Newbie cry for HELP! - misc. questions

[gillianCD]

I'm kindof new to dressing up in more than pantyhose and so I've started researching developing my feminine side on-line. My ultimate fantasy is going out of town where no one knows me and going out in public...but I want to be passable. And I've been wondering about some products I've seen online.

1) I've seen female phermone spray...does this stuff work or is it snake oil?
2) How do I know what dress size to buy at Wal-Mart? I'm 6'1" with an about 42" waist.
3) What about make-up? I've chanced upon an eye-shadow and lipstick I like...but what about base, foundation (are they the same thing?), mascara, blush...
4) How do I know how to pick out a wig that will look right on me?
5) Hair removal...what works best? Is veet better than nair?
6) Anyone look at the breast forms on Castle Supply?

Okay...I know I'm probably asking too many questions but I just don't have anyone in real life to help me! Anyone from St Louis?

Thanks,
Gillian:happy:

[sandra-leigh]

5) Hair removal...what works best? Is veet better than nair?


For most posters who have given an opinion, both have been fairly poor, with neet perhaps being a little better.

I -think- I tried veet, but I'm not sure. (I documented in one of the threads here somewhere; can't be bothered to look it up at 2 am.) If I did try it, it didn't do a thing for me at all except give me chemical burns -- didn't even work for me on test patches on my arm hair. And I have some of the least-corse mens hair around, so it wasn't an issue of my hair being too "manly".

Neet didn't work at all on my face, but did at least partially work on some test patches on my arms.

To present a Fair And Balanced view: some of the gals have reported Neet was working fine for them.

Caution: leaving the gunk on too long, or failing to wait long enough (hours) between applications, can result in some chemical burns that are worse than sunburn: if you over-do it, you will have very visible marks on your face for a few days!

There have been various shaving threads, in which people have talked about the shaving methods that work best for them.

For a number of people, the ultimate answer has been Electrolisis, or Laser Hair Removal. I'm probably a good candidate for Laser: fair skin, darker facial hair, so the laser would get through the skin and find the folicules easily. I ponder it sometimes; my fair skin also gives me a problem with "5 o'clock shadow", where the hair below the skin is visible; no amount of shaving gets the hair underneath the skin.



2) How do I know what dress size to buy at Wal-Mart? I'm 6'1" with an about 42" waist.


That might be size 22. But the way you know what dress size to buy at Wal-Mart is that you try it on at Wal-Mart. Seriously -- a number of the posters here have indicated that the staff at Wal-Mart seldom care what you are trying on. Just don't expect them to be able to discuss styles or what would look good on you!



6) Anyone look at the breast forms on Castle Supply?


The reference there to "Transform Breast Forms" is to the "Transform" brand of breast forms, which are available from quite a number of places. I haven't looked to see whether the prices there are competitive. You can find them on lots of other places by googling for transform breast-forms .

Transform also makes foam breast forms, at a much lower price. If price is an important factor at this point, you may wish to start with foam. Foam will not last as well, and do not have a natural weight and do not have a natural bounce, but they are fine for giving some shape or filling out a bra. I believe I've bought two Transform foam forms, size 8 (or was it 9?) and size 4. The 8 (or was it 9?) really don't fit me properly, and I'm not too happy about the way they sit on me -- big, maybe, but they don't feel realistic. I'm not sure where my size 4's got to; I basically got them so I could wear forms at work under a bodysuit or bandeau and not be detected (bodysuits and bandeaus compress the foam forms, leaving a modest bulge.) The foam forms accumulate dirt noticably (they are white). I ended up not wearing the 4's much.

These days, when I wear a bra and forms at work, I wear my size 7 silicons (D cup), being careful with the timing of wearing them and with the fabric/design of the top so as to conceal them. I wore my 7's nearly all yesterday at work, and all today, but I didn't go out of my office much.

If money is not a particular issue, then silicone forms are amazingly better than foam! Silicone forms give a very satisfying psychological feeling -- not as good as having your own real breasts, I'm sure, but the weight and shape and bounce are lovely. You might not want to take them off!

There is an inexpensive intermediate solution, called PALS . PALS are made out of a different material. Some people who have them like them just fine (especially at the price); others aren't so happy with the bounce/jiggle; others get annoyed by the faint smell (like vanilla apparently.)

[rose382832]

start with a size 22 and measure the important areas to see if they fit. if not go up or down till you find the right size. you should look at tops and skirts instead of dresses cause most guys arn't the right proportions to fit dresses( smaller hips than girls) the bonus is that with two tops and two skirts you have at least 4 outfits where with 2 dresses you have 2 outfits. good luck shopping.

i got my breast forms online thru ebay, good quality silicone, for $25 us, they arrived in less than a week and that was even going thru customs.:hugs:

[Annesah]

I have PALS and like them quite well. The downside is that you must wear them with a bra as there is no adhesive currently available to attach them. They claim to be working on this. I plan on buying some silicone forms in near future as with certain summer tops the bra detracts.

BTW could anyone recommend a silicone form brand. Price is not an issue. Thanks! Annie

[Julogden]

Hi Gillian,

Whew, lots of questions!

Answers:
1) Snake oil:2c:. Everything that I've read about pheromones and humans says that it doesn't work, we don't respond to pheromones the way that some other animals do, so I'd say just go with a traditional scent that you like.

2) There are size charts available from various sources, an example is http://www.womanwithin.com/Help/Help_SizeCharts.aspx
check them to get an idea where to start, but you should try stuff on if possible, but if you don't have the nerve or opportunity to try on things in a store, buy from a place with a good return policy, so that you can return what doesn't fit.

3) Well, makeup lessons would be best, but I'd also suggest buying a decent book (or books) about makeup that explain what the products are intended to do as well as how to use them. Color selection is a bit trickier, best thing is to bite the bullet and go to a department store or cosmetic store where they will help you pick colors that work for you. Or, experiment with "drugstore" brands, less expensive than department store brands.

A few books you might want to check out: Ultimate Makeup & Beauty by Mary Quant, Makeup Makeovers by Robert Jones, Color Me Beautiful by Carole Jackson (for help with colors), and also a photo book, Make-up Techniques for Photography by Cliff and Nancy Hollenbeck.

4) Best way to pick a wig initially is go to a wig store and get help with picking a wig that flatters you, and they can also style it to personalize it for you. Buying wigs on-line or via mail-order is fine once you know what works for you.

5) For a beginner, I'd suggest using hair clippers to cut the hair as short as you can, use a loofah sponge to exfoliate your area to be shaved, followed by a shave with a razor and shave cream, exfoliate gently every couple days after, use a decent skin moisturizer and keep the shaved area clean to avoid bumps. l'd leave the depilatories for later experiments, they're messy, smelly and don't work well for everyone. They can burn you if you're sensitive to them or if you're careless.

6) I don't know, I have no experience with them.

That's my :2c: worth, and worth every penny of that.:happy:

Carol:hugs:

[rose382832]

another source for wigs( cheaper but you get what you pay for) is a costume house. they know that you are buying for yourself and have a wide selection of different styles to chose from. they also are used to people buying them for costumes and have no problem with helping you find the one that suits the costume that you are trying to put together.:2c:

[amasveritas]

3) What about make-up? I've chanced upon an eye-shadow and lipstick I like...but what about base, foundation (are they the same thing?), mascara, blush...


Hiya :)

I'm kind of just a visitor here as I found out that my dad is a crossdresser, but I read this and couldn't help myself - I work in a beauty store and got a training and all that so I figured maybe I could help you with question three :)

First of all I would suggest (like Carol) that you get a good book on make-up :) I myself find Cindy Crawford's book very helpful - I was able to get it at the library but it's also for sale online right here http://www.amazon.com/Cindy-Crawfords-Basic-Face-Crawford/dp/0553062204 It's all very basic but I like it that way because it teaches you all the names and basic necessities and basic facts so you can experiment from there on.

If you want to ask questions about foundation, mascara, blush and such, you can just let me know and I can give you my e-mail address - I'd be happy to help you out :)

[gareb86]

ebay is the best place i've found, they have everything under the sun and sometimes the sun. I'm about the same measurements as you and a 22 feels great, the only thing is i'll drop 50-60 pounds in the summers (the life of a welder) so i have two sets of clothes.

[sandra-leigh]

another source for wigs( cheaper but you get what you pay for) is a costume house.

Closely related: there is a dance-wear place here that sells wigs. Most of the styles they sell are obviously wigs, but they do sell a small selection of styles that would look reasonable to someone who wasn't close up. At the particular store I'm thinking of, unfortunately the realer looking ones tend to be long blond (beloved of drag queens everywhere :) ), or else shorter and black (which works fine with darker complexions but my skin is too fair for black hair to look real.)

[Chrysoprase]

I'm kindof new to dressing up in more than pantyhose and so I've started researching developing my feminine side on-line. My ultimate fantasy is going out of town where no one knows me and going out in public...but I want to be passable. And I've been wondering about some products I've seen online.

Okay...I know I'm probably asking too many questions but I just don't have anyone in real life to help me! Anyone from St Louis?

Thanks,
Gillian:happy:


1: It's mostly snake oil
2: your in the 20W-24W "range" your going to have to buy some stuff that doesn't fit, try it on or use some online fitting charts. www.womanwithin.com has good sizing info. It used to be Lane Bryant so I think their marketing department was noticing alot of male names in the catalog mailing list and CC database ;)
3: I don't wear alot, but the MAC product knowledge book is the best $10-$20 you'll ever spend if you are interested in makup.
4: Your own hair looks the best, moves the best, blows in the wind the best. Is there anyway you can grow it out or style it in a fem way the length it is now?
5: I found veet to be the lesser evil between veet/nair. For me normal veet to take most of the hair off and the sensitive skin version to maintain. Seriously look into an good $50-$70 Epilator. It is so much better then the chemical methods, saves so much money in the log run and after the first few times it is so much faster.
6: The Castle store here only has enhancers. I have PALS and love them. the key to wearing PALs is to measure your chest and buy that size bra, do not add any extra like the charts tell you to add or your breast will sag. PALs can't be glued on so they need a tighter band. Your going spend alot of money on breasts eventualy, so buy good ones now you'll be glad you did.

[gillianCD]

Hiya :)

I'm kind of just a visitor here as I found out that my dad is a crossdresser, but I read this and couldn't help myself - I work in a beauty store and got a training and all that so I figured maybe I could help you with question three :)

If you want to ask questions about...

I'd love to talk to you about make-up!

However, would it be possible to talk to you about your dad? I have a daughter, about 10 years old. So the CD father/child issue is something I think about...of course with her youth she doesn't know (unless my ex has said something). So if it is not too personal I'd love to e-mail with you on that as well, but only if you're ok with it.

Also can you or anyone else help me out on a technical issue? Does it take awhile on this site to get permissions to view other people's profiles and PM them? I would send you my e-mail address, but I can't PM you!

[gillianCD]

Thanks for all the advice!

I have tried Nair twice...and I learned about the chemical burns (ouch!). I've also tried shaving but I have an issue with back hair...and my chest/leg hair is thick. My ADD kicks in and I get tired of sitting in the shower!:heehee: An epilator you say? Didn't think about that...does it hurt?:o

Thanks for the dress info...I'm really nervous about going shopping so what I like about Wal-Mart is that I can put it in the cart in a strange city and self-check-out! I have about two or three reasons to be very discreet!

And thanks for saving me $20+ on the phermone!

I'll be looking on ebay soon as well as PALS.

[rose382832]

once you have 10 postings then you ca view a hole lot more on this site.:hugs:

[SandyR]

I do some on ebay for braest forms and wigs. I like walmart for bra's, hose, etc, but prefer the malls for most cloths. I prefer to shave my legs daily, have my back and chest waxed about every 7 weeks.

Welcome and have fun!

Hugs.

SandyR

[tall sam]

Trial and error will sort your problems out!
I started with a few items that diddnt fit - now I know my fem size!
Being tall is going to be your biggest challange in passing - I am 6'6" and although I can look pretty good when dressed, make-up and all, I have a hard time passing in public.

Regarding breast forms - go for silicone and dont wast time with anything else. Use the sock method and a few cheep bras to find a size that suits you (dont go too big if you are tall - I use a B cup) then place your order!

Good luck and just have fun doing it.

s

[gillianCD]

once you have 10 postings then you ca view a hole lot more on this site.:hugs:

Well then let me get my tenth by asking you a question!:hugs:

What style breast forms do you have/suggest? What is the difference between teardrop and the others (can you tell I checked out ebay?)?

[Kelsy]

Whew Gillian !!!


Are you going to have alot of fun!!! :heehee:

Jennifer

[Cristi]

2) How do I know what dress size to buy at Wal-Mart? I'm 6'1" with an about 42" waist.

I'm 6'1" with a 40" waist and find that I actually fit an 18-20. The only size 22 dresses I've ever tried have been WAY too big.

As others have said, the most difficult part is getting something that fits you on top AND on bottom, since (obviously) dresses are made for women's bodies which are shaped differently than ours. I tend to stay away from things with long sleeves (the arms are never long enough).

If the dress is sleeveless, like a jumper, I can fit into an 18. If I need something with more room for my upper body and shoulders, I tend to need to get a 20 which ends up being a bit too big for my lower body. :(

The other problem at 6'-1" is length. I find that even things that are supposed to be 'ankle length' only come to mid-calf on me since these sizes are tailored more for women's heights of 5' to 5'-8" or so. When shopping, you'd be better off going for something that is a 'tall' (unless you want to show a lot more leg, I guess!)

[gillianCD]

Hey Cristi,

Thanks for the advice...what size do you wear in skirts? 18? I think I may try that to get a more professional look...

[Rachel Morley]

For a total beginner, how about this website:

http://www.tgtoday.com/makeupandfashion/basics_mainframe.html

[Cristi]

Thanks for the advice...what size do you wear in skirts? 18? I think I may try that to get a more professional look...

It is really hard to tell... but 18 for a skirt is a good place to start. In women's clothes, there is something called 'vanity sizing' which means that they are basically trying to play with your head. "Hey, I never fit into a 6 before! I'll have to buy this!"

Between that, and the fact that just about every manufacturer has a different idea about what a size 18 IS, and it gets very interesting trying to find something that fits!

I have a few 18 skirts that are almost too lose... and one in particular that I can ONLY wear when I've dropped a few extra pounds (and even then it is a bit on the tight side).

In short, nothing is a substitute for trying things on. Either in the store, or make the purchase so you can try on at home and return the item if it doesn't fit.

Here is a trick I used to use to try things on in the store: Go to the men's section and pick out a few pairs of pants. Then go to the women's side and get a skirt. Cary the skirt between the pants when entering the changing room, so the attendant can see that you have three items, but can't really see what the middle item IS. It worked for me every time.

[Rita B]

I was driving by today and I noticed a new shop in town. It is a "Unisex Beauty Salon". Not a barbershop or hair stylist. But a "Beauty Salon"

Check your area to see if there are any such places where you live and give them a call. Explain the situation to them and see if they would assist you in selecting the correct foundation, eye makeup, blush, lipstick etc. . . They might even do makeovers. There are also many wig shops who deal with crossdressers all the time and you really need to try one on if this is your first time so they can show you how to put it on and style it etc.

Personally, I would take it step by step. If you can teach yourself how to put on makeup and wig, then the rest of it, like buying clothes and shoes will come easier. When you shop, you may need to check the "women's" sizes or check stores like Lane Bryant or buy online like "JMS"

It can be overwhelming, but if you are patient it will be worth all the efforts. Good luck to you.:hugs:

Rita

[amasveritas]

I'd love to talk to you about make-up!

However, would it be possible to talk to you about your dad? I have a daughter, about 10 years old. So the CD father/child issue is something I think about...of course with her youth she doesn't know (unless my ex has said something). So if it is not too personal I'd love to e-mail with you on that as well, but only if you're ok with it.



That is absolutely okay :) We'll have to wait until I make my tenth post as well, though - and then you can pm me your email address and I'll pm mine back to you!