Olivia
03-03-2005, 10:59 PM
Hi girls! A few weeks ago, I wrote that I was seriously thinking of coming out to my two adult children; my daughter is 25 and my son is 23. I received a lot of encouragement and support here, with the final consensus being that, of course, the final call was up to me. My wife had already given her blessing and she, too, said it would have to be when I was truly ready. Well, I was ready this past Saturday. My daughter, who lives and works in Dallas, was home for her first visit since Christmas. Late Saturday afternoon, she and her brother were both home, it was rather quiet around the place and I'd had a couple stiff screwdrivers to drink(ah, that ol' liquid courage!!); I knew that it was then or never. I asked them both, along with Jackie, my wife, to come with me into our living room. The kids sat on the sofa and I said, as I knelt in front of them, that I had something kinda important to talk about. Talk about being nervous! Geez, I wonder what my heartrate might have been at that moment?
I took a deep breath and said, "since I was 13 years old and living in Australia; for the past 39 years,...I've been a crossdresser." They both just looked at me; my daughter had a bit of a smile, I think she thought at first that it was a joke of some kind. She soon realized that I was dead serious. My son who I suspect already knew, just looked down at his lap. I told them their mother had known since well before we married and that it had not been easy for her, and sometimes still wasn't. I explained that it was a big part of who I am and that it was more and more important to me all the time. I said that as it has become more important to me and a bigger part of my life, that their mother's acceptance had also grown. She nodded her approval. My daughter said that she didn't understand it. I told her that neither did I nor her mother. It was just who I am. It was who I'd always been. That the public face that everyone else knew was not who I really felt like all the time. It didn't change how much I loved them or what kind of father I'd been for them.
I knew I wouldn't be able to get through the whole scene without becoming emotional and, of course, I couldn't. I couldn't stop the tears, as I told them that I was sorry but I felt like they deserved to know the truth about me. We had always placed a premium on honesty in our family; that I felt they had always been very honest with us and that now that they were both adults, it was only right that they know. My daughter got up and came to hug me. We cried together and she told me I had nothing to be sorry about. I kissed them both and told them how much they meant to me. I said that they were both part of me, and so was their mother, and so was Olivia. We talked a bit more about it and I asked if they had any questions. They didn't; I guess that might come later, I don't know for sure. It felt so incredibly good to finally have it out in the open. It seemed so hard to just say it, but looking back, I see how easy it really was. In just a few seconds, this great secret that I had kept for so many years was out. AND, they were alright with it! We had a couple little laughs and the rest of the weekend went along very normally. My daughter and I did leave the house together a couple times before she returned to Dallas Sunday night. Neither of them mentioned it again to me or my wife. Perhaps they were still in shock but I don't really think so. They are fantastic, understanding, open-minded young adults and I was blown away by their acceptance and compassion. I cannot detect any change in either's attitude or mood in the days since.
Girls, I truly feel like a great weight has been lifted from me. I no longer feel I must hide my femme things. I don't intend to flaunt it before them but I also now feel like I don't have to rush and hide every time one of them comes into the house while I'm dressed. Maybe someday they will see me while completely dressed. I am not rushing it. That time will reveal itself just as the coming out did. Maybe it's my imagination but I also seem to sense a different attitude in Jackie since then. I have made friends with another crossdresser through this forum. She lives in central Texas as well and we are making plans to meet in person. I am so excited about that as I have never even met another girl like myself, ever! My wife knows of my plans and has given her blessing as well. I think that she senses that this step is very important to me. Incredibly, I too feel that this has really strengthened our relationship and her trust in me is so reassuring.
I apologize for such a lengthy post. I have been waiting until I had enough time to do justice to the whole experience. I think that the support and encouragement I received here was the catalyst for my breakthrough. And, for that, I am so grateful to you, all my sisters in silk here on the board. Your stories and examples gave me the courage to finally move forward after so many long years in the "dark". Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for bringing me into the light. Bless you one and all, Olivia.
I took a deep breath and said, "since I was 13 years old and living in Australia; for the past 39 years,...I've been a crossdresser." They both just looked at me; my daughter had a bit of a smile, I think she thought at first that it was a joke of some kind. She soon realized that I was dead serious. My son who I suspect already knew, just looked down at his lap. I told them their mother had known since well before we married and that it had not been easy for her, and sometimes still wasn't. I explained that it was a big part of who I am and that it was more and more important to me all the time. I said that as it has become more important to me and a bigger part of my life, that their mother's acceptance had also grown. She nodded her approval. My daughter said that she didn't understand it. I told her that neither did I nor her mother. It was just who I am. It was who I'd always been. That the public face that everyone else knew was not who I really felt like all the time. It didn't change how much I loved them or what kind of father I'd been for them.
I knew I wouldn't be able to get through the whole scene without becoming emotional and, of course, I couldn't. I couldn't stop the tears, as I told them that I was sorry but I felt like they deserved to know the truth about me. We had always placed a premium on honesty in our family; that I felt they had always been very honest with us and that now that they were both adults, it was only right that they know. My daughter got up and came to hug me. We cried together and she told me I had nothing to be sorry about. I kissed them both and told them how much they meant to me. I said that they were both part of me, and so was their mother, and so was Olivia. We talked a bit more about it and I asked if they had any questions. They didn't; I guess that might come later, I don't know for sure. It felt so incredibly good to finally have it out in the open. It seemed so hard to just say it, but looking back, I see how easy it really was. In just a few seconds, this great secret that I had kept for so many years was out. AND, they were alright with it! We had a couple little laughs and the rest of the weekend went along very normally. My daughter and I did leave the house together a couple times before she returned to Dallas Sunday night. Neither of them mentioned it again to me or my wife. Perhaps they were still in shock but I don't really think so. They are fantastic, understanding, open-minded young adults and I was blown away by their acceptance and compassion. I cannot detect any change in either's attitude or mood in the days since.
Girls, I truly feel like a great weight has been lifted from me. I no longer feel I must hide my femme things. I don't intend to flaunt it before them but I also now feel like I don't have to rush and hide every time one of them comes into the house while I'm dressed. Maybe someday they will see me while completely dressed. I am not rushing it. That time will reveal itself just as the coming out did. Maybe it's my imagination but I also seem to sense a different attitude in Jackie since then. I have made friends with another crossdresser through this forum. She lives in central Texas as well and we are making plans to meet in person. I am so excited about that as I have never even met another girl like myself, ever! My wife knows of my plans and has given her blessing as well. I think that she senses that this step is very important to me. Incredibly, I too feel that this has really strengthened our relationship and her trust in me is so reassuring.
I apologize for such a lengthy post. I have been waiting until I had enough time to do justice to the whole experience. I think that the support and encouragement I received here was the catalyst for my breakthrough. And, for that, I am so grateful to you, all my sisters in silk here on the board. Your stories and examples gave me the courage to finally move forward after so many long years in the "dark". Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for bringing me into the light. Bless you one and all, Olivia.