How do you see other CDers

[JoAnnDallas]

This is a subject I have not seen posted about so
I was wondering how many of you that belong to a surport group or go out with othe CDers, do think of the other CDer as a man or a woman? Have you seen them in both male mode and fem mode and if so, did you react to them differently? I guess it also applies to when your on a CD forum. As you read a posting, do you visulize the poster as a male or a female?

I belong to Tri-Ess and went to HEF last year. I realized that not once did I think of another CD as a man. I was there Friday night in male mode and all day Saturday in fem mode. I did not detect and difference in how others reacted or treated me. Some of my CD friends, I have never seen in male mode, and may very well shock me when the day comes and I see them that way. My friend Tootsye has seen me in both male and fem modes and not once did I notice any difference in how she reacted to or treated me. Both times she was en fem.

[Katelyn]

I see most CD's at what they are presenting. One of my friends over here is a CD too. when were in male mode, we shake hands and say "Sup man?" but if one or even both of us are dressed, then we hug each other and change the terms to "Hey girl!" And it's perfectly comfortable. I see what you want me to see.

[Dana921]

I joined the local Tri-Ess chapter and have gone to a meeting and met a couple of the members in both Male and Female modes. I try very hard to interact with them as they appear. Remembering two names instead of one can be tough (not very good with names) and if on the phone it is really hard to address them sometimes. Usually just talk to them as I would when I greet them face to face with whichever mode they are dressed. It can be confusing at times when you know both sides but the group here seems to be very receptive and patient toward the new folks getting the social skills down.

Dana

[Eileen]

JoAnn when I am with another girl like me and she is dressed I only see her as a girl. Some times even when they are not enfem, it is difficult to think of them as any thing but a girl. Because in their minds as well as mine they are still a girl.

Eileen

[sterling12]

Since I personally think of Joanie and John as being two separate, harmonized, personalities that inhabit the same body, I'm pretty accepting of whatever person presents before me, be it male or female.

I have seen most of my close friends in Tri-ess as males, and certainly as their female alter ego's. Some of them are somewhat effeminate as males but most are not. Doesn't seem to be a lot of 'bleed-over" between the two personalities. I think a lot of us have spent a lifetime of building up a male persona that no one would question. And so, I kind of expect to see someone who is "all male" when they change their outfit.

I have CD Friends who are plumbers, electricians, mechanics, truck drivers. All of these jobs are generally considered to be "macho." I would expect to see a male personality when not En Femme.

I reckon that in the end, it really doesn't matter very much. What the other person does or becomes, is their life. Joanie is very girly-gurl. She loves to be glamorous and very feminine. John plays golf and does a lot of auto repair and home improvement. Guess I just figured everybody else was about the same way, so I never thought about it too much.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Fab Karen]

If you know both names it can be easier to just use the girl name if that's what you're more familiar with. I go by Karen with friends who got to know Karen first. Switching back & forth is just unnecessary.

[Phoebe Reece]

I have a number of CD friends that I know both as male and femme. If they are dressed femme, I relate to them as women. If they are drab, I relate to them as guys. If on the phone, it depends on the nature of the conversation. We will often use both names pretty interchangeably. After all, we are the same people regardless of the way we are presenting. We do tend to be more correct in public places where our conversations may be overheard. Don't want to confuse the general public more than we do already.

[Victoria Anne]

Here I see only women except for the ftm's who I see as male. Now by profession I am a truck driver,there's the macho part now as an example of how interchangable my persona's are. I am sitting in Colorodo right now waiting to load so I baked a cake! yes a cake, a lemon swirl cake,taste's pretty good to. A couple of nights ago I neary went to fist-a-cuffs with a guy who cursed my wife! pretty heated at that but my point is that it is not only dependent upon the time,location but upon a minute by minute basis as to weather I present,see other CD's. I have been and addressed others in male mode by there/my femme name in public,on the phone and private. Hugged and shaken hands in drab and femme,it simply depends on the present moment. Did not mean to carry on so long. Love to all.

Viccy

[michelle-h]

I just spent a weekend with one of my friends and her wife. Part of the time I was in drab, and part of the time I was dressed, but to them I was Michelle all weekend. Even their sons called me Michelle the whole time. It was kind of nice to be considered a girl, either way. I guess it just depends on how your friends think of you. I tend to think of my friends in femme no matter what. I guess they feel the same way.

Michelle

[marie354]

What's in a name?
I would rather people that know my femme side call me Sandy, but it doesn't always happen. Some, like my SO, will always see Sam.
The 1 person I have met from here, calls me Sandy and I call her Sandy, that's what she prefers that I know her as. (Cute, huh? We're both named Sandy.)
If someone wanted to be called James instead of JoAnn, that's what I'd call them.

So I guess it's all a matter of respect. If they want you to know them as Ginger instead of George, then so be it.
:hugs:

[Holly]

JoAnn when I am with another girl like me and she is dressed I only see her as a girl. Some times even when they are not enfem, it is difficult to think of them as any thing but a girl. Because in their minds as well as mine they are still a girl.

EileenNicely said, Eileen! :clap:

[sandra-leigh]

I was wondering how many of you that belong to a surport group or go out with othe CDers, do think of the other CDer as a man or a woman?

I guess I tend to think of them as male, and that includes the ones going through transition. At the same time, for several of them I don't have any mental picture of their lives as male; others have been at the meetings in drab several times, or speak about their male life.

I haven't really thought about it much; mentally reviewing, there is one whom I don't tend to think of maleness for; that's the (by far) most passible member of the group, who also happens to be someone I have not spoken much too -- they really look female, and I haven't had experience to suggest anything else to my inner judger.

But when I say that I tend to think of the other members as male, I don't mean that I think of them as "Someone who ought to be look like a man, G-- d---!"; I tend to think of them as males for whom wearing women's clothes and forms and makeup and whatever is the right thing to do. Just like I don't think of myself as "female". Even when I'm fully dressed and trying to "pass", I become at most "something inbetween, perhaps no longer male, but also not really female."

[joann07]

I'm the same too
I am a member of my local Tri-Ess and when I'm out with fellow CDers, I think of them has women. I've seen some them in guy mode and, like Eileen said, sometimes even when they are not enfem, it is difficult to think of them as any thing but a girl. Because in my mind they are still a girl. However, I'm starting to see them more in male mode so its not as difficult.

[battybattybats]

In the past I used to see CD's and drag queens fairly negatively and not so transexuals. It was my own shallowness though as most of the former two I'd seen weren't very attractive and most of the latter were. For a while that was a way I was repressing my own CDing desires, only keeping things sexual and very sporadic. I didn't think I could look very feminine or very good. As I grew up though I realised that thinking was shallow. Later I was to see a lot of attractive CD's and even a couple of Drag Queens.

Then at one point I realised that I could look ok as a girl after a few comments from GG's when I was in drab about seeming quite feminine. That was the begining to my self acceptance. Since then I have begun to view everyone TG in a different light and I'm still quite perturbed by the fact that such shallow thinking was in my mind at all, after all I never viewed GG's or GM's in such a shallow way.

[Kate Simmons]

I've seen most of my friends in both modes. I relate to the overall person mostly and appropriately according to presentation at the time.:happy:

[Dixie]

When I see other crossdressers that's just what I see a crossdresser, however I always say miss or ma'am and refer to them as they present themselves.

[Khriss]

of how sweet , it could be...
..If i could pass.. eh ??:eek:: xx"K":(

[O2B Barbara]

I have not met with others yet but here on the forum I see mostly girls. With some of the questions it is obivious that the person is speaking as male or female and that is ok. I just see everyone here as a person just like me. Genetic parts of one kind but have a lot of feminine or masculine just wanting to be recognized and accepted by others.

[Lanore]

When I suspect someone is a CD, I feel for the nervous type. They look like they're going to steal something. When they just go about their own business and forget what the world thinks, I know they have accepted them selves for who they are inside. CD's, TS's and TG's are real people with real feelings and I accept them for who they are.

Lanore