Bad night dressing

[CrossdressinGoth]

Well tonight I went to go for a walk dressed up and I had the worst night ever in a long long long time. I had people driving by staring, pointing, a few laughing. A couple guys yelled "hey faggot nice dress" and others yelled things like "hey, you're a f****ng queer, go suck some ****". This really is hitting me hard tonight. I know Im not entirely passible without a wig yet, but I figured at night it wouldnt be as hard to do, especially with people driving by and the few walking by. I hate hearing those remarks and I hate anyone ever has to hear those things. I, Britney am so heartbroke at this event tonight I cant stop crying. Sorry, just needed to vent this out.

[Chiana]

Illegitimi Non Carborundum.

People are jerks sometimes. I hope the rest of the night is better for you and have a terrific tomorrow.

[Chrysoprase]

Were they people that knew you?

[gmss]

That is terrible that people say those things. :( Sometime the cancerous part of society rears it's ugly head. It's pretty much a given that some people will not understand, some won't want to even try (and that's ok) but unforunately there are those who just have be jerks and a##holes about things like this.

All I can really say for comfort, is that people who says those nasty things are probably not a nice people anyway (not nice to anyone) so really, they don't count for anything.

I think the best you can do is write people like that off, and take comfort in knowing that those kinds of people are relatively few in number. Most people in your travels will support you; those are the ones that count.

Everyone has had a really bad day or two at some point. Have a good sleep and get a fresh start tomorrow. By tomorrow you'll feel better and things will pick up. Treat yourself to something tomorrow and your spirits will improve.

Take care,

[brenya]

I know how you feel, once when I was about sixteen I lost the best friend I had because his mom saw me walking around downtown in a skirt, confronted me, called me an evil sinner and forbayed me from hanging out with her son, I never saw him again after that, thats why if I ever go out again, or should I say, when I do, I want to be in a setting with only or mostly like-minded individuals

[Echo Logical]

...how much that must of hurt.

I am sorry you had to go through that.

Please remember that not all people are like that.

[Andi]

Britney, I'm very sorry for the intolerance and rudeness of humanity. It seems to get worse the older I get. It seems that parents don't teach their children anymore the saying I learned as a child; "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!" Pick yourself up and go on with pride that you aren't at fault and know that your sisters here are supportive of you.

[Andrea Nicole]

Perhaps you should consider modifying your presentation.

[kerrianna]

Hi Britney. Sorry you had to go through that. :hugs: :hugs:

Just remember:

This is a reflection of THEM, not you.

You are being yourself, not hurting anyone. They are reacting out of their own fear. They are scared of anything that is outside what they have been told is okay behaviour (as wrong as that may be, they only know what they have been exposed to). They are scared that their peers may think they condone anything outside the 'norm'. They are scared that they might even want to dress like you and be brave enough to do what you are doing. They are scared that they may in the end be too weak to have your bravery. They are operating out of weakness.

You are operating out of strength.

That is why you were targeted.

It's an unfortunate fact of human behaviour. When you show bravery and independence you will draw resentment and attempts to bring you down.

Good on you for dressing as you liked and going out!

Don't let the baboons in their cages get you down.

They envy your freedom.

You carry on girl. :hugs:
We're with you, every step of the way. :love:

[AshleyLove]

Well put, Kerrianna. Even I envy your freedom

[sandra-leigh]

I had people driving by staring, pointing, a few laughing. A couple guys yelled "hey faggot nice dress" and others yelled things like "hey, you're a f****ng queer, go suck some ****". This really is hitting me hard tonight.

That sounds pretty upsetting, for sure.

From the time I was a teenager until just a couple of years ago, total strangers driving by would yell "Fag!" out their windows at me. I wasn't even into dressing then, not even thinking about it. A fair portion of my life I've had longer than average hair (but seldom much below the shoulder), but it wasn't the hair: I would get the same remarks when walking home during broad daylight from just having my hair cut short (by a good barber), with me wearing jeans and a lumberjack shirt (i.e., not "gay" clothes.) Each time it happened, it was disenheartening and disappointing. I would ask myself, "What is wrong with me, that so many people think I'm a fag within seconds of seeing me?"

At the same time, though, the experience gave me strength, because I knew these people were rushing to stupid and inaccurate judgements: it taught me that the problem was them, not me. They didn't know me, they didn't know what it was like to be me, but they thought they could judge me. So now I don't care {much} what the judgements are of the people who don't know me; even for a lot of people who do know me somewhat, I don't care what they think; if they couldn't be bothered with me before I dressed, then their opinion of me now that I dress is of no importance to me.

There are only a very small number of people in the city I live in now whom I really care whether they would be upset about my dressing: mostly just a few of my neighbours whom have become friends. I think most of them would be accepting of the fact of my crossdressing (though might not feel comfortable if I visited them while presenting as a woman); one of them just might feel quite hurt, though and I'd rather not upset her.

But the people with the drive-by insults? Just ignorant grunts. You know you are better than they are -- for example, you know you wouldn't go around yelling insults at people.

[Lilith Moon]

Just remember, we are *better* and more complete human beings than those pathetic grunts with their caged minds. Be proud of yourself. Here's a :hugs:

[Kate Simmons]

I'd look at it in another way, Hon. This gives me power to elicit a "rise" out of some people, showing their ignorance, sure but giving you a fair amount of power no less. If you had totally "passed", they would have been none the wiser but since they did notice something (or thought they did), it shows me something stirred them to respond. Usually people that "dignify" something in that way have their own secrets and do all they can to throw attention on others. BTW, I think you look just fine myself. In fact you could be the double of a co-worker of mine I worked with for years and she is a genetic woman.:hugs:

[Chantelle CD]

This makes my heart bleed...im so so sorry.

Fools like that is what makes my heart jump to my throat, when i hear footsteps outside my apartment door while dressed, or make me cower in a corner if someone knocks at the door!! <SIGH> I wish people would just evolve already!!!

Dont let ignorance break your heart dear!!!

[O2B Barbara]

I wonder how many of the idiots that voice things like that are really closet gays or CD's?

There are a lot of people here that support and accept you without judging. Keep your many friends in mind when the mindless few show up.

Hugs,

[MsJoann]

I've never had that happen to me....at least not to my face anyway.
However, I have seen the ignorance some people can display. One day I was in line at the post office (drab) and a TG lady was in line ahead of me.
As soon as she walked out the door, the female clerk made some off-color remarks and the whole place broke out snickering.
I wanted to cry....

[Denielleinheels]

I have always felt that people need to get a life...their own life not mine. People can suck but in the end you are stronger because you accept them as people... it is through their ignorence that you simply must pitty them and not yourself. hang in there baby.:2c:

[Sandra]

Britney it's hard when things like this happen but try to chalk it up to experience and don't let it put you off going out. People like that are just plain ignorant and think they are so big and clever.

[fredgregjoe]

I wonder how many of the idiots that voice things like that are really closet gays or CD's?


Probably a lot. What better way to block your feelings that you don't understand than to lash-out at the very embodiment of those feelings. We just handle the feelings a lot better. :tongueout

[MsJanessa]

Darling if I were the Empress of the Universe(something that I'm still aspiring for---lol) We would have Our guards seize those scalliwags and flog them as We looked on with amusement:dom:----My personally experience as that there are three kinds of people out there besides Us T-Girls---those who don't have any feelings about Us one way or the other, those who want to be Us and those who want to have sex with Us---obviously the two bozos you ran into are not in the first group but in one of the latter two. Question is do they want to be Us or "do" Us?

[Bonnie D]

It is a terrible thing to have to go through and it is difficult to ignore when your safety could be at risk also. I am sure GGs, especially younger women, experience the same kind of verbal attacks although not with the same words. It must be quite scarey and hurtful.

They could be closeted people but I doubt it, just angry or insecure and they need to vent and showoff to their friends who also join in. I was closeted all my life and still am on the whole and if my friends made such comments to anyone while I was with them I would not join in nor would I say anything to stop them. However, if they ever attacked anyone because they were gay or TG I would have stopped them. It never happened but I know I would have because I was tougher than most of them.

As others have already said, we are here to support you and to listen. You and we are not alone, which is a big thing.

Bonnie

[Butterfly Bill]

What night of the week was this and where in your town was this in?. Even I won't go downtown in a Friday or Saturday night on the street that is on the cruising route for the teenagers. I avoid drunks and darkness in general.

People are all kinds of brave when hollering thru the window of a car that can quickly drive away if you try to retaliate in any way. And for every one of those people there are twenty people who give me compliments.

[battybattybats]

Darling if I were the Empress of the Universe(something that I'm still aspiring for---lol) We would have Our guards seize those scalliwags and flog them as We looked on with amusement:dom:----My personally experience as that there are three kinds of people out there besides Us T-Girls---those who don't have any feelings about Us one way or the other, those who want to be Us and those who want to have sex with Us---obviously the two bozos you ran into are not in the first group but in one of the latter two. Question is do they want to be Us or "do" Us?

I love the visuals of that!

I have read of studies on homophobia where people identified as homophobic from written answers to questions were then exposed to.. graphic material.. and, as there bodies were wired up to measure there bodies arousal responses the actual physiological response could be compared with what they say their response was and those of non-homophobic straight men and gay men...

The homophobic men, despite their claims of disgust, were in the majority of cases more aroused by gay porn than the gay men.

I think that bears out your personal experience.

[CrossdressinGoth]

Well thnx girls for all the support. Just stinks I had a night like that. I simply went for a walk around the city, not downtown or anything and it was on a thursday night. I just hate how some get like this. In all honesty it gives me more wanting to go out dressed because Im proud of wearing womans clothes and thats just me.

I wasnt wearing anything that was considered bad either, I actually dressed rather conservative so that is what kinda threw me off too. Ive been going for walks like this for about 3 weeks now and this is the first of it ever happening. Im not gonna let one bad apple spoil then entire batch. I guess I needed to vent when I made this post too. I still kinda get tear eyed though because it to me was like a huge stab in the chest.

