Trans Dreaming

[CaptLex]

We kind of touched on this in another thread, but I think it deserves its own thread, if enough people want to share. I'd like to know if you have trans-related dreams, and do they help you sort through any issues? I'm mainly interested in the FtM responses, but it's open to everyone.

I'll start:

I recently had a dream that my mom came to visit me (at work, I think) and brought a little girl which she handed to me (toddler size). Someone asked me if the girl was my grand-daughter, and I said, "No, she's mine. I adopted her." I thought a lot about the dream and I think it means that the little girl is me - its the me that my mother sees, and the me that I have to "adopt" or become in her presence. Quite a revelation.

Anybody else wanna share?

[Cai]

I had one last night where I was dressing up to go be in a drag queen show. It was oddly realistic - one part that I remember vividly, I was putting on pantyhose in my bathroom, and it was distinctly my bathroom and my legs. It was interesting, because in my dream, I was me as I am now - FTM pre-op TS, and I was dressing up as a male CD dressing up as a woman.

Probably has to do with my feeling that every time I put on my girl clothes, I can't shake the feeling that I look like a guy in drag.

[Kate Simmons]

Oy--dreams! I've had quite a few profound ones lately with all the dynamics I've been dealing with. Being Sal, being Rich--going somewhat back and forth sometimes. It's keeping me spinning sometimes and keeping up with the meanings and our dreams have special significance to us. It's our minds working on issues (and giving us understanding) even while we are sleeping. Had another one last night with my Son in the mix and that one took a lot out of me. Sounds like you have a good understanding of your's though Lex.:happy:

[Evert]

I've had a really strange one, few weeks ago...

I am walking naked in my classroom (:o) but nobody seems to notice. I run through school to find my clothes. Some people turn their head, whispering "Who is that strange girl?". I find my clothes in the boys toilets, including a fake beard and a packy. When I dressed myself and wanted to leave the toilets my teacher walks in. First saying sorry, cause she is obviously in the wrong bathroom. Then she recognises me and says that she always liked me better when she thought of me as a boy and that seeing me like this no surprise at all. *mumbles.. and then she kisses me.. mumble*


Anyone who thinks s/he knows the meaning of this wacky dream, yell... :straightface:

[Kate Simmons]

Well Ev, I'd say it has something to do with being comfortable with yourself despite what anyone else thinks. It's also nice when folks accept us for who we really are.:happy:

[CaptLex]

Anyone who thinks s/he knows the meaning of this wacky dream, yell... :straightface:
One question first . . . do you have a crush on the teacher? If you do, then it sounds like you'd like the teacher to see you as a boy - and reciprocate your feelings. Or maybe she's someone who you admire. Either way, it sounds like you'd like her to see the real you. :happy:


I had one last night where I was dressing up to go be in a drag queen show. It was oddly realistic - one part that I remember vividly, I was putting on pantyhose in my bathroom, and it was distinctly my bathroom and my legs. It was interesting, because in my dream, I was me as I am now - FTM pre-op TS, and I was dressing up as a male CD dressing up as a woman.

Probably has to do with my feeling that every time I put on my girl clothes, I can't shake the feeling that I look like a guy in drag.
Cai, I think you hit the nail on the head - you figured out your dream well. Of course, the dreamer usually has the best idea of what it means anyway 'cause you know best what's running through your head most of the time. Good one. :thumbsup:


Had another one last night with my Son in the mix and that one took a lot out of me.
I know that feeling, Sal. Sometimes I feel like I must have run a marathon while I was sleeping. :p


Sounds like you have a good understanding of your's though Lex.:happy:
I think I can figure them out most of the time, but most of them are real puzzlers. :heehee:

[Evert]

One question first . . . do you have a crush on the teacher? If you do, then it sounds like you'd like the teacher to see you as a boy - and reciprocate your feelings. Or maybe she's someone who you admire. Either way, it sounds like you'd like her to see the real you. :happy:


Yes I admire her, but don't have a crush. The teacher who talked to me was the teacher I first told about my gender issues (on the school where I am now). I admire her because she always stayed open minded about everything. I really could talk with her and I told her almost everything. It was the first 'friend' I ever had.. :happy:

[pocoyo]

lol wow Cap... how symbolic.

Er yeah I think a couple of trans dreams, but mainly I'm just GM in my dreams (or someone genderless)...

one that stands out as being a "trans" dream... erm... well I'm a little embarrased cos it was a rude dream... but...

I dreamed I was like halfway thru transitioning... and I took this girl that I know out to the back room at work and... laid her down and... ehem. Did something to her. :o

Wow I hope no-one I know irl reads that lol.

[Tristan]

Well I already mentioned my main trans dream I remember but I'll tell it in more detail here I guess.

It started off where I'm on the run being chased by people with guns, big guns, and they are quite literally hunting me I believe. I run into an area that looks a lot like where I grew up some the of the buildings and etc looked familiar. And I almost run right over this little boy. I just know with something inside of me he's also on the run and I need to protect him though I don't recall us exchanging any words. I also remember being afraid to allow him to come with me in case people would think I was kidnapping or something. So we are running together now still being chased by the people chasing me and maybe the ones chasing him too but I never really see who's chasing me. We are deep into almost a jungle now and I know I just have to escape where we are and we'll be safe away from the bad people. Shots are being fired at us at some point and the bullets are whizzing all around us so there's this river. We start swimming in the river to try to get away from the gunshots. I keep the boy in front of me almost under me in the water trying to shelter him from any of the bullets being fired in our direction. Either I'm really lucky in my dream or the people chasing us are a bad aim because neither of us get hit. It seemed like we swam forever until we were in like this huge city and right into a police station. I'm trying to turn the boy over to them trying to keep him safe, but they don't understand. And I know I've done the wrong thing bringing him there so I take him and go and we are back on the run. I don't remember what if anything happened after we ran out of the station.

[CaptLex]

I dreamed I was like halfway thru transitioning... and I took this girl that I know out to the back room at work and... laid her down and... ehem. Did something to her. :o
I think that one speaks for itself, Poc. :happy:


Well I already mentioned my main trans dream I remember but I'll tell it in more detail here I guess.
Thanks for expanding on the details, Trist. My original interpretation still stands (and I think you agree): the little boy is you, you feel persecuted and want to keep that little boy safe. I'm sure you will, hun. :hugs:

[bi_weird]

Hah Poc I love that one :-)
My only trans dream is the one I mentioned a few months ago, where I was at the queer party and everyone was shunning me because I'm trans and bi and Poc was there and gave me a hug. *laughs* Which says more about how I view Poc than anything - I love getting boy hugs 'cause they're just better, and told him so in the dream.

[Felix]

I don't think I have ever had one until last night and at the time I thought I must tell you about it. When I got up this morn I couldn't remember the details except that I was definately a man in the dream. Drat wish I could remember the details xx Felix :hugs:

[Tristan]

I had a very strange trans dream last night. I was at a relatives house and we were getting ready for some function or something like that. I'm in the bathroom and I kept chasing people out of there so I could get ready. And I'm torn between my guy stuff and the not so guy stuff. I have a tie and etc in my bag along with the other ftm stuff but anytime I tell myself I'm going to go ahead and do it. It seemed like someone would interupt me getting ready and I'd have second thoughts and would be panicked they would walk in and see my lower gear. So I'm looking in my bag trying to find a compromise but there is none because when I really look I realize all I have with is guy stuff and I am going to have walk out there as a guy. That's all I really remember is the dilemma of it not what I actually did or what happened.

[CaptLex]

I have a tie and etc in my bag along with the other ftm stuff but anytime I tell myself I'm going to go ahead and do it. It seemed like someone would interupt me getting ready and I'd have second thoughts and would be panicked they would walk in and see my lower gear. So I'm looking in my bag trying to find a compromise but there is none because when I really look I realize all I have with is guy stuff and I am going to have walk out there as a guy.
So . . . people are trying to stop you or hold you back from being a guy (transitioning) and this makes you doubt yourself (or at least hesitate), but all you have is guy stuff (it's what you really are) so you have to go with that. Makes sense to me. Isn't that pretty much your situation? :straightface:

[MJ]

wow the odd things about my dreams is my mum is in them and she as been gone for 15 years now , and i can't remember how i am in my dreams, like i am someone genderless.. not paul or marissa .. but mum seems ok with me i find it odd that i cant see me .. or who i am

[ZenFrost]

All my dreams are extremely weird and most of the time they're nightmares to some extent. I do have trans dreams sometimes. A few weeks ago I dreamed that I was a man, but most of the time I'm gender neutral in my sleep. It's weird though, in my dreams it's like I'm not actually me but some dream version of myself that changes every night. I've given up on trying to intepret them because they make no sense at all. Ever.

[Tristan]

So . . . people are trying to stop you or hold you back from being a guy (transitioning) and this makes you doubt yourself (or at least hesitate), but all you have is guy stuff (it's what you really are) so you have to go with that. Makes sense to me. Isn't that pretty much your situation? :straightface:

Yes, it really is. I feel really trapped lately where I am. I keep teasing Aethen to come and pick me up and haul me away. I don't know that I'll last in ND much longer, probably no where near as long as I originally planned. The mask is getting to hard and too painful and yet I don't feel free to really be who I am here. I think I'd be trading one thing for a whole other realm of fear.

[Ekatcha]

Well I already mentioned my main trans dream I remember but I'll tell it in more detail here I guess.

It started off where I'm on the run being chased by people with guns, big guns, and they are quite literally hunting me I believe. I run into an area that looks a lot like where I grew up some the of the buildings and etc looked familiar.
Suppose this is most similar to my dream. I don't dream much / very often, or more to the point, don't remember them, which is just as well I think. In my dream I was bound to a chair in an old cabin, naked. There were some nasty men holding me, it was dark out... I somehow managed to get free of my bindings, escaped and was running down a trail in the forest. I'd hardly gotten free when they noticed I was missing. I ran for what seemed like ages, with one of them in chase, when I tripped on a tree root. It was all rather serene and in black in white. He caught up to me as I lay on the ground, backing up into the tree that had tripped me. As he came upon me, I looked down and had the feminine body I wasn't born with, and he produced a knife and started to stab me beneath my breasts. At that moment, all I could see was the red pouring from my wounds onto the forest floor and from there I awoke. Few dreams I remember, but that I've never forgot... no clue what it means/meant.

[CaptLex]

wow the odd things about my dreams is my mum is in them and she as been gone for 15 years now , and i can't remember how i am in my dreams, like i am someone genderless.. not paul or marissa .. but mum seems ok with me i find it odd that i cant see me .. or who i am
I think that's great, MJ. It's wonderful that mum is okay with you in your dreams. Some people believe that those that have passed on communicate with us through dreams. Whether that's the case here or not, I think you feel that she accepts you as you are, and that's a wonderful feeling. How could she not? You're such a genuine lady, and a happier one too. :hugs:

[CaptLex]

Few dreams I remember, but that I've never forgot... no clue what it means/meant.
Wow that was an intense one. I'm not sure what it means either, and I wouldn't want to hazard a guess because I don't know anything about you. I've had dreams of being chased, but never caught. Dreams of being caught and stabbed would deeply disturb my psyche, I'm sure. How do those dreams make you feel?

[Evert]

Dreams of being caught and stabbed would deeply disturb my psyche, I'm sure. How do those dreams make you feel?

I've been on the other end of that line, I've had dreams that I was the murderer...

[John]

I surtaly hope my dreams arn't real. If I get to hell (down a big slide) and descover it really is full of swiming pools and kitchen cabinates...

[CaptLex]

I surtaly hope my dreams arn't real. If I get to hell (down a big slide) and descover it really is full of swiming pools and kitchen cabinates...
:lol2: swimming pools? really? I may have to upgrade my reservation. :heehee:


I've been on the other end of that line, I've had dreams that I was the murderer...
Now that could be scary - depending on who or what you were murdering. If it was hatred, bigotry and intolerance, that could be good. More details?


A few weeks ago I dreamed that I was a man, but most of the time I'm gender neutral in my sleep.
So was that a happy dream, Zen? Or maybe being a man that one time made no difference to you?

[happyfish]

I've only had a couple dreams where I was a guy. In most I'm either gender-neutral or female, though I don't remember a lot of my recent dreams. Here's one I had in March:
I'd stayed home that day because I was feeling generally crappy that day, and didn't remember falling asleep. I thought I was still in bed, awake, and having a really hard time moving. It took so much effort just to lift my hand to my face, and even when I managed it I couldn't feel anything. Both my hand and my face were numb. I knew I had some sort of stubble on my chin, but I couldn't feel it.
Then I heard my clock-radio go off. I could hear the dj talking, but I couldn't understand what s/he was saying. With great effort I moved my hand over to my alarm and then I realized that it wasn't going off at all.
"Ok," I thought. "I am having an auditory hallucination."
Then I heard someone in the bathroom.
Now, I lived alone at the time and I knew in my dream that the house should have been empty. The thing that bothered me most, though, was the fact that I didn't know if the sounds I was hearing were real or not. The person came out of the bathroom as I just lay there. Still couldn't move. It was Dad, except it was a sketchy, teeth-missing and comb-over version of him. He came into the room, and then the dream faded.
I had another dream about a year ago about magic and a family secret and stuff, but it's sort of embarrassing, so I'm not going to go into it. Suffice to say I was a boy in part of the dream, and that the part was not actually fun at all for me.

[Cai]

Fish, I've had a dream like that, where I couldn't tell if I was asleep or awake, and I was seeing people that weren't there. A man came into my (locked and bolted) hotel room, hung up his coat in the closet, and then just sort of vanished.
Of course, I'd had an accidental overdose of allergy medication that night (large dose of Benadryl + large dose of what I thought was standard Tylenol and turned out to be Tylenol Allergy Sinus) so I might just have been hallucinating. :heehee:

[Kate Simmons]

No, you're weren't hallucinating Cai, that "man" is watching over you and just wanted to let you know he was there for you.:happy:

[Cai]

No, you're weren't hallucinating Cai, that "man" is watching over you and just wanted to let you know he was there for you.:happy:

Hey, I like that interpretation. Thanks, Sal.

[Evert]

Now that could be scary - depending on who or what you were murdering. If it was hatred, bigotry and intolerance, that could be good. More details?

I killed my teacher (I was 16 that time). I ran into her classroom, screaming and yelling that she had betrayed me (untill now I still don't know why, she had nothing to betray me on) and chased her all the way through the empty classroom. When she tried to flee.. I took a knife out of my jacket and threw it after her. It hitted her in the shoulder. She fell down on the floor. I walked to her, saw she was still alive... pulled the knife out of her... picked her up... she screamed... it was a scream filled with hate and fear. She begged me to stop. I thrusted the knife between her ribs and just left her on the floor to die. When I walk into the hallway I said "It's all over, and there is nothing left".

The week after that dream I could barely sleep. Scared to have such a dream again.

I still can't forget her eyes, looking at me, filled with tears or her screams.

:(

[ZenFrost]

Last night I dreamed I was wearing a packer, which is unusual because I never wear packers. Of course, I also dreamed that I had to suddenly be in a dance performance and the packer was rather awkward in that situation.



So was that a happy dream, Zen? Or maybe being a man that one time made no difference to you?

Well, if the dream was just about me being a guy then it would have been a good dream, but the context kept changing (like my dreams do) and I had to focus on other things... like whales with remote controls. But it wasn't as though I didn't know it was a dream, I always know when I'm dreaming so that kinda takes the fun out of being a guy because I know it isn't real.

[Ekatcha]

Wow that was an intense one. I'm not sure what it means either, and I wouldn't want to hazard a guess because I don't know anything about you. I've had dreams of being chased, but never caught. Dreams of being caught and stabbed would deeply disturb my psyche, I'm sure. How do those dreams make you feel?
I wont hazard a guess either because I've no real idea and not sure I'd want to know. It's been a few years... well, maybe more than a few (time flies) now since I've had that particular dream, but I still remember it in a blur of images (like the old style animations on flip cards). I woke up terrified of that dream. For a while I had a lot of dying type dreams (usually in odd ways, usually as female), but I think that one was tops.

Now, I rarely dream (or that is to say I don't recall them), and for me it's better that way. The last dream I recall I was in a car with people I knew, we were speeding down a mountain road in a blizzard when there was a cave in ahead. The driver skidded to a stop just at the edge, we got all got out, I got on the other side of the sink hole and they did not, and the car was sucked in. Then I awoke.

Being a murderer I think in some ways would be worse for me... At least in death, its a bit more passive. I think being the aggressor would, for me personally, be much more disturbing. Then again, I've been known to utter odd things from time to time: my step mother once said to me "one of these days..." so I finished the Pink Floyd song lyric for her, which the total quote was: one of these days I'm going to cut you into little pieces. Yeah, that went over well. :redface:

[CaptLex]

I killed my teacher (I was 16 that time). I ran into her classroom, screaming and yelling that she had betrayed me (untill now I still don't know why, she had nothing to betray me on)
Did you feel any regret about having told her? Were you scared that maybe you had done the wrong thing, and wished you could take it back?

[Evert]

Did you feel any regret about having told her? Were you scared that maybe you had done the wrong thing, and wished you could take it back?

I might sound very non-english now... but what do you mean? :idontknow:

[CaptLex]

I might sound very non-english now... but what do you mean? :idontknow:
Okay, let me back up . . . I'm making the assumption (which one should never do, of course) that the teacher you killed in your dream is the same teacher you told about your gender issues - the one you said this about:


The teacher who talked to me was the teacher I first told about my gender issues (on the school where I am now). I admire her because she always stayed open minded about everything. I really could talk with her and I told her almost everything.

Maybe it's not, but if it's the same person, then that made me wonder if after you came out to her, you felt any regrets about having done that . . . savvy?

[Evert]

Okay, let me back up . . . I'm making the assumption (which one should never do, of course) that the teacher you killed in your dream is the same teacher you told about your gender issues - the one you said this about:



Maybe it's not, but if it's the same person, then that made me wonder if after you came out to her, you felt any regrets about having done that . . . savvy?

Ah like that :)

Uhmm no. Although I guessed she knew it. And figured it out her self, because I never told her. I liked her, she was friendly to me, more than most teachers were.

[CaptLex]

Ah like that :)

Uhmm no. Although I guessed she knew it. And figured it out her self, because I never told her. I liked her, she was friendly to me, more than most teachers were.
Well, things don't always mean what they look like in dreams, so if you've never felt any hostility or fear toward the teacher you "killed", then it could be you were trying to "stop" something you saw in her or something like that. As always, the actual dreamer has all the clues, and the best the rest of us can do is take a good guess. I hope the dream didn't disturb you too much.

[Kate Simmons]

I have a good guess what it means Evert but would have to verify some details with you first. I'm thinking no actual harm done though, more like a symbolic liberation.:happy:

[Evert]

I have a good guess what it means Evert but would have to verify some details with you first. I'm thinking no actual harm done though, more like a symbolic liberation.:happy:

What do you want to know then? :idontknow:


Had such an strange dream tonight.. I was sitting in the train with a friend and there was an guy constantly watching me. He was checking out which gender I was. Few minutes later he started asking questions. "You are not a real guy, are you?" "What have you done with your breasts?" etc etc. I was feeling quite angry then but my friend kept telling me to relax, cause he was not worth it. On some point something snapped and I stood up, walked to him, took his hand, pressed it against my zipper and said "There, see? Not a real guy. But a better man then you'll ever be".


Right.... :idontknow:

[Kate Simmons]

Wow Evert, I like that dream. It shows me you have the courage to stand up for yourself and know who you are, expecially when dealing with people who don't "get it". You are right, you are more of a man than that guy in your dream will ever be.:thumbsup::happy:

[happyfish]

That's a crazy awesome dream, Evert.
I had one last night where I was running around with my drag king troupe planning our next performance or something. I ran into one of the guys, Niq, while I was wearing nothing but a bra, and felt really embarrassed. Then I noticed that my chest was actually flat and nicely man-shaped. :) Of course, instead of ripping off the bra and celebrating wildly like I should have, I went on to dream about Hamlet and the lady's lingerie section in department stores.

[SecretSandy2002]

I thought I would share a strange thing that happen to me and see if anyone else has every had a similar experience.

Last night, I was dreaming...
I was working for a production company on Broadway in New York City ... not sure what I did for them, but it was something in a support position... like "props" or something... or maybe "make-up"... who knows.... well, anyway

Out of nowhere, the director called me over and told me he wanted to talk to me about a role in his newest upcoming play... The Wizard of Oz. (I've always loved that old movie.)
He was looking for someone to play Dorothy and.... I GOT THE PART..!!
(Somewhere over the rainbow... way up high...)About then, my alarm went off. I woke up and had to get up and go to work...
(Well, Toto... guess we're not in Kansas anymore.)
It was such a strange feeling.... as I realized it had only a dream, (kinda silly I know), but I was still excited and thrilled... but really "bummed" at the same time.

Hope everyone is well.... take care girls,
Sandy
(... and if birds can fly... then why... oh, why... can't I..?)

[Kimberley]

I often have nightmares, too often if the truth be told. (I quit taking the anti-psychotic they prescribed because the side effects were worse than the dreams.)

Anyway, when I awaken I seem to be able to only remember the last wee bit of a dream or the feelings I was experiencing (unless it is an unusually bad dream then the terror is prevalent). I often awaken from my dreams feeling very female. This is usually accompanied by confusion over why others dont see me or they shun me. Sometimes it leaves me very upset for the entire day.

Oh well, just another day in the life...

:hugs:
Kimberley.

[false_dichotomy]

I had a sex dream the other night in which I definitely had a penis. Like, it was mine, no prosthetic, no strap-on, no anything. My penis. The unfortunate bit is that the dream concerned my ex... oh well. I'm satisfied enough with the former that the latter doesnt' bother me as much.

[CaptLex]

I had a sex dream the other night in which I definitely had a penis. Like, it was mine, no prosthetic, no strap-on, no anything. My penis.
Oooh I love those dreams, Neil. Takes me a little while to get used to the reality once I wake up, though. :p

[Felix]

I have been having more dreams lately which are related to trans dreaming xx Felix :hugs:

[John]

Time for the reserection!


I had a sex dream the other night in which I definitely had a penis. Like, it was mine, no prosthetic, no strap-on, no anything. My penis.

I had a dream (fairly) like that last night (no sex though), and when I woke up I wanted to cry. It's not fair :(

[SL]

Oh wow. I had to post something here. A) Because I've done it too. And the first time it happened I was sooooo freaked out that having got past that I would have to let anybody havin it as a first time experience know they are hardly alone. B) Since this is the second place I've heard this, it's even less rare.

In my first "trans dream" I (like false and John) had a "I grew there" penis. But it was "shriveled". More like a beef jerky. And in the dream the thing was me "realizing" and accepting that no matter how "deformed" or different I thought my penis was it was still mine and if that was true then nothing about it could be bad. And so I started to masterbate. Just after having the best orgasm wake or dreaming ( <--:D) my mother walked in (<--:thumbsdn:) and she kept saying "no, I can help you" in this really scary kind of way. And even though I was in my grown up body, when her hands were grabbin me by the shoulders while I was fighting her the skin felt "disgusting" there and like toddler skin. Any way, that was the dream. And it was significant because it illuminated exactly how much my mother did not want me to be masculine, male, or anything that didn't fit what she wanted.

Since then, I had a second one. Like maybe a week ago. In this one very simular except at the end this time she flat out put her hands arounds around my neck and started to choke me, like "I would rather see you dead". And right before she jumped on me my grandmother had been there and tried to stop her. But she pushed her off of her.

Just once, at least in a dream, I would love to kill this bitch before she can get me lol.

Its as if its important in the dreaming.

In rl I talk to her quite often.

[Terri Li]

I dont have the body but...I often dream of become a black guy and i go in to the mall to shop for clothes and i find neat outfits and all hip hop and the clerk looks me up an down an says, "i might like to wear better fitting clothes"
hunh, i ask why?
well we have some cool stuff upstairs, so i go an its the ladys section an i look in the mirror an im a very beautiful black lady and well i really like to try on some tight leather pants and cami top---wow i fill it out well, i then wake up----

[hiro]

This was from a journal entry I posted earlier this month. This was, like, the only dream I've had. And the weird thing was, I didn't feel particularly masculine at the time (as in, the surrounding days.) Hope it's not too graphic. I like to include a lot of detail in journal entries, so I know exactly what I meant.

"I had a dream last night. I had a dream where I had a penis. This is a first, for me. I had never really desired a penis, even though, as I've said multiple times here, I've wanted to be seen as male. It was weird, though. It didn't look so much like a penis as a long protrusion at my crotch from which I could urinate. It didn't have a head. And it is what I think it would feel like... Em, I've never held someone's penis, but I think it felt... not firm enough. It felt like... You ever see those long, colored things with liquid inside, and when you shake them back and forth, they slip out of your hand? It was like that, only slightly firmer. That was the other weird thing. Dreaming about standing, urinating, from this protrusion. I remember feeling, somehow, right that way. The weird thing about it is that having the penis and my boobs felt right. It would seem like it would be one way or the other, not both. I don't know what this is supposed to mean, if anything.

That was the other thing. Since I first started questioning, I couldn't imagine what having a penis would even feel like. But now, I can imagine it, actually, kinda vividly... Again, I don't know what all this means. I don't feel like I have a particular desire for a penis, per se. Rather, I want that feeling of completion I had in the dream, with a penis and breasts."

[CaptLex]

That was the other thing. Since I first started questioning, I couldn't imagine what having a penis would even feel like. But now, I can imagine it, actually, kinda vividly... Again, I don't know what all this means. I don't feel like I have a particular desire for a penis, per se. Rather, I want that feeling of completion I had in the dream, with a penis and breasts."
If I may hazard a guess . . . maybe it means that you like being a bit of both - enjoying the best of both worlds. Maybe? Only you can know that for sure.

I remember the first dream I had like that, I kept thinking it must mean something else and not just that I want one. Eventually I figured out that that's all it meant to me - I just want one. :p

BTW, Hiro, welcome back - long time no see. :happy:

[Kate Simmons]

Hi Hiro, It's possible for a person to feel complete without all the physical parts. In fact, it's downright essential. Everything else simply verifies that.:happy:

[SL]

Ah man! I had the best freakin dream in the world last night. I dunno if this coulda went someplace else, but I thought of this thread off the bat. Yep, it was a "I got a dick" dream. But this one was waaay different from the others. In this one that f*er was between a kielbasa and a summer sausage. I just wanted to share that. :D

I think I did everything in that dream but run into the middle of a public place drop my drawers and command everyone to "behold". Anybody wants to know about the girly I was with in the dream.....well thats a seperate story .

[Tristan]

I had a dream last night about work. I've been binding for almost a couple weeks now full time at work and no one's said anything but I get a lot of "looks" and etc I guess but of course they have the sense not to say anything. Anyway I had a dream where they decided enough was enough and pulled me into a meeting and told me I had to present more feminine at work or I would be terminated, because I was confusing customers about my gender. I was so upset in my dream I think through tears I just walked off the work sight. I guess on one hand I am afraid they are going to call me out on presenting more male at work and yet at the same time I feel way too self conscious to be out and not binding now. I just am so painfully aware of those two lumps that shouldn't be there. Sometimes I wish being trans didn't have to be so scary. I guess I do worry that someone will put the pieces together and figure me out and come after me, and at the same time I'm so desperate to be me I'm taking the risk anyway.

[SL]

I'm taking the risk anyway.

:clap:

[Adam]

i never remember my dreams like never

[Tristan]

So the further I get along with things, the more trans dreams I seem to have but this one I had last night was truly chilling and still gives me goosebumps thinking about.

There was a former coworker of two of my coworkers who stopped by in to see them yesterday and I only met her like a minute and I went to lunch, but for some reason she is the villain so to speak in my dream.

In the dream I'm a teenager again I think, or at least younger then I am now or maybe it just seemed that because I was in full boy mode. Anyway apparently I'm orphaned in the dream and this lady is talking to the people who had taken me in after my parents were gone.

Now warning, what was said by this lady in my dream is highly offensive to trans pple so please if it might be triggery for you, please do not read further.....

She started talking about me to these people like I wasn't there. She kept pointing out all the obvious signs that I was trans. She was so matter of fact about it. Then it just got chilling.

I don't remember her words in their exact content which might be a good thing, but she was talking about how they should have realized a long time ago what I was and I should have been terminated. How it's sad that people allow such diseased things to live. I didn't get the impression that she meant abortion but sometime afterwards when it became clear I was trans that I should have been destroyed. She went on and on about it like I was a sick dog that should be put down. I just remember being unable to speak feeling completely destroyed by her words as she said them.

Most dreams are just whacko and I can let them go, this one though it bothers me a bit.

:sad:

[ZenFrost]

Oh that's horrible Trist. :hugs: