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View Full Version : Feeling the tension - told a friend



Jill
06-05-2007, 11:05 PM
This post could be long, really long, rediculously long, so I'll try to keep it short, sum it up, the readers digest version.

Some of you might remember many moons ago when I posted about having to move home and live in my parents basement thanks to some professional and financial trouble. Well, me being a crossdresser, this scenario already presents some obvious privacy issues. The house is small and originally I moved in thinking I would be here only for a month or two. That month or two has turned into 9 with future moving plans in the next month or two. Since both of them are old and my dad is a double amputee on his legs, there's not much time in this house where I can have it all to my own and have some privacy to dress up. Last week I was working like a horse because I was working three jobs, I had no free time and almost no private time. Today I knew that I was going to have a chance to dress up, with the folks out of the house and the day off. From the moment I woke up I could feel the strain. I hadn't dressed in awhile and as I waited for the time to come, I started to get anxious and frustrated. I felt tense and upset and extremely impatient. I felt so strained that I was feeling incredibly frustrated with my life and myself. Feeling angry and depressed about my life, like it's a dead end and very lonely. It was very strange.

Once the coast was clear, I couldn't get out of guy clothes and into girl clothes fast enough. Once I was dressed the feelings of strain and frustration started to subside. I realized that today, I needed to dress to regain a sense of normal. I needed to scratch an itch to keep from going crazy. It bothers me that I have to do this in order to feel ok, in order to feel normal and to breath again. I feel like the dressing controls me and I can only put it off for so long before it starts to call to me and break me down until I cave into it. That just bothers me.

Well, with all of this weighing on my mind, I ended up spilling the beans to a female friend, someone that I just know over the internet. She lives about 45 minutes away from here but I just had to talk to someone about it, have a person to turn to about it. She was there and I spilled it to her. I was nervous and anxious, I've done the same thing before in the past and was incredibly scared to do it but she was awesome about it. She thought I was kidding at first and just jerking her around. And of course there were the typical questions, am I gay, do I want to be a woman etc. She asked a lot of good questions and helped me through it. Strange day in all, another battle fought, only one direction to go from here, forward.

Thoughts on any of this from anyone? Thanks in advance for your input.

Holly
06-05-2007, 11:16 PM
Jill, I think it's great that you found someone you could confide in. Your lady friend sounds like she is one terrific gal. Keep your eyes facing forward. You are soon to move; that should help with the lack of privacy issue. Celebrate your acceptance that there is feminine side to you that is always present to help you along the way.

Dixie
06-05-2007, 11:38 PM
It certainly makes it easier when you can talk to someone about it. Good for you.:drink:

Kristen Marie
06-06-2007, 12:01 AM
Jill, if I could not talk to my electrolysist about dressing I would explode. We share shopping treasures and little hints about make-up. She is my therapist of sorts. I know how you feel....

sandra-leigh
06-06-2007, 12:10 AM
Well, with all of this weighing on my mind, I ended up spilling the beans to a female friend, someone that I just know over the internet.

A small clarification, if you don't mind: did you communicate this news to with her by phone, or email, or IM ? Just wondering, as sometimes it's easier to say things electronically -- it's sort of like you aren't really saying it to someone.

gwenrob43
06-06-2007, 12:20 AM
Hi Jill,
Don't feel like to lone ranger. I have gotten irritable when I haven't been able to dress for an extended period of time. I sometimes go to the restroom and put on a pair of panties under my jeans, or wear a pair of my less girly shoes, or some other item(s). I've gone fishing - taken my clothes with me -
changed in the car, etc.

Chantelle CD
06-06-2007, 02:15 AM
I had the exact same thing happen to me, except it was my sister i move in with, and was over 1.5 years, and had 0 chance to dress the whole time, all i could do was dream about it. The feeling of losing Independence, is enough to make anyone lose it, You will get it back and things will be back to normal for you, dont sweat it, work on getting back on yer feet :)

One thing i did, when i couldn't dress for long periods of time, was to just feel my femme self, move around as her when you have brief moments alone, she is inside of you, you dont need the clothing to feel her or let her come to the surface, bring her out with your guy cloths on, works for me :)

Chantelle

Jill
06-06-2007, 11:14 AM
Just to give the requested clarification... I told her and talked to over the instant messenger.

Kate Simmons
06-06-2007, 11:59 AM
The feelings are indeed very powerful Jill. For myself, the clothes were a vehicle to express those feelings and to help me get in touch with my real self. There was one point in time a few years ago when I was totally in the grip of those feelings and I didn't want to hear anything from anybody.
I realized, however, that I cannot allow myself to be controlled this way, no matter how much I like being my femme self.
It took me about four years of constantly working on that to achieve a balance, wherin I controlled the CDing and not vice versa. Today I'm pretty balanced and only CD because I want to not because I have to and it's more or less become the fun part of who I am. I feel very little stress one way or the other but if I were to go too far one way or the other , I would get into trouble.
Am I able to go without it for an extended period? I'll soon find out because my Son is coming back to live with me very soon and needs his Dad right now, so that is what I'll be concentrating on. CDing will take a back seat to everything else. My Son knows about it but doesn't understand it and I'm hoping once we get to know each other once again, he will understand somewhat just as I will better understand his needs.
I hope you will feel better once your situation improves, then you will know what works best for you. I wish you all the best Hon.:happy:

rose382832
06-06-2007, 12:34 PM
if the feeling starts to get out of hand you could try to underdress with just panties and hose to help get you through to the next time out.:hugs:works for a lot of us and no one knows, and we still get to dress.:happy:

Jill
06-06-2007, 01:32 PM
But see, that's kind of the point. I don't want to underdress, I don't want it to control me, I don't want to have to wear panties under my guy clothes to keep the feeling of normal, I want to be in control.