[Echo Logical]

So I was thinking,

I would like to go out fully dressed, heels, makeup, mini-skirt, forms, the works. With a tight, hot pink tee.

On the tee would be

Crossdresser
Yes I have balls, do you?

:devil:

I am so gonna have to get that shirt printed up

[bredalee25]

There are alot of people in this world who are threatened by change or a difference of oppinion. We CDers have the oppinion that we should be able to wear whatever we want and take a walk with out this kind of crap. Those People just want things to stay as they want them to be but the world is changing and they can't handle it. They know we're here and we're not going anywhere anytime soon and it scares the s**t out of them. I know you feel bad now but cheer up hun we've all been there and we love you no matter what you are part of our family.

ttfn

[Deidra Cowen]

I am very sorry you had such a rough time on your walk sweetie. Hang in there, everyone has a bad experience sooner or later.

[fredgregjoe]

So I was thinking,

I would like to go out fully dressed, heels, makeup, mini-skirt, forms, the works. With a tight, hot pink tee.

On the tee would be

Crossdresser
Yes I have balls, do you?

:devil:

I am so gonna have to get that shirt printed up
I think I saw a site a while ago that had some shirts like that. Although I think they might have been tg shirts and not cd. I can't remember where I saw them, but they were funny. XD

[tiffianycd]

i was out dressed up in all my girl clothing and went too eat with a freind who was male and had a great time. I even joked with freinds who are girls about not finding thier clothing in my size and styles.
I have delt with people calling me fag, gay, and even all kinds of names and I have not even started dressing yet. like being diffrent is worng or something and you know what being yourself is more important that just being diffrent. and when someone is being themselves and who they are most people get offended because they no longer are the alpha male or female anymore.
be yourself , be who you are and don.t worry about what some stranger says.
Tiffianycd

[cindychan]

Sorry to hear about your night out there. Labels are just the pits and no matter how tough we are, they can get to us on any givin day. One reason I don't go out often are because of people like that. Sure they can say terrible things or be stupid, but so can I cause I'm so darn explosive:devil:

[CrossdressinGoth]

Well, this shows me girls that many have gone through this stuff and if you girls can go on with continue on doing it, so can I. I had some bad run ins on that night while dressed. Reading what has been typed and what Ive been thinking, Im not gonna worry about what people say, and Im not going to let it bother me anymore because if Im out and being happy being me, nothing can stop me from feeling great about being myself. Its like a revolution, the only way you will get a chance at a change is by going out and doing your duty to start to get more followers and thinkers to the rights in which you seek.

This weekend I was visiting my parents, (reason for not so many responses to this thread), and on my way home today I went to the mall crossdressed again. I went to Goodwill first and had some bad things go on their. I rolled it off my shoulders, they made rude comments to me, I simply said if by you degrading me for dressing makes you happy, then so be it. Im wearing womans clothing and this is making me happy. I told one woman in particular that she should be greatful I showed up dressed like a woman because if it made her feel more at peace with standing up for her beliefs, it wouldnt have happend if I wasnt there. And same for me, if I wasnt there dressed as a woman, I wouldnt have been as happy as I was. I said in a way it both made our days then. She stopped, looked for a moment, smiled and laughed and then appologized for being rude, shes just not used to seeing a man walk in womans clothing. I said appology accepted and you have a wonderful day now mam. I kept shopping and what others around me were saying and doing were not even on my mind.

Then I went to the mall shortly after, went to stores, tried on shoes, clothes, etc.. Workers asked if Im looking for a girlfriend and I simply said no for me then kinda made it obvious, (duh, you asked a guy in womans clothes if Im looking for a gf? Um haha, pay attention :P), they kinda laughed and smiled and said well if you need any help finding anything, dont be afraid to ask. I said thank you and went on my way. I didnt have much to spend but I got a cute pair of "skinny jeans" that were on sale. All in all the events that happend the night in which I made this post has made me grow up it seems a bit more and Im starting to be more willing to go out and be me, Bruce or Britney, if one or the other at that time makes me happy, Im not affraid or ashamed anymore to show my true colors anymore.

Thank you all for being apart of this forum. This is by far the best support Ive ever encountered and its helping me growup to be a stronger person.

Thank you all so much :hugs:

[sandra-leigh]

All in all the events that happend the night in which I made this post has made me grow up it seems a bit more and Im starting to be more willing to go out and be me, Bruce or Britney, if one or the other at that time makes me happy, Im not affraid or ashamed anymore to show my true colors anymore.


Excellent!

It's like my (medical) doctor has been telling me: our purpose in this world is to be happy.

[Kitty Sue]

That is unfortunate. Hopefully your feeling better.I too have been laughed at but that was fine by me.

[gmss]

I am very glad to hear that you have risen about that incident, and I commend you on having the strength to do as you like and go where you like in public, as you like.

It takes courage and conviction to do that; and quite frankly, it's more than I have at present. So once again I read these forums, and learn something valuable.


Well done!! :thumbsup: