How do I show myself to my SO?

[Amanda Shaft]

About two months ago I told my SO about my cding, she has been pretty cool about it, no big dramas lots of questions that sort of thing. The only thing she did say was that she wasn’t ready to see me dressed although she has been to the shops with me to by a few bits for my wardrobe. Anyway things went a bit quite: she has hardly mentioned it much over the last few weeks until tonight that is. We were talking about dressing and she says she finds it hard to see the point of getting all dressed up then hiding around the house: “what’s the point?” she asked. So I said I’d seen places that cater for Cders where we could go to for a night out. Then she says okay lets do it if you want, I pointed out I would be dressed and she says “well I had better see you before we go anywhere so it’s not such a shock”. Don’t get me wrong this is great but now I’m feeling nervous about showing myself to her. How do you think I should reveal myself to her for the first time?
Yours (in a state of shock) Amanda x

[Emily Ann Brown]

Why not ask her if she would like to watch you get "dressed" ?


Emily Ann

[Carroll]

ask for a good time to get dressed while she is home and just do it. She might laugh at first, but it will be most likely a nervous laugh. Who knows, you might get...un......well...she might really like you dressed:D

[Nigella]

The ice has been broken so just ask if she wants to help you get ready helping you with everything, just to pick something for you to wear or just to surprise her.

Dont be over confident about it, accept any critism that she may have, but most of all enjoy the experience, it could be the start of a whole new chapter in your lives.

Have fun !!

[Sandra]

You could ask her if she would like to help you choose some clothes to wear and perhaps help with the makeup. She may already want to get involved but may not know how to say so, so give her the opportunity.

[uknowhoo]

Well, first off Amanda congrats to you and your SO. I thinks it's grteat that you didn't push and she waited 'til she was ready. I think Sandra's idea of asking her if she wants to help is a good one. One additional suggestion... don't overdo it. My wife has a whole lot easier time seeing me dressed in a more conservative everyday manner. While I'm not suggesting frumpy, I'd definitely say stay away from the mini skirt and 4" heels (at first anyway :heehee:) Good luck, and do let us know how it goes. xoxo Tammi

[Tree GG]

I agree with Emily Ann & Sandra. Asking her to be a part of it is best. 1st time I helped with makeup but was then shooed out while he did the rest. I would preferred to have seen the transformation progress gradually garment, by garment than the "finished product" all at once.

[rose382832]

ask her to lay out the clothing that you should wear and then ask her to help with figuring out how it all goes together. after then ask for help with makeup. you may be able to do all the above, but it will help her feel wanted to do those things for you.

[Sam-antha]

Getting her into the dressing up act as a helper to choose what to wear and advice on how to weear it is a sure fire cert, I would think. With one possible caveat..: does she know the size of your wardrobe ? In other words is it large and will the extent shock her ?
~Samm

[Kerry Owens]

Ask her to join, and plan on a long time so she can ask questions, think and be relaxed. Important, relaxed, so you both can handle the situation without any problems.

[SherriePall]

I'm with the others on this. Let her help you in some way. Let her help coordinate your outfit and/or help with the make-up.

[Denielleinheels]

I agree with above..if you don't ask, she can't say YES

[Sheila]

lots of good advice here, she may just want to help choose, or she may want to help you do the whole thing, whichever have fun:hugs:

[SarahLynn]

The first time i dressed for an SO i did all the do'n and met her in her car. She was at work and i was visiting there. I got giggles and such when she met me in her car, but we kept our cool. Later that evening i showed, modeled, three or four outfits, and she was amazed at how easy it was for me to change my appearance from GM to CDF. What she didn't say was that i would have passed. But i could see in her eyes that i appeared far more femmine than she thought i should.

For that evening i did all the dressing and only allowed her to see me change one time. That was the time i got the comment about how easy it was for me to make the apparent gender change.

The easy part was my hair as it was long enough to pass and i usually had it curled/ bodywave. We were planning to go to a CD party but in the end i couldn't be with her, as the job took me away. When she got home she was completely bummed buy the experience. She said that she was glad i hadn't gone as my attire and demeaner was far better than the most of the gurls at the shindig.

Because of this experience i agree with the rest of the girls here; let her help with the dressing, but only let her choose from your outfits if she knows the extent of your wardrobe. And to that i'll add, do plan to dress appropriate to the weather and the social function. If it's an evening dinner date, don't show up in jeans and a skimpy top, wear attire appropriate to the function. Remember, your a lady :battingeyelashes: not a hooker.:eek: :404:

SarahLynn

[Holly]

Amanda, you've received some excellent advice. All I would add is perhaps having a bottle of her favorite wine and a couple of glasses might add a nice touch. And have a little something nice (read gift) ready to give her. Let her see your femme side is thoughtful.

[Amanda Shaft]

Thanks for the advice girls. My SO has seen my wardrobe already so that bit won’t be a problem and I like your idea of getting her to select the outfit for the occasion. I’m not sure how much she will want to ‘join in’ on the actual dressing but I will invite her so she can be as involved or not as she wishes.

I had thought about cooking a meal for her ‘en femme’, combined it with a few glasses of wine I think it might lubricate the conversation. I’m thinking a sort of girl on girl meal rather than some romantic candle light thing what do you think? How did you show yourself to your SO the first time? How did it go?

Thanks once more for your help,
Love and kisses Amanda x

[Joanne f]

I think the bit at a time is the best way ,to much to soon can be a big shock for some one that has never had to cope with it before.

Joanne

[Chantelle CD]

I totally agree with everyone, ask her to help you get dressed, or watch you as you do so, then it wont be such a big shock to her if you just come around the corner and there you are, have fun with it, include her with it.

[Kelsy]

Matching panties can be a fun way to share the experience:happy:



Jennifer

[RachelDenise]

Ask her how much does she want to be involved with seeing you the first time. If she wants to help, then that's great. Go conservative. A girls' dinner is nice, but I agree that a gift would be lovely.

[Ruth]

Well, my wife is OK with seeing me dressed but she has no wish to see me getting dressed. I think she handles the CDing to some extent by regarding Ruth as a different person, and she would be embarassed to see her undressed just as she would be with a stranger. So check with your SO as to just how closely she wants to be involved.

[EricaCD]

Ahhh... another inquiry from the "Nice Problem To Have Department"! LOL Helene has evidenced zero interest in seeing me in person, though she has seen my photos.

Seriously, that's great. Good for you and I think the advice here is great. Especially the wine part. I don't know that I'd do the cooking en femme thing as part of the plan, just because I'd probably want to be focused on the initial presentation of Erica, rather than dinner. But I'm both a lousy cook and horribly vain :)

Hope it works out well!
Erica

[elnkay]

Ah to have that kind of problem!
I would guess you shoud start with casual attire to ease into the your look.
overdressing could close some roads.....travel gently....she may ask to see more! Ellen.

[Stephenie S]

Well, personally, I don't ask my wife to watch me get dressed or to help me get dressed. I am not three years old, after all, and she is not my mother. I don't watch HER get dressed. So I find myself in the minority here. Now I would advise asking her opinion, and if she has any suggestions, though. That's just polite.

I DO agree, however, with all who say, "take it easy". Try to dress as conservatively as you can. Leave the fishnets and 6" heels in the closet for now. Do your best to dress as one who your wife would choose as her friend.

Good luck, hon. I'm sure you will do fine.

Stephie

[Tiffany Leigh]

As I have noticed....GG's tend to like dressing up their daughters. If your SO is supportive and expressed intrest then ask her to help. I believe women always like playing with their Barbee's! So make it fun!!!!!!!!!

[Amanda Shaft]

We have decided that I will get dressed and cook a meal and my SO will join me for dinner! It'll be strange for both of us but I'm looking forward to it already. I hope I can 'pass' in her eyes, what a step forward that would be. Keep you posted. Amanda x

[Lori SC]

Amanda,

I may be in the minority here, but I don't think your wife will want to see you get dressed, or help the first time.

It's going to be a shock for her, but to see all the undergarments, especially the forms will be too much. My wife doesn't really like to see her "man" with the forms, even today, after sharing numerous hotel rooms. Dressed up as Lori is OK though.

You might "soften" the blow by showing her some pictures first. But again ask her what she prefers.

I do think the wine is a great idea! In fact, have the wine ready, and suggest she have a glass before you make your entrance.

If she takes it real well, then you can show her your wardrobe, and get her opinion... Or maybe she would prefer to see your wardrobe BEFORE she sees you dressed. Again, ask her, and remember, ease into it. The photos and seeing the wardrobe are baby step before the big step of seeing you.

Good luck!

You wil be quite nervous! I know I was.

Hugs, Lori