I've calmed down now so.....

[Felix]

Last night I had a conversation with my mother about a recent Christening in the family. We was supposed to go but couldn't afford it. Anyways she (my mum) wanted to send a card for us and I said it was ok we would send one cos I wanted all our names on it and I was skeptical that she would not do that. She doesn't really want ppl to know I am in a gay relationship. She already said she cannot condone our relationship. So we sent the card with all our names, unfortunately it arrived late and she had sent another card but she only put my name and my sons. I was like I sent our card with all our names in as that's how I always do cards. She was like well who did ya expect me to put in. I said all of us.
I was so fed up and tired of fighting the fight for acceptance from those I love last night. So I postponed going to visit for a further couple of weeks cos I don't wanna get into anything with them when I go. Sorry just needed to share xx Felix :hugs::straightface:

[Tamara Croft]

You shouldn't rely on your mum to do anything, do it yourself. If she's not accepting, kinda obvious she wouldn't put yach's (sorry i dunno how to spell it) name on the card. All parents think they know best, they don't.... You need to stop worrying about what she thinks, it doesn't matter, you don't need her blessing. Just get on with your life, write your own cards and be happy ;)

[Kieron Andrew]

You shouldn't rely on your mum to do anything, do it yourself. If she's not accepting, kinda obvious she wouldn't put yach's (sorry i dunno how to spell it) name on the card. All parents think they know best, they don't.... You need to stop worrying about what she thinks, it doesn't matter, you don't need her blessing. Just get on with your life, write your own cards and be happy ;)
i agree with Tamara, you are no longer a child so send your own cards with whatever you want on them, if your mum doesnt like it then tough, you will deal with it when it happens, if the family questions then you will deal with that also, like i said ur an adult......just out of curiousity how long have you and your partner been in a relationship? & how long have you lived away from mum?, stand up for what you believe in and that is the love you share with ur partner and the kids

[kerrianna]

:rasp: to parents who still try to control their children even when they've grown up. I guess you will always be her kid, but that's really disrespectful to you and Yashica.

Good for you for going your own way. If she's going to ignore what's important to you then she's asking to have you do end runs around her.

Sometimes it takes parents a long time to grow up. :rolleyes:

:hugs: :love:

[Felix]

We have been together 6 years Kieron :happy:

Thanx peeps I know ya all right. My parents are not from my generation my mum is 77 and my dad 82 this year. It is hard for them and the old catholic up bringing and all xx Felix :hugs:
ps have lived away from home since I was 18 and i'm 41 now. I guess I try to keep the peace with them being old and cos of all the help they have given me but in itself that is controlling.

[kerrianna]

You're such a good kid Felix.

I'm sure your parents think that too.

Don't feel guilty or mad. Just do what you have to do and keep being yourself. :love:

[Kieron Andrew]

We have been together 6 years Kieron :happy:
then 6 yrs is long enough for your mum to get used to the situation like it or lump it!, to be honest when it comes to kids and their parents a generation thing doesnt count! we accept our kids no matter what! unconditionally, sorry but at 41 years of age you need to stand up to them and get on with your life how you want to and not justify your every move to them....

[Kate Simmons]

Even so, you are a good person Felix and you are showing respect for your parents, even feeling the way they do. I'm damn proud of you, my friend.:hugs:

[Felix]

Thanx Sal yeah I do respect them and although it looks like I'm not standing upto them I have by coming out six years ago and not letting them grind me down over the whole sworded incident (the divorce) Even when they disowned me I didn't turn back and go into the closet again. It's just the little things that niggle, ya know. I'm not ashamed of who I am and never will be even if she can't accept things xx Felix :hugs:

[Dasein9]

Gee, who was ever hurt by getting an extra greeting card? So if your mom wants to put your name on hers, and you send another, so much the better for the recipient, right? :)

You can't control her; she can't control you. Works out great for the people getting all the nice cards.

[Felix]

Yeah but she won't see it that way it's a hard situation Hun xx Felix :hugs:

[Sandra]

Felix it's hard you want to keep the peace but then again you do have your own life and want to do things your way and you was right Yachica's name should have been on the card. The two of you are in a relationship and if your mum can't accept that then it's tough.

[Tamara Croft]

Yeah but she won't see it that way it's a hard situation Hun xx Felix :hugs:How can it be a hard situation? I don't understand?? She's 77 years old, what she going to do? put you over her knee and spank you? I know we are supposed to respect our parents, but it works both ways. She could accept you, she's your mother, but she is being disrespectul to you, I don't care if she was the queen of sheba, love is unconditional!!!

[Felix]

I've just texted my nephew and explained that I sent a card off us all and said who but explained that it arrived late and that my mum wrote another for us. Dunno if the text will reach him but I tried. Thanx Sandra xx Felix :hugs:

[CaptLex]

It's a hard call, Felix. I can see both sides of the situation - you want to stand up for yourself and your partner (as well you should), but parents have this invisible cord that stays attached to us no matter how old we get and how much we mature - and for some of us it feels like that cord is wrapped around our necks. :p So, it's a two-step shuffle of a dance trying to keep the peace in the family while still asserting our independence. I can't give you any real advice 'cause I don't feel I'm qualified, but I just wanted to say I feel for you, man, 'cause I know it's not easy. :hugs:

[Dasein9]

Yeah but she won't see it that way it's a hard situation Hun xx Felix :hugs:

Oh, I didn't mean to belittle your feelings and hope my words didn't come across that way! Just trying to point out that the worst that can happen is not going to hurt anyone.

[Felix]

Don't worry Das Hun ya didn't :hugs:

Lex ya hit the nail on the head really ya seem to get what I'm sayin about my parents. I'm dreading going cos I don't wanna get into anything I just wanna get on with my life as quietly and peacefully as possible xx Felix

[CaptLex]

Lex ya hit the nail on the head really ya seem to get what I'm sayin about my parents.
Could be 'cause my parents are of the same generation as yours (mine are 76 and 80) - even if they're from a different country and culture.

[Emily Ann Brown]

Seems what ya need most hun nobody has yet provided....

:hugs:

Hang in there guy !


Emily Ann

[Felix]

Hi Emily and thanx I appreciate that loads Hun :hugs::hugs::hugs: xx Felix

[ZenFrost]

It's tough when parants can't accept an aspect of our lifestyle. Of all the people in the world, they're often the ones we want acceptance from most so it's really hard when we don't get that.

Try not to think too much about it, instead focus on the people that do accept you (like us ;-)). That's what usually helps me.

[Julie York]

You know when old peope go a bit dotty and deaf?

And people say things that excludes them because they can't hear?




Send YOUR OWN CARD!!!!!!

[pocoyo]

Just skim-read the replies (cos I'm jogging) so, sorry if I missed anything!

Lol why are people telling Felix to send his own card.. erm he DID send his own card :rolleyes:

Sorry to hear about your mum being a little hurtful and unaccepting Felix *hugs* I guess she just doesn't quite understand. Maybe you could have a proper talk with her about how important Yachica is to you and how she is part of your family, and how it hurts when she's not included.

Also I think it's awesome that you are so respectful of your parents' feelings too :D (Just don't forget yours ok?)

*more hugs*

[Felix]

Yes Pocs thanx for that I did send my own that's what this was all about the response to it. Yeah too I do tend to put my feelings second a lot to keep the peace xx Felix :hugs:

[Kate Simmons]

Yes Pocs thanx for that I did send my own that's what this was all about the response to it. Yeah too I do tend to put my feelings second a lot to keep the peace xx Felix :hugs:That's one reason I like you Felix. You are a peaceful man with a lot of integrity who cares about others. That is a real man in my book.:hugs: