted to be but never knew how to get there. I have not even really scratched the surface of this love thing and I don't believe that for me and maybe others there is a deeper subject than self love and the love of others. I know that I can love you much more now because like Wendy mentioned I can finally love myself.

I am not done with this subject by a long shot:love:

It is what inspires me and if the muses choose something different I will be happy to write about it:D

[battybattybats]

I wonder how many of us have harmed ourselves or given too much ground to others because of a lack of self acceptance/love?

Not just us CD's but all humans?

Often it is critisized but what is wrong about it other than being less conformist or manipulatable?

Nothing. Not one thing. Loving yourself properly doesn't mean loving others any less, instead it means loving them more as you are less jeolous and more accepting.

[Victoria Anne]

Lovely Rita I do so enjoy reading your posts,you have a good message that you share and is what many of us need to learn....love....what a wonderful feelinga and thing to have for ones self as well as for others. Thank you.

[az_azeel]

Rita,
what a positive thread, I,ve learned over the years that you have to love yourself in order to love another.


:hugs:

[Alesia]

How can I love my self when i do not love the body i am in

[Lovely Rita]

I wonder how many of us have harmed ourselves or given too much ground to others because of a lack of self acceptance/love?

Not just us CD's but all humans?

Often it is critisized but what is wrong about it other than being less conformist or manipulatable?

Nothing. Not one thing. Loving yourself properly doesn't mean loving others any less, instead it means loving them more as you are less jeolous and more accepting.


Lovely Rita I do so enjoy reading your posts,you have a good message that you share and is what many of us need to learn....love....what a wonderful feelinga and thing to have for ones self as well as for others. Thank you.


Rita,
what a positive thread, I,ve learned over the years that you have to love yourself in order to love another.


:hugs:

Batty, I agree wholeheartedly and I really believe I love others more now because of it. I can even take criticism easier from others much better than before. I guess my confidance level is also getting stronger.:thumbsup:

Victoria, thanks for understanding and your kind words of support. In my deepest heart by sharing this I am hoping to help and not hurt.:love:

Az Azeel, My sentiments exactly. Thank you for putting it so well.:love:

[CDTiffany]

Rita!!! You, opened a can of Crossdressers, didnt you?
It's a Day to Day thing, for the most part, i love, who I am!!!!!!!!!!!

I love being a CD-Girl. Too much fun!
Someday's, The Drop of water, Falls, in the mud (not to often).

For the most part of my CD life. I am cool with it (love it)
We do need to love our selves, 24/7. NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!

On the 19th Day, god Created Crossdressers!!!!!!!!!! (good for God)

Thank you, Rita!
XOXO Tiffany

[maria p]

Congratulations on reaching this time in your life, when you must have challenged and overcome so many obstacles in your life. It is no doubt a unique journey of self discovery to reach where you are, but is it just Rita who you love are do you love the man whom you are too? Ive read the posts and I think there is a thin dividing line between loving yourself and BEING IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF. I had a husband who was so obsessed with his crossdressing that I came third, not even second because he indulged his sordid web friends who he had cyber sex with more than me. So by all means love yourself, but don't forget to internalise and frequently question if you have crossed the dividing line and how being in love with yourself is at the expense of others

[Becky Moore]

I always LOVE MYSELF especially if my boyfriends not around he he x

[Sheri 4242]

If we wish to love others and to be loved by others first we have to love ourselves.

Rita,

What is being said here is biblical, too . . . that we must love ourselves if we are to learn to, and truly, love others!!! You have brought out a crucial lesson that can only help us with ourselves and with others!!! (Of course we are not talking about what falls under the narcissitic - that's an unhealthy personality disorder.) Anyway, THANKS Rita!!! Learning to love ourselves seems especially important (as far as I am concerned) for CDers since so many live with such tremendous guilt -- which, in turn, dramatically effects one's self perception. How often have we seen CDers who go through intense periods of self-loathing?!!!

Barbara

[Marla S]

I don't believe in this water drop experiment.

BUT, Rita you are right.
Love yourself and you can give love to others.

[Lovely Rita]

Tiffany, I can see it when some one loves themselves and you radiate it. It is great.

Marla, thanks for the sobering reminder. I think that with anything we always have to be on guard with our tendency towards selfishness and self absorption. It is a terrible part of the human condition. My endeavor has been more about countering all those things that led me towards self hate and my depression that was connected with a very low self esteem and unacceptance of this part of me. I probably have erred at times with overindulging and need to be mindful of this very real danger, but I am joyful about the fact that I love the human being I am with all my complexities and am working to stay clear of the manipulative and self destructive aspects of narcisstic behavoir. I believe my faith in God helps counter balance the ugly side of things but I never make the mistake of thinking I am standing firm and must always search myself. Thank you for your very deep insight

Barbara, Thank you and I agree wholeheartedly. You hit the nail on the head. Our fight is against the self destructive self loathing that affects so many of us. Thanks again.

Marla, regarding the water drop, I cannot confirm it's validity one way or the other but I am very clear on the ill effects of hatred and the wonderful effects on us human beings that love has. I have personally witnessed how strong and healthy those people are that I have known throughout my life who were loved and nurtured by others in their life.
I have seen what wonderful and positive people they grew to be for the most part, there are always exceptions. Thanks for your comment.

[Toyah]

Ok I like myself now what next ????

[Lovely Rita]

Ok I like myself now what next ????

Hey Toyah, I like you too! Now let's love our neighbor:love:

[Toyah]

Oh no he is scary he wears women's clothes ya know :eek::straightface:

[Lovely Rita]

Oh no he is scary he wears women's clothes ya know :eek::straightface:

I love your wonderful sense of humor and your lively spirit.:love: