Not that big a deal?

[Michelle04240]

I have always felt that CDing was not a big deal. A response I just gave in another thread made me think of a Q I could throw out.

I know there are different degrees that one can dress, so I guess this question may not apply to all, and I am aware of all the other things tied up in it. But to me it seems of all the things a guy can do, is CDing that bad?

Abusive husbands, out drinking with the boys all night...every night, sleeping around, jealousy, anger, unemployed, messy, etc etc..All these things and more that men can be, is putting on a pair of panties all that bad? I try to dress a few times a week, besides the panties which are always present, and maybe like to go out now and then.

My wife is pretty supportive, and I have not tested the single waters since I was 17. I see a lot of people fighting with the issue of telling a new SO about their CDing. To me it seems like it should almost be an easy pill to swallow in comparison to the many other traits/habits one could have.

I know it IS a big deal to many, and it IS a hard one to spit out. I guess the question is do you see it as a big deal? Do you see it as something that SHOULD be easier to accept? I'm not talking about dressing 24/7 which would be a different issue I guess, but the occasional dresser.

[Dasein9]

Well, I used to be married. Yeh, I would have preferred CD-ing to the hitting, the drugs, or the unemployment. :D

[battybattybats]

Absolutely it should not be such a big deal. For some reason it seems more taboo than a whole lot of terrible things. My auestion is why?

[Kate Simmons]

Like Das said, considering some of the alternatives, CDing is no big deal at all. The skill is to turn something that we may see to be a potential disadvantage into something that works to our advantage and be used as a positive resource.:happy:

[Denielleinheels]

I agree...my SO was married twice and they were both alchoholics/druggies. She views me as normal. She was in a long term relationship with guy where she found a pile of ******* porn. She asked him about it and he lied. Her problem wasn't the porn, it was the fact he lied. I told her about me immediately... I figured before I was vested or even cared I want it on the table. The fourth or fifth time came over Denielle answered the door. We have been together since 10/1

[terrilynn]

I personally don't consider my dressing as that big of a deal, to me anyway. My wife on the other hand felt betrayed, angry, and hurt when it was all brought out into the open. How could I have kept it soooo secret for so long in our lives together ( we started dating at 15, now both at 48 ). It took quite a while for things to settle down over it, and I think she has realized that things could have been much worse, like me cheating, or drinking and using drugs, etc. Its all pretty much 'DADT' in regards to me dressing, and she prefers not to see me when I am. Maybe someday though.............

Terrilynn

[Tree GG]

Sorry if you weren't asking for all opinions.

It's all relative. If all I'd ever known was abusive, insensitive louts, then yeah, a CDer would be a welcomed relief. But I had an apparently "vanilla", good-ol-farm-boy kind of guy, who decided in his mid-40's to become a lady about town (figuritively, please). Compared to vanilla, mid-western, wholesome, God's country lifestyle (tongue in cheek there), CDing is pretty big departure.

So it's a big deal only in comparison. I don't think many of you gurls want to be compared to an abusive, womanizing, drug addict, alcoholic - do you?

[Chantelle CD]

I dont think this i is a big deal either, I think women freak about it because they dont see what is so special about them that we would want to feel like one of them for, and we keep it so closeted its never seen and is kinda a shocker once they do see us. i can totally see how keeping it from them can hurt them so much, but they need to know how hard it is for us to deal with at times,and is our belief that we must hide it to everyone in fear of being cast aside. Once it is understood if we dont want to lose our maleness,< i think a SO's biggest fear> most are fine with it, and it isn't a big deal at all.

[RebeccaLynne]

Michelle, most women are searching for "Mr Right". Their ideal partner would therefore be the "man of their dreams", no matter how unrealistic that expectation may be. No small wonder that expressions of femininity by the "man in their life" doesn't figure into that equation. Although less objectionable than other proclivities or downright disgracefull behavior, CD'ing would most likely be viewed as a less than desireable attribute by many women.
Realistically, not exactly their "Prince Charming". Now, if occasionally a "Princess Charming" is acceptable to her, than SHE'S ideal!