oh those US army boys

[MJ]

mood = confused

Well i met this guy on line and we are having a great time talking joking around and you know these army boys :heehee: .. and for the first time in my life i am having a wonderful fun time with him but he does not know i am a ts :eek:.. and for the first time in my life he makes me feel like a woman :D and i love it .no man has talked to me like this . the problem is i have to tell him .. but i don't want too
because i don't want this to end .. and i fear it will :(.. it breaks my heart when people find out and then treat me different i don't want that .. and he wants pictures boy am i in trouble..
so i know what i should do .........but i love the interaction we have and don't want to lose it .. on one hand i love being me a woman .. on the other hand losing this friendship because I'm a ts sucks and hurts
he is a great guy in Iraq can't say anymore but god i wish i were fixed :D

so do i tell or not !!! . and enjoy the frill of being treated as a gg you don't know much this hurts

[Sharon]

If this relationship grows, there may come a time you will need to be honest with him. Will it be easier when and if this happens?

[Jill]

It's not fair to jerk people around and mislead them because we get some enjoyment out of it. I personally think it's wrong to try to convince other people that we are women, that's meddling with peoples feelings, big time. He's probably going to find out sooner or later that you are really a guy and when he does, he's gonna be pretty mad, I'm sure. The longer you wait, the more upset he is going to be. I think this is treading on dangerous ground.

[Jacqui]

MJ, I have to be honest with you and I hope I don't offend....but since he believes he's corresponding with a woman, there's a strong chance he may be devastated to find out otherwise. If I were you, I would try to find a way to end this amicably without letting him know the truth. I can't imagine anything worse than being depressed about a relationship when you're trying to stay alive each day in Iraq.

I think you know, based on reading your posts, that the right thing to do is to start and continue relationships with those who know the truth up front.

That's just my :2c:

Good luck,
Jacqui

[spaceycasey GG]

MJ My CD SO was honest with me from the start and I have so much love and respect for him. Not that CDing would have ever bothered me but the lack of honesty would have definately hurt me and eventually have pissed me off. To fall in love with someone and then to find out that that someone is not who you think they are, hurts. Keeping a secret from someone is the same no matter which way you want to paint it. Honesty is always the best policy. If we can't be truthful to others how are we even truthful to ourselves? You want someone to love you and cherish you for who you really are, not who you portray yourself to be. It is my belief that you will not be able to have a truly fullfilling and rewarding relationship unless you are open as to who you are from the start. What is the point of holding back when your true selves will be revealed eventualy?:hugs:

[rose382832]

let him know that there is no way you 2 will ever get together. but dont tell him what you are his life deployed is rough enough without that. he is probably( from personal experience in bosnia somalia and rwanda) lonely and misses home. any friend that can take the stress away, if only for the time he is chatting online is a great help to his morale. we should all adopt a soldier and help them thru their tours away from home.( if we pretend to be a girl for them then it also helps us on our tour from reality)

[SarahLynn]

This has happened in the past and the outcome has never been good. While i do not personely know anyone who has had this problem i have heard of the results.:thumbsdn::thumbsdn:

At the very best you will be hearing very bad things said to and about you. At the very worst you are setting yourself up for some serious physical harm. Permanent physical harm. My advice: Dont go there.:(

Sarahlynn

[Tiffanyzzz]

Hi.

You really need to be honest with him. You are playing a very dangerous game. I know how wonderful it feels. But no good will come from it.

Please sweetie, get out while you can.

Hugs.

[MJ]

He's probably going to find out sooner or later that you are really a guy and when he does, he's gonna be pretty mad, I'm sure.

i understand but i am not a guy ... i am a ts never was a guy .. and i respect what he is doing .. he maybe a young pup .. not interested in me


MJ To fall in love with someone and then to find out that that someone is not who you think they are, hurts.

i know i hurt the one i loved .. been there done that never again


Honesty is always the best policy.

i say that in my post .. and believe truth is the best way ..


any friend that can take the stress away, if only for the time he is chatting on line is a great help to his morale. we should all adopt a soldier and help them thru their tours away from home

yes he found me just for the record .. and he makes me smile and laugh but every time i meet someone when they find out Evan if it right for the start i don't get treated the same as gg with one exception my boss he treats me just like any other woman .. and it's the net what are the chances of anything working out .. and he is in the us i am in Canada no chance
but because i believe in the truth thats whats hurting at this time

[Joy Carter]

MJ, I have to be honest with you and I hope I don't offend....but since he believes he's corresponding with a woman, there's a strong chance he may be devastated to find out otherwise. If I were you, I would try to find a way to end this amicably without letting him know the truth. I can't imagine anything worse than being depressed about a relationship when you're trying to stay alive each day in Iraq.

I think you know, based on reading your posts, that the right thing to do is to start and continue relationships with those who know the truth up front.

That's just my :2c:

Good luck,
Jacqui



Wise words from Jacqui. Do the right thing but don't tell him your TG MJ. He has enough to contend with.

[Stephenie S]

I agree with the others here on this forum. Deceiving a soldier who is in harms way and belives he is talking to a GG is inconsiderate in the least. This is no way to treat our fighting guys at war. Even if you don't believe the war is justified, these young men are all risking their lives on a daily basis. This guy is probably getting some enjoyment out of talking to a girl back home. He may be devastated and embarrassed to find out your true identity.

Break it off before you do more harm.

Stephenie

[Tamara Croft]

I only have one question MJ, how far do you think this will actually go? If it's friendship and you never get to meet, then I don't think you should say anything, what's the point? It's your friendship, you do what you feel is right, you have to live with your decision, no one else :hugs:

[Shelly Preston]

I agree there no point in saying anything unless it gets serious

If it does then tell him when he is on US soil and not in IRAQ

[Di]

MJ if he is flirting and looks like it will be getting serious....you have to tell....have to........as soon as it starts not just being friend mode....it is not fair to either of you.........do not let it get that far without saying the truth .

[Holly]

MJ, there is a reason you are feeling so conflicted. You know, deep in your heart, that by not being honest with this young soldier, you are both cheating yourselves. MJ, may I be blunt? You are acting in a very selfish manner. You are willing to risk damaging this young man's feelings to bolster your own ego. What's to say he would not have enjoyed talking to you had he known the truth from the start. Now you have built quite a obstacle to overcome. I wish you both peace.

[Kieron Andrew]

MJ, whats the likelihood of you ever meeting this guy?, if there is a chance of that happening then you have to be honest with him, if there is a likelihood of things developing between you then you have to tell him sooner rather than later, hes fighting a war out there, there no telling what this could do to his brain if he found out at a later date rather than earlier.......be fair to him and to yourself!, you want him to like you for the whole of you, not some image he has painted in his mind

[rose382832]

the soldier in question is probably 19 and scared . any freind is welcome and gives him a reason to carry on and not just stand up and get shot by the ? tell him that there is no way you will ever get together but carry on the freindship. it is very important that he knows that he has freinds outside.there is nothing worse than a dear john letter( regardless of how it is worded). they have killed more soldiers than any other thing ever.when a soldier gets one he gives up hope and then drags his buddies into situations that no one else would go into. let him know that you are his freind but that there is no chance that you will ever meet. then keep up the freindship. friends are the most important thing when you are deployed.when he comes home then you can tell him but not while he is in a battle zone

[MJ]

thank you all .. i will send him an e-mail and tell all... i can't understand why he has not seen my blog or my 360 .. its all there i hide nothing .. oh well for a bref moment in time he made me feel wonderful and was worth every second of it ...we just met so it's not like i lead him on and i have not lie'd to him and hey if he need a friend to talk to or vent i am here

i can't send him an e-mail ..so i have to tell him when he comes on im ....

[rose382832]

don't
ive been there and it is better to come home and be dissapointed than to find out while over there

[Kieron Andrew]

thank you all .. i will send him an e-mail and tell all... i can't understand why he has not seen my blog or my 360 .. its all there i hide nothing .. oh well for a bref moment in time he made me feel wonderful and was worth every second of it ...
he still might treat you good....if he HAS seen your 360 or blog maybe he already knows but its not an issue to him to have raised the subject, you never know til you approach the subject

[Sherlyn]

Mj I just wanna say something that gives no opinion to your situation ...Ok ..are you even sure ..that this guy is really a soldier ..has he given you any personal info about WHO he is ...if so ..ignore me ...BUT.. if not .. perhaps you should not give any info about yourself ...be internet wary k?

[spaceycasey GG]

MJ I agree with Rose to a certain extent. Be careful hon. because he is probably pretty fragile at this point in his life.:hugs:

[MJ]

sher could be right so i will cool my jets for now and see were it goes i have my blog and my 360 it's all there . if he is not smart enough to look then if and when he finds out i will say i thought you knew and deal with it then now i feel relay stupid for saying anything

[KellyCD]

Just let him see you blog, I've already had to break a few hearts out here anyway- trust me if he'll be fine.

This is all really sensitive stuff here, most of the guys I know are EXTREMELY homophobic and uneducated in this field. I know a guy that is so homophobic he quit smoking because he found out that the British sometimes call a cigarette a "fag". His "friends" said he was "sucking a fag"-he quit that very day.:straightface:

[Rachel Morley]

.. and he wants pictures boy am i in trouble..
so i know what i should do?
To me, this is only flirting. Send him your avatar picture, you look really cute in that :D

[SarahLynn]

MJ do not under any circumstances let this person know where you live or how. Ie.; job or job location. I will warn you again you could get really hurt phyically. Maybe even made dead if he freaks over the idea he's "friends" with a dresser. Or a girl who was a guy but now has moved on in his/her life. I am not saying he will but I can not stress enough to you how easy it would be for him if he has any actual combat experience. He will justify it in his mind and when the authorties pick him up he will simply say, (words to this effect) "HE/SHE asked for it." I am not saying he will, but for both of you it's best and better if you can let him go gently.

To that end let him know as soon as possible that this friendship is only for the time he is overseas. That it can not continue/advance once he returns home. :sorry: You might even suggest that an old friend from school has reentered your life and you are going to pursue this avenue one more time. That will be easy for him to understand because i'm sure there is an old flame in his he'd like to rekindle.

I give you many :hugs::hugs::hugs: for starting this friendship, even if it is somewhat selfish, because the troops need all the friends they can get right now. I know and you do too that the media is not portraying this "war" in it's best light and the troops know it too. But we must do all we can to keep their spirits up. It would have been better if it had never started but now it's too late. So keep it platonic and always refer to a later time when he suggests a meeting.

SarahLynn

[TG-Taru]

I'd agree it's best to make it perfectly clear, in a friendly way, he has no "chance" with you, but can continue to be penpals. And not tell. As long as talking is all he's going to get it's more important what you have been and are inside than how the outside has changed. If he asks specifically or finds out (remembering he has not been lead on), he should understand, eventually at least, if he's worth keeping in contact with. Just in case, wouldn't give too much personal information.


I know a guy that is so homophobic he quit smoking because he found out that the British sometimes call a cigarette a "fag". His "friends" said he was "sucking a fag"-he quit that very day.:straightface:

Hehe, so homophobia is good for your health? :D

...just too bad it might not be good for other people's health.. :sad:

[Caroline]

Seems to me that there's absolutely no reason why you two should ever meet. Even if he suggests it, you can always find a reason for not doing so. Similarly, you can always ensure that neither you nor he become too emotionally involved by keeping it light and not discussing deep emotional things that lead to further involvement. Under those circumstances, there is no reason why you should ever need to come out and tell him that you are a TS.

Remember too that it takes a man with rather unique qualities to accept a TS as his girlfriend, and that even if he could accept you for what you are, if his mates in the forces found out about your real self, he would face a terrible ribbing, or worse, which would make his acceptance of you even harder to endure.

Frankly, my advice would be to cool the whole thing down considerably - for your sake and his.

I am also concerned that the situation might turn out to be really bad for you.

Whatever you do, take care.

[Chantelle CD]

Maybe he seen your blog and 360 and knows everything :eek:

Ummm whats a 360 ??? hehe

[Rita B]

I have to agree with Jacqui on this one!:(

Rita

[VeronicaKate]

MJ,

I am a Soldier in Iraq, and I have Soldiers that are under neath me. I know their feeling and how they react to news. Soldiers need contact from the outside world, we need to have that little normalcy from others to keep on going. Do NOT tell him you are a TS, Keep things as they are, he does not need the baggage right now. When he gets home you can test the waters, he might even like that you are a TS, hell Im a CD. Just dont test the waters while he is down there. I see Dear john letters all the time, and the Soldiers are messed up for a while. As I see it once he is home, if you choose to test him out, he is not in harms way, he does not have a gun that he can end his life. I would just drop some hints when he gets back on U.S. soil to see if he is in to it, if he is not, then your distance is enough to break it off, with out him knowing who you are. He will have an easy time bouncing back with his buddies.

Sorry if this blunt or seems harsh or rude, and I do believe the sooner is better route, but his buddies are counting on him to have his head in the game to stay alive. Good Luck

If you have any other question please PM me

[Kieron Andrew]

Maybe he seen your blog and 360 and knows everything :eek:

Ummm whats a 360 ??? hehe
http://uk.360.yahoo.com/login.html?.done=http%3A%2F%2Fuk.360.yahoo.com%2F&.src=360 - 360

[CD Tammy]

Just remember, when he does find out that he is armed and well trained. Enough said?

[VeronicaKate]

Please,

I would just like to say, I have been through two tours in Iraq, and have seen things, endured events that no one should. But I am disturbed by some of the post here. Soldiers are still humans, we are not crazed, lunatic TS killers. Would I tell them about myself, no becuase I have a job to perform and this is my private life, and I like my job. I know of one Soldier that was devestated becuase he met a girl and she was a TS, yes the guys gave him a hard time, mostly becuase they had sex (post op), but the kid did not know. He got over it and they luagh about it. But I must have missed the part when they formed the TS lynch mob, I am sorry for all those that see us Soldiers as dangerous, crazy, criminals.

[Pink Person]

Originally Posted by Jacqui
MJ, I have to be honest with you and I hope I don't offend....but since he believes he's corresponding with a woman, there's a strong chance he may be devastated to find out otherwise. If I were you, I would try to find a way to end this amicably without letting him know the truth. I can't imagine anything worse than being depressed about a relationship when you're trying to stay alive each day in Iraq.

I think you know, based on reading your posts, that the right thing to do is to start and continue relationships with those who know the truth up front.

That's just my

Good luck,
Jacqui

I strongly agree with Jacqui. Find a way to very politely and positively end it without telling him. I understand your feelings, but frankly I think that you are being too selfish and too careless with the feelings of other people.

Pink

[Emily Ann Brown]

MJ hun.........I once had a young man contact me. He made me feel beautiful. He was witty and sweet and never mentioned sex. I finally felt guilty enough to mention that since he obviously had not read my 360 page I should bring up the fact that I was TG. To my surprise he told me he HAD read my 360, and felt I was a sweet and special lady who could use a friend who treated me like the woman I was. He has given me some of the best conversations in my life and I would hug him for an hour if he were here right now...can't though, he's halfway around the world in a hell hole.

Be your guy's FRIEND......stay away from romance and such. Don't lead him on. He may need you more than you need him. If he asks things be honest.


Emily Ann

[MsJanessa]

mood = confused

Well i met this guy on line and we are having a great time talking joking around and you know these army boys :heehee: .. and for the first time in my life i am having a wonderful fun time with him but he does not know i am a ts :eek:.. and for the first time in my life he makes me feel like a woman :D and i love it .no man has talked to me like this . the problem is i have to tell him .. but i don't want too
because i don't want this to end .. and i fear it will :(.. it breaks my heart when people find out and then treat me different i don't want that .. and he wants pictures boy am i in trouble..
so i know what i should do .........but i love the interaction we have and don't want to lose it .. on one hand i love being me a woman .. on the other hand losing this friendship because I'm a ts sucks and hurts
he is a great guy in Iraq can't say anymore but god i wish i were fixed :D

so do i tell or not !!! . and enjoy the frill of being treated as a gg you don't know much this hurts

well from what I can see of your pics darling you could send them to him and he wouldn't be able to tell---the problem becomes what happens if and when you actually meet---if you are going to go "all the way" with this person then you need to make a decision---I'm assuming you're post op so you might be able to get away with not telling him---this may be ok if all it is is a casual one night stand type of thing---but you don't seem like that type of girl so I'm assuming that you are looking for an ltr then you should level with him asap about who and what you are---if he accepts it then fine and if not then fine too, go get another guy, with your looks that shouldn't be a problem for you . What will be a problem is if you don't disclose your TS status to him and you continue in a ltr. He will evenutually discover that you are a TS and then there will be hell to pay---much better now than later---good luck If you are not post op but pre or nonop you should tell him before it gets physical because once you undress he is going to know.

[RobertaFermina]

If you leave no trace of your actual identity and NEVER will, so what. NEVER means even if your heart begins to ache because....well...just because.

If you have a desire to reveal yourself and create a real relationship (or have already taken steps?) then ....consider, how would you feel if he were not who he said he was, suppose the most substantial or comforting quality he projected was fundamentally false?

...suppose he WAS openminded enough to continue to accept you since he 'sees' into your soul and can live with your transition....would he TRUST you if you were not honest when the time to be honest came?

In Love and Service,

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[MJ]

I would just like to say, I have been through two tours in Iraq, and have seen things, endured events that no one should. But I am disturbed by some of the post here. Soldiers are still humans, we are not crazed, lunatic TS killers. <snip>

Veronica thank you


MJ hun.........I once had a young man contact me. He made me feel beautiful. He was witty and sweet and never mentioned sex.<snip>.

must be the same guy .. so i will take it slow and see what happens

[Kate Simmons]

Soldiers need to know that what they are fighting for means something. I know I was always thrilled to receive letters from home and friends. This young man needs a friend right now who knows that his efforts are appreciated. I think if you take things slow, it will be okay.:happy:

[rose382832]

thank you from all the soldiers who are deployed anywhere. please dont make our life any harder than it is. we would rather come home to an empty house than know that we are being left while we are away.sometimes the suprise is better than the truth. the truth can hurt but it can also kill freinds cause our mind is not on our job here , wicth is staying alive, if we can't concentrate on our job our freinds die. better not to know. hugs love and kisses. please im me if you feel lonely or want to talk.:hugs:

[LindaTS]

It's not fair to jerk people around and mislead them because we get some enjoyment out of it. I personally think it's wrong to try to convince other people that we are women, that's meddling with peoples feelings, big time. He's probably going to find out sooner or later that you are really a guy and when he does, he's gonna be pretty mad, I'm sure. The longer you wait, the more upset he is going to be. I think this is treading on dangerous ground.

Jill, you have to realize that there are more than just a few of us here who are women. Maybe not in the eyes of the law yet but we were born this way. Some of us will complete the journey and some, like me, who are non-ops for different reasons, will not go any futher.

MJ, I know this is a tricky subject. I for one always try to make sure everyone I meet knows for sure just who they are dealing with. I'm not sure how long you should wait to tell him but I do know that you need to do so soon. Good luck hon. You're one of the girls here who I really respect.

[Wendy me]

my thoughts ??? tell him your not who he thinks you are give him a link to your 360 page ..... then offer to be Friends if he still wants ..... there plenty of people out on the web you can have fun with this soldier is not some one to string along ......

[StephanieH]

:2c: For what it's worth, I wouldn't tell him anything but I would break the relationship off. Better for him to think he's being dumped by the girl he thought he was talking to and let him move on to find someone else before he comes back home. If he's found you on the internet, he can likely find someone else - why waste his time or yours on a relationship that cannot hope to succeed? Any relationship built on deception hasn't a chance.

And regarding one of your earlier posts where you state you're a "ts" and "never was a guy" I'm a bit confused. Do be blunt here, and not wanting to offend, does that mean you don't have the "equipment" shall we say, and never did? Just thought that was a bit puzzling.

Be tactful, but in my opinion, let him go and move on to someone who knows who you are if you want a meaningful relationship. :hugs:

Take care! :happy:

[SarahLynn]

Please,

I would just like to say, I have been through two tours in Iraq, and have seen things, endured events that no one should. But I am disturbed by some of the post here. Soldiers are still humans, we are not crazed, lunatic TS killers. Would I tell them about myself, no becuase I have a job to perform and this is my private life, and I like my job. I know of one Soldier that was devestated becuase he met a girl and she was a TS, yes the guys gave him a hard time, mostly becuase they had sex (post op), but the kid did not know. He got over it and they luagh about it. But I must have missed the part when they formed the TS lynch mob, I am sorry for all those that see us Soldiers as dangerous, crazy, criminals.



Quite true. And i am not suggesting you are, but one must look at all realities in a situation like this. There is the real danger to their lives that can best be avoided by some common sense rules.

#1 Don't lead him on. NO matter how good he makes one feel emotionaly, there is a chance for serious harm to mental and phyical health.

#2 Don't quit being a friend but do reveal one's true self.

#3 Read and respond to your friend, to both #1 and #2

SarahLynn

[diane59]

Tell him now! If he is sincere about his friendship, it could only help.

[Cai]

And regarding one of your earlier posts where you state you're a "ts" and "never was a guy" I'm a bit confused. Do be blunt here, and not wanting to offend, does that mean you don't have the "equipment" shall we say, and never did? Just thought that was a bit puzzling.


(MJ, I hope you don't mind if I field this one.)

When MJ says she's TS and never was a man, it means she was born a woman in a man's body. She has (or had, if post-op) guy's "equipment" but mentally, she's as female as a GG. Make sense now?

[MJ]

And regarding one of your earlier posts where you state you're a "ts" and "never was a guy" I'm a bit confused. Do be blunt here, and not wanting to offend, does that mean you don't have the "equipment" shall we say, and never did? Just thought that was a bit puzzling.

hi Randi

just for the record here i always felt that i should have been born a woman from my childhood days from age 5 ... so i never did believe i was a guy ... yes i have male body parts but i was never a guy after years of seeing many shrinks i got my letter for srs .. and will be glad to see the "bits" gone forever and live as my true-self . the sad part of all this is i will always have to tell close friends or guys my history it's not fair but it's the right thing to do

good news everyone he knows all about me :D while i was out i got a message and he knows all ...and still wants to be friends with me so when he comes on line tonight we shall have a interesting conversation and he as a CD friend too... so i am happy he know and it seems i have made another friend Emily was right thanks Hun ... and yes i could be young enough to be his mother .. but just being friends is good enough for me..
and there i was getting upset over nothing ... see what fear does to you ?

[Kieron Andrew]

good news everyone he knows all about me :D while i was out i got a message and he knows all ...and still wants to be friends with me so when he comes on line tonight we shall have a interesting conversation and he as a CD friend too... so i am happy he know and it seems i have made another friend Emily was right thanks Hun ... and yes i could be young enough to be his mother .. but just being friends is good enough for me...
and there i was getting upset over nothing ... see what fear does to you?
there you go! puts your faith back in humanity doesnt it? that there are some people out there that just see us as people, he just wants friends, hes probably lonely, homesick and just wants a friend to talk to......

[SarahLynn]

Let me be the first to say i am so glad this it a non issue. :thumbsup::thumbsup::D:D:D


SarahLynn

[Kieron Andrew]

Let me be the first to say i am so glad this it a non issue. :thumbsup::thumbsup::D:D:D


SarahLynn
not quite the first :tongueout lol

[vbcdgrl]

MJ, I think you should find some way to end the on line acquintance without telling him you're a TS. It's unlikely the soldier will accept you as a TS, and dragging this relationship out is not fair to him.

Vikki

[Tamara Croft]

MJ, I think you should find some way to end the on line acquintance without telling him you're a TS. It's unlikely the soldier will accept you as a TS, and dragging this relationship out is not fair to him.

VikkiI think you should try reading this: -

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showpost.php?p=891031&postcount=48

[diane59]

Good for you MJ, I think you found a TRUE friend!

[Sharon]

Very cool, MJ!! He not only knows, but doesn't care!! :happy:

Now then -- go for it! :p

[kerrianna]

I'm happy for you MJ that you can carry on this friendship without feeling guilty.

He obviously likes you as a person and a friend and let's face it, you are an attractive woman. :happy:

I'm glad you came here with your problem because it does raise for the rest of us the issue of honesty online. I know IDing one way and being physically another creates a moral dilemma when making online friends, because online you can present as your true self, but you know there's a RL complication.

I'm glad your soldier boy is cool with that. Some people actually 'get it'. :happy: :hugs:

And who cares if you're old enough to be his mother?

Go get 'im cougar! :D :yippee:

[MJ]

thank you all. now i just have to make sure he is in the us army and over in Iraq .. the best way thanks to Veronica Kate is to send him a care package so i need an address and if Veronica can validate it's true then i will send him a package he he , sneaky little devils ant we :heehee: and the fun will begin what to put in the care package
he had CD friends ?

my Mommy use to say show me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are :eek:

say no more

[Kieron Andrew]

thank you all. now i just have to make sure he is in the us army and over in Iraq .. the best way thanks to Veronica Kate is to send him a care package so i need an address and if Veronica can validate it's true then i will send him a package he he , sneaky little devils ant we :heehee: and the fun will begin what to put in the care package
he had CD friends ?

my Mommy use to say show me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are :eek:

say no more
mj..... care packages ideas

http://www.cafepress.com/lovethetroops/491788

http://www.geocities.com/militarycarepackage/ - click on the hearts for ideas

http://www.operationmilitarypride.org/packages.html - restrictions

http://www.brandonblog.com/A_Soldiers_Blog_Care_Packages.html - list of ideas

that first link is really good

[MJ]

wow Kieron you truly are a gold mine of information thank you

[Holly]

MJ, I'm really happy for you. It just proves that honesty IS the best policy. Now you have absolute certainty that this young soldier like YOU for who you are. That has got to be the best feeling!

[ShortSkirt]

so do i tell or not !!! .

I normally make that clear in the first 2 or 3 minutes of an online chat with....anyone, and I think you should to.

[Pink Person]

Hi MJ,

I am glad that he knows and is not upset but that doesn't excuse your willingness to deceive a soldier in a war-zone (or someone you believed to be a soldier). The potential for causing unnecessary (and dangerous) emotional harm to him in the scenario you described was high, and it was wrong for you to risk it. I would urge you not to do it again and hope you won't. There are plenty of unsuspecting civilians that you can fool for much lower stakes if you must. I'm sorry but I just don't agree that what you did was right.

Pink

[MJ]

hi pink
just for the record here he found me... and he knew i was a ts he did not say anything to me during our first contact .. and as this web site is for help and support i wanted help and advice .... its OK for our sisters to ask about there girlfriends ... but when i need help with a guy friend i get flack ? ... my 360 is very clear and Evan has me as my old self in drab i have nothing to hide it's all there .. we had a chat he is OK with me ... and a gentleman .. and we shall see were this goes .. we may never meet and thats fine he just wants to talk and i told him i am here for him ...

i don't feel that i should scream from the mountain top i am a transsexual every time i meet someone ... have some compassion for what we go through it one thing to play dress up but in the real world you got to live and pass as a woman or die

[Tamara Croft]

Hi MJ,

I am glad that he knows and is not upset but that doesn't excuse your willingness to deceive a soldier in a war-zone (or someone you believed to be a soldier). The potential for causing unnecessary (and dangerous) emotional harm to him in the scenario you described was high, and it was wrong for you to risk it. I would urge you not to do it again and hope you won't. There are plenty of unsuspecting civilians that you can fool for much lower stakes if you must. I'm sorry but I just don't agree that what you did was right.

PinkSorry, but what has him being a soldier got to do with anything? I think your post is a huge over reaction. MJ did nothing wrong at all, the guy already knew she was a TS, he just never mentioned it, the same could be said about him couldn't it? You can get off your high horse now, before you fall off it!!!!

[Pink Person]

Hi Tamara and MJ,

Pardon me, but MJ's original post indicates that she believed that the man didn't know she was TS and that she didn't want to tell him. The fact that everything worked out for her doesn't excuse her willingness to not be honest with him. If you want support for her behavior then you won't get it from me. I gave advice that was similar to what was offered by other people.

I am willing to concede that it doesn't matter whether the man is a soldier or not when it comes to the question of whether someone who doesn't know the truth should be told (although several other posts don't agree with your perspective on this point). No man should be led to believe or let to believe that a TS woman is not a TS woman. I stand by my response.

Pink

[TG-Taru]

Pink,

the point many of were making is,
as long as it doesn't matter and it's clear it's not going to either (never going to get together, dream of having non-adopted kids together etc.) it doesn't matter if a woman is a TS woman or a GG woman. We're still talking of women, whatever genetics they have or original body they had, different from men who crossdress. They aren't lying about being women. A TS will likely be somewhat different from average GG, but mostly well within natural variance of GGs. Medical history or completeness of body functions not being of importance, in this situation, there is no reason to have to bring it up. If the situation changes and it becomes relevant, then it's time to tell.

It's the same difference as being friends with a woman who has had hysterectomy or planning a family rogether. For being friends it just doesn't matter, and she has no obligation to tell. Whatever it is you're keeping to yourself and not telling, as long as it won't affect the other, it's your rightful choice to decide whether to tell or not.

[Pink Person]

This post is for girls who just want to have fun. On the subject of the carefree hijinks that can ensue when “army boys” become involved with TS women, see the real life story of Barry Winchell and Calpernia Addams as depicted in the lighthearted movie titled Soldier’s Girl. For more comedy relief, on the related subject of how males react to TS women who fool them, see the real life story of Gwen Araujo as depicted in the movie A Girl Like Me: The Gwen Araujo Story. The homosexual panic defense used by the people who killed Gwen is “hilariously” false to everyone but the ones who asserted it. As these stories indicate, we should never overreact to the possibility that men will be emotionally disturbed by TS women who become involved with them under false pretenses or worry about how other people will react to their relationships with TS women. There is absolutely no evidence that anything bad will come from the harmless pursuit of our own personal pleasure. I’m sure that everyone involved with the two stories above would agree, especially the dead ones (if only they could talk).

Obtuse readers of this post should ask a friend to help them identify the irony that I am using to make a point that should be obvious to all of us. We should all proceed with honesty, consideration, and caution in our relationships with the opposite sex.

Pink

[MJ]

hi pink
QUOTE :- We should all proceed with honesty, consideration, and caution in our relationships with the opposite sex.

you are so right . but he is a pen pal ..not a lover .. he could be my son so now we are friends he knows and don't care .. i understand what you are saying but the real life test is to live and pass yourself off as a woman ..
now i can't do that if i tell everyone hi i was born a guy .. and if i ever get to date it will be with someone i know well and they know me ... you see The Gwen Araujo Story.
is different you see she had sex with a guy and did not tell him up front and Gwen's ex-girlfriend got Evan and told on Gwen ...now she is dead sad..

and there will come a day when i will not say anything to anyone about my past the past is history i just want to be me whatever little time i have left

[JoAnnDallas]

Last year, I too was contacted by a soilder in Iraq via email. He said he had seen my yahoo profile, saw I was in Dallas, and that he too was CD. We kept up the emails and when he returned, we meet at HEF last year. It was really great to meet him after talking back and forth for about 3 months. He is currently back in Iraq for another tour, but we have not talked since he went back.

[Angie G]

Jecqui has a good point he don't need this kind of distraction wher being shot at :hugs:
Angie

[TracyH]

First off, from the first page, I came to the conclusion that he knew. Contrary to popular belief, stupid people do not do well or last long in the military. I came to the conclusion pretty quickly that he'd checked your profile and already knew, and was open minded enough to not make a big deal about it. I was delighted to find out by the second page that that was the case.

Second, this is exactly what profiles are for. It's pretty much common knowlege these days that you can be anyone you want on the internet, and I can't really sympathize with someone who's "been tricked"

But all in all, these guys and girls really need people to talk to. Life in a war zone is strange, your family panics every time they hear about a roadside bomb going off and eagerly await your next email or phone call, but the most interesting thing you have to tell them is that the chow hall now has chocolate chip muffins. It's really hard to just "bs" because the people who care about you are so worried all the time. It's really emotionally draining because you really do have to calm your family down every time you talk to them.

Another thing is that the first mortar attack brings you to terms with your own mortality pretty quickly. You panic and pray during the first one, or maybe two, but after that, you calmly understand that this could be the one that kills me. After about the 80th, you realize, Life is way too short for this crap, when I get home I'm going to live my life the way I want to. For some of us, that means buying a sailboat. For others it means wearing a dress to the mall. Or even starting an online relationship with a charming TS lady.

[Kieron Andrew]

Jecqui has a good point he don't need this kind of distraction wher being shot at :hugs:
Angie
Hi angie, did you not read mj's recent posts? he knows and is ok with it

[MJ]

i just want you all to know we had a chat i wanted to be sure and he is OK with me and he wanted pictures nothing naked " he said that " i sent him some and all he could say was WOW ... you got it going on " what does that mean " anyway he is kind ask 101 questions about me and we just talk about home the USA and Canada .. it help to have someone to talk to i don't doubt he is in the military anymore and i am proud to say i have a friend in the us army and he respect me for who i am how cool is that

[Sandra]

MJ

All I can say is good for you girl.

[Siobhan Marie]

Marissa, I'm so pleased that you've found a friend who accepts you for who you are. I just hope that I can. :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

:hugs: Anna x

[SarahLynn]

MJ You asked about care packages and as a vet of a former war zone a couple of things which made my time go easier was cookies and some doctored marachino cherries. My mother made and sent to me my favourite cookies and also the cherries. The juice from the cherries was poured out or used for another purpose and the bottle was then filled with red coloured brandy.:eek: Now i can't tell you to do this but i have to tell you when i was back in my hooch it was kind of nice to have a cherry once in a while.:D:D:D

SarahLynn

[KellyCD]

Another thing is that the first mortar attack brings you to terms with your own mortality pretty quickly. You panic and pray during the first one, or maybe two, but after that, you calmly understand that this could be the one that kills me. After about the 80th, you realize, Life is way too short for this crap, when I get home I'm going to live my life the way I want to. For some of us, that means buying a sailboat. For others it means wearing a dress to the mall. Or even starting an online relationship with a charming TS lady.



I ignore them. Yeah the first one I was like "wow, so that was a mortar huh?". But nowadays I sleep right through them.

[JoAnnDallas]

OOOHHHH. Rum cake.......I remember once my sisters made a Rum cake and sent it to me when I was in the USAF. Not only did they have fun making it. (pour some in the cake, pour some in their glasses), but I became everyones best friend in the barracks. LOL

[sobe1ove GG]

MJ:

It's totally awesome that everything worked out! It's great to have a pen pal. I signed up at a pen pal website once and everyone who contacted me was creepy or scammers. I wish I could have a REAL pen pal.

Also, I am somewhat annoyed by some peoples' responses here. Everyone is all, 'don't do that! He's a soldier'! So? So if I'm not a soldier, I can be lied to and it's no big deal? That's pretty messed up. It shouldn't matter whether he's a soldier. Everyone should be treated equally.

Sobe