Accidentally Outed Myself

[AshleyLove]

...to my mom! *shockhorror* I had some.. ahem.. delicates air drying in my closet (poetically enough); and a drawer open where the rest of my delicates are (as a reminder to myself to put the air drying ones away).

So I'm falling in and out of a nap on the couch when in my sleepy gaze I see my mom follow our cat into my room. I could only hold my breath as I watch her kind of pause and stare before scooping up the cat.

Now this was way earlier today, and we had plenty of time to talk alone; yet she hasn't brought it up. I don't think she even knows I saw her notice my private things. She most likely doesn't know what to say, and I wouldn't either if she did bring it up.

Any advice, ladies?

[Bobbie cd]

The only advice I could possibly give is, try the truth. No way she did not see that, and yes, she probably just doesn't know what to say or how to open that conversation at this point.

But, she is your mom, it takes a lot to really wreck that!

[Angie G]

Good luck hun :hugs:
Angie

[AshleyLove]

The only advice I could possibly give is, try the truth. No way she did not see that, and yes, she probably just doesn't know what to say or how to open that conversation at this point.

But, she is your mom, it takes a lot to really wreck that!

Yes, now I'm congratulating myself for being especially generous this past Mother's Day!

I guess I know it's going to happen at some point, but I'm not really looking forward to having that conversation.

Thanks for the support, girls!

[kerrianna]

You didn't out yourself - the evil CAT did! :eek: 48475

I don't think I would say anything. Moms collect evidence until they are ready, and sometimes they will just wait for you to be ready to talk. So if you are, great, if not, just know that you CAN'T HIDE FROM MOMS! :worried: :shocked: ....(esp ones aided by tattletale cats!) :rolleyes:

I know my mom knows way more than she lets on. She has to. But she won't say anything until I do. Don't know if your mom is the same way. She may want to privately learn more or she may just monitor it to see if you are ok.


Good luck. And don't trust that cat!

[AmberTG]

Ya, it seems that moms have a way of not saying everything they know. My first wife told my mother about my cross dressing when we were having problems and my wife and my mother got in an argument. It was one of those "you think your son is so perfect..." kinda things. My mom never did say anything to me about it, the only reason I knew about it is because my first wife told me about it later. I think I was mid 20s at the time.

[Victoria Gizelle]

The best thing I could say; is you'll tell her when your ready. If you think you can't, then tell her that they belong to your girlfriend. It's all in how you see it. "It's mind over matter". If you don't mind It don't matter" just be cool about it.:D

[Ekatcha]

I think its kinda like the military, don't ask, don't tell. While I'm sure she noticed, I don't know if I'd necessarily bring it up. I am, however, a timid person in general, so that's just me (whenever I get the bravery, Im either put down or just regret it in general). That said, say something when you feel comfortable about it. If she brings it up beforehand, then that might (if you're ready) force the issue, but otherwise I wouldn't discuss it til your ready. If that's never, then no worries. If its tomorrow then you might look for something to calm them butterflies.

[O2B Barbara]

I would look at what kind of person your mother is. Open and accepting or narrow minded and opposed to anything outside the norm. Either way she probably has a pretty good idea of what she saw.

[Khriss]

.... fess up..eh?
lies breed more lies...and
she may be dissappointed to start.but understanding ...as my Mom was
through "the-Deal" eh ?? xx"K"

[MJ]

just tell your mum , be honest about it .. good luck hun

[Robin Leigh]

The drawer was open. She obviously saw the contents. Mothers notice things. :) So now she knows. But she doesn't know the real story. So now you have to fill in the blanks & correct her misconceptions. The sooner, the better.

Good luck!

:hugs:

Robin

[battybattybats]

And don't be mean to the cat.. it probably thought it was in your best interest :)

[Marla S]

I guess I know it's going to happen at some point, but I'm not really looking forward to having that conversation.

Thanks for the support, girls!

I never talked to my mother, but as a mother she is not stupid.
She most likely ... definitively ... knows.
I have never been very clever in hiding my stuff, and she must have found it at least three times (probably more often) when I lived at home.
She saw me wearing hose. Just two weeks ago when I met her on a trip she most definitvely saw me wearing a chemise ... she isn't blind.

BUT, during of our latest calls, after I told her about some trouble with my Ex she said "It's none of her business anymore what you are wearing":eek::happy::happy::happy:.

To the point. My mum knows that there is somethng going on, she sees my androgynous style, but she also sees that I am more happy and optimistic lately.

I think the both of us are not really prepared to talk, but probably it isn't necessary (would there be a different result ?).

She knows, I am happy, which makes her happy. Not everything needs a talk ... she's my mum finally and I LOOOOOOOOVE her:love:

[TxKimberly]

In all the posts I have read on this forum in the last few years, I don't recall reading any where a mother freaked out. If there are any posts like that here, they must be a very small percentage. I DO recall seeing a large number of posts describing how Mothers have been told and were way cool with it.
Talk to her - her imagination is probably hard at work right now and you may well ease both of your burdens.

Kim

[Mitch23]

In all the posts I have read on this forum in the last few years, I don't recall reading any where a mother freaked out. If there are any posts like that here, they must be a very small percentage. I DO recall seeing a large number of posts describing how Mothers have been told and were way cool with it.
Talk to her - her imagination is probably hard at work right now and you may well ease both of your burdens.

Kim
Only you know your mother but I agree with Kimberley just tell her - she'll prolly be really cool about it! I wish I'd told my mum while she was still alive!

Mitch

[Kristen Marie]

It sounds like she saw your items. But I would not force a conversation at this point, especially since she did not explode immediately at that moment. That to me is a good sign. The time will come and be honest with her.

Moms want to find the right time to have a talk. However, if it does not come soon, I would consider dropping a hint by leaving an article of clothing around at a later date. She will be on the look-out for items now and if you are honest with her when you have your talk, I think you will have the best possible outcome.

[RickNY]

About a year ago I told my wife...it didn't go over well at first (still a touchy subject to this day). Well, after a few months of tension, my mother could tell something was going on (as mothers are good at doing). I decided to come clean with her and tell her about me and what had happened. Her reaction was something along the lines of "is that all?". Yeah, she probably would rather I didn't have this need, only because of the potential difficulties it could present for me, but I'm her son and she loves me unconditionally and is supportive of me as I am not doing anything that harms anyone.

Go ahead and give it a shot...if she really had a major issue with it, she probably would have confronted you on the spot.

[brenya]

I know my mom has at least seen my "box 'o panties" but she wouldn't say anything to me I don't think, if I was to bring it up she would just change the subject with a random argument, I've come to the conclusion that she doesn't want to know anything directly, so she can ignore it

[tommi]

My mother once left a note in the drawer and that was the end of it.
The note was simple caring and reassuring , I think she knew for a long time
before and I just never realized it.

[AshleyLove]

Only you know your mother but I agree with Kimberley just tell her - she'll prolly be really cool about it! I wish I'd told my mum while she was still alive!

Mitch

That's a good point, but I'm not really expecting her to freak out at me. But I am afraid she'll think of me differently. Which I guess I can't change now.
And like Kristen said, I don't want to force a conversation about it; I want it to just happen spontaneously.

Thanks again for all the advice, girls! I guess I just had to tell someone

[Seville]

In all the posts I have read on this forum in the last few years, I don't recall reading any where a mother freaked out. If there are any posts like that here, they must be a very small percentage. I DO recall seeing a large number of posts describing how Mothers have been told and were way cool with it.
Talk to her - her imagination is probably hard at work right now and you may well ease both of your burdens.

Kim

Kim, read some of my horror stories!!! My mother went beserk
for years...Well, I endured years of emotional and
physical violence ending up in complete estrangement from the entire family.
My mother is NOT nice!!!:thumbsdn::thumbsdn::thumbsdn:

[Seville]

My mother once left a note in the drawer and that was the end of it.
The note was simple caring and reassuring , I think she knew for a long time
before and I just never realized it.

You should see the hundreds of evil hateful notes I
received! Yuck!!! :thumbsdn:

But with each note, I became stronger
in my conviction to continue crossdressing. :thumbsup:

I'm really GLAD that your situation turned out positive.
Love your Mother! :happy:

[Holly]

Ashley, just let her know that if there is anything that she would like to talk about, that you are there and ready.

[Kitty Sue]

Well no matter what I bet she still loves you and always will. All the best, KS.

[Chantelle CD]

Hope it works out and you dont have to have the convo, i told my mom because of the split up of my SO when she couldn't handle it, <story is in my intro> and she hit the roof, going on and on and on, i was a mess about the split up, and she just made me so much worse, i think she thinks i have stopped now, she hasn't said anything more about it, ohh ya she also told my sister i would never have told in years after she promised not to say anything to anyone if i tell her this :/

[Dawn D.]

Ashley, I just had a similar situation happen to me just the night before last. My widowed mother lives right next door to my wife and I (conveinient and not so). Well, in the evenings my wife and I like to get comfortable.....ahem.... However, this evening I was rather conservative in dress, I was wearing a pair of brown yoga pants, a nice white 3/4 sleeve cadigan and a hearingbone necklace. We were in our living room on the couch together, watching tv and we like to leave our front door open so that our dogs can come in and out at thier pleasure to enjoy the nice weather. So, long story short... all of a sudden thru our front door comes walking in .....My Mother!!!! My wife says something like "OH S$#@" and I just sat there like nothing was any different. This was probably the best way for me to have reacted as it turned out. My mothers reaction (if there was one) did not show. She just sat down in one of our recliners and began to chat with us just like normal. This went on for the better part of an hour and then she got up and we said our goodbyes and she was gone. She has been over several times in the last few days and she has not once said anything or acted differently. There is just no-way that she could NOT have noticed (or so I felt).

My wife and I had a short chat afterwards that night. She asked me what I was going to do or say if someone such as my mother discovered me in this way or another again and only this time was to say something about it. My response was simple, I'll tell them the truth, completely and honestly. Also, since I don't venture outside displaying my feminen presence, if you come over to my house and see me this way, just remember.......it is MY house!!!

And I guess like a lot of girls here, anymore, I am just tired of hiding so much! Accept it or not, the choice is theirs to make.

[Mitch23]

Gosh - it would have been interesting to be a fly on the wall for that one! What did you talk about for that hour! And yes it is your house, you can dress how you like in it, and she should have knocked!

Mitch

[Dawn D.]

Quite frankly, we simply talked about repairs be made to her house and other general family chit chat. It was like nothing was amiss at all. Well, in her defense, she did yell out "knock, knock" before entering. Only thing is I had no opportunity to make a safe retreat from our living room to the bedroom since I would have to walk past her anyway. It was entire my fault for leaving the door open for our dogs. Funny thing is, one of them usually gives out a hearty series of welcoming barks when someone approaches the house. Kind of an early warning system, lol. This time however, she didn't until Mom was right at the door! Too late!!


Dawn

[Laura Jane]

Mums know......this joke shows how cute they are!

A young man called Paul invited his mother for dinner, during the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how handsome Paul's flatmate, Suzy, was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Paul and his flatmate than met the eye.

Reading his mum's thoughts, Paul volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Suzy & I are just flatmates".

About a week later, Suzy came to Paul saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the nice blue ashtray, you don't suppose she took it do you?"

"Well I doubt it, but I'll email her just to be sure" said Paul. So he sat down and wrote:

DEAR MOTHER,
I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID" TAKE THE BLUE ASHTRAY FROM MY HOUSE, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID NOT" TAKE THE BLUE ASHTRAY BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IT HAS BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE YOU WERE HERE FOR DINNER.
LOVE PAUL

Several days later, Paul received an email from his mother which read:

DEAR SON,
I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DO" SLEEP WITH SUZY, AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DO NOT" SLEEP WITH SUZY, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IF SHE WAS SLEEPING IN HER OWN BED, SHE WOULD HAVE FOUND THE BLUE ASHTRAY BY NOW.
LOVE MUM

[AshleyLove]

Kim, read some of my horror stories!!! ...

Wow! Sorry to hear about that! Sad how closed-minded some people can be :sad: :hugs:


Ashley, I just had a similar situation happen to me just the night before last....

LOL! VERY similar! And in that sense, what I do in my own room is my business..?

Let us know if your mom ever says anything about that day

[Rita B]

I don't know how old you are or if you are still living at home. Anyway, mothers know a lot more about their children than you think they do!

Good luck with a good heart to heart.


Rita