I might be giving dressing up

[bredalee25]

Hi all just wanted to let you know that the possibility of giving my dressing up might be just around the corner. Today at work i found out to my disbelief that another girl i work with likes me and is interested in me. Before you go jumping to conclusions yes she's married to a guy who works with us as well. Now i've known this girl for over a year and a half and her marriege was in troible the whole time she isn't happy with him anymore and just wants to leave him but she can't she has no place to go. I am her friend and will assist her in any way i can knowing how she feels about me won't change that at all. I'm not breaking up a marriege if i pursue this it was dead a long time ago she just stayed there because she had nowhere else to go.

Now i'm really considering not telling her about my dressing as i feel that contributed to my break up with my exgf but thats another story. Who knows this girl might be the one who knocks this out of me forever i'll see if thats so in the next few weeks i'm not jumping into another live relationship i'm gonna do this one right and really get to know her i know her from working with her and she jusr really need a good man in her life. The guy she's married to is a jerk with a hot temper i've seen it at work when things don't go his way. I hope she can knock this out of me as i really think she's cute and have had a crush on her since we met but said nothing nor did anything about it because we were both in relationships then but now i'm single and she might as well be they just sleep under the same roof they're not intimate she told me that and all they do is fight just like my exgf and i did all the time we couldn't agree on anything thet're the same way. Dressing is on hold for now she lives within walking distance and could show up on my doorstep at anytime.

ttfn

[Gina_darling]

Hi Brenda, I'm happy for you. If you can stop then go for it, but I suspect the urge will return. In that case telling her sooner will allow her to decide for herself than to find out later and be hurt by being deceived which is the likely way it will be seen. If she knows from the start then I think she will most likely be accepting even if she want's no part in it. Honesty is more appreciated.

Good luck in what you decide and I hope it goes well between you two whatever you tell her or not tell her.

[Ashley in Virginia]

IMO, dont do a thing with her till she is free and clear. it isnt fair to anyone involved, you included.

In fact, lets go farther,...

In My Opinion, If you think this will work out for anything long term, you are kidding yourself. Seriously. She obviously has some sort of hang up with the guy she is with since she hasn't left him.

Also, You dont poop where you eat. Dating a co worker who's ex works there too, is just plain nuts. You are basicly asking for trouble.

[Teresa Amina]

Sounds like 1987. I worked with a certain somebody who turned out to like me as well and got the same sort of story re the soon-to-be ex. Wasn't true. Be careful! It was quite the roller coaster ride for me- and I hate roller coasters! :2c:

[racquel]

Maybe for awhile but it will return.Tell her before she moves in with you and allow her the opportunity to get to know the feminine side of a male persona.She has possibly had her fill of the macho type of man and maybe that is why their relationship did not work out.You can't go wrong with honesty in mho.

[Breanne]

IMO, dont do a thing with her till she is free and clear. it isnt fair to anyone involved, you included.

In fact, lets go farther,...

In My Opinion, If you think this will work out for anything long term, you are kidding yourself. Seriously. She obviously has some sort of hang up with the guy she is with since she hasn't left him.

Also, You dont poop where you eat. Dating a co worker who's ex works there too, is just plain nuts. You are basicly asking for trouble.

You're right on Ashley. Brenda, please take note!

[Kate Simmons]

You are my friend Bren, but if I'm reading this right, there are just too many "if's", "and's", "but's" and "maybe's" for my comfort level. She is still connected to the husband (for whatever reason), you all work at the same place, he has a hot temper, she likes you (now), you will give up CDing for her. She's found a sympathetic ear with you but my advice is not to get in the middle and let her situation work it's way out first without getting involved. I know it's hard but it has all the earmarks of a "rebound" relationship with potentially unpleasant consequences. I just ask as your friend who cares about you to think it over very carefully as I don't want to see you get hurt again.:straightface:

[Marla S]

Even if she would be free, at least take into account your desire to dress won't vanish. It might become less important or important for a while.
But don't betray yourself and her (in case of a relationship), it could come back.
Maybe she is able to "knock this out of you", but she should at least know that she is able to. That could even bring you closer together, but getting cought while having a "relapse" could do the contrary.

[Julogden]

Who knows this girl might be the one who knocks this out of me forever
Hi Brenda,

Well..........

Hon, I've known a lot of CD's, been one all my life, and I'm 56 now, and in my experience, that isn't how this works, don't fool yourself.

Besides that, be very, very careful in this situation. You're dealing with a married woman who, as you say, has no way out of a bad marriage, that should be setting off LOTS of alarms, flashing lights and bells for you.

I'd say proceed VERY cautiously and don't fool yourself into thinking that you can just will your CD'ing away. It's going to be a factor, probably a major factor, in your life forever, a "'til death do you part" sort of thing, to one degree or another.

I made the same mistake that you're making, thinking that getting married could somehow magically take away the desire to dress, didn't happen for me, or for many other CD's who have made that exact same mistake.

So do yourself a favor, don't be so ready to make trouble for yourself, as well as for the woman that you care for. If her marriage is as bad as you say, support her emotionally, if you can do that as just a friend, and tell her early on that you're a CD if you still consider her a potential partner.

Read and take to heart all the other responses you've received, they're telling you the truth.

Carol:hugs:

[battybattybats]

You need to give her time to get over him before you and she begin. Most rebound relationships end up hurting all involved.

And I doubt that love will change your dressing. Once the oxytocin high has faded enough it will be back I'm sure. For me it was a little less than 6 months.

[bredalee25]

All of your advice is well taken and i'm not in any hurry to be with her when she's ready she knows i'm here for her. Like i said earlier i've known this girl for over a year and a half i've seen the marriage fall apart it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see when someone isn't happy and she hasn't been happy for a long time. We only just expressed how we feel today to one another and we still need to sit down and talk about what she really wants i'm single and free she isn't so she needs to make the hard choice to leave him or not. If she decides she doesn't really want to leave him then so be it i'll still be her friend no matter what happens. I got rushed into my past relationship because she was cheating on her husband with me and got caught so we had to live together before we really got to know one another. I'm not about to make the same mistake twice.

If need be i'll find another job and so will she if we feel thats the way to go i'm willing to make that kind of sacrafice for her i love my current job but if it means being alone and not having her i'll quit and get another job. This isn't gonna happen overnight it's gonna take time and alot of talking it's just hard for her to get away without him tagging along he's like a leach i'm relly praying she will walk over here and we can talk i'll keep ya posted.

ttfn

[Holly]

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=50428

[Teresa Amina]

it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see when someone isn't happy and she hasn't been happy for a long time

I've met some that like being unhappy. Sad but true. Human nature includes some awfully self-destructive behavior.

[O2B Barbara]

HI Brenda,

Hope things work out for you, it will be a bit rough to make it work. If this developes I would definately tell her about the dressing end of things. Be honest and open. You can even tell her yo will TRY to stop for her if that is what is needed. She will need to be open that you may not be able to stop forever.

Best wishs,

[Lori SC]

yes she's married to a guy who works with us as well.

Who knows this girl might be the one who knocks this out of me forever

The guy she's married to is a jerk with a hot temper i've seen it at work when things don't go his way.
ttfn

Brendalee, you're living in a dream world.

Not only do you want to get involved with a married woman, but one that works with you, AND HER HUSBAND DOES TOO. What - are you nuts? :bonk: Not to mention his temper... The biggest cause of shootings, stabbings, etc. is domestic violence. And I think a guy trying to steal a wife might just make you a target...:Punch:

Tread carefully here sister....

Oh, and the dressing might disappear for a while, but a relationship isn't going to make it go away forever. It will be back.

Lori

[Alice B]

You are in a difficult position, but above all you must tell her that you like to cross dress and before she make a final decision about the current marrige she is in. This is very important to be sure that your role in in her relationship are not a rebound event, but based upon true feelings and facts. To not tell her will doom any relationship with her to failure. I wish you luck and hope that both opf you can reach the goal of a true and loving relationship. Remember that honesty is always the best policy.:love:

[Stephenie S]

Breda, dear. Wake up! You are living in la la land. This woman is married to someone else. Don't mess with another man's wife! Morality aside, you have NO way of knowing the truth behind what she is saying. Furthermore, you work with this guy. And he has a temper. Do you have some sort of deathwish? Please, please, wait until this woman is divorced before you start making plans with her for the future. Anything else is foolishness.

And here you are, hoping for a cure. Yeah, right. How likely is THAT to happen? Are you serious? Or just seriously confused. CDing doesn't just "go away". You should know that by now, hon.

I understand that you are lonely. I am sorry. But don't compromise your future on such shaky grounds.

With utmost respect, hon,
Stephenie

[KarenMichelleLuv]

Brenda Lee,

After reading through all your friends posts, I must tell you that they are giving you SAGE advise. The kind that $85.00/hr shrinks lead you to.

From the couch of KarenMichelle,


1) Only date people without current encumbrances...[a husband is a bad one] [[a husband that you work with is a worse one]]

2) Always remember, very seldom do workplace romances work out for both parties! Eventually, someone needs to change their employment option.

3) Even if a workplace romance seems to be working out for both parties! Eventually, someone needs to change their employment option.

4) Changing who you are to yourself [a lovely male who also is a CD], in order to date someone is not in the same category as purchasing new socks to impress your date.

5) Go To 1)

6) Hey you skipped out of the mantra loop....sneaky girl.

So ask yourself, are you really so lonely, that you are willing to throw common sense into the wind on this fantasy?

The girls here seem willing to talk with you and to help you sort those swirling thoughts out. Why not let them help. The price is right. And you're saving $85.00/hr.

Been There / Almost Done That!

[Breanne]

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=50428

Great reference Holly. Either someone has a great imagination or we're being led down the proverbial garden path -- or both.

[KarenMichelleLuv]

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=50428

Holly,

I followed the thread and caught up on Brenda's life at the forum. Did we miss her break-up with her previous girlfriend? How about dating the guy? How did that work out?

I vote for the Garden Path answer...

Alas...jaded in paradise!

[Angie G]

Well in that case go for it and good luck hun :hugs:
Angie

[Samantha B L]

Brenda,you don't know me,but I read your thread and I'm telling you the urge to CD will come back sooner or later.Samantha

[SarahLynn]

Is there a cable car to the other side of the planet? If not invest now in an airplane ticket to Vietnam, or Ozz or New Zeland or anywhere and go. Do not get mixed up between two people who are still married and with whom you have to work every day. You and he, or you and she will be at each other's throat within a month.

About the quitting dressing, that's up to you but don't do it for the relationship cuz that will not likely last.

SarahLynn

[karynspanties]

IMO, dont do a thing with her till she is free and clear. it isnt fair to anyone involved, you included.

In fact, lets go farther,...

In My Opinion, If you think this will work out for anything long term, you are kidding yourself. Seriously. She obviously has some sort of hang up with the guy she is with since she hasn't left him.

Also, You dont poop where you eat. Dating a co worker who's ex works there too, is just plain nuts. You are basicly asking for trouble.

Plus, if you tell her and she freaks or even if she accepts your cd'ing, if thinks go bad in the relationship, she could possibly out you at work. How would you handle that?

[Vicky_Scot]

Just remember this.

You may well stop wearing the clothes but you will always be a crossdresser and by denying this part of who you are can lead to to depression if you cannot express who you really are. After a week or even years, guaranteed at some time in the future you WILL need dresssing back in your life.

If wish you well.

[michellecd_ne]

i have been down this road. it did not work for me. As a CD, with a female roommate that you work with, you better remove all CD clothes, makeup, etc. I mean everything. The gg that lived with me was doing laundry and found a pair of my panties. We almost broke up because she thought i was cheating on her. I finally convinced her that they were a past GG roommates that must have left them behind. be warned, you may be outed to her and co-workers if you dont pruge everything. It can be hard for a CD to find romance, and i wish all CD's luck with finding it. Good luck and procede with caution.

[Michelle04240]

Well, all the good advice has been given already buy I have a thought.

As I'm sure you have seen and probably contibutid to, there are lots of threads about telling someone sooner then later and of course the advice is always sooner. Maybe...just maybe this would work out good for you..if it got to that point as she is still with him...She is now with a hot tempered jerk. She could be (read could) with a great guy that happens to be a CD. Which would you pick? She must know a bit about the person you are, I'd say the whole CD issue would be an easy pill to swallow. I guess for me it makes sense. I don't hit my wife, don't really fight much, I'm not out drinking every night, not into drugs, and I'm not trying to get into another girls panties..I'm just trying to get into a pair of my own.

I'm married and don't see an end in sight. But if I was doing it al over again, I would be upfront and honest from the satrt.

Now slow down on the CDing? might be a good idea. Stop the CDing? Not so good.

:2c: Hope it all works out for you. Good luck.

[bredalee25]

As I sit here and read all the great advice you've given me. I'm thinking alot clearer today and not in a fog of being liked by a girl so that being said i'm in the position of being her friend and will be her friend and help her get through this as a friend. Now when all is said and done and she is divorced and away from the " hot tempered jerk" if she still feels the same way about me then and only then will i be more than her friend. She has some really tough choices to make and as her friend i'm there for her to talk with and hang out with if she just needs a safe haven to go to to get away from him. I'm not ready for a live in relationship right now and i will never tell another person about my dressing it ruined my last relationship so it's off the table and will never be brought up with this girl or any other person willing to be with me sorry but for me honesty just leads to break ups as far as i'm concerned.

Now it seems that Holly has to post a link to remind all of you about my past yes i posted alot of threads on this forum but think what you must when i posted some of those threads i was confussed and mixed up and wasn't thinking clearly. I've only got one life and i deserve to be happy if that means giving up dressing then it's the road i've already taken even before i found out how this girl feels i haven't dressed all this week haven't had the desire to dress i'm alot happeir just being a guy no fuss no muss just get up and through on my clothes and i'm off to go about my buisiness i'm not giving it up for her i'm giving it up for me. Read my post running in the MTF forum "Have you ever just woke up and felt like just being a guy" Lately it's more of that and less of wanting to be fem and dress.

ttfn

[Robin Leigh]

Sorry, bredalee, I haven't read all the posts in this thread yet.

The only way that she could knock this out of you is with brain surgery. :heehee: You may lose the desire for a while, and you may even be able to stop indefinitely, but there will always be that TG element inside, waiting to pop back out.

The husband sounds like a bad person to make an enemy of. Even if he does nothing physically violent to either of you, if he finds out you CD, you will almost certainly be outed by him.

I hope this story has a happy ending,

:hugs:

Robin

[marie354]

First, a relationship with a married woman is a bad thing... If she's going to cut-out on her "ol' man" now, then she will probably cut-out on you later.
I've been there before, twice in fact. It just isn't that easy. (Married women DO kiss & tell. [They tell their husbands.])

Regardless of your previous posts, trying to give up your CDing may work for a little while. It will come back... In the past, I've gone for a week, a month, or more without dressing, especially when I was still trying to keep it hidden, but my desire always came back... Stronger each time until I realized that it was always going to be a part of me.

We are all cross-dressers! Most of us will be doing this for the rest of our lives. A lot of us have accepted that it is a part of who we are. Maybe you should too.
:hugs